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THE JOYS OF EXERCISE

It is well documented that for every minute that
you exercise, you add one minute to your life.
This enables you at 85 years old to spend an
additional 5 months in a nursing home at $5000 per month.
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My grandmother started walking five miles a day when she was 60.
Now she's 97 years old and we don't know where the hell she is.

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The only reason I would take up exercising is
so that I could hear heavy breathing again.

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I joined a health club last year, spent about 400 bucks.
Haven't lost a pound. Apparently you have to show up.

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I have to exercise early in the morning
before my brain figures out what I'm doing.

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I like long walks, especially when
they are taken by people who annoy me.
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I have flabby thighs, but fortunately
my stomach covers them.

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The advantage of exercising every day
is that you die healthier.

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If you are going to try crosscountry skiing,
start with a small country.

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And last but not least:
I don't exercise because it makes the ice jump right out of my glass.

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You could run this over to your friends but why not just email it to them!

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