Be a Man Title: Be a Man
Author: Kata
Disclaimer: WB owns Roswell, not me, but they should be all us fic writers for promoting the show. :-) Song's not mine either.
Summery: Post-Crazy. Michael takes lessons on romance from Max.
Distribution: Give me your URL, and you can have the story.


"Be a guy," Michael said, plopping down into the seat next to Max.

"What?" Max, asked, startled.

"That what Maria told me once," Michael explained. "That's why I first kissed her."

"That's great, Michael, but why are you telling me this?"

"I need you to make a man out of me."

Max choked on his cherry cola. "What?"

"Teach me how to be a guy, how to be romantic, how to make Maria happy."

Let's get down to business
to defeat the Huns
Did they send me daughters,
When I asked for sons?
You're the saddest bunch
I ever met
But you can bet
before we're through
Mister, I'll make a man
out of you

"Okay," Max began. "Girls love the little stuff, like doors being opened for the, or having chairs pulled out for them. Now, practice pulling this chair out."


"Do you want to make Maria happy or not?" Max asked pointedly.

Michael sighed, but pulled the chair out.

"No, that's too fast. Take the chair out slowly, and you don't need to pull it out so far."

Michael groaned, but tried again.

Tranquail as a forest
But the fire within
Once you find your center
You are sure to win
You're a spineless, pale
pathetic lot
And you haven't got a clue
Somehow I'll make a man
out of you

Max stood, watching Michael try to pick out a gift for Maria. Michael was really trying, Max though. He really wanted to learn how to make Maria happy. Max wasn't sure how he would ever shape Michael into something any girl would love, but he knew he would do it somehow.

Michael came over with a bar of soap, "How about this?" he asked, his eyes full of hope.

"No, Michael. No soap-- unless it's scented. It's okay if it smells good."

Max sighed as Michael starting looking for another gift. He had a long way to go.

I'm never gonna catch
my breath
Say good-bye to those
who knew me
Boy, was I a fool in school
for cutting gym
This guy's got 'em
scared to death
Hope he doesn't see
right through me
Now I really wish that I
knew how to swim

Michael sat at his kitchen table, trying to compose a properly romantic note for Maria. He sighed as he crossed out another line, wondering if he would ever succeed. Michael briefly considered quitting, but pushed the thought out of his head. Maria wanted this, and he wanted Maria happy. No matter how hard it was, he wasn't going to give up.

(Be a man)
We must be swift as
the coursing river
(Be a man)
With all the force
of a great typhoon
(Be a man)
With all the strength
of a raging fire
Mysterious as the
dark side of the moon

Max and Michael stood in the Evans' live room with Isabel.

"Hug Isabel," Max commanded.

"I'm not hugging her!" Michael protested.

"Gee, thanks, Michael," Isabel said.

"If you can't hug Isabel, who's practically your sister, then how will you ever hug Maria?" Max demanded.

"Fine, then!" Michael walked over to Isabel, and enveloped her in a giant hug.

"Ugh! Not so tight!"Isabel gasped.

"Gently, Michael! You're trying to let her know you care, not trying to kill her!"

Michael tried again, this time not so tightly.

"Better," Max told him. "Try again."

Time is racing toward us
till the Huns arrive
Heed my every order
and you might survive
You're unsuited for
the rage of war
So pack up, go home
you're through
How could I ever make a man
out of you?

"I give up!" Michael shouted. "I'm never going to get this right! I can't write a love letter, or pick the right gift, or hug right! I can't even pull out a chair right!"

"Michael, I am trying to teach you. *You're* the one who wanted to do this, remember?" Max retorted.

"Forget it, Maxwell! Maria can just take me the way I am!" Michael stormed out of Max's room.

(Be a man)
We must be swift as
the coursing river
(Be a man)
With all the force
of a great typhoon
(Be a man)
With all the strength
of a raging river
Mysterious as the
dark side of the moon

Michael climbed into Max's window.

"Look! How would this be for a gift?" Michael held up a vial of ceder oil. "And I wrote a note, too!"

"That's great, Michael. Do you want to try again?" Max asked.

Michael nodded, "I want to do this."

"Okay, then let's start over. I think you've got the gift and note part right, so let's try opening doors." Max paused. "Michael?"


"What made you change your mind? What made you want to do this again?"

Michael looked down at this feet. "I just realized that I want Maria to be happy no matter what."

(Be a man)
We must be swift as
the coursing river
(Be a man)
With all the force
of a great typhoon
(Be a man)
With all the strenghth
of a raging fire
Mysterious as the
dark side of the moon

Michael rang the doorbell to Maria's house.

She looked surprised to see him. "Michael!"

"Here, Maria. These are for you." Michael handed her the vassel of cedar oil, and the note, along with one red rose.

Maria's eyes softened, "Oh, Michael. Thank you."

Michael tenderly hugged her, and then reached for her hand. "Come on. I made reservations for dinner."

Maria followed behind him, smiling. Something had changed Michael-- wonderfully changed him. She sighed happily. Michael was turning more and more into the man of her dreams every day.