History of the IBA
Written by Vinay and Vikash
With help from John's Memory
Rohit was just there. Hood ornament.
1986. New York. The subtle beginnings of the IBA. Two lonely studs meet at an Indian Function, little did they know that they would meet again in suburban Seattle…
1991. Seattle. At a large Diwali function, two kids meet and immediately strike up a friendship. These kids later met up with another friend. They had no idea what these small friendships would become. Later that year, at the Seattle Cultural Gujarati Society’s Garba dance, Vikash and Vinay, the two studs from New York, and John, Nimesh, and Ohm, the three kids from Seattle, met while constructing paper airplanes and flying them out. They found out that they had a lot in common, so their friendship hit it off right away. These five kids were the original IBA 5 otherwise known as the FAB 5, although the name had not been coined then.
1992-94. Many things happened, but hell, even John can’t remember EVERYTHING.
1995. Go Mariners. The amazing comeback season. "Refuse to Lose." John and Vikash were kickin’ it at the infamous dinner parties we met each other at every week. But this was like no other, all the uncles surrounded the TV, cheering loudly while Vikash and John were so close they were almost hugging it. "4-3 Yankees. Martinez lines to left for a double. Cora sprints home. 4-4 tied. Wait a minute. What’s this? Griffey is flying around the bases. He’s going home. He could…go…all…the…way…HE SCORES!!! MARINERS WIN!!! MARINERS WIN!!!" This will be a memorable moment in sports history which Vikash and John will NEVER forget!
1996. IBA finally hits puberty. Girls are now a big issue in the lives of the guyz. We have many "disks" of which the contents will never be revealed. These disks are still stored in Vikash’s double security titanium vault located at the bottom of his Monopoly set. This is how the IBA got hooked on the Internet. This is where we realized the difference between the anatomy of boys and girls. Also at this same time, Vikash and Ohm coincidentally started sprouting hair like crazy all over their bodies. And we mean ALL over.
1997. The IBA met many times over this year. They grew together and felt love towards each other both physically and mentally. They had many brotherly hugs. They seem like the Pandava Brothers. Those who do not know who the Pandavas are, then log off this site. In fact, each of these original five brothers portray a certain one of the Pandava brothers: Vikash portrays Bhima; Nimesh portrays Udhistira; Vinay portrays Arjun; John and Ohm portray Nakula and Sahadev. Later that year, July 27-28 to be exact (thank you John), Ohm held a sleepover. This was the first major sleepover for the IBA. This sleepover triggered a chain reaction of many sleepovers. Vinay had given Ohm a game called "Last Chance", a game of dice and gambling, and the IBA played that game all night, keeping Ohm’s mom up. Later, at the SGCS Garba, the five IBA brothers met two kids named Rohit, the only Panjabi member of the IBA, and Anish. They were "cool" enough for the brothers so they were inducted into the IBA. The IBA is now IBA 7, although the name STILL hasn’t been invented yet. In December, Vikash held a sleepover. We did three things. Risk, Monopoly, and "Internet" (hint, hint. DISK).Vikash is undefeated to this day in Risk and Monopoly. At this sleepover, the IBA became closer than it has ever been. We revealed "secrets" to each other and acted like real brothers, pledging to make this bond last an entire lifetime. The brothers had an awesome time and knew there were many more sleepovers to come.
1998. Mid winter break. Nimesh held a sleepover. We decided to rent a movie. When we reached Blockbuster, we found a movie called "Feeders." This movie was picked by Nimesh and Vikash. We all agreed that it was the most fucked up movie we have ever seen. But you gotta rent it to find out. Summer. John had planned a sleepover for three months, and who would have known it would have all worked out. Well, it did and it was tight. This was the Goldeneye 007 era. Vikash disliked it with a passion, although he still played it because that’s all everybody else would do. Vikash had some kind of illness, and one of the symptoms was extreme diarrhea. Even though he was advised not to eat cheese products, he ate eight slices of pizza ("They were small!" claims Vikash). He was shitting like a mofo on wheels. Vikash used up four rolls of toilet paper. That’s somewhat of John’s memory of this event. In the summer of this year, a big event took place. Most of the IBA was gathered at Vikash’s house. Vikash decided that we needed a collective name for all of us. He debated with himself and finally came up with…IBA, Indian Brothers Association. He became the self-proclaimed president, and Vinay became webmaster for the IBA website, which wasn’t put up till 1999.
