Crushing
In the deepest darkest pits of my heart
Lies a special place
Reserved for all the memories of mistakes and bad names
A place for them to dwell and have cocktails
Reminisce about themselves
And remind me of my atrocities
Self doubt, self hate, and insecurity
Constant companions to my depression
I can't help how I am
Alone on a crowded earth
I feel everyone's pain
The world upon my shoulders
A slow regression
Into a shell of nowhere
Seeking love and help
My love is strong but mistakes are stronger
One screw up and I could end it all
A responsibility I must respect
An error made by myself and I feel searing pain
The special place tends to that pain
Magnifying it a thousand fold
Never ending pain tortures me
No escape is in sight
Save the love I share with another
Weak by myself
I wilt under her emotional strength
A crutch she becomes to me
I cannot handle this pain
I haven't the defenses
Yet I am sorry for all of this
My love is my pain
Aware of all that I cause
I am my affliction