SPEEDING
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In Montana, you don't see many posted speed limits. So, when the police car pulls alongside of me, of course I immediately assumed he wanted to race." --David Letterman, referring to his recent speeding ticket
The judge fined a motorist $25 for speeding, and gave him a receipt. "What am I supposed to do with this, frame it?" snapped the driver sarcastically.
"No, save it," replied the judge. "When you get three you get a bicycle."
Great Falls, Montana -- A man ticketed for doing 104 mph in a 45 mph zone offered a novel excuse:
He was just air-drying his newly washed truck.
A traffic Policeman recently stopped a woman for exceeding the posted speed limit. He asked the driver her name. She said, "I'm Mrs. Ladislav Abdulkhashim Zybkcicraznovskaya from the Republic of Uzbekistan visiting my daughter in Columbia."
The cop put away his summons book and pen, and said, "Well... OK... but don't let me catch you speeding again."
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Sitting on the side of the highway waiting to catch speeding drivers, a State Police Officer sees a car puttering along at 22 MPH. He thinks to himself, "This driver is just as dangerous as a speeder!" So he turns on his lights and pulls the driver over.
Approaching the car, he notices that there are five old ladies -- two in the front seat and three in the back -- wide eyed and white as ghosts. The driver, obviously confused, says to him, "Officer, I don't understand, I was doing exactly the speed limit! What seems to be the problem?"
"Ma'am," the officer replies, "you weren't speeding, but you should know
that driving slower than the speed limit can also be a danger to other drivers."
"Slower than the speed limit? No sir, I was doing the speed limit
exactly ...Twenty-two miles an hour!" the old woman says a bit proudly.
The State Police officer, trying to contain a chuckle explains to her
that "22" was the route number, not the speed limit. A bit embarrassed,
the woman grinned and thanked the officer for pointing out her error. "But before I let you go, Ma'am, I have to ask... Is everyone in this car OK? These women seem awfully shaken and they haven't muttered a single peep this whole time," the officer asks.
"Oh, they'll be all right in a minute officer. We just got off Route 119."
London, England -- A British road safety campaigner has found a new way to make motorists reduce their speed.
After his hand-written pleas failed to slow cars outside his house, he
put up a roadside poster of the Czech supermodel, Eva Herzigova, taking
off her T-shirt. His method had an immediate success.
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