1. You stand in "line-ups" at the movie, not lines.
2. You're not offended by the term, "Homo Milk."
3. You understand the phrase, "Could you please pass me a serviette, I just spilled my poutine."
4. You eat chocolate bars instead of candy bars.
5. You drink pop, not soda.
6. You know what it means to be on 'pogey'.
7. You know that "a mickey" and "2-4's" mean "Party at the cabin, eh!!"
8. You don't hold your hand on your breast when you sing the national anthem.
9. You can drink legally while still a teen.
10. You know that francophones, anglophones and allophones are not
electronic devices.
11. You talk about the weather with strangers and friends alike.
12. You don't know or care about the fuss with Cuba, it's just a cheap
place to travel to and has good cigars.
13. When there is a social problem, you turn to your government to fix
it instead of telling them to stay out of it.
14. You're not sure if the leader of our nation has EVER had sex and don't want to know if he has!
15. You get milk in bags as well as cartons and plastic jugs.
16. Pike is a type of fish, not some part of a highway.
17. You drive on a highway, not a freeway.
18. You sit on a couch not a chesterfield - because Chesterfield is a small town in Quebec.
19. You know what a Robertson screwdriver is.
20. You have Canadian Tire money in your kitchen drawers.
21. You know that Thrills are something to chew and "taste like soap".
22. You know that Mounties "don't always look like that."
23. You know that Canada is the only country to successfully invade the US and burn its capital to the ground. And you can't wait to meet another American so that you can brag about it!
24. You voted for a political leader who admitted to smoking pot.
25. You read rather than scanned this list.
THE BEST WAY TO FIND CANADIANS WHEN YOU ARE ABROAD:
Walk through any airport, bar or other public establishment while abroad and sing or whistle the "Hockey Night in Canada" theme song.
Without
exception, all Canadians within ear shot will respond...
SIGNS THAT YOU MIGHT BE TOO CANADIAN FOR YOUR OWN GOOD:
1. You play hockey 12 months a year.
2. You dismiss all beers under 6% alcohol content as "for children and the elderly".
3. You know that the Friendly Giant isn't a vegetable product line.
4. You know that Casey and Finnegan are not a Celtic musical group.
5. You remember when Alanis Morisette was "Too Hot To Hold".
6. You wonder why there isn't a 5 dollar coin yet.
7. Your backpack has only one Canadian flag sewn on.
8. Unlike any international assassin/terrorist/spy in the world, you
probably don't have a Canadian passport, or if you do you can't find
it.
9. You know the French equivalents of "free", "prize" and "no sugar added", thanks to your extensive education in bilingual cereal packaging.
10. You are excited whenever an American television show mentions Canada.
11. You make a mental note to talk about it at work the next day.
12. You can eat more than one maple sugar candy without feeling nauseous.
13. You know what a touque is.
14. You have some memento of Doug and Bob.
15. You admit Rich Little is Canadian and you're glad Jerry Lewis is not.
16. You know Toronto is not a province.
17. You drink Moosehead beer because of the moose.
18. You believe "the Canadian Conspiracy" should have won an Oscar.
19. You never miss "Coaches Corner".
20. Backbacon is a food group.
21. You read rather than scanned this list.
22. You laugh afterward at some U.S. citizens' lack of knowledge of
Canadian geography, but you are too polite to correct them.
23. You use a tennis ball more for road hockey than for tennis.
