THE GREAT MILENKO IS THE FOURTH JOKER CARD. TO US THIS IS THE BEST ALBUM OF ICP'S.
The Great Milenko
Intro
"Pumpkin, put some music on, I feel like dancin'." "Hold on, suga, I'm fixin' to right now………3,6,4…awright, now come over here, woman, let's get this shindig started, woo! C'mon, everybody!………… Now what in the hell is wrong with this juke machine?" "Be warned, my children……six will visit……followed by the crumbling of time itself. Before the coming of Shangra La, a dark Carnival will sweep across the land, as a shadow, plagued with destruction. A parade of freaks, jugglers, and death. This wretched nightmare is led by six faces. Three have come…three have gone. The fourth emerges…now. He walks among us as a shadow, void of light, powered by your own darkness, strengthened by your own wickedry. A horrid reflection of your very own deep desires cast and reflected back upon yourself. Brothers and Sisters! The time has come for the Necromaster. The unleashing of the fourth joker's card. The arrival of…The Great Milenko…Milenko…Milenko…" "This damn thing! Maryanne, what in the hell is wrong with this music box?" "Don't mind that old thing, honey, it does that all the time."
Great Milenko
(Chorus:) Great Milenko (Ha Ha-Ha Ha Haaa…) Great Milenko (Hm-hm-Hm-hm Ha-ha-Ha-ha) Great Milenko (Ha Ha-Ha Ha Haaa…) Great Milenko (Hm-hm-Hm-hm Ha-ha-Ha-ha) (end chorus) (Chorus) Come one, come all, and witness magic! I introduce to you an occult sorcerer of the ancient craft of Necromancy. A caster of mind-bending illusions, from the nethervoid of the shadow walkers, excel from Shangra La…The great Milenko. (Chorus) (Chorus) Ladies and Gentlemen, witness the keeper of arcane, wicked voodoo magic. A beguiler of spells, hexes, and curses, with the help of potions, talismans, and ancient relics from the forbidden realms of the dark carnival. Ladies and Gentlemen… The Great…Milenko! (Chorus w/Milenko echo) (Chorus w/Milenko echo)
Hokus Pokus
aughterin' Strangulars, Jugglin' Jugulin' Juggulas, Fall-in, fat floppy titty freaks…IC fuckin' P's in the Haugh!(Hoo Hoo!) Abracadabra, boom shaka day, I'm Violent J, and I'm back like a vertebrae. And I come with a hat full of tricks, Trunk full of faygo, car full of fat chicks. Ha Ha-Ha Ha Ha Ha-Ha-Ha, fuck you. Wicked Clowns, we'd like to say what's up, to the Cobras, X-men, and Counts, And everybody with clown love, even sucks I never heard of. Roll into town, and out with the big top, Four cards down, and two more still to drop. And when it does, I'd pack up and hit the road, Cuz I don't wanna see your head explode! Toss me an ax, and I'll toss you a dead chicken, Add a buck, ya get a two liter wit' 'em. And when the genie says on with the show, it's Hokus Pokus Joker's, Great Milenko. (Once again, It's the psychotic carnival creatures in the ha…) (chorus:) Hokus Pokus Joker's ride, Come take a spin on a carny-ride (end chorus) (Southwest slivering snakes of darkness.)(w/Milenko echo) (chorus) Shazaam, Bam! Shaka-laka lokey, Shaggy the clown back like scoliosis, Call me a psycho-skitzo-freak, and I'll call you by your name! (Dick anus) Cuz I could give two shits and a fuck, I bounce down Frimmer in a popcorn-clown truck. I'm a circus ninja southwest voodoo wizard, I grab ya gizzard! Jump on the carpet, let's take a spin, Everybody's waitin' for the show to begin. Up to the top, by the neck, and let ya go, (Wow!) Try to land in a glass of faygo! (UH!) You suck! Ya missed the fuckin' glass, Broke ya neck, and busted ya fuckin' ass, But the genie says on with the show, Hokus Pokus Jokers, Great Milenko! (What awaits you after death? Rub the lamp and explore!) (chorus) (Enter Milenko's funhouse! Walk right through the wretched hall!)(w/Milenko echo) (chorus) F-F-Fuck off! F-F-Fuck off! Clown dog…Freak dog… Joker dog…Milenko dog… (Visions of Joker cards flashing in your mother's face!) (Female chorus) Rude boy and Chunky, down wit' the clown, First time we ever went to Mexican town. I remember, we couldn't pay the bill, they got hot, And beat us down in the fucking parking lot! (Fuck you!) Toljest, Jump Steady, and Nate the Mack, Tagged ICP by the train tracks! And it was on, the dawn of a new day, Magical carpets creepin' down the freeway. (Hoo Hoo) Walked in a gypsy's tent with a food stamp, And walked out with a magical limp, yeah, I met Milenko, he gave me three wishes, That night, I fucked three fat bitches! Stank, get the fuck wit' it, forget it, I'll rip ya face off, and wipe my ass wit' it! When the genie says on with the show, It's Hokus Pokus Jokers, Great Milenko! (Primal order, magic train, come join us in song!) (chorus) (City to village, hamlet to town, the show must go on!)(w/Milenko echo) (chorus) (Giant ladies, bearded ladies, radiant ladies! Ladies?) (female chorus) (Clouds of darkness, and underneath them come the clown!) (chorus) Fuck that!
