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UNITED KINGDOM

TOP TEN REASONS FOR BEING A BRIT...

1. Two World Wars and One World Cup.

2. Warm beer.

3. You get to confuse everyone with the rules of cricket.

4. You get to accept defeat graciously in major sporting events.

5. Union jack underpants.

6. Water shortages guaranteed every single summer.

7. You can live in the past and imagine you are still a world power.

8. Bathing once a week -- whether you need to or not.

9. Ditto changing underwear.

10. Beats being Welsh.

11. Or Scottish.

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TOP TEN REASONS FOR BEING IRISH

1. Guinness.

2. 18 children to a family.

3. You can get into a fight just by marching down someone's road.

4. Pubs never close.

5. Can use Papal edicts on contraception passed in the second Vatican Council of 1968 to persuade your girlfriend that you can't have sex using a condom.

6. No one can ever remember the night before.

7. Kill people you don't agree with.

8. Stew.

9. More Guinness.

10. Eating stew and drinking Guinness in an Irish pub at 3 in the morning after a bout of sectarian violence.

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TOP TEN REASONS FOR BEING WELSH

1. Very funny.


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