Punk 5

I’d spent all day in my room. I was severely disturbed. Not level. Zac had manipulated me, mocked me, and most of all, he’d scared me. He’d played off my pain. He tricked me into thinking I liked him. Wanted him. What was he doing to me? He’d raped me. I hated him. But no I also feared him too. My mild indifference towards him had turned to pure hatred, it was controlling me now, I realized. I stared at my wall, a single tiny crack. Damn crack. Had to fix that. No. Zac. Why did he bother me? Why did he follow mw, look at me? Look though me? I decided to call Katie, she’d help. Make me feel better. She’d bash him naively and I’d try to believe her, although I know I’d never tell her. What would I say? She’d never believe me that I ‘d ever let that happen. I reached for the phone and dialed her number. Two rings. “Hello?” “Hey, Katie. It’s me.” “Hey girl. What’s up? I saw you talking to freak boy today. What up with that?” ”Nothing. He just bothered me. I blew him off.” Ha. I wish. “Who does he like, bother you now? He never really did before. Talk to you, I mean. Last time I talked to him was that night when we saw that movie…. what, 5 months ago or so?” Claire felt her chest clench at even that memory. “Yeah. That day you freaking DITCHED me!” Claire was still resentful slightly towards them for doing that to her. But they didn’t know. They didn’t know….did they? “ I’m sorry, Claire….We were like, so freaked! I swear, I’ll never do it again. Besides, nothing happened anyways.” Yeah right. “Yeah, I guess so. Whatever. I’d done the same.” “So, what do you want to do today? Mall? Movie?” Claire couldn’t go to a movie. She hadn’t seen a movie since that day, movies now reminded her of pain and grief and being so scared she thought she’d die. The once calming darkness now scared her to death. A movie was out. “Uh…. how about a concert? “ “A concert? Uh, there’s none really around now, Claire. We do live in haystack, you know.” “Lets’ drive. Away. To Lauderdale. It’s only about 3 hours, right? There’s gotta be something to do there. We’ll take your car. “ She wanted to be as far away from Zac as she could, so she wouldn’t have a chance of running into him again. Not that. She couldn’t handle it. “Hey, that might be fun! But we hardly ever go out to Lauderdale. What if we like, get lost or something?” “Nah. It’ll be fun. Come on, Katie.” Claire laughed. “Fine. “ Katie smiled. “Why not?”

chapter 6
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