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The Shark Attack Conspiracy

In case you haven't noticed, there have been an unusually large ammounts of shark attacks and shark related fatalities on the East Coast of the United States. While the government and some "scientists" are blaming the "attacks" on "global warming" and "unusual weather", the Great West Texas Militia has learned otherwise.

A picture taken underwater by one of our men in a homebuilt submarine has shown a massive shark, guided by a black helicopter with a special underwater energy shield. You will notice the helicopter is dwarfed by the shark. The special energy field allowing the helicopter to operate underwater can be seen as a square area of discoloration around the helicopter.

Now at this point, you are saying; "But weren't the sharks that attacked people of normal size?" Yes they were, but they were just babies, and will grow up to massive, helicopter dwarfing proportions.

Since the East Coast is a major strategic part of the United States, and has important targets like Washington, DC, New York City, and DisneyWorld, should any invasion suceed, the East Coast must fall. Now the best way to keep people out of the water is to scare them away. This is why the UN/Amish have genetically altered sharks to make them grow to helicopter dwarfing sizes, and to eat people. This will eventually lead to the closure of all Eastern beaches, which will then let the UN invasion fleets steam right up to our East Coast. The invasion will be supported by the monster sharks, which will eat helicopters, small ships and most explosive devices. They will also be used as escorts for the slower, yet equally lethal Amish submerbuggies, a submersible form of the traditional Amish buggy. More on that item in the near future.

In the meantime, I encourage every American to make this plot known, and to carry homemade explosives on the beach to blow up some the the baby sharks which are vulnerable to pipe bombs, large caliber handguns, and largebore rifles.

Stay Alert, and remember; The UN is not your friend!