PLAY ciera: (holding out a calendar) pardon me, but could i trouble you to maybe bless something for me? priest: excuse me, dear? i'm a bit deaf in this ear here. ciera: you mean god hasn't helped you any? priest: (loses composure briefly) what? oh my child! i haven't said that at all! ciera: then why are you deaf? hasn't your devotion been rewarded? priest: (shakes head) dear, it doesn't work that way. ciera: hah! perhaps for you it doesn't! priest: now, let me explain a few things to you, miss. you see, the lord-- ciera: bah! and i was going to ask you to bless something for me! priest: why, certainly i'd bless something for you, if you'd like, but-- ciera: no no! (makes dismissive gestures) it's no use now! i'm sure you wouldn't be able to help me. priest: what is it you wanted blessed? ciera: you're not even a real priest. priest: (gasps) how could you say such a thing! of course i'm a real priest! ciera: (her voice drops to a raspy whisper) then bless this, i pray you. priest: what...? why are you thrusting a calendar at me? ciera: so that you can bless it! say...prayers over it, or whatever it is that you people do. (the priest looks confused) priest: i'm afraid i don't understand. ciera: sprinkle holy water on it! dance about it in circles! priest: now, miss, i-- ciera: i don't really care! do whatever it is that priests are supposed to do! priest: i think you misunderstand the duties of the clergy, miss. ciera: are you insulting my intelligence? is it because i'm female? priest: (looks surprised. he hadn't been sure she was a female.) why...uh....no, of course not. ciera: then it's because i'm a cripple! that's why! ohhh..... priest: (looks at her carefully. suddenly, one of her arms disappears. he gasps) what is this trick?! ciera: they always find out eventually. you're a holy man, of course, so it didn't take you long. priest: i'm so confused. ciera: i'm sorry if the sight of me revolts you. but the illusion tires me. priest: uh...? ciera: ...and when i'm tired, i'm very irritable. i'm sorry. priest: i shall collapse if there is to be much more of this. ciera: now! about my calendar. priest: oh, yes, whatever you say. ciera: DO IT! priest: ohhh....ohhhhdeargod... (he puts his hands together and nervously pretends to bless the calendar) ciera: are you through? priest: yes, miss...i'm...i'm quite through. ciera: (she smiles warmly. oddly, her arm reappears) now that wasn't so hard, was it! priest: n-n-no....no it wasn't. may i go now? ciera: why ask me? it's not as though i've a GUN to your head or anything! it's not like i'm crazy! priest: of course not! i wasn't implying...! ciera: or...were you? what were you implying?? priest: why...why, nothing! ciera: liar! priests aren't supposed to lie!! (pulls out gun and shots the priest. he falls to the ground and bleeds on her orange suede loafers) priest: uhhh.....(dies) ciera: priests are such bad liars. --- theEND. MORAL: priests are such bad liars.
(those darn europeans.)
rrrrrrrramstein.
jurgen schmergen.