Six Feet Under?
A farmer named Muldoon lived alone in the countryside with a pet dog which he loved and doted on. After many long years of companionship, the dog finally died so Muldoon went to the parish priest:
"Father, my dear old dog is dead. Could you be saying a mass for the creature?"
Father Patrick replied, "I am so very sorry to hear about your dog's death. But, unfortunately we cannot have services for an animal in the church. However, there's a new denomination down the road, no telling what they believe, but maybe they'll do something for the animal."
Muldoon said, "I'll go right now. Do you think $500 is
enough to donate for the service?"
Father Patrick: "Why didn't you tell me the dog was
Catholic?!"
Sometime after Sidney died, his widow, Tillie, was finally able to speak about what a thoughtful and wonderful man her late husband had been.
"Sidney thought of everything," she told them. "Just before he died, Sidney called me to his bedside. He handed me three envelopes. `Tillie,' he told
me, 'I have put all my last wishes in these three envelopes. After I am dead, please open them and do exactly as I have instructed. Then, I can rest in
peace'."
"What was in the envelopes?" her friends asked. "The first envelope contained $5,000 with a note, 'Please use this money to buy a nice casket.' So I bought a beautiful mahogany casket with such a comfortable lining that I know Sidney is resting very comfortably.
"The second envelope contained $10,000 with a note, 'Please use this for a nice funeral.' I arranged Sidney a very dignified funeral and bought all his favorite foods for everyone attending."
"And the third envelope?" asked her friends. "The third envelope contained $25,000 with a note to please use the money to buy a nice stone." Holding her hand in the air, Tillie said, "So, do you like my stone?" showing off her ten carat diamond ring.
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Shenanigans in the Sound 
An Irish Shoppe
The Traveling Show
West Sound Gifts 
Mr. MacTavish from Aberdeen, Scotland was taken ill from the shock. As he lay dying in hospital with his friend the Priest at his bedside he murmered, "Where is my wife Mary," to which came the reply, "I am here Angus" ..."
MacTavish then says, "That is good" ... "and where is my loving son Sean ..."
"I am here also, Pappa," was the reply, at which point Old Mr. MacTavish leapt from his death bed and yelled out, "SO WHO THE HELL IS MINDING THE STORE?"
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