Piggy Pie
Ahhh! They get it! Woo! We got some fresh fills for your fat chicken-ass to snack on, bitch! So here, start wit' a slice of this fresh piggy pie, mother fuka! The first little piggy, his house is made of wood, He lives in a chicken turkey piggy neighborhood. He likes to fuck his sister, and drink his moonshine, A typical redneck filthy fuckin' swine! I rode into town with my ax in my holster, Everybody knows about the wicked piggy roaster. A farmer at the border, he tried to take me out, I drew my ax with the quickness, and cut his chicken feathers out! Walked in the village, and to the piggy's place, He opened up his door, and popped me in the face. It blew me off the porch, and cracked my head in half, But I'm a Juggalo, so it only made me laugh. (Hehe!) Forty in hand, I rose from the dead, And threw with all my might, I made a pig noise off his head. Since we out west, I had a little fun, And pulled his fuckin' tongue out the back of his cranium! (Chorus:) Three little piggies, to make a piggy pie. There's nothing like the sound when you hear a piggy cry. I might use a gun, (No!) I might use an ax, (yes!) The carnival's in town, come and get your freaky sex! (end chorus) The second little piggy, his house is made of brick, And this little piggy is a mutha fuckin' dick. He sits on his bench and gets all the respect, But if I get a chance, I'm goin' straight for the neck. He walked in the room, and everybody rose, Lopped off bucket chillin' underneath my clothes. First they let the piggy, now you can finally sit, But what this piggy don't know is he's about to get his neck wet! Now I see the baliff, I'm thinkin' what the fuck? I can smoke this room before his hearing aid will pick it up. Old-ass man, I let him get away, That tired mutha fucka, probably die tomorrow anyway. Here come the piggy, it's time for my case, His eyes are blood red with a wicked lookin' face. He saw my joker's smile, and sentenced me a dime, So I racked on the bucket, made it fuckin' rain pork rhines! (chorus) (chorus) The last little piggy, his house is made of gold, He lives in a mansion on his own private road, I started walking down it, the gaurd he told me wait, I bounced off his head and did a Jackie Chan over the gate! Cuz this little piggy, must definatly fry, I'm a lop his nugget off and toss it in the sky. And then I watch the moon take the form of the devil, And pull it out the sky, and beat it with a shovel. People in my city, they fight for they meals, He sleeps on a matress stuffed with hundred dollar bills. A ritchie is the devil, he never really made it, So I'm a take his money stack and stuff his face wit' it. Opened up his door, he's sleeping in his bed, I grabbed a brick, and roller-laid it upside his head. He begged for his life, I told him it's too late, It took away his dough and watched the devil suffocate, cuz I need (chorus) (chorus) (chorus) (chorus) Rrrrriiinnng. "Hotline." "H-Hello?" "Whuddup." "What's up. I not sure that I wanna live any more, that's what's up." "Hold On!…………………………Helloo?" "I-I need someone to talk to." "Call your mom." "My mother died last year." "Serves her right, bitch! Hahahaha! I'm just playin', fuck-nuts. Listen! Whenever you're feelin' low, just page me, and I'll call you." "You will?" "Sure. I'll call you a nerdy bitch for botherin' me! Now! Don't blow your fuckin' head off." "Why not? Who cares if I do?" "The poor guy who's gotta clean that shit up! If you're gonna do it, do it outside or somethin'!" "Y-You think I won't really do it, don't ya?" "Honestly, I could give a rat's ass." "You think I won't, huh? You think I'm kidding? You think I'm-" "Do it! Do it Fucker! Bring me the gun, I'll fuckin' do it for ya!" BOOM! "Hello? Hello? Are ya there?" "Hello?" "I knew ya wouldn't do it, ya scary bitch!"
