There once was a conservative college in the mid-west that had
a standing rule, the heat was not to be turned on in the
dormitories prior to a certain date.
Unfortunately, one year, winter decided to rear its ugly head
early. Students in both the men's and women's dormitories
complained about the bitter cold, but were told that nothing
could be done.
After days of no heat and no respite in immediate sight, the
ladies realized that their dorm faced the equally cold men's
dorm. They turned a bed sheet into a banner with the
message,
"TURN ON THE HEAT OR WE'LL TURN ON THE BOYS!"
REALIZING THAT YOU'RE NOT IN COLLEGE ANYMORE:
**You're waking up at 6 am instead of going to bed.
**Beers at lunch get you reprimanded.
**College sweat shirts are 'casual' instead of dress up.
**Your parents charge rent.
**The four food groups are no longer beer, pizza, chips and cereal.
**It's 'getting late when it's 9:30 p.m.
**Three words: Student Loan Payments.
**You make thousands of dollars a year - and still can't afford that dream Porsche.
**You start eyeing the Light Beer Section appreciatively.
**Pickup football games mean that at least one person will be in the hospital by games end.
**THEN, discussing with your friends: GPAs, spring break plans, and tonsil hockey;
**NOW: mutual funds, interest rates, and wedding plans.
**Sleeping on the couch is a no-no.
**Naps are no longer available between noon and 6 p.m.
**Sneakers are now 'weekend shoes'.
**Dinner and a movie - The whole date instead of the beginning of one.
**Pregnancy now brings thought of tax deductions instead of coronaries.
**Jack and Cokes become Dewers on the Rocks.
**The only drugs you take are Tums and Tylenol.
**The weak single you hit in the intramural softball game is now remembered as a Varsity dinger for the League Championship.
**You get your news from sources other than USA Today, ESPN Sportscenter, and MTV News.
**Random hook-ups are no longer socially acceptable.
**You wear more ties in a week than you even owned while taking in college.
**You find yourself reminiscing fondly of 2-hour Calculus exams.
**You empathize with the characters from 'Friends.'
**METABOLISM SLOWDOWN
**Wine appreciation expands beyond Boone's and Mad Dog.
**You actually eat breakfast foods at breakfast time.
