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THE E-MAIL ADDICT



My hand tightly grips the mouse
I sit here in blank silence
I haven't gotten an E-mail in 5 days
Soon I'll resort to violence

The vein in my forehead
Is popping out for miles
My chair worn away by shaking
I sit on the floor tiles

I stare at my inbox
Praying for some mail
I've lived on Doritos and beerburp
Brain's as slow as a snail

10 purple blood blisters
Thrive on all my fingers
Before, my inbox flowed
Now none is all that lingers

THE HUMOR SCOPE

It's 12:46 at night
But I'm far from being tired
I better get some mail
Before my brain gets wired

Oh look! I've got a message
From someone named "CareBear"
It has no subect, no words, no point
But God, I'm glad it's there!

I can finally go to bed
After hours of endless waiting
Maybe I can restart my social life
Maybe now I can start dating

After all, I've been sitting here
Since 1982
But since I've never seen sunlight
It might be hard to do

I wonder why no one
Had sent me something before
I guess it's cuz I haven't talked
Since 1984

Have I wasted my life?
Should I have gotten a job?
I've taken advantage of myself
And now I'm but a gob

Of fat, lazy, unhealthy waste
Sitting in a pit
I can't think for myself
I need a computer to do it

If someone told me to do something else
Would I have said "yeah"?
Have I made the wrong decision?
NAH!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Return to THE HUMOR SCOPE

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