1999. The greatest year for IBA. We held the First IBA Camping Trip. It was held on Memorial Day Weekend. It was a time in the life of the IBA that no one will ever forget! Nimesh drove Vinay, Vikash, John, and Anish to the campsite, Burlington KOA. We all had so much fun. Vinay was a pyromaniac. He went crazy with the lighter fluid (almost burned down the forest). Anish was our cook. He is a great chef. We went to Deception Pass and walked the trail down to the water. The next day, we went to Baker Lake. We rented a boat (boaters?). Vinay took over the controls. He was a crazy ass mofo. He broke so many rules. We almost got in an accident, but Vinay’s Brahmin luck pulled through. The boat only held four, so one person had to switch on after a while. Vikash was going to leave so that Anish could board. Vinay pulled close to the shore, but he miscalculated (he left his TI-89 in the car) and when Vikash tried to get out, he tripped and got his feet soaked to the bone. Anyway, Sunday night, Vinay left his clothes outside so that he would not wake everybody up when he went to take a shower. Well, it rained like hell Sunday night, and by Monday morning, his clothes, not to mention the tent and everything else, including everybody’s shoes, were drenched. We hurriedly packed everything up into Nimesh’s van and left all wet and cold. It was a great experience for IBA. In the summer, Ohm held another sleepover (John says July 22). We played Last Chance again. Anish was in a slight relationship with a girl from Wisconsin. He called his "true love" from boon dawg central. Stupid Bitch! Then Vikash, Rohit and Ohm decided to buy sunglasses to be "hip," were we hip. NOOOOOOO. But we thought we were. The sunglasses ended up breaking and we got accused of stealing them. US..STEALING?..NO WAY! Those stupid Russians didn’t know what the heck was going on. We don’t wanna tell you in description about the "freak nasty" central things we did at Ohm’s but all we have to say is Anish is well equipped. Who said people with big feet…OH NEVERMIND, we’re going wayyyyy too far. Use your imagination! OMG! My favorite song is on…Real Slim Shady. OK anywayz back to our stories. Nimesh was a crazy driver. So he drove Vikash’s gangsta G 240SX and took that baby up to a 115. Were we scared YES. Is Nimesh crazy YES! Could V's car have blown up YES. But was it the start of crazy driving in the IBA text book. HELL YES. Certain people like "Purvie" think we’re stupid for driving fast, but that’s the IBA’s way of showing whose man and whose not. We don’t drink, we don’t get high, and HEY WE DON’T EVEN GET LAID! So to show whose man and whose not, we drive Fast. Yes Purvie, that’s probably the best answer we can give you for our "high velocities" – Vinay came up with that. While on the subject of bad drivers, Vinay got a stellar 81, this is a guy who got 1430 on his SATs and got a 81 on his test, shows how he’s smart he is. Vikash got a 92 and he thinks he is the craziest driver. John. Damn he’s just crazy. Vinay and John. Craziest drivers of all time. Ohm he’s all talk, but that guy wont go above 59.6 on the freeway. OK I know you’re getting bored with this, but we have to physically write down all our memories so when we’re old and senile we can remember how cool we once were. On another note, Vinay held his first IBA sleepover during winter break. Vikash, John, Nimesh, Anish, and Ohm spent the night, and Purvie and Trupa came during the day. We had many misadventures. We had decided to go to the Supermall in Vinay’s and Vikash’s cars. At the gas station, we saw a battery for Trupa’s cluncker. It was mad up the schizzang bijizzang. On the way, Vinay almost rear-ended Vikash. He came within 2 inches of Vikash’s car’s azz. After that, the two cars got separated. Hooray for cell phones. That device got us back together. Anyway, we