How Many Times
(chorus:) How many times will I ask myself why, how many times? How many times will I ask myself why, how many times will I cry? (end chorus) (chorus) How many times will you honk your horn and say fuck you? Now what the fuck does that do? Ya feel better now? I didn't let ya pass, How 'bout I stop my car, and beat your fuckin' ass? How many times will my neighbor beat his wife? Somewhere in that house there's a butcher knife. Fuckin' drunk, swingin' his fists about, Why don't you wait till he sleeps, then take him out? How many times will I sit in a hot car? Traffic jam, been sittin' for a fuckin' hour. Must be an accident, I hope nobody died, Finally get there, and the crash is on the other side! The gawkers roll by and creep slow, Hopin' they can see a mangled body show. Some park, and stand there and watch it all, With their kids, they point, and fuckin' stare! (and just look!) I remember one time I was pulled over, Handcuffed, the cop was like, show's over. People watching, hoping that he shoots me, I just wanted to choke their fucking heads! (chorus w/vocal ad lib) (chorus) How many times will I wait in a line, It's three-thirty, I fuckin' got here at nine. I'm finally up to the front, can't wait another minute, Why am I here? To pay a fucking parking ticket. The lady at the counter acts like a fuckin' bitch, No smiles, no help, you're just a piece of shit, I'm gettin' pissed, calm down, fuck it, forget it, Back to my car, and there it is, another ticket! How many times will a crackhead smoke crack, And ask me for some money cuz he wants crack, Give him money, again, he's coming back, Walk away, and here's another, "Gimmie crack." How many time will a kid give a dirty look, A little punk-ass bitch tryin to be a crook, I wrote the book, I was out robbin' liquor stores, When you were just a nut stain in your mama'a drawers. (chorus w/vocal ad lib) (chorus) How many times will you steal my car stereo, It don't even work, ya feel like a bitch, don't ya? I vacuum all the fuckin' glass off from my seat, I sit down, and got a piece stuck in my butt-cheek. How many times did I walk in, and just sit, And have to listen, and learn all this bullshit, Learnin' history and science, fuckin' wait, Knowin' that, will that put food on my plate? Yeah, can I walk into McDonald's, into the counter, And tell 'em you can make limestone from gunpowder, Will they give me a cheeseburger if I know that shit? Fuck no, fuck you, and shut your fuckin' lip! How many times will a judge decide my fate, Who is he? A bitch! Nothin' great. He takes shits, and fuck his old floppy wife, Plays with his balls and judges my life! (And who the fuck is he? He judges my life!) (chorus w/vocal ad lib) (chorus) (chorus) (chorus) "Dawg, I peels caps all day long, mutha fucka. The call me the big wheeler cap peeler, ya know what I'm sayin'? I run this whole mutha fucka. The whole block, dawg. They call me the king. The big king. King killer big wheeler cap peeler, yeah. That's what they call me around this mutha fucka. I run this bitch. I got this bitch locked down. I'm a big gang banga, man. I'm a gang banga mutha fucka. See, they ain't think that we was gang bangin' out in this neighborhood, but they don't know about me and my clique, dawg. And if you all wanna be down, shit, we can sit down and talk, ya know what I'm sayin-" "BOBBY!!! GET YOUR ASS IN HERE RIGHT NOW AND FINISH YOUR HOMEWORK!" "Uh, here I come! Aw dawg, I gotta go, man. But look, meet me here tomorrow after school. Oh wait, I got yearbook. Awright, meet me here around five-thirty tomorrow, dawg. Awright guys, peace." "I hope he doesn't get grounded, dude." "Yeah, me too, 'cause then we couldn't be gang bangers."
Southwest Voodoo
(vocal ad lib) Voodoo, runnin' from my magic. (chorus:) Ray kay shay, Shooga-booga ba, Southwest Voodoo's in the haugh! Wicked voodoo doped up killa! Magic, dark magic, yo. (end chorus) Met this kid named Louie Lou, He thought he could fuck with this voodoo. So I turned his head into a lima bean, And then flicked it off his shoulders……ping! From Mookan House to Shangra La, Egyptian Pharohs, kumpa-ta. Follow me, and join us as we pray, To the seventeen moons of Kunga Delray. Walked in the luchroom chantin' spells, With bamboo bitches and voodoo bells, Got my own food, who wants some? I got possum nipples and raccoon tongue. A non-believer once started to laugh, So I launched a fireball up his punk-ass! Then everybody heard him squeal, "This voodoo shit's for real!" It just takes: (pre-chorus:) A head from a newt, a wing from a bat, A tongue from a snake, a tail from a rat, A neck from a chicken, an eye from a crow, And a little itty-bitty itty drip of faygo! (end pre-chorus) (chorus) (chorus) Gripped out fauna on a windy night, Ya see voodoo scribblins in the moonlight, Painted all on the city street, It's the ancient craft of gang-bangin'! Hey! J! What's in the bag? A shrunken head, and shrivled scrotum sac! Why? Ya think voodoo's fake? Come to the graveyard, I'll make the dead wake. Raise, raise, shooga-boom ba. Sleep no longer, raise, quick! Raise, raise, shooga-boom ba, "Leave us alone, you fuckin' punk bitch!" Well, fuck it, I ain't that done yet, But one day you can bet I'm a freak! (w/echo) We'll make the whole world dance with the dead, And just like my homey said, it only takes, (pre-chorus) (chorus) (chorus) Voodoo, runnin' from my magic, Voodoo, runnin' from my magic, Voodoo, runnin' from my magic, I'll make a voodoo doll of ya, and fling ya nuts! (pre-chorus) (pre-chorus) (chorus) (chorus)(w/vocal as lib) "And now, the flying Fritz brothers……" "Ooooooo……" "Ahhhhhh……" "Ohhhhhh……" "Uh!Ah!Ahhhhhhh!!!!!!" Splat.
