mermaids of surburbia

chap 3 -> “Fuck” I hissed. My locker was stuck again. I slammed it with my side. It wouldn’t budge. I leaned against it and closed my eyes. Shit. I looked at my watch and silently cursed. Five minutes till first period. Why does’ this shit always happen to me? I turned to the side to leave, when I realized I had run smack into someone else. “Oh shit…I’m sorry! “ I said,” I was in a hurry. “ I shifted my pack on to the right shoulder and looked up and him. “Holy shit.” I mumbled. This guy…he was beautiful. Like nothing I’d ever seen before. “Hey, that’s alright. Late for class?” He smiled slightly. I tried to reason. Did he go to his school?? Where had I seen him before? “Uh, yeah but my locker is jammed, so I guess…I’m leaving. ” I trailed off. What was there to say? Words were meaningless now. “Playing hooky, eh?? “ He teased, raising his eyebrow and leaning against the locker. He was SO beautiful. I slipped out of my trance and asked, “So, do you go to this school?? Are you new??” He looked puzzled. “No, I’m been going her for two years.” I was started. How could I have never noticed him? Was I so fucked up that I didn’t even notice the world around me? I knew everyone in this school. Had to keep up that “perfect” popular girl persona. The bell rang. I ignored it. “Where do you live? What’s your name? ” I asked. I suddenly had to now everything about this guy. This guy was a fucking fox. An angel. He laughed. “I live about a mile away on Madison Street. You know near the Dominick’s? “ I nodded. “How old are you?” “I’m 17.” Out the corner of my eye saw Lily. That gave me an idea. “What’s your name?” “Taylor. How about you?” “Nikki.” “Nice to meet you, Nikki.” He said. “Taylor? “ I asked, “tonight there’s this party over on State Street, everyone is going to be there, are you going?” I blurted out. "Yeah, actually I was thinking of going. Are you? He didn’t seem to notice I was sweating. He wasn’t surprised I was practically screaming at him. He was controlled. Smooth. He shook his head slightly to get the hair out of his eyes. “I was thinking about it. I was going to go with my friend Lily. “ I replied. I could hardly speak. This guy held me in a trance. I was mesmerized. I’d never met anyone like him before. He was amazing. It’s funny, because you could go through your whole life in a daze, never really seeing anything, but then one day BAM you see. There is still unseen beauty in this world. There’s more to life then denial. “Okay then maybe I’ll see you there, huh?’” I asked. “Yeah.” He smiled. “You better get to class then, right?? Your already 5 minutes late. “ Have it really only been ten minutes? ”Yeah.” I said. I turned and walked away. My legs seemed to drag. Who in the fuck was this guy? As I was about to turn the corner, I looked out the corner of my eye at him. He was still leaning against that locker, staring at me. I made my way though the mass of screaming, dancing, grinding fucked up crowd, and I looked for him. I wanted to see him, his face. I wanted to reassure myself that he was real, not a mirage. Not something I made up to satisfy my longing for something more, something better. I hung around at a table in the kitchen, staring into every face, searching for him. Then I saw him. Talking. I walked over and realized he was talking to Lily. Then I remembered that I had totally forgotten about Lily. She was supposed to pick me up, but I had spent all day wondering around the city thinking. Wondering. Fantasizing. “Nikki! Hi! “ She chirped. “Where were you? I was supposed to pick you up, remember? At 9?” I nodded, again mesmerized by him. He was wearing a black tank top and tight brown leather pants lace up at the fly. He was SO fucking beautiful. His hair shined in the lights perfectly, and his eyes lit up in the fake blue disco lights that illuminated him. “Hey.” He said and winked. “Having fun??" He asked. I said, with a struggle, “Yeah, are you??” “Yeah, I’m okay. I ‘ve been talking to your friend Lily for a while." I stared at him. “Do you want to talk?” I asked. An insane question. He stared back at me. Then he answered that impossible answer. “Sure.” We walked away together; leaving Lily confused I’m sure. We found a room in the back that wasn’t already occupied by some drunken fucked-up reality kids, and sat down. He sat on a armchair across from me. We were silent. He was like…a mirage. I couldn’t believe it. He wasn’t real. I’d spent so long slowly dying in my fucked up life, he was an angel coming down to take me to heaven. I was dying, that was it. There was no other way. “Why have I never seen you??” I asked. He smiled. “I don’t know. Maybe you never looked. I’ve always been around.” He replied. I was taken aback. Was that it?? I said, “Your beautiful. Who made you??” He laughed. He shifted in his seat and looked out the window. Music blared from he living room, but we didn’t hear it. We were wrapped up in our own memories. “The mermaids.” He replied, and laughed again. “They molded me from fins and salt and the sea. “ I smiled. I got up and sat next to him on the armrest “But your human. And alive. Mermaids are make-believe. “ He smiled sadly. Differently then before. “Just because you don’t believe, does not mean it’s not real.” I was silent. Was that it?? Was everything not really what it seemed? Did mermaids really create this god of a human? A perfect specimen of sex appeal and beauty? Or was this all an illusion to trick me?? “Your so popular… attractive. Every girl in school would just die to fuck you! “ I said “Don’t you understand you have it all wrong??!” I partly screamed. He raised an eyebrow and said, “You don’t know me, Nikki. All you know is what you see here, in front of you. There’s more to me then meets the eye. Just because I’m “hot” doesn’t mean anything. Sex is nothing without meaning. ” I thought. “But I’d die to fuck you. That’s real feelings. To have just a taste of you…..a glimpse. Your so perfect and, and….happy. He looked me straight in the eyes and said, “But your wrong. I’m dying, just like everyone else. What makes you think I’m not like you?" ______________________________________________________________________________________________________________We were somewhere. I was lost. He was on me, all over me, it was like.....a vision. I saw things. A feeling I'd never had. I wanted him in me forever....I wanted to feel him in a way none had ever felt him before. I knew he didn't trust me...but we were drawn to eachother too strongly for him to resist. Then it was happening, the unexpected, the unexplained. The unforgiveable. I prayed this feeling would never end, that I could always hold him in my grasp.....but it's all fading now.....but wait>>>>>>>>>> I swear, I was quickly dying, but painlessly. I didn't mind. It felt like wieghtless and infinite. He said quietly, “Believe.” It was intoxicating. His voice. His skin. “In what?” I managed to choke out, not because I really could speak, but because I needed, had to know what he wanted me to believe in. “Mermaids. They’re everywhere. Believe.”