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The Great Bathroom Conspiracy!

Every since this great country was first founded, people have been using holes in the ground to conduct their bodily business. This demanded great courage of the user. They would have to brave any weather in order to purge themselves of waste products. This of course led to a population of people with great stamina. After all if you had to crawl out of a warm bed, get dressed, go outside in the freezing cold with snow or freezing rain falling, step into an unheated wooden building, drop your drawers, and sit on a cold wooden seat, wouldn't YOU have some stamina?

Of course not everyone would go outside at night, often they made use of a porcelain "chamber pot" to conduct their business in. In the morning, the chamber pot was taken out from under the bed, and it's contents dumped in the outhouse, or simply thrown outside onto the city streets. This also took some gumption. Imagine having something like that under your bed at night.

Nor was there any toilet paper. The Sears Catalog, or corncobs often did cleansing duty. Again, leading to a hardier breed of person than now. Can you imagine using a corncob to clean yourself with? It takes a real tough person to do that.

The advent of indoor plumbing, and soft toilet tissue led to the demise of corncobs and the outhouse. It also led the the degredation of society. Before we had soft quilted paper to wipe our backside with, we were a nation of self sufficient, hard working people. Now, we step into a plush and comfortable room, sit on a plush seat, and use soft toilet paper. It is no secret that when the bathroom got soft SO DID WE Do the Amish use soft bathrooms? NO! And we marvel at how they have managed to overcome their technological limitations to become a major powerhouse, activily seeking to take over the world! Soft bathrooms lead to soft people, which lead to A WEAK SOCIETY! We MUST return to the old ways or we as a society are DOOMED!

Below, is a picture of what me must all strive to atain again. The old fashioned, outhouse. Only through the outhouse can we obtain the freedoms we once had. Give up your soft, weak bathromm, and dig a hole in the ground and regain the stamina society once had! Throw out your soft, quilted toilet paper, and use a CORNCOB! A strong people, is a STRONG NATION!

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