A Government Run By Pro Wrestlers

The Top 13 Changes Under a Government Run by Pro Wrestlers


13> Driving your fellow Congressman into the turnbuckle now considered acceptable method of ending a filibuster.

12> President now shouts entire State of the Union address with his face 18 inches from TV camera.

11> IRS audit replaced by more efficient reverse body slam onto enema.

10> Government becomes a charade of meaningless noises and lots of posturing by a bunch of inarticulate losers with no class or manners -- Hey, wait a minute....

9> Free school lunches destined for the needy instead go to the biggest, meanest, stupidest kid in each school.

8> Sex scandals now involve even skankier women.

7> January 20: Inauguration ceremonies

January 21: FDA approves over-the-counter sale of steroids

6> Newt Gingrich is finally able to wear his mask and cape out of the house.

5> During House debate, it is acceptable to yield to the gentleman wielding a folding chair.

4> Difficult finding interns willing to accommodate an entire pouch of Skoal.

3> Strom Thurmond *finally* removed by The Undertaker.

2> The line to bodyslam Ken Starr winds around Lincoln Memorial.

1> Before: Mr. Vice President. After: Stone Cold Al Gore

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08-MAR-99 ... Jesse "The Governor" Ventura is learning just how warm the limelight can be.

When he said recently on the David Letterman Show that the streets of St. Paul, MN, were laid out by drunken Irishmen, he heard from the mayor of St. Paul. Watch the ethnic remarks, he was told. Ventura apologized, but noted that when he was growing up, Minnesotans had more of a sense of humor.

... Actually, they had more of a sense of humor just a few short months ago when they elected him.



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