Halls of Illusions
Ticket please, thanks, walk through the doors, Into the Halls of Illusion and visit yours, To see what could've, and should've, and would've been real, But you had to fuck up the whole deal. Let's take a walk down the hallway, It's a long way, it takes all day, And when we get to the end, ya find a chair, With straps and chains, we slap you in there! Lock you down tight, so you can't move a thread, And, pull your eyelids up over your head! Cuz you're about to witness an Illusionary dream, It's just too bad it ain't worth seeing. You walk in and see two kids on the floor, They're playin' nintendo, and he's got the high score, And sittin behind them, chillin' in the chair, Is your wife, and you look, oh, you ain't there! It's some other man, and they're hand in hand, How she looks so happy, ya don't understand, See, this isn't a notion, it never came true… All because of you! Back to reality and what you're about, Your wife can't smile, cuz you knocked her teeth out! And she can't see straight from gettin' hit, Cuz you're a fat fuckin' drunk piece of shit! But it's all good, here, come have a beer, I'll break the top off and, and shove it in your ear! And your death comes wicked, painful, and slow… At the hands of Milenko! (chorus:) Great Milenko, wave your wand! (Don't look now, your life is gone) This is all because of you! (What you got yourself into) (end chorus) (chorus) Look who's next, it's Mr. Clark, The dirty old man from the trailer park. Ya got your ticket? Thanks, take your coat off, And later on, why not? I'll rip your throat off. Let's take a walk down the hallway, It's a long way, it takes all day, And when ya get to the end, ya find a chair, Ya see all the blood? Yeah, ya boy was just here! We get all different kind of people comin' through, Richies, chickens, and bitches just like you! In the halls, everybody gets a turn, To sit and witness your illusion before ya burn! What do we have here? Oh dear! No way! It looks like ya kids' in the O.K.! Ya daughter's chillin' up in college, top grades, And your son's a fuckin' doctor, fat pay! They got family, the kids, and it's all good! They even coach little league in the neighborhood! Is this true? Have ya really seen the holy ghost? Naw, bitch! Not even close! Back to reality, your son's on crack! And your daughter's got nut stains on her back! And they both fuckin' smell like shit, And live in the gutter, And sell crack to each other. When they were kids, you'd beat 'em and leave 'em home! And even whip 'em with the cord of the telephone! And that reminds me man, hey you got a call! Watch your step to hell, in the hallway. (chorus) (chorus) It's time to pack up and move to the next town. But we forgot Mr. Bigot, Okay, dig it, We can't show ya an illusion, cuz we're all packed, bye! I'll still cut your neck out! How's that? (chorus) (chorus) (chorus) (chorus)
Under the Moon
I'm still here..under the moon. I was just a child but you seemed like so much more. The way you would approach me and drift across the floor, I'd see you in the hall and you'd kiss me with a smile. I never understood it was I even worth your while? The other kids at school they would hate me and they'd spit. Cuz I was just a no one to them I wasn't shit. But you would always hold me and stand there by my side, We were only 17 we'd be together till we died. But then it all happened the ever dreadful day. Somebody tried to rape you and now I'll make him pay. You pointed him out to me- my thoughts began to race. I took my daddy's 45 and shot him in the fuckin' face! I did it all for you and though I'm facin' years I would do the time just to equal all your tears The last thing that you told me when I left the courtroom Is that we'd always be together... cuz we're both under the moon. "I'll forever love you even in your doom, we'll always be together cuz we're both under the moon" I sit here in my cell and the walls are made of stone I justified your pain but now I sit alone I write another letter I write one everyday I never got a letter back I write em anyway I try to call collect- your number has been changed I'm starin at the light bulb and I start to feel deranged You never came to visit me I sit facin tha glass No-one's on tha other side and now its in tha past My head is always spinnin I'm poundin' on the wall I feel like I'm forgotten no sign of you at all You're probably gettin' married you're probably gettin fucked I'll break out of this cage and try to cut that muthafucka up I curl up in the corner my body will corrode, My teeth are turning into dust skin is growing mold I'm starin' out tha window of my eternal doom I know that you are out there... somewhere underneath the moon. "i'll forever love you even in your doom we'll always be together cuz we're both under the moon" Many many years many more to go duz she still remember? God he only knows I now become a savage they chain me to a wall I still can see your body I still can hear ya call I'm nothin but a maggot I'm locked away and lost the world that duzn't want me my dignity is tossed and to tha girl for who I feel this doom look here...fxck you and the moon!
