From Promise to Pork
A POLITICIAN'S "TO DO" LIST:
Kiss wife in public to show a happy family.
Kiss mistress in private and show her Mr. Politik.
Phone contributors and ask for money.
When asked my opinion. Filibuster.
Visit school to speak on being a role model.
Go to bar and use new pick-up line, "One day I may be president. Having sex with me now, may make you a bundle later."
WHEN THE POLITICIANS SPEAK
WHAT HE SAID:
"Politically speaking, we have pulled together an offer the First Lady can't refuse in terms of finance, union support, party support and no primary."
...Rep. Charles Rangel D-N.Y. on trying to persuade Hillary Clinton to run for U.S. Senate from New York
WHAT HE REALLY MEANT:
We have offered her everything including a young male intern with a double jointed tongue.
WHAT HE SAID:
"That's a decision she'll have to make."
...President Clinton, when asked if Hillary will run for the Senate.
WHAT HE REALLY MEANT:
She's defintitely interested in the male intern with a double jointed tongue.
WHAT SHE SAID:
"I'm doing my assessing right now."
...Elizabeth Dole, on whether she will run for President in 2000.
WHAT SHE REALLY MEANT:
The other Republican candidates are all such asses that I might as well run.
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WHAT HE SAID:
"We're going to listen to the American people."
...Senator Trent Lott R-Miss, touting the Republicans new agenda.
WHAT HE REALLY MEANT:
When we are done listening to the American people, we will do whatever the Religous Right, The Rutherford Institute, and Richard Mellon Scaife want us to do.
WHAT HE SAID:
"I have just decided NOT to get into the politics of it."
...Senator Spencer Abraham, R-Mich, on why he voted to convict and remove President Clinton.
WHAT HE REALLY MEANT:
I HAVE decided to get into the politics of it.
WHAT HE SAID:
"We have to begin to run America from the bottom up."
...Rep. John Kasich, R-Ohio, laying the groundwork for his long-shot presidential campaign.
WHAT HE REALLY MEANT:
Tax cuts for the rich! Tax cuts for the rich!
WEST SOUND MUSIC
Going, Going, Gone ... A-to-zShops at Amazon.com
Susan G. Komen Breast Cancer Foundation NetQuiz
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Drop by the Tavern ... TAVERN GAMES
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