The Thoughts' of Tess Title: The Thoughts' of Tess
Author: Kata
Rating: PG
Disclaimer: Roswell belongs to WB. I don't own them, never will.
Summery: See title. :-)
Author's notes: I know a lot of you don't like Tess, but I think I understand her, and that's where that fic comes from.
Distribution: As usual, just give me your URL.
Feedback: I desperatly need it!


They don't understand. I thought that I would finally belong when we found them. I thought that I would finally have a family. But it hasn't worked out that way.

I've never had anyone but Nasedo, and he doesn't care, not really. He's just afraid that Pierce will use one of us to get to him. I was never able to make friends. Only aquanitences, and then it was time to move on. Always hiding, always searching. When Nasedo told me that there were three more children just like me, I was so happy. Finally, I would have people who understood, who I could talk to. Maybe even a best friend. When I got a little older, Nasedo told me that one of them was my intended mate. I had never even let myself consider having a boyfriend. A boyfriend was letting someone get too close. I had dreamed of being in love, of course, and having someone love me back, but I never really thought it would happen.

Right after my sixteenth birthday, Nasedo told me that he had found the other three. That was the best birthday present I could have recieved-- a family. It took us a couple of months to set everything up, so we could move there without suspicion. We also took time to observe the others, especially Max, my destined mate. Finally, it was time. My first day at lunch, I was so excited that I went right up to Isabel, not even noticing that she was deep in conversation with Alex. To my surprise, she *was* like me! I went to her house later that day, and met the other two like me-- Max and Michael. To my surprise, I didn't feel an instant attraction to Max. I had thought that I would know right away that he was "the one." Michael was hostile, but our observations had told us to expect that.

I tried to get to know the other three better. I guess I went too far. I interrupted Isabel's conversation's with Alex, I taunted Michael with information about our powers, and Max... I made Max see things. From our surveillence, I knew that Max was dating a human girl, Liz, but I wasn't going to let her stand in my way. Even when Isabel told me how in love Max was with Liz, I didn't lose hope. I even got Max to kiss me. The truth is, I don't love Max. I barely even know him. But to give up on him would be to give up on the only family I'll ever have, and I'm not about to do that. Even if they haven't accepted me like I thought they would. I thought that I would form an instant bond with them, that I would understand them, and that they would understand me. But Isabel's the only one I've been able to get close to. They know now that I'm like them. They know their destiny. I'll do anything to be part of their circle, and I will follow my destiny. I don't love Max. I never will. I don't want him, but I want to be his. I want to have friends. I want to have a family. I just want to *belong.*