made it to the mall in one piece. The mall sucked shit. It isn’t a very interesting mall. The sleepover was pretty cool, with the exception of the girls. When the girls were leaving, Purvie came downstairs to say a last goodbye, and she saw all six of us in a big group hug. IBA is so close. We’re like natural brothers. OK now comes Anish’s infamous New Years party. At this wonderful party, we went completely ballistic. We watched New Year’s ringin in all across the world. India had a great celebration. INDIA!!! Well, anyway, the party was off da’ hook. We stopped by Vikash’s house and picked up his tequila. We drank it by itself and in guava juice. Spiked guava juice is a hella good drink. Vinay is the only one that thinks that tequila smells good. Everyone else thinks it stinks. Getting to the point, when the clock struck 12…
2000!! We jumped up and down, screamed, hugged, and celebrated the new Millennium. It was da’ bomb. IBA in the new millennium. Brothers forever. Many other things happened in 2000. In May, Vikash met a new kid named Sahil. At the Garba in June, Vikash introduced Sahil to the other brothers. We decided to induct him into IBA. There are now eight members in the IBA. In the summer, John held a sleepover, not much happened, but it was iite!! One day, Vinay, John, and Nimesh went to a Mariners game. It was cool, the Mariners won, and Vinay ALMOST caught a ball, but the dumbass behind us got it. After the game, we were stuck in the parking garage, and we were blasting "Thug Luv". People were giving us weird looks and honking, like "what the hell are these niggaz doing." Later that year, Garba rolled around. Man, the first day of Garba was soooo ghetto. There was an Indian Concert that day, so less than 50 people showed up at Garba. Out of the IBA, Vinay, Vikash, and Ohm went. Vikash kept saying that the Garba was "Off da’ hook," even though it sucked. The next two Garbas went pretty smoothly. At least we had a full attendance. Well, the last day of Garba was rippa tight (Kash Money). The IBA members looked like studs (don’t we alwayz?). The desi chicks were looking great. Vinay brought his ghetto ass digital camera. Click here to see the pictures. Now that Garba was off da’ hook, Vikash. Some bros say that was the best Garba ever! Later, IAWW held a Diwali Program. Vinay danced a bhangra for it. He really got his bulle bulle on. It was hella tight. Vikash and Ohm gave Vinay a standing ovation. On another note, Vinay, Vikash, John, and Rohit got together at V-man’s house on October 28. At V’s, we chilled, watched TV, talked about "people" and ate pizza all night long. Afterwards, Vinay and John dropped Rohit home, and went to John’s house. On the way to John’s, Vinay, in his Jeep Grand Cherokee, and John, in his Toyota Corolla, raced at speeds over 100 mph. It was hella intense. At the very end, Vinay pulled in the lead with his tight acceleration, but John came in a close second. Vinay then stated that he needed gas. On the way to the gas station, John took a different route than Vinay. Vinay was in the lead, but John accelerated down a hill while Vinay just started going up a hill. John zipped around Vinay at speeds of over 80mph in a 30mph speed zone on the WRONG SIDE OF THE ROAD. He whipped around Vinay and pulled ahead to win the race. Tight ass move, John. It should have been video taped. John’s got guts for that move. And later, around 1 a.m., Vinay and John cruised around John’s neighborhood, breaking every frikkin law known to man. Vinay went 25mph over a 15mph speed bump, and of course John can’t or his car would have gotten hella messed up. All we gotta say is this was the most CRAZY ASS race between any two IBA brothers. We just wish that all the IBA members were there to experience the thrill. What a night!!! IT WAS THE ULTIMATE RACE!!!!!!!!!!
TO BE CONTINUED...
