Beavis And Butthead Classic Pick Ups | *Dialogues | *Divine Inspiration | *Sickly Sweet | School | *About Sex | *Couture Cuts | *Telephone Tempters | *Put Downs | Food | Others |
*All the new pickups are in Gold*
Beavis And Butthead Classic Pick Ups
Dialogues
GUY:"Why should a woman masturbate with these two fingers?"
GAL: I don't know.
GUY:"Cause they're mine sweetheart."
GIRL: No, why?
GUY: Because when ever I look at you, I get wood in my pants.
Divine Inspiration
- Oh my sweet darling! For a moment I thought I had died and gone to heaven. Now I see that I am very much alive, and heaven has been brought to me.
- Baby, somebody call God cause he's missing an angel.
- (Check her shirt label) Just as I thought, made in heaven'.
- If God made anything prettier, I hope he kept it for himself.
- Are you religious? Cause I'm the answer to all your prayers.
- I think I can die happy now...cuz I've seen a piece of heaven.
- Is that a ladder in your tights or a stairway to heaven?.
- Are you lost ma'am? Because heaven's a long way from here.
- What could be so wrong in heaven that an angel like you is here on earth?
Sickly Sweet
- Do you mind if I stare at you up close instead of from across the room?
- Excuse me, do you think you might possibly have a mutual friend who could introduce us.
- I have had a really bad day and it always makes me feel better to see a pretty girl smile. So, would you smile for me?
- I just wanted to show this rose how incredibly beautiful you are!!
- Do you believe in love at first sight or should I walk by again?
- If you were words on a page, you'd be what they call "fine print".
- Is there an airport nearby or is that my heart taking off?
- Hello, Cupid called, He says to tell you that he needs my heart back.
- Hi, I'm Mr. Right. Someone said you were looking for me.
- Is there an airport nearby or is that just my heart taking off?'.
- Do you have a library card? Cause I'd like to check you out.
- If you were a tear in my eye I would not cry for fear of losing
you.
- Hi, the voices in my head told me to come over and talk to you.
- Do you have a map? I just keep on getting lost in your eyes.
- Hello, I'm a theif and I'm here to steal your heart.
- There must be something wrong with my eyes cuz I can't take them off you.
School
- I'm not too good at algebra, but doesn't U+I = 69?
- If I could re-arrange the alphabet I would put U and I together.
- Would you like to join me in some maths? We`ll add you and I.
together, subtract your clothes, divide your legs and multiply.
- How about if we do some accountancy? There's some figures I want to go over!
About Sex
- GUY: Do you know the difference between a hamburger and a blow job?
GAL: No!
GUY: Do you want to do lunch?
- Excuse me, I'm looking for a friend...do you want to be my friend?
- *makes a finger moved to show you want a girl to come over*
when she's there: "Did you like coming when i fingered you"-Frank
- I like every muscle in your body, especially mine.
- Hey babe, you got the time? cuz I got the place...
- Have you heard the latest piece of medical knowledge saying that Sex is a real killer? Do you want to die happy?
- I had sex with someone last night. Was that you?
- Congratulations! You've been voted "Most Beautiful Girl In This Room" and the grand prize is a vnight with me!
- Hi, are you here to meet a nice man or will I do?
- Hi. You'll do.
- GUY:Hey babe, how about a pizza and a fuck?
(after she slaps him or leaves)
HEY! What's wrong, don't you like pizza?
- Excuse me, I am about to go home to masturbate and needed a name to go with the face.
- Woman asks: "Excuse me, do you have the time?" Guy: "Yeah! Do you have the energy?"
- I'm not trying to pressure you. I don't want to have sex without mutual consent; oh and by the way, you have my consent.
- What has 148 teeth and holds back the incredible hulk? My Zipper
- *uses his index finger to call woman over then says: "I made you come with one finger, imagine what I could do with my whole hand."
- You know how some men buy really expensive cars to make up for certain, well, shortages? Well, I don't even own a car.
- I wanna get every bone in your body including mine.
- I got a F and a U and a C and a K but I like to use You(u).
- How about we play lion and lion tamer? You hold your mouth open, and I'll give you the meat.
