WARNING: This page is for humorous entertainment only! Repeat these quotes out loud at your own risk of severe embarrassment and public ridicule.
Yep, that's the shomoe himself on the right (he's popping his cherry in that picture, cant you tell how excited he is)
Scroll down.....
Peace sign.. the PEACE SIGN?? WHO THE HELL GIVES THE PEACE SIGN IN A PICTURE?? Well Marty Does
Look at Croz on the left, and compare him in the picture below after 22 beers....
SMCroz08: by the way, could u take the pic of me marveling over jaimes tits off of there
Now how drunk and nasty does this
kid look?? I wonder how much he needed to pay these ladies.....
Stalecrakr: he is possing like a fuckin vogue model
You JUDGE (no pun intended) for yourself.
SMCroz08: by the way my farts right now smell like dog farts
Sean's thoughts on Marty:....
Whitey2682: "he used to be a nice little boy, now he is truly a drunk who gets no ass ,
has no friends, and robs from his mom to by jack
Stalecrakr:
dude i jsut wrote a commment but i had a feeling you would put it into that
damn website so i refrained
And this is for all the times he didnt refrain...
21. Stalecrakr: it had something to do with: ,me
Stalecrakr:
womens prison
Stalecrakr:
horniness and many other things but iam tired of typing them all
20. Stalecrakr: get alot of girls, like ones we dont know so that maybe they think we
are cool kids
Stalecrakr: like for atleast the night
19. Stalecrakr:
dude i am watchin the olsens, how
fuckin hot are those girls, wow
18. Stalecrakr: Listen how drunk i was last night...
Stalecrakr: i left andrew a message and i told him the appalachion
mountains are no place to raise a family
17.Stalecrakr: yeah so dont be suprised if i have rape and or indecent exposure this weekend cause i may rape some girl or some small aniaml
16.Stalecrakr: i am serious though if i worte a biography of my life it would be comsidered a comedy, thats how funny my life is right now
15.Stalecrakr: yo one of us needs to be a person on realwold
SMCroz08: or a new reality series titled binge drinking at its worst
14.Stalecrakr: and i may have gotten head but i dont know from who or if it really happned
Stalecrakr: which brings me back to the point that my life is a revolving trashcan
*13.Stalecrakr:
by the way i just wanted to clarify there is no way i got head
last ngiht, i mean if she got past the fact of my little man junk and the
large stomach i dont think she would have went for the fact that i probabaly pasted out
10.
8. Stalecrakr: dude my chest has grown like madd hair today from beeing at the game
7. JBailey15:
haha i hear ya i just dont know what to get her man
Stalecrakr: get her me, i will just sit in the corner and
when you press a button i will say stupid shit
6. Stalecrakr: i live under a rock man all i knowis wendys is open late ngiht
5. Stalecrakr: dude we suck i mean i have come to grips with the fact that nothing
fun is ever goin to go on but when you cant even organize a friendly game of
poker, ya know you suck at life
4. Stalecrakr:
no i dont man i dont belive in pennies
Stalecrakr: i hate them i throw them out
3. Stalecrakr: yo i wish my parents got me a slutty girlfreind for christmas
2. Stalecrakr: whats up human time bomb
1.
Stalecrakr: yo if i fucked one of the
olsen twins i would tell everyone i knew
i would give my parents a vivid discription of the whole event too, just casue it is
the olsen twins
And as long as Marty doesnt get lock jaw, I am sure he will be humoring us with more of his useless babbling.... More to come soon...
AND MARTY WANTS EVERYONE WHO SEE'S THIS TO PUT YOUR NAME IN THE BOOK, SO HE KNOWS HOW MANY PEOPLE KNOW HE'S A SCHLEPPER
More funny shit...
At age 4, success is..................not peeing in your pants. At age 12, success is..................having friends. At age 20, success is..................having sex. At age 35, success is..................making money. At age 70, success is..................having sex. At age 80, success is..................having friends. At age 90, success is..................not peeing your pants.
Are You The Manager?
A rather attractive woman goes up to the
bar in a quiet rural pub. She gestures alluringly to the barman who comes over
immediately. When he arrives, she seductively signals that he should bring his
face close to hers. When he does so, she begins to gently caress his beard which
is full and bushy.
"Are you the manager?" she asks, softly stroking his face with both hands.
"Actually, no" he replies.
"Can you get him for me - I need to speak to him?" she asks, running her hands up beyond his beard and into his hair.
"I'm afraid I can't" breathes the barman - clearly aroused. "Is there anything I can do?"
"Yes there is. I need you to give him a message" she continues huskily, popping a couple of fingers into his mouth and allowing him to suck them gently. "Tell him that there is no toilet paper in the ladies room."
Being Drunk
A drunk phoned police to report that thieves had
been in his car. "They've stolen the dashboard, the steering wheel, the
brake pedal, even the accelerator!" he cried out.
However, before the police investigation could start, the phone rang a second time with the same voice came over the line.
"Never mind," he said with a hiccup, "I got in the back seat by mistake."
Free Beer
A new guy in town walks into a bar and reads a
sign that hangs over the bar... FREE BEER! FREE BEER FOR THE PERSON WHO CAN PASS
THE TEST!
So the guy asks the bartender what the test is. The Bartender replies "Well, first you have to drink that whole gallon of pepper tequila, the WHOLE thing at once and you can't make a face while doing it. Second, there's a 'gator out back with a sore tooth...you have to remove it with your bare hands. Third, there's a woman up-stairs who's never had an orgasm. You gotta make things right for her." The guy says, "Well, as much as I would love free beer, I won't do it. You have to be nuts to drink a gallon of pepper tequila and then get crazier from there. Well, as time goes on and the man drinks a few, he asks, "Wherez zat teeqeelah?"
He grabs the gallon of tequilla with both hands, and downs it with a big slurp and tears streaming down his face. Next, he staggers out back and soon all the people inside hear the most frightening roaring and thumping, then silence. The man staggers back into the bar, his shirt ripped and big scratches all over his body. "Now" he says "Where's that woman with the sore tooth?"