What is a Juggalo?
(vocal ad lib) What is a juggalo? Lemme think for a second. (well?) Oh, he gets butt naked. And then he walks through the street winkin' at freaks, Wit a two-liter stuck in his butt-cheeks! What is a juggalo? He just don't care. He might try to put a weave in his nut hair. Cuz he could give a fuck less what a bitch thinks, He tell her that her butt stinks, and all that, What is a juggalo? He drinks like a fish, And then he starts huggin' people like a drunk bitch, Next thing he's pickin' fights with his best friends, Then he starts with the huggin' again, fuck, What is a juggalo? A fuckin' lunatic. Somebody with a rope tied to his dick, Then he jumps out a ten-story window………oh! (chorus:) What is a juggalo? A juggalo? If that's what it is, well fuck if I know. What is a juggalo? I don't know, but I'm down with the clown, and I'm down for life, yo. (end chorus) (chorus) (vocal breakdown) What is a juggalo? A dead body. Well he ain't really dead, but he ain't like anybody That you've ever met before. He'll eat Monopoly and shit out Connect Four. What is a jug- What the fuck? Connec-man, that shit's wack. Don't worry 'bout my shit, just rap, mutha fucker. What is a juggalo? He ain't a bitch boy. He'll walk through to the hills and beat down a rich boy. Walks right in the house where ya havin' supper, And dip his nuts in ya soup……bloop! What is a juggalo? Well he ain't a phoney. He'll walk up and bust a nut in your macaroni. And watch you sit there and finish up the last bit, Cuz you're a stupid-ass dumb fuckin' idiot. What is a juggalo? He's a graduate. He graduated from…………well, At least he's got a job, he's not a dumb putz, He works for himself scratchin' his nuts, Ha! What is a juggalo? A hulkamaniac. He powerbombs mutha fuckas into thumbtacks. (Bwa!) People like him till they find out he's unstable. He sabooed ya mama through a coffee table. (Oh my god!) (chorus) (vocal breakdown) (chorus) (chorus) (vocal breakdown) What is a juggalo?
House of Horrors
"Hey there, do ya like excitement?" "Yeah." "Do ya like suspense?" "Uh-huh." "Do you like Nel Carter?" "Tst-no." "Good, cuz you won't find her here, this is the house of horrors. And for you it's absolutely free, step right in." "Thanks." "Say no more stupid-ass, your flesh says enough." Hello? It's so dark. Don't lose me. C'mon, I found a door… Wabugawoo, Waaa! Welcome to the house of horrors, Ya born in a barn, shut the fuckin' door. Ya see, bam, cuz I'm about to scare ya… Bbbblblblblbl, okay now I dare ya Close ya eyes, open up ya mouth, and count to ten, Don't wanna, huh? Cuz ya know my nuts are goin' in, I'm twisted, I'll cut ya finger off, and stick it in ya butt… Ooouuuuhhhhh…and glue it shut. This is when I get get crazy, lemme show ya somethin', Bbbbbbb! Ya know what that means? It don't mean nothin', ha-ha! But it scared ya, cuz people don't be doin' that shit, But me, bbbbbbbb, bitch, bbbbb, now what about it? (Bbbbbbbbb) Guess what, I'm a serial killer, it's a bad habit, I killed Tony, Lucky Charms, and the silly rabbit, Uh! Cut the lights off, see that shit, I'm glowin' Allright, I'm done, cut 'em back on, wait, where ya goin'? Welcome to the House of Horrors! (Chorus:) Comes from within me, me, me. Comes from within me, horrors, hey. Comes from within me, me, me. Come to the House of Horrors, hey. (end chorus) (chorus) Honey, I'm not haning a good time. I know, C'mon, This must be the way out. Hey, what the fuck, come in guys, grab a chair, Don't mind me drinkin' my beer in my underwear. C'mon, let's play some cardback, I just gotta cary, "Hey, keep it down in there, Shaggs, what the hell?" Sorry! Look at that shit!(what?) You almost got me grounded, I'm a have to take your forehead and pound it. I'll bend you over, and tie you up to a pole, And strech your nuts back, and fling 'em up your butthole! I'm a phantom, listen to me, ahhh, That didn't do it? How 'bout this? Ahhhh!!! I'm so scary, they call me Joey Terrifyin', Did ya know that? (yeah) No ya didn't, I was lyin'! I represent Igors, I'm yellin' in town, I'm comin' outta southwest, Wicked Clowns! Bathrooms? Yeah, it's right there, down the hall, Don't flush it though, I'll make dinner for you all, Amuck, naya, baaa, but that's two, Wait a minute, hey, don't leave me yet, hey! Welcome to the House of Horrors! (chorus) (chorus) Honey? What? I'm s-scared. I know, sweetie, come on! (vocal interlude w/laughs) Jump Steady, Nate the Mack, lemme tell ya somethin', Wit Billy Bill and Rude Boy, (what about 'em?) Nothin'! They're my boys, I just had to give 'em props, And together we form the cyclops! He-he-he-he-he look at you, he-he, you're a bitch. Should I let you're ass go? Ha-ha-ha-ha, no. I'll let your bitch out, but you get the bone, Run along sugar-tits, he ain't comin home. "Dont let the door hit you where the good lord split ya……bitch."
