Title: An Ode To Maybe

Author: Carla (moviebuff001)

Rating: Pg-13-Language, sexual content, violence

Category: The X-Files

Archiving: Sure, just tell me

Feedback: Please!

Spoilers: Most Alex Krycek episodes and some of the mythology.

Summary: Alex Krycek is hired to kill someone, but he has a little trouble completing the job…

Time line: Season 7 after S.R. 819 but before Two Fathers.

Disclaimer: If I did own Alex Krycek, he’d still be alive. So, alas he belongs to Chris Carter and 1013. All quotes are from the Matthew Good Band.

 

Chapter 11

 

Wisconsin-Illinois border

 

            It had been her uncle’s before he had died, his hiding place. She was the only one he had trusted his secret getaway to. It was small and far enough away from any road that no one could possibly notice its existence.

 

            Even though he had built it with his own hands, her uncle’s log cabin was beautifully constructed. The one room and bathroom held a warmth she’d been missing for a long time. It was causing her to realize how much she missed her family, so she went back outside.

 

            The rain had stopped but the scent of it was still strong in the air as it clung to the trees surrounding the cabin.

 

When Sandra went back to the car, Alex was still slumped over, asleep in the passenger seat.

 

Looking at him made her remember what had happened last night. Last night, it was the first time she had let herself think about it. The memory had been desperately pulling at her all day but she had refused to acknowledge it.

 

She knew they both hadn’t been thinking clearly last night and what they had done had been in pure animalistic form. They were both fairly attractive people and it was just pure adult attraction resulting in mutually consulting sex, Sandra rationalized.

 

She was still unsure of what to make of Alex Krycek though. On the surface it seemed that in the past he been mislead, prompted to do bad things and he had blindly followed. But Sandra wasn’t naïve, and neither was he. If anything, he was calculated with a distinct motive for every action he took. He may originally have been oblivious to the game but now he secretly ran it.

 

He stirred, reminding her of what she had come over to do. Sandra lightly brushed his arm with her fingertips but he didn’t wake up. Her fingers moved to his face, her thumb outlining his lips.

 

At the touch, Alex opened his eyes, an indescribable emotion washing over him as he stared into her eyes. A lingering dream toyed with his brain as he gained consciousness. Images of Sandra, of them kissing, fast and hard, then slow and soft.

 

He mentally shook his head, freeing himself from the dream. Yet still, he found himself staring into the essence of his dream.

 

He felt almost a magnetic pull towards her, his lips aching to connect with hers. He could see it in her eyes that she wanted the same, he could practically feel her mental restraint.

 

Then the moment was over, the air changed back to normal and they both moved away from each other. Sandra walked back to the cabin with Alex slowly following, taking deep slow breaths.

 

 

Chapter 12

 

            It was raining again, the downfall smashing loudly against the roof. The rain was the only audible sound in the room, besides the occasional scrape of cutlery against a bowl.

 

            Sandra had managed to find a can of soup only months short of expiration, which they both managed to finish in under a minute.

 

            “So this was your Uncle’s,” Alex said, trying to start a conversation, “were you two close?”

 

            “Yeah, pretty close. My mom and he were always really close, so he was always around.” Sandra said, pushing her bowl to the middle of the table.

 

            “When did he die?” Alex had thought it was an innocent question until he saw the look in Sandra’s eyes.

 

            It took her a few moments to answer, “He died a couple of months before my parents.” Realization then hit her, “They were all murdered…weren’t they?”

 

            The look in her eyes made Alex want to reach out to her, to hold her. He nodded his head in confirmation, “I don’t know who killed them though.” He put his hand on her knee.

 

            Tears fell unknowingly down her cheeks. It was her fault they all died, if her parents hadn’t adopted her, if they had never known her, they’d still be alive.

 

            “It’s not your fault,” Alex said, as if reading her mind. He crouched down in front of her chair, putting both hands on her knees. He wasn’t used to comforting people but he couldn’t stand seeing her upset.

 

            Because she wanted to yell and scream that it wasn’t fair, because she wanted to throw herself into Alex’s arms, she turned her attention to something else.

 

            “Where’s your family?”

 

            He never talked about his family, not in ten years. As far as anybody else knew he was alone and had always been that way. Maybe that was the reason he felt such a need to tell her.

 

            “My father was a Russian scientist and he was brought over during the height of the cold war to work for the American government. He met my mother here and they fell in love and got married. They had me and my sister Ana and everything was pretty normal until I was fourteen…” Alex got up and paced the small distance of the room, “…when my father was murdered in front of my mother and me.”

 

            Alex sat back in his chair, as Sandra tried to think of something to say. She was starting to see why Alex had picked this road to live, whether it was right or not.

 

            He looked up at her for a second, and then continued, “My father had been doing top secret experiments for the U.S. government ever since he was brought over. One night, three men came to the door, asked if they could speak to my father. Then after few minutes…one shot him.” He paused for a long time, fighting tears.

 

            “The police declared it a robbery, although nothing was taken. They ignored all the evidence because the government told them to. It’s the only explanation.”

 

            Sandra stood and wrapped her arms around his neck to hug him but he pulled away, walking to the other side of the room.

 

            “I’ve done things…I thought they were justified at the time, but now…” He ran a hand over his hair and walked back to Sandra, standing close. “I’ve killed people and even though it might have been warranted, I’m now starting to realize that doesn’t matter. I have no right to play God.”

 

            Because she didn’t flinch away from him or look disturbed, he continued, “I’ve sat back and watched as other people have been killed, hurt, had terrible things done to them. Even when I was in a position to help, I didn’t.”

 

            Sandra finally spoke, “Why are you telling me all this?”