- I'd really like to see how you look when I'm naked.
- You. Me. Whipped cream. Handcuffs. Any Questions?
- Wanna play army? I'll lay down and you can blow the hell outta me.
- Be unique, be different, say yes...
- Do you work for UPS? I could have sworn I saw you checking out my package.
- Baby, I'm an American Express lover...you shouldn't go home without me.
- Nice legs...what time do they open?
- I'm fighting the urge to make you the happiest woman on earth tonight.
- My name is Nick...remember that, you'll be screaming it later.
- Fuck me if I'm wrong when I say you wanna kiss me.
- Can I tickle your stomach from the inside?
- I wish you were a Pony Carousel outside Walmart, so I could ride you all day long for a quarter.
- I`d like to wrap your legs around my head and wear you like a feed bag.
- The word of the day is Legs, lets go back to your place and spread the word!
- I'm a squirrel, you're a tree. I wanna bust my nutz in your hole!
- ALL I WANT IS A LITTLE PEACE AND QUIET. GIVE ME A PIECE AND I'LL BE QUIET.
- I'm not Fred Flintstone but I'll Make Your Bedrock!
- I lost my puppy, can you help me find him? I think he went into - this cheap motel room.
- IF YOUR LEFT LEG WAS THANKSGIVING, AND YOUR RIGHT LEG - WAS CHRISTMAS, COULD I VISIT YOU BETWEEN THE HOLIDAYS?
- Hey baby, why don't you sit on my lap and we'll talk about the first thing that POPS up.
- You know, if I were you, I'd have sex with me.
- You can feel the magic between us......No, lower!
- Girl, if you were a porch I'd take out all the nails and screw ya.
Couture Cuts
-Hi, I've been undressing you with my eyes all night long, and think it's time to see if I'm right.
- Is that windex or can I see myself inside your pants?
- Is that a keg in your pants? Cause I can see myself tappin' that ass.
- That shirt is very becoming on you. But then if I were on you I`d be coming too.
- Guy points to girls sweater, "That looks like silk..." points down, "Oh...and that must be felt."
- Nice shoes...wanna fuck?
- Those clothes would look great in a crumpled heap on my bedroom floor.
- If I gave you a sexy negligee would there be anything in it for
me.
- You`re so hot you melt the plastic in my underwear.
- Are those space pants? Cause your arse is out of this world.
Telephone Tempters
- Do you have the time? [Gives the time] No, the time to write down my number?
- Pardon me miss, I appear to have lost my telephone number, could I borrow yours?
- Can I borrow a 1/4 ? My mother told me to call home when I meet the girl of my dreams.
- Please excuse me for a minute, I have to call your mother to thank her.
Put Downs
- Hi, I just wanted to give you the satisfaction of turning me down; go ahead say no.
- What's a nice girl like you doing talking to a loser like me?
- Would you like to dance or should I go fuck myself again?
- You know, I`d love to screw your brains out, but it appears someone has beaten me to it.
- Do you want to hear a joke that`ll make your laugh your tits off? Oh, you`ve already heard it.
- What`s a nice girl like you doing with a face like that?
- I may not be the best looking guy in here, but I'm the only one talking to you.
- You might not be the best looking girl here, but beauty is only a light switch away.
Food
- If it's true we are what we eat, then I could be you by tomorrow
morning.
- I know Milk it does a body good, but DAMN, how much have you been drinking?
- I've got a thirst baby and you smell like my Gatorade.
- Hi, my name is "Milk". I'll do your body good.
- If it's true that we are what we eat, then I could be you by morning.
- Wanna come over for some pizza and sex? No? What you don't like pizza?
Others
- You see my friend over there (Points to friend who sheepishly waves from afar) He wants to know if YOU think I'M cute.
- My name isn't Elmo, but you can tickle me anytime you want to.
- I'm new in town, can I have directions to your house?
- I'm a bird watcher and I'm looking for a Big Breasted Bed Thrasher, have you seen one?
- Help the homeless. Take me home with you!
- If I told you you had a nice body, would you hold IT against me?
- Ever tripped over a small tree? How about a root?
- I'm not really this tall...I'm just sitting on my wallet.