Neden Game
VOICE OF HOST: LETS MEET CONTESTANT NUMBER ONE hes a skitzophranic serial killa klown who says women love his sexy smile lets see if his charm will work on Sharon Sharon, whats your question for Number 1? Sharon: Number 1, i belive first impressions last forever if u were to eat dinner with me and my family, how would you make it last forever? hmm well lets see id have to think about it i might show up in a tux HA! but i doubt it id probably just show up naked like i always do and lick your mama in the eye and tell her FUCK YOU! hurry up bitch im hungry i smell spaghetti, i pinch her loopy ass and tell her get the food ready your dad would probably start trippin, and get me pissed, id have to walk up and bust him in the fuckin lips! its dinnertime! were hearin grace from your mother i pull a forty out and pour some for your little brother im steady starin at your sister, ill tell ya this, ya know for only 13 SHE GOT SOME BIG TITS! after that, your dad would try to jump again, but only this time id put the 40 to his chin after your mom dies the dishes and the silverware, id dry fuck her till i nut in my underwear ~~~applause~~~ HOST: now lets meet contestant number 2 hes a psychopathic deranged crack head freak who works for the dark carnival he says women call him stretch nutz Sharon, lets hear your question... >SHARON: i like a man whos not afraid to show his true emotion a mna who expresses himself in his own special way number 2, if u were to fall in love with me, how would you show me that you care? first thing, i could never love you, you sound like a witchy bitch yo FUCK YOU!! but if i did, id probably show you that i care by takin all these mutha fuckas outta here id go through your phone book, and whack em all, then find contestant number one and break his fuckin jaw WHAT!!?? anyone that looked at you would have to pay, id be blowin fuckin nuggets off all day id grab your titties, and stretch em down past your waist, let em go and watch em both spring up in your face id sing love songs to ya the best i can get ya naked and hit it like a CAVE MAN!! we go to tha beach and walk through the sand i throw a little in your face and say im just playin as you spit it all out, i rub your back, and grab your underwear and WEDGE IT UP YOUR ASS CRACK!! ~~~laughter and applause~~~ HOST: well it sounds like contestant number 2 is just overflowing with sensitivity, Sharon its a tough choice so far, sharon lets have your last question to find out whos gonna have the rights to your neden SHARON: ok, if we were at a dance club, and you both noticed me at the same time, tell me, how would you each get my attention and what would your pick up line be who ever'sthe smoothest wins!! first, id slide up the bar, and tell ya that i cant believe how fuckin fat you are id say i like the way you make your titties shake, and if you lost a little weight you'd look like Ricki Lake FUCK THAT!! youd be jackin me quick, id order you a drink , and stir it with my dick, and then to get your attention in a crowded place, id simply walk up and stick my nutz in your face yeah freak her with yo nutz that'll get her TELL HER THAT SHES FAT, YEAH THAT'LL WORK EVEN BETTER look, fuck you, i got a strong rap shit you dont want contestant number two hes mad whack i walked in a barn, and there he was, standin up on a bucket Hooough tryin to fuck it it was big fuckin smelley ass farm llama DAMN DAWG!! how ya gonna diss your mama?? ~~~champagne popping and laughing~~~
Hallalujah
"Give God the first portion of your income, say that with me." "Give God the first portion of your income." "Give it first! Not after the deducts. Not after the social security, and the hospitalization, and the malnutrition. Not after all these things on ya check, ya say 'I'm a give God a little what's left.' You do, and that's what you gonna get from God." Who am I? I'm not the Devil, I can take you to my level, Above the rocks, above the earth, Tell me what your soul is worth. How much money do you make? How much will you let me take? I will give you tranquility, Just send you wealth and checks to me. Life is going to expire, And your soul will burn in fire. You will perish in the thunder, Unless you call my hotline number. God has asked you to make me rich, Me and my fat-rat gaudy bitch. On your T.V.'s late at night, Send those checks, and I'll guide you to the light. "Don't put away your wallets just yet, brothers and sisters. There's somebody here I'd like all of you to meet. This is little Jonathan. Jonathan, say hello to the lovely people." "Hello." "Jonathan has problems. Twisted neck, tangled legs, crooked spine, but we can heal this boy! For just, uh, six thousand