Ass Taxi

Things You Don't Want to Hear From a Cab Driver

10. "You don't mind if I swing by my apartment to reload my gun, do you?"

9. "Does the back seat smell like a dead guy?"

8 "You're not a cop, are you?"

7. "If my doctor knew I was driving, he'd be real pissed."

6. "All the empty bottles up here keep rolling under the brake."

5. "You can help yourself to the loose potato chips under the seat."

4. "I'm letting you know up front, any touching is fifty bucks extra."

3. "Mommy let me drive by myself today."

2. "You know it's 4:00 and three couples already had sex back there."

1. "My passengers have a nearly 80% survival rate."

A rather posh lady is showing her small daughter around Rome in the back of a taxi. They pass a railway station and the daughter asks: "Mummy, what are all those ladies doing standing around in very short dresses?".

The mother realizes that she is referring to the prostitute day shift, but hedges - "I expect they are waiting for their friends, or looking at the Roman architecture, dear".

The taxi driver flips back the partition and says: "Go on, a-mother. Tell her they're prostitutes!". "Mummy what are 'prostitutes'?" With a sigh, Mother tells all.

The little girl is very interested and has a few questions, of course. "But Mummy, don't they sometimes have babies?".

"Well yes dear, I'm afraid they do." "But Mummy, what happens to the babies?". "Well dear, that's the interesting thing about it ... invariably they become taxi-drivers".

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