******
Lost. So alone. It wasn't supposed to be like this! We were supposed to be a family, together. And even now, standing twith the others, watching Liz disappear into the distance, I don't think I can ever truely be a part of this group. They've already made their bonds. With humans. And I'm not a part of this.
I can't rememer a time when I wasn't desperartly lonely. I know Michael thinks of Nasedo as a father, but he is NOT a father! He's never shown any emotion to me. All he's done is train me. For meeting the others, for battling or enemies, for finding our home. And so I grew up alone.
And then finally, finally, we get to Roswell. And... they don't let me in. I was almost invisible. When I met Isabel, and went over to her house, I almost had a friend. And I met Michael and Max. And, for once, the four of us were together. But it wasn't the instand connection I thought it would be. Max and Michael made Isabel suspicious of me, and Nasedo pushed me to reveal our destiny, and so I even lost Isabel's almost-friendship.
We didn't know where to go from the cliff-- how do you go about saving a plante? So we just went on with our lives. And I went on watching the others, observing, always on the outside looking in. For Michael, Max, and Isabel have that special connection that you can only have when you grew up with someone; I'm not a part of that.
Max. and Liz. Their names go together, forever and always. They are soulmates. I was foolish to ever think of them as anything else. Max, my destined husband? No, not even with all of Nasedo's pushing. Because we're not the same people we were in our previous lifetime. And I don't love Max.
Michael. The second-in-command. My brother. I haven't even told him that. I understand him more than Max. He's like me, longing to fit in, to have a family. when will he see that Max and Iz are his family? And if he wants me, I'm his family, too.
And he'll always have his Maria. I wonder if they know how much they love each other yet. Something happened between them, something changed. I don't know what it is, but I know they won't be able to stay apart. They belong together. Not Michael and Isabel, but Michael and Maria.
Isabel. A girl so like me, and yet so different. Hiding behind her "ice princess" mask, just as I hide behind the mask of destiny. Does is surprise you that I don't give a crap about destiny? I just want to belong.
Isabel has love. She and Max lucked out in the parent department. She has Max and Michael, too. And Alex. I envy her Alex. She has someone who loves her, who loves the real her, and not the false mask. Alex will cherish her for the rest of his life, if she only lets him.
And so we're back in school. The three aliens and the three humans. And me. Alone. And one other, also not quite part of the group. Soon it will be the three couples again. They're already dwifting back together. And then I'll be even more alone than I am now.
"Tess?"
I look up at the person who has interrupted my thoughts, and I realize that I'm not quite alone as I thought. And maybe, just maybe, this other outsider will give me the love I've been longing for.
End.
