this is so damn contrived and shitty. i can't help writting drivel, it's in my fucking nature or something. i hate the idea of an ingrained nature, by the way. i dunno why i just said that. free will is the only thing to be obeyed. so i guess what this really means is that i'm fucking up my OWN belief system all by myself. none of this really involves him. none of this really involves anyone or anything but me. which makes me feel just extra super cool.
i remember all the details
i wrote down everything i said to you
you couldn't tell me
where i've been lately
if someone cared to ask you
can you even tell me
where i am right now?
you won't remember me
when you leave
can you sharpen the lines
in my face even now?
how do you
how do you live with yourself
if i were you i'd be crawling
i'd be crawling out of here
there's no relief in grieving
and there's no reason left to lie
i remember every invention
i wrote down everything i didn't tell you
you could need me
just as much
if i could show you how
could you comprehend me
if i handed you these blueprints?
everything important
is underlying
i want you lying under me
do i disgust you this much?
how do you
how do you live with yourself
i'm not with you, i'm crawling
i'm crawling out of here
i know there's no release in anger
and you took all i had to lose