Non-Categorized Jokes
A father and son went fishing one day. After a couple hours out in the
boat, the boy suddenly became curious about the world around him. He asked
his father, "How does this boat float?" The father thought for a moment, then replied, "I Don't rightly know, son."
The boy returned to his contemplation, then turned back to his father, "How
do fish breath underwater?" Once again the father replied, "Don't rightly know, son." A little later the boy asked his father, "Why is the sky blue?" Again, the father replied. "Don't rightly know, son." Worried he was going to annoy his father, he says, "Dad, do you mind my asking you all of these questions?"
"Of course not son. If you don't ask questions,... you'll never learn anything!"
A child comes home from his first day at school.
His Mother asks, "Well, what did you learn today?"
The kid replies, "Not enough. They want me to come back tomorrow."
The richest man in the world knew he was going to die and he wanted to set up his three children in business. He asked his oldest son what he wanted to do. The boy said he liked cars, so dad bought him General Motors. Then the dad asked his daughter what she wanted to do. She said she liked talking on the phone, so dad bought her AT&T. Now the youngest was only six years old, but dad knew he would understand. The boy said he wanted a Mickey mouse outfit, so dad bought him the Dallas Cowboys.
Return to the HUMOR SCOPE
A California doctor examining a young blonde woman with abdominal pains asked her if she was sexually active. She said that she wasn't. A later examination showed that she was pregnant. Asked why she said that she was not sexually active, the woman replied - I'm not, I just lie there.
When asked if she knew who the father was, with a puzzled look she replied, "No. Who?"
A man came storming out of the courthouse ranting and raving; obviously really angry . He stomped accross the street and into the bar and flounced down on a stool muttering, "A--hole attorneys".
The man next to him recoiled in outrage saying, "I want you to know I highly resent that remark". "Why, are you an attorney?"
"No, I'm an A--hole."
Judi and Gayle (both blondes) were at an auto show. There they saw a hot-rod with a jacked up rear.
"Judi, why is the back end higher than the front?" Gayle asked.
"Don't you know ANYTHING?" Judi sighed exasperated. "If you've got the back up, then you're always going downhill!"
Amazon.com Top 100 Hot DVDs
Your Best Link to Comedy VIDEOS
Toys for Grownups
Amazon.com 100 Hot CDs
Check Out the AUCTIONS and zSHOPS at Amazon.com
Back to THE HUMOR SCOPE
Long on egotism but short on cash, the young actor was trying to talk his impatient landlord into waiting for the rent. "In a few years," he said, "people will point to this apartment and say 'Jones the famous actor, once lived there." "If I don't get my rent tonight," said the landlord, "they'll be able to say it tomorrow."
The difference between men & women in one paragraph:
A man is driving up a steep, narrow mountain road. A woman is driving down the same road. As they pass each other the woman leans out the window and yells, "PIG!!" The man immediately leans out his window and replies, "BITCH!!" They each continue on their way, and as the man rounds the next corner, he crashes into a pig in the middle of the road.
A man in a supermarket was pushing a cart which contained, among other things, a screaming baby. As the man proceeded along the aisles, he kept repeating softly, "Keep calm, George. Don't get excited, George. Don't yell, George."
A lady watched with admiration and then said, "You are certainly to be commended for your patience in trying to quiet little George."
"Lady," he declared, "I'm George!"
Amazon.com Top 100 Hot DVDs
Your Best Link to Comedy VIDEOS
An old man gets on a crowded bus and no one gives him a seat. As the bus shakes and rattles, the old man's cane slips on the floor and he falls. As he gets up, a seven-year-old kid, sitting nearby, turns to him and says, "If you put a little rubber thingy on the end of your stick, it wouldn't slip."
The old man snaps back, "Well, if your daddy did the same thing seven years ago, I would have a seat today."
At 3:00AM, a desk clerk at a hotel gets a call from a drunk guy asking what time the bar opens. "It opens at noon," answers the clerk. About an hour later he gets a call from the same guy, sounding even drunker. "What time does the bar open?" he asks. "Same time as before... Noon," replies the clerk.
Another hour passes and he calls again, plastered, "Whatjoo shay the bar opins at?" The clerk then answers, "It opens at noon, but if you can't wait, I can have room service send something up to you." "No... I don't wanna git in... Ah wanna git OUT!!!"
Q: Moms have Mothers Day, fathers have Fathers Day. What do single guys have?
A: Palm Sunday
Amazon.com Top 100 Hot DVDs
Your Best Link to Comedy VIDEOS
Toys for Grownups
Amazon.com 100 Hot CDs
Check Out the AUCTIONS and zSHOPS at Amazon.com
Back to THE HUMOR SCOPE
