A Superior Court jury in San Francisco has ordered the
nation's two largest tobacco companies to pay a dying
ex-smoker $20 million in damages. Leslie Whiteley and her
husband sued Philip Morris and R.J. Reynolds on the grounds
that the companies deceived the public about the dangers of
smoking…
… Yeah, that Surgeon General's warning painted such a rosy
picture…
In 1848, a Pennsylvania law decrees that no child under
twelve could engage in commercial labor…
… Guaranteeing that Kathie Lee Gifford would never live in
Pennsylvania…
Jason Priestley pleaded no contest on Tuesday to a
misdemeanor drunken driving charge stemming from a traffic
accident in December and was sentenced to five days in jail.
Priestley -- who was arrested on Dec. 3 after crashing his
Porsche into a power pole, trash cans and a parked car in
Hollywood - will also serve three years probation and enter
a drug or alcohol treatment program…
… He'll be in the Beverly Hills Jail, 90210…
The common roach is one of the most prolific breeders on the
planet. But the male cockroach could well face a new threat:
a ''safe and effective'' method of birth control, developed
exclusively for roaches. Cornell University entomologist
Jeffrey Scott said in a news release; "What we really need
is an effective, nontoxic treatment -- a birth-control
method -- to reduce cockroach populations without bothering
other insects or humans, either.''…
… It's hard enough to catch them, let alone make them sit still for the condom fitting…
A man jumped the White House fence as President Clinton's
motorcade was waiting to take him out Tuesday evening. The
Secret Service said a man jumped the southeast fence of the
White House, near where the motorcade was waiting for the
president. Two heavily armed Secret Service agents,
including one with a large automatic weapon, were seen
patrolling a bushy area near the White House sculpture
garden shortly after the man was reported to have entered
the White House complex….
… Oh - I see - the president can be defended with automatic
weapons, but when somebody climbs MY fence, I can only have
a little pistol with a trigger lock on it? Gee thanks, Bill…
In Arizona, lawyers for a man who admitted stabbing his wife
44 times and drowning her in their swimming pool will argue
this week that he should be acquitted of murder because he
was sleepwalking at the time. Defense lawyers said Scott
Falater, 43, admitted killing his wife and hiding the
evidence, but is not guilty of a crime because he has a
medical disorder.
.... Next time your wife complains about your snoring, tell her there are WORSE sleeping conditions to have.
Brazilian transsexuals are to get free sex changes under new rules that classify the penis-removing operations as experimental, health officials said Wednesday...
....... "Dr. Bobbitt... Paging Dr. Bobbitt...
Buenos Aires psychologist Federico Andahazi's first novel,
about the discovery of the clitoris by a 16th century
Italian doctor, won a prestigious local literary prize last
year, but when the sponsors canceled the award ceremony
rather than honor such a controversial book, "The Anatomist" became a best-seller. According to a New York Times story, many Argentinians hope the book "will generate a new understanding of female sexuality," since male pleasure needs still predominate in that country...
... Plenty of men around the world still haven't discovered it either ...
Student Jaimie Rising of Indiana University of Pennsylvania
filed a sexual harassment lawsuit against Prof. Gordon
Thornton for his behavior in his psychology of death course. According to the lawsuit, Thornton asked in class whether any student had ever kissed a dead person, and Rising said she had kissed her grandfather when he died, an action which Thornton then described aloud as "disgusting and gross." Thornton allegedly continued, asking Rising whether she had "stuck her tongue down her grandfather's throat."...
..... I suppose if she answered 'yes' to that, the next
question would have been, "was Grandpa Rising, rising?"
Even though the case is over, Ken Starr says he’ll remain in his office till June.
It seems by then most of the Republican’s gun permits will expire.
"People Magazaine" is celebrating its 25th anniversary by releasing a list of top selling issues. The "Goodbye, Diana" issue sold 2.992 million copies.
...... Notable also-rans:
*Rosy, Oprah and Roseanne Reveal Their Diet Secrets
*Crusin' the Nightspots With Hugh Grant
*The Dennis Rodman Swimsuit Issue
*Chestnuts Roasting on an Open Fire: Newt Gingrich's New Christmas CD
*Latest Bulletproof Fashions for Postal Workers
The city of Los Angeles finally has its first "Hooters"....
...Or as it’s called here, "Baywatch Rejects".
According to a recent study, 31% of High School boys are now smoking cigars.
...The other 69% are Republicans.
In her Barbara Walter’s interview, Monica Lewinksi said that Linda Tripp’s betrayal almost drove her to suicide.
...So for a change she was going to swallow pills.
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Aaron Spelling says he’s shocked by the amount of sexual content in teen movies.
Yeh, right ... that’s like Jerry Springer being shocked by the amount of violence on TV.
