Title: Back To Your Heart (1/1)
Author: Kata
Disclaimer: Roswell still doesn’t belong to me. The song is Backstreet Boy’s “Back to Your Heart.” It doesn’t belong to me either. How depressing.
Rating: PG
Summary: Set after BTM, of course. Michael’s POV.
Author’s Notes: Rosmole's on hold for now, but I had to get this out of my system. I was listening to an old BSB CD for the first time in ages, and this song just seemed to fit the situation perfectly. Let me know what you think.

******

I remember back when Maria and I were first getting to know each other. Neither of us thought we would be forever. I didn't let her get close to me-- I broke up with her because she got too close. Of course, it was too late by then. Maria had already become a part of me and it was inevitable that we get back together-- and break up again. And get back together. No matter what happened, she was always the only one for me and along the way, she somehow became *the* one. My soulmate, if you want to use Max and Liz's word. I stayed on earth for Maria, got a second job for Maria; everything was for Maria. Now she wants to throw all that away.

It's not that I can't live without you
It's just that I don't even want to try

In the days of my long-gone stonewall, I once said I could walk away from everything. I guess I betrayed that when I stayed on Earth for Maria. It doesn't really matter anymore. I don't *want* to walk away.

Every night I dream about you
Ever since the day we said good-bye

I never realized how much I see Maria. I still see her at the Crashdown at school, but she no longer waits for me after school or tries to convince me to go on midnight walks. She's not really a part of my life anymore. And I miss her more than I thought possible.

If I wasn't such a fool
Right now I'd be holding you
There's nothing that I wouldn't do
Baby if I only knew

I tried so hard. Being a boyfriend doesn't come naturally to me. Not like it does to Max or Jesse. I had to work to find things to do on dates or to find the perfect gift. And I still got it wrong. Maybe that's the real reason she left. I'm just not a good enough boyfriend. I know that's not true, but it makes me feel better to think that way. It would be something I could change. Something I could do to get Maria back.

The words to say
The road to take
To find a way back to your heart
What can I do
To get to you And find a way back to your heart

This time it isn't something I can fix. Maria's not mad at me because of Courtney or a bottle of shampoo. This is something else and I'd do anything, give anything, to fix it. She said she had to find herself, that she had become lost. What can I do to fix that? Can I?

I don't know how it got so crazy
But I'll do anything to set things right
'Cause your love is so amazing
Baby you're the best thing in my life

Maria really is the best thing that ever happened to me. Through all my troubles with Hank, the alien stuff, it didn't matter. Maria was always there for me. She was the one constant in my life, even when we weren't together. That's why I can't believe that it's over. Could Maria really turn her back on all we have together? I hope not, because I don't think I'll ever be able to let her go.

Let me prove my love is real
And make you feel the way I feel
I promise I would give the world'
If only you would tell me girl

I thought I was finally getting things right. I stayed on Earth for her, I got a second job so I could buy her better presents, yet she still broke up with me. I still lost her. Why am I always the one who loses out? Max and Isabel got the good parents, the good powers, and the good relationships. I didn't mind when it was just my awful powers and Hank beating up on me, but now I have a busted-up relationship, too. I lost out again.

The words to say
The road to take
To find a way back to your heart
What can I do
To get to you
And find a way back to your heart

Did I do it? Did I cause Maria to lose herself? Because that's the one thing I could never live with. I couldn't live with the knowledge that I hurt her. How could I hurt Maria when I'm miserable without her?

Give me one more chance, to give my love to you
'Cause no one on this earth loves you like I do

If I can't have her, no one can. If any other guy touches her, I'll-- no. No, I won't. If Maria finds someone else, I'll step back. It's Maria's happiness that matters, not mine. If someone else can make her happy, I can't stand in the way.

The words to say
The road to take
To find a way back to your heart
What can I do
To get to you
And find a way back to your heart

Friends. That's all the claim I can lay on Maria now. We were never friends. Not like Maria and Max, or me and Isabel. From the very beginning, Maria and I had this weird attraction to each other. We've known each other forever and it's always been the same. She was always, always the girl I watched for as long as I can remember. Of course, I don't like to admit it, , but it's true all the same. Now that weird attraction is all we have left. After letting her get into my head and heart, further than anyone else could ever go, all I can do is what I did all through ninth grade: stare at the back of her head during math.

I turn back time
To make you mine
And find a way back to your heart
I beg and plead
Fall to my knees
To find a way back to your heart

If there was anything I could do, I would do it. I would give up anything for Maria, but she asked me to give up her and I can't go against her wishes

The words to say
The road to take
To find a way back to your heart
What can I do
To get to you
And find a way back to your heart

Maria's gone. And since it was her wish, I have to obey it. I'll do anything for Maria, even let her go. Even so, I won't give up. I'll be here waiting for her to come back. She has to come back. We're bound together somehow and that means she'll come back. She has to. She loves me. We're meant to be together. Aren't we?

End

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