My Story

(Here's my story. It's happened to all of us at one time or another, and here's when it happened to me. Please, don't hold back your emotions with the ending.)

One day I was just wandering online, minding my own business when this guy from NC (apparently that's Northern California in, well, Northern California) sent me an instant message claiming to have read my profile and that he also liked MST3K. I'm generally a nice person (I think) so I tried to make conversation.

"So, how long have been a MSTie?" I asked.

"MSTie?" he replied, "That's new, what is it, like, Trekkie or something?"

Baam! That's when you know that bad things are going to happen. He didn't know what a MSTie was! I tried not to show my anger with his ignorance, but after he revealed that he didn't even know that MST3K was now on the Sci Fi Channel he tried to cover for himself by changing the subject.

"So, who's your favorite 'bot?" he asked.

"Tom."

"Oh, everyone likes Tom. CROW's my favorite."

Baam! again.

"Uh, I think it's the other way around, everyone likes Crow the best because he's more...um, I dont know....like something," I told him. Am I right? I'm right, aren't I? All the good catch phrases are by Crow.*

"You're wrong," he said. "Why do people like Servo so much anyways?"

Grumble. "Well, maybe it's his voice," I said, trying my hardest to be nice because I could tell he was getting mad.

"What?" outraged (I'm guessing) "You mean that obnoxious voice that tells people to bite me?"

Baam! Three strikes you're out. I knew 'Bite me' was Crow's catch phrase and me and this freak argued about it until he sent me a wav of Servo indeed saying 'Bite me'. I explained that Servo uses Crow's phrases all the time just like Crow uses Tom's, and sure Servo sounded obnoxious but don't we all when we're reminding people to bite us? I got the generic "Whatever" in response.

Sigh, and at the end of this cruel, cruel conversation this complete stranger said (or typed in this case) one of the meanest things I've ever heard/read in my life. "You don't deserve to watch MST3K" That's something I'd never wish on my worst enemy and here this know-nothing dickweed was saying it to me, and yet it still just broke my heart.

So here's the moral of this story: Fellow MSTies, we can spot a non-MSTie or a MSTie newbie a mile away. Make sure you don't flaunt your knowledge to them, even if you're not trying because people get pissed off really easily when it comes to Mystery Science Theater 3000. And all of you new, young MSTies out there, don't be surprised if you find a few smart-alleck MSTies out there with you too. We love our show and we show it in the worst way sometimes. Be patient with us; there's more to gain than to lose.

And finally, to that one NC guy who IMed me, I'd just like to say "Oh, bite me, it's fun!" Thanks for the story and no hard feelings okay?

Note: This occured a while ago, when MST3K was in its first Sci Fi Channel season. Since then, many people have been liking Tom more since he is more familiar to them. Not to mention that, without Crow/Trace, the show has never quite been the same. (And don't get me started about Joel leaving).

Back to Oh, the MSTieness!
Hear the actual wav the guy sent me (short download)

Email: pessimstie@aol.com