Mattel is coming out with "Sleeping Beauty" Barbie.
... "Al Gore" Ken sold separately.
A collectable store in New York is selling exercise equipment that once belonged to Madonna.
... Some of the items include a barbell, a weight-bench and a Chicago Bull.
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In an effort to appeal to those who didn’t like the on-air assisted suicide, "60 Minutes" is airing a story about people who continue to live despite horrible situations.
... Apparently, it includes an interview with Frank Gifford.
The Number One news event of the 20th Century according to a poll of journalists and scholars conducted by the Newseum in Washington, D.C. is the dropping of the Atomic Bomb on Hiroshima and Nagasaki.
Other rankings of note include:
247th - O.J.'s unsuccessful search for the real killers
116th - Susan Lucci's continuing failure to win a daytime Emmy
79th - Clinton: "I didn't inhale."
66th - Woody Allen marries his daughter to save her from her unfit mother.
32nd - Gene Shalit's Today Show prediction that Titanic would tank
Scary Spice had her baby, a 5.5-pound girl. Funny thing though ... the doctor didn’t spank the baby after delivery, he told the little tyke that the Spice Girls were going to reunite and BANG!, she started crying. The little darling is doing well and has been nicknamed by her parents "Constantly Moist Spice."
Newsweek magazine says a national poll shows that 41% say Hillary Clinton would be a very effective New York Senator.
Hillary says IF she decides to run she wants to win fair and square and not take advantage of her famous name.
So until after the election, no extra-marital sex!
A new survey, taken by an electronic navigation manufacturer says that men DO ask for directions
41% men ask, while only 30% women admitted they stop and ask someone.
Of course, with any survey you have to know how to interpret it ...
Sure, men stop and ask for directions ... they stop and ask pretty women, "How can I get to first base with you?"
The U.S. Agriculture Department last week approved irradiation of red meat as a way to reduce the threat of food poisoning.
The new meat will be easy to spot, it'll have a shelf-life date, and a new half-life date.
The Beef Council could start a new campaign to publicize the irradiated meat. A few of the slogans:
*Beef, it's the other scary meat.
*Now it's so easy to prepare, it practically cooks itself.
*Beef, it'll glow on you.
*Side dish, night light? You be the judge!
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The leader of New York's Democratic Party says that there is a 50-50 chance Hillary Rodham Clinton will enter that state's Senate race next year.
Her campaign slogan: "It's the adultery, stupid."
South Korean automaker Daewoo soon will be the first car company to sell its automobiles over the Internet.
You'll need at least a 28.8k modem to download a sedan; 56k for a truck or SUV.
The Dutch parliament has voted to legalize brothels.
In a related story ...Super Bowl 34: Amsterdam.
A top official in the Russian government says his country needs $3 billion from the United States and NATO to help pay for fixing the Y2K bug in the computers that control all of Russia's nuclear weapons.
U.S. officials ar skeptical about the request for "1 trillion gallons of premium Vodka for use as a hard drive cleaning solvent."
According to a new survey by the Condomania chain of stores, 36 percent of Americans think Nike should get into the condom business.
I don't know about that. I don't like the idea of a 12 year old making my condom. Know what I mean?
Roz Kelly, who played Pinky Tuscadero, Fonzie's biker
girlfriend has been jailed since Nov. 29, when she
allegedly grabbed a 12-gauge shotgun and shot up her
neighbor's car and apartment after being awakened by a
blaring car alarm.
Sounds reasonable to me ... what the hell is wrong with our judicial system, anyway?
Researchers said Friday that a drug derived from the saliva of leeches could be a lifesaver for heart attack patients.
Until the drug is tested and approved by the FDA, researchers recommended the only short term solution may be "an intimate relationship with an attorney."
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The world's first international cockfighting championship got under way in Thailand Sunday.
Honorary Chairman George Michael was on hand to unveil the first cock.
The Cable Network has acquired more than 40 CRIME AND PUNISHMENT themed feature films from a variety of major studios and independents. The movies will air Saturdays and Sundays. Says Court TV President and CEO, Henry Schleiff, "WE BELIEVE PLAYING THE MOVIES EVERY WEEKEND WILL CONTRIBUTE TO OUR ONGOING EFFORT TO FURTHER BRAND COURT TV AS THE CABLE NETWORK FOR CRIME AND PUNISHMENT PROGRAMMING."
So I guess it'll be similar to the UPN Network.
SEX IS NOT ONLY GOOD FOR THE HEART, BUT IT MAY ALSO BE GOOD FOR OVERALL HEALTH. Researchers at Wilkes University in Pennsylvania said a survey of college students found that having sex once or twice a week increased the antibodies that help fight colds and flu!
Hey, think about it, have you ever seen President Clinton sneeze?????
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