The Atlanta School Board, seeing what Oakland had done to cash into the seemingly endless taxpayer dollar pipeline through Washington by labeling African American slang as the language "Ebonics", has decided to pursue some of the green themselves by designating Southern slang or "Hickbonics" as a language to be taught in all Southern schools. Anyone proficient in the language woud be a Hickophone. The following are excerpts from the Hickbonics/English dictionary:
HEIDE - noun. Greeting
HIRE YEW - Complete sentence. Remainder of the greeting above. Usage: "Heidi, hire yew?"
BARD - verb. Past tense of the infinitive "to borrow."
Usage: "My brother bard my pickup truck."
JAWJUH - Noun. The state north of Florida. The capitol is Lanner. Usage: "My brother from Jawjuh bard my pickup truck."
BAMMER - Noun. The state west of Jawjuh. Capital is Berminhayum. Usage: "A tornader jes went thru Bammer an leff $20M in improvements."
MUNTS - Noun. A calendar division. Usage: "My brother from Jawjuh bard my pickup truck and I ain't herd from him in munts."
THANK - verb. Ability to cognitively process. Usage: "Ah thank ah'll have a bare (see below)"
BARE - Noun. An alcoholic beverage make from barley, hops and yeast.
IGNERT - adjective. Not smart. (see "Arkansas native") Usage: "Dem Bammer boys sure are ignert!"
RANCH - noun. A tool used for tight'nin bolts. Usage: "I thank I leff my ranch in the back of that pickup truck my brother from Jawjuh bard a few munts ago."
ALL - noun. A petroleum based lubricant. Usage: "I sure hope my brother from Jawjuh puts all in my pickup truck."
FAR - noun. A conflagration. Usage: "If my brother from Jawjuh don't change the all in my pickup truck, that thing's gonna catch on far!"
TAR - noun. A rubber wheel. Usage: "Gee, I hope that brother of mine from Jawjuh don't git a flat tar in my pickup truck."
TIRE - noun. A tall monument. Usage: "Lord willin' and the creek don't rize, I sure do hope to see that Eiffel Tire in Paris sometime".
RETARD - verb. To stop working. Usage: "My gampaw retard at age 65."
FAT - voun, verb. 1. A battle of combat. 2. To engage in battle or combat. Usage: "You younguns keep fat'n ah'm gonna whup y'un."
RATS - noun. Entitled power or privilege. Usgae: "We Southerners are willin' to fat for are rats."
FARN - adjective. Not local. Usage: "I cuddint unnerstand a wurd he sed....Must be from some farn country."
DID - adjective. Not alive. Usage: "He's did, Jim."
EAR - noun. A colorless, odorless gas: Oxygen Usage. "He cain't breathe... give im sum ear."
BOB WAR - noun. A sharp, twisted cable. Usage: "Boy, stay way from the bob war fence!"
JEW HERE - Noun an verb contraction. Usage: "Jew here that my brother from Jawjuh got a job with that bob war fence comp'ny?"
HAZE - contraction Usage: "Is Bubba smart?" "Nah, haze ignert. He ain't thanked but a minnit'n 'is laf."
SEED - Verb. Past tense of "to see".
VIEW - contraction: verb and pronounUsage: "I ain't never seed New York City.....view?"
GUMMIT - noun. A bureaucratic institution. Usage: "Dem gummit boys shore are ignert."