dollars, we can heal this boy!" God called me and then stopped by, And he told me you're gonna die, Unless you buy my holy water, Check, cash, or a money order. This is true, don't question me, I'll even send you shit for free. It's only ten buck for the call, And I'll send a prayer, no charge at all. Put your lips up to the screen, Close your eyelids, and intervene, Your lips to mine, now send the cash, And while you're there, you can kiss my ass. Take your paycheck, and send me half, And I'll send you God's autograph. I'll get you Allah's, and Bhuddah's too, Even Zeus, I dont give a fuck who, Just send me that money. "Would you like to be healed, little Jonathan?" "Yeah, Reverend." "You see, brothers and sisters, this-" Beep-beep! Beep-beep! "Excuse me. I told you never to page me on a sermon day. Yes? Uh-huh. Hallelujah. Howdy. People, that was the lord, today only, he will heal this boy, for just five thousand dollars!" Pass the collection plate… Pass the collection plate… Pass the collection plate… Pass the collection plate… (Show me how you give, I'll tell you how to live.) Your total's twenty-two eleven, For your set of keys to heaven. Make the checks out in my name, Me or God it's all the same. Bring your crippled ass to me, Pay my usher the holy fee. I'll bless your legs, and bless your chair, Then wheel your bitch ass outta here. Now a special ceremony, This part don't cost any money. Drip a drop of blessed water, Now I fertalize your daughter. Even though I fucked a hooker, Took your baby girl and shook her, You still buy everything I sell, And I'm livin' well… See you in hell. "Four-thousand eight-hundred, nine-hundred, five thousan-Hallelujah! You did it, brothers and sisters! Are you ready, Jonathan? Lord almighty, we've met your price, give me the healing power, I can feel it! Lord! Rumilumilamanamanumi! This boy is healed!" "Huh?" "Now, to the naked eye, it would appear that this boy has not been healed, but I can assure you, this boy's spirit has been healed! Inside this tangled, mangled frame is a healed little boy. His spirit is healed! Hallelujah!" "Country Cookin', can I take your order?" "You want the red-eye gravy with that?" "With chitlins or black-eyed peas?" "Lemme cypher up your bill, here." "That comes to fourteen nintey-five." "Okay, be ready quicker that two jiggles of a jackrabbit's ass."
Down With The Clown "This one goes out to the ninjas that's been down since Carnival of Carnage. Naw, fuck that. Since Dog Beats. Naw fuck that, since Basement Cuts, mutha fucka!" How long will the juggalos be down wit' me? How long till they forget me? Check it out, What if I grew another fuckin' head? And his name was Violent…Ed? And he headbutt me every time I cussed? I would need two microphones when I bust. Would you show me love, even with another head? Or would you be like, "Fuck you and Ed!" Or, what if I sold out like a bitch? And took the makeup off and went soft? Call myself Detroit southwest lover? And put my ugly-ass face on the album cover? Went R&B top ten hit, And we had Jodecie singin' all over our shit? Fuck that though, yo, I'm a juggalo, So don't forget me like ya did with Minuto. (chorus:) What about when the world's like fuckas, killas? What will ya be? - Down What about when I'm a hundred and three? What will ya be? - Down, down What about when the world's like fuckas, killas? What will ya be? - Down What about when the carnival comes to ya town? I'm a be down wit the clown! (end chorus) How long will ya be down with a ghetto puppet? I say I'm sick in the nugget, and ya love it! I ate a dead body, I ain't proud of it, I told you all about it, and you all applaud it! (yay!) I got problems, I'm haunted by a carnival, I could run and tell a doctor, but what for? I just put it on tape wit' a phat beat, And make a quick buck, I'm like, fuck! (hoo hoo) I could've came out sportin' some hammer pants, Kick steppin' with Shaggs, and try to dance, Make ya mom happy, keepin' it soft, I'd rather grab my dick and tell your mom to fuck off! I know then you'd probably start to trip, And swing at me, but hit Violent Ed in the lip, Look, I don't even know what I'm tryin' ta say, Just don't forget me like ya did with Rahbay. (chorus) (chorus 2:) I'm a be down, I'm a be down, Down with the clown till I'm dead in the ground. (end chorus 2) (chorus 2) (chorus 2) (chorus 2) (chorus 2) (chorus 2) (chorus 2) (chorus 2) (chorus 2) (chorus 2) (chorus 2) (chorus 2) Rrrriiinnnggg. "Hello?" "Somebody page me?" "Hi…" "Who the fuck is this?!" "It-it's me, you said I could page you-" "No, no. You misunderstood me. I said fuck you! Nobody cares if you're dead or alive, so go fuck yourself!" Click. "Okay, call me later."
