Thought of today: Airport security has been beefed up like a mutha but i betchu you can still sneak in your backpack wid 2 soda bottles filled with a deadly substance. What if a biological warfare agent was to be sprayed on board an airliner. Would anyone know? Til it was too late? SLEEP SLEEP SLEEP -.- CRASH! X.X

I didn't goto school today. That's 3 days in a row. My mother thinks i went. Just another note to write i guess. On my way to my destination i noticed a blind lady. She was rather peaceful looking. Thoughts ran through my mind. What exactly is it like to be born blind - to never be able to see in your life; to only recognize things by their physical properties and textures; to never understand what exactly a color is; to never see danger ahead of you; to always be in the need of assistance and care wherever you go - a dependancy for your life. Yet the fortunate people will never understand for they will always take for granted what they truly depend on. Imagine having to get up every morning to walk your routine walk to the place you always goto to do your daily shit always in fear. Imagine one day tripping on that same path with no one there to help you. You get back up, but are unsure of which way you came from or how far you fell. What if your life was measured in footsteps and you lost count? To be so disoriented in the world - to live the life of a blind. Yet you foolish people still dont understand. I too myself get up on that path every morning. I walk that routine walk. DO my daily shit. And i fall every once in a while. Only to be laughed at by people. People that dont quite understand that a trip could mean everything... in wartime it means life and death; on a mountainside it could mean a few cuts and bruises; in love it could mean a broken heart; and in the human mind it could mean mentallity and unconsciousness. People dont understand. No one does. AHH FUCK YOU ALL! Lord help me.

Today, March 18, 2002 2257PST.

The year has passed and misery still exists. Bitch probably doin the typical shit. and it is on this day that i so heartlessly regret, that everything will soon fall apart. tears and frustration - the outcome of lifes unpredictable cause. my heart cries out to those who feel me. may we one day join together for a single cause. and it is that day march 18, 2004 that hell will break loose. the journey will then be over. smile for me.

Today, December 6, 2002 924PST

Haha... Never would've thought that i'd end up in a place like this. One more day and i turn seventeen. Didn't really think i can actually stoop down to this type of living. I guess this year is going to be a weird one. haha. christina i still feel for you. internet access on the net! yes!