Site hosted by Angelfire.com: Build your free website today!
"TUCKER"

~ From This ~


(in 12 months)


To This:


You Know You're a
Great Dane Owner When:




  • the city garbage collectors draw straws to see who has to walk by the fence to get the garbage can

  • you issue athletic cups at your front door to all male visitors

  • Dobermans and German Shepherds look small

  • one kiss from your dog can destroy all your makeup

  • your "cute little puppy" put on 90 pounds in 8 months

  • your dog backs up out of small rooms

  • your dog thinks its funny to yawn with his head just above the cat, then close his mouth over her entire head

  • your 110 pound puppy just doesn't understand it when other dogs bark at him & run away

  • your Christmas tree decorations start 40" from the base of the tree

  • butts on the couch, feet on the floor is normal, and your company thinks it is something remarkable

  • you use a snow shovel for a pooper scooper

  • you tell guests to put something on top of the refrigerator to keep it safe

  • you tell your dog to sit, and he backs up until he finds a chair


  • your dog can hide an entire tennis ball (among other things) fully inside his lips and give you that innocent look that says, "What? I'm not eating anything!"

  • you carry a tape measure with you when shopping for a new vehicle

  • visitors enter the house holding their privates protectively

  • you have to move over when brushing your teeth because your dog wants a drink

  • while stopped at a stop light, everyone stares as your car rocks back and forth because the dog is panting out the window

  • the monthly dog budget exceeds your home mortgage payment

  • your dog glares at you because he can't understand why you are peeing in his water bowl

  • the donuts you put on top of the refrigerator are gone when you get home and your dog has powdered sugar on his nose

  • you're holding him straddled between your legs when the doorbell rings, and you find yourself quickly transported straight to the front door

  • your dog stands in your lap and reaches over you to stick his head in the drive-through window at MacDonald's and nearly gives the cashier a heart attack when she turns around to give you your change

  • you purchase a large screen TV and you still can't see the program when he stands in front of the television


  • Your birdbath doubles as a water dish

  • every knick-knack in the house resides above the 5 foot mark

  • someone is following too closely and you want them to back off so you have your dog stand up -- they drop back 10 car lengths

  • you stay out of the woods during hunting season, and you buy your dog an orange vest to wear whenever he goes outside

  • when other dogs see your dog, they are confused as to just what exactly "it" is

  • your cats prefer to eat their meals on the top of the fridge

  • the neighborhood kids sneak up to the gate on their way home from school and say "See? I told you so!"

    when you get out of your car, there's a small crowd of people staring at it saying things like, "OhMyGod it's HUGE," and "That's the biggest dog I've ever seen," and "Son, don't you get too close to that thing!"

  • the UPS man refuses to deliver packages

  • people actually ask before petting your dog

  • pouting, grumbling, talking back, and "copping an attitude" are normal when your dog doesn't get his way



    YOU TAKE YOUR DOG FOR A WALK, AND....


  • a five-year-old girl approaches to ask, "Why are you walking that baby cow?"

  • a car drives by, stops, and backs up to you. The driver rolls down his window to ask, "Excuse me, that's a dog, isn't it?" When you say yes, he turns to his wife and says, "See, I told you so, nobody walks a deer!" and drives away

  • you see a Chihuahua and you mutter under your breath, "My dog craps bigger than that!"



    YOU HAVE A QUICK ANSWER FOR EVERYTHING THEY ASK...


    Q: "How did he get soooo big?"
    A: "We put Miracle Grow in his water."

    Q: "What kind of dog is that?"
    A: "It's not really a dog, it's a Holstien. He's just a little confused."

    Q: "How much does he eat?"
    A: "Two kids a week"

    Q: "Why is he so big?"
    A: "We live near a nuclear power plant."

    Q: "Does he bite?"
    A: "Only on Tuesdays. Oops, that's today, isn't it?"

    Q: "How much does your dog eat?"
    A: "How much do you weigh?"

    Q: "Have you fed that thing today?"
    A: "Why? Are are you missing a kid?"

  • BACK