Tractor parts, fishing lures 'n' livestock, usually, is a poor choice for a wed'n gift. For the groom, at least, rent a tuxedo. Yer local undertaker has 'em in all sizes. 'Cept ya gotta be careful to keep yer back to the folks that's watch'n the proceed'n's. A nylon store-bought suit with a bowl'n shirt and a starched toilet paper in place of a handkerchief, tends to create a tacky appearance.
Even though they are uncomfortable, its best to wear shoes. The undertaker has some mighty comfortable styles. They's comfortable cuz they aint got no back sides in the heel area. Jest paint yer work socks black 'round the heels and nobody will notice.
On the Wed'n Night
Always make sure ya wear a clean pair of shorts. In a pinch ya can use ordinary black board chalk to cover any stains caused by yer own leav'ns or the ink from yesterday's newspaper. It's best to leave the hounds at home cuz all that nuptial carry'n's-on cause 'em think yer 'bout to strangle a possum. Remember to always tell yer mate they make ya happier then the rest of the farm animals.
