Rednecks
There was a redneck father and son who were always in competition with each other. One day the son left to take an entrance exam at a university. He wanted to major in medicine. A week later he returned from his trip looking very down in the dumps. "How was the exam?" asked his father. "They asked quite a lot of 'fill in the missing letter' questions about first aid and stuff. I got a score of 75%. It wasn't good enough to get accepted," the boy replied.
"Well in that case I better take that exam myself," the father said. So off to the university he went. A week later the father returned from his trip looking very down in the dumps. "How was the exam?" asked his son. "They asked quite a lot of 'fill in the missing letter' questions about first aid and I got 'em all wrong but one." "Gee, Dad. Which question was that?"
"The question was," started the father, "What do you do when you come across a lady who has fainted. You feel her pu_s_?" "That's easy", the son replied. "The answer is pulse." "Oh, hell," said the father, " I got that one wrong as well."
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Technology for Country Folk...
1. LOG ON: Makin a wood stove hotter.
2. LOG OFF: Don't add no more wood.
3. MONITOR: Keepin an eye on the wood stove.
4. DOWNLOAD: Gettin the farwood off the truk.
5. MEGA HERTZ: When yer not kerful gettin the farwood.
6. FLOPPY DISC: Whatcha git from tryin to carry too much farwood.
7. RAM: That thar thing whut splits the farwood.
8. HARD DRIVE: Gettin home in the winter time.
9. PROMPT: Whut the mail ain't in the winter time.
10. WINDOWS: Whut to shut wen it's cold outside.
11. SCREEN: Whut to shut wen it's blak fly season.
12. BYTE: Whut them dang flys do.
13. CHIP: Munchies fer the TV.
14. MICRO CHIP: Whut's in the bottom of the munchie bag.
15. MODEM: Whut cha did to the hay fields.
16. DOT MATRIX: Old Dan Matrix's wife.
17. LAP TOP: Whar the kitty sleeps.
18. KEYBOARD: Whar ya hang the dang keys.
19. SOFTWARE: Them dang plastic forks and knifs.
20. MOUSE: Whut eats the grain in the barn.
21. MAINFRAME: Holds up the barn roof.
22. PORT: Fancy Flatlander wine
23. ENTER: Northerner talk fer "C'mon in y'all"
24. RANDOM ACCESS MEMORY: Wen ya cain't 'member whut ya paid fer the rifle when yore wife asks.
25. MOUSE PAD: That hippie talk fer the rat hole.