Just Like That
Jump outta bed, and I head for the grapenuts, Eat 'em quick, or they soggy, and that sucks, Try to find a clean pair of socks, and a shirt, Still sport the same drawers, even though they hurt. In the fridge there's a faygo, it tastes ill, Cuz it's fatter that a bitch on a big wheel! I got a few moneybacks, and a little change, So I'm headed to the store, when the phone rings: "What up, man check it out, I know this bitch, She gots another friend with her, and her dad's rich, If we find us a ride up to Rynethat, Garunteed, we can fuck 'em both on the spot!" Oh shit, lemme call Bill-Bill, I wanna go and let my nuts do the windmill, He ain't home, fuck, I'll call Mike Clark, Cuz I know he can get the fuckin' Skylark, He said he can, but he's broke, and it needs gas, But I wanna buy this faygo - think fast! I know my brother Jump Steady's got a few bones, But that's goin' through his shit when he ain't home! "Nevermind, J, Legs loned me a ten, No need to get punched in ya head again, Tell Mike to scoop me up right away, And then faygos and nuttin' hoes all day!" Fuck yeah, throw my pro wings on my feet, Lock the house, and wait for 'em in the street, I wish I had a piece of gum, or somethin', fuck, My mouth still kinda tastes like grape nuts. Here they come, nope, it wasn't them, Seems like the same cars drivin' by again, It pulls up…… "Hey, man, you're in luck…" "W-what'd you say, man?" BOOM. ………fuck.
Pass Me By
"Does this excite you? Think about it! Does it not stagger the imagination? No builder on earth can concieve any structure to compare to the mansions above. Won't that be something when you go to live in your own mansion? There'll be no concern about paying for it, it's already taken care of. There'll be no worry about veing moved out of it. It will be yours forever." I got shot, Baa! The murder was heinous. The bullet went in my eyeball and out my anus. And I was hit, that was it, on the spot, Flash, I woke up in a parking lot. And I'm sittin in a '64 Rinekeys, With Shaggy Dope written on the car keys. I look around I can't believe that it's possible, I'm dead, and I made it to the carnival. I walk in, it's everything I dreamed of, Everybody and they mama got clownlove. Japanese, Lebenese, and Chinese, Portuguese, and southwest ghetto cheese. (hoo hoo) Hangin' out with redneck truck drivers, Instead of always givin' each other piledrivers. I see my old homey, he died in a drag, Chillin with two bitches, "What up, Shag?" And he passed me a blunt like a tree trunk, I tried to hit it, but couldn't even fuck with it. And to think, I always been afraid to die, But I ain't never goin back, to wonder why. (Chorus:) We all gonna die. But I'm not gonna fry. Even though most never try, I'm not gonna let this pass me by, no. (end chorus) (chorus) I was born. First they threw me in a shitpile. I dealt with it, and lived there for a while. I got dissed on, pissed on, and beat down, Mutilated, and tossed out a dead clown. Next thing ya know, I'm chillin' at the big top, Free money, and mad bitched non-stop. No water, it's faygo on tap, I wash my hair, and my face, and my butt-crack wit' it, Cuz I can, cuz I'm fat paid, I got a five story funhouse with a maid, And she walks 'round wit' her titties hangin' out, And when I cough, she come and dust my balls off. (hoo hoo) I'm headed up to the show, I'm gonna see, Jimi Hendrix, Selena, and Easy E, Elvis tried to open up but got dissed off, We got pissed off, because he sounded like butt, There's no fights, it's a perfect match, Hillbillies in the crowd tryin' ta cabbage patch, And ta think, I've always been afraid to die, But I ain't never goin back, to wonder why (chorus) (chorus) (intro bit) Did ya ever burn your finger on somethin', hey, Well picture this, ya nuts burnin' that way. And a roman candle stickin' in ya butthole, That's where the greedy stank mutha fuckas go. This is all hell now, we livin' in it, But this bullshit'll be over in a minute, Then it's off to the faygos and in hoes, New clothes, and patent leather for your toes. (hoo hoo) And while ya sit around cryin' for ya dead friend, He's chillin' up there, hey, gettin' mad ends. He's probably there tryin' ta figure out why you're sad, He's on the beach gettin' fat, you got it bad. And for those who ain't down for the next man, Who rob from the poor, and snatch all ya can, And any chicken talkin' shit, lemme tell ya somthin', Hold a lighter to your balls, and you'll see what's comin'. (chorus) (chorus) (intro bit) (chorus) (chorus) (chorus)(w/vocal ad lib) (chorus)(w/vocal ad lib) (break) (chorus)(w/vocal ad lib) (chorus)(w/vocal ad lib) (chorus)(w/vocal ad lib) (chorus)(w/vocal ad lib) (chorus out) Skinnypimp's ICP Lyrics Page! Skinnypimp's ICP Home Page! Skinnypimp's Palace Home Page