 

            “I want you to hate me, I want you to know what a bad person I am,” he answered.

 

            “Why do you want me to hate you?” Sandra pressed.

 

            “Because!” He yelled at her.

 

            “Why?” She repeated, just as loud.

 

            Alex waited for a minute, then looked her straight in the eye, “Because I’m supposed to kill you,” he said quietly and then walked outside.

 

            Sandra followed him out into the rain, without a second thought. She yelled after him, “I sort of figured that out, you know.”

 

He slowly turned around to face her as she walked to him. “I’m not as stupid as I may look. I suspected you had other motives when you took me from CSM, especially after you pulled the gun on me today.” She had to yell over the rain.

 

Alex almost smiled, a monkey would have probably figured out what he was doing. So that was why he didn’t understand why she was still there.

 

“I don’t care what you did in the past, that doesn’t matter now. I can see that you’re still a good person, though you probably have forgotten that. If I was smart I would run, I would get away from you. I have no idea why you’ve kept me around this long, which makes me think you have other intentions, you have some other reason to keep me around. I want to know why, but I don’t trust you enough to ask you directly.

 

“I need you though, I don’t know how to run and I don’t really know what I’m running from. I need help and I want your word that you won’t deceive me from here on.”

 

Alex thought for a second, she had courage, “Will you believe me?”

 

Sandra smiled, “You know these past few days have been a little strange so I’m willing to go on a little faith here.” She stuck out her hand.

 

“You have my word,” he shook her hand.

 

 

Chapter 13

 

            “Can you please explain this whole ‘alien conspiracy’ to me?” Sandra asked, sitting down next to Alex on the only soft place to sit, the bed.

 

            “Believe me, its better if you don’t know.” Alex tried.

 

            Sandra looked him directly in the eye, “Since I’m a part of it, I think it is better that I know.”

 

            Alex sighed, this was going to be a long night, he thought.

 

            “Alright, well you know about Roswell?” She nodded her head. “Well, it’s true. Aliens really did land on earth, that was our first introduction to them. Later, in the seventies, the government found out that these aliens planned to kill all humans and colonize earth, which is what they’ve been doing all over the universe. They use a black oil, which is a virus, that is called “purity”. That was when The Syndicate was formed so they could work with the alien colonists to form a race of human/alien hybrids immune to the black oil virus. That’s you.”

 

            Sandra thought for a second, “So, if I’m immune to this virus, then what will happen to me?”

 

            “I think you will become some sort of slave for the aliens.”

 

            Sandra was appalled, “A slave, I have a choice of dying or becoming a slave. Why aren’t we fighting the aliens rather than working with them.”

 

            Alex smiled at her, “Exactly. That’s what I think. There is this other group of aliens called the Rebels, they’ve sealed their mouths, noses and eyes so they can’t be infected with the black oil.”

 

            Sandra stood up, “So if we worked with them…”

 

            Alex stood up too, “You don’t want to work with them, they’ll just kill you. But there is a group that was formed only a little while ago called the Resistance.” Alex let her absorb that.

 

            “That’s the thing you wouldn’t tell me about. They hired you to kill me, didn’t they?”

 

            Alex nodded his head and then after a few moments spoke again, “But I don’t think that they see that you could be useful.”

 

            Sandra didn’t like the sound of that, “Useful how?”

 

            Alex considered for a bit, “Well we don’t really know what you’re fully capable of yet. I’m sure you have other ‘abilities’ other than healing people. Maybe one day we’ll find out you can fly.” Alex said jokingly.

 

            Sandra shook her head, “I am never flying.” She then sat down on the other side of the bed and got in. Alex did the same.

 

            “Can you tell what I’m thinking?” Alex asked after a few seconds.

 

            “I’m not having sex with you.”

 

            “Okay. That one doesn’t count.” Nick thought about the color red.

 

            “Yes, I do think you’re an idiot, now good night.”

 

 

Chapter 14

 

            Alex snapped open his eyes, but was careful not to move. A sound had woken him up and until he was sure of the source, he didn’t want his presence known. He felt Sandra moving next to him, having also heard the noise. He gently placed his hand over her mouth and told her to be quiet.

 

            After scanning the room, Alex realized the noise was coming from the outside. They both had sat up halfway, when they saw a branch outside the window move and a dark figure cross in front.

 

            Alex made a gun shape with his fingers, silently asking where it was. Sandra thought for a second, weighing her decision. She had hidden the gun from Alex on purpose but then again, she’d rather he have it than them being unarmed. She pointed to under the sink and Alex, staying close to the floor, crept across the room the whole time keeping his eye on the door.

 

            They heard something step on the outside porch and slowly walk towards the door.

 

            Alex motioned for Sandra to come stand next to him behind the door. She did so just as she heard a knock on the door.

 

            Alex had put the chain bolt on the door before, so when he opened the door, it only opened a few inches and his gun was pointing straight out the space.

 

            On the other side of the door, they heard an elderly yelp and then someone falling down the two steps of the porch and landing in an “oomph.”

 

            Sandra pushed Alex and his gun out of the way to look out the small crack. Outside, an old man, in his early eighties, was lying where he had fallen off the porch, looking so scared that Sandra thought he might cry.

 

            She quickly closed the door, unlatched the chain and threw the door open. She gave a glare to Alex before rushing outside to the man.

 

            “Sir, are you okay?” He mumbled something but Sandra didn’t catch it. “I’m sorry, we didn’t mean to scare you,” she looked at Alex, “we thought you were an intruder.”

 

            Alex came over to help the man up and the man managed to stutter out some words, “I…I own the farm…next door.”

 

            Alex helped him up the stairs and into the cabin, where Sandra had already turned on the lights and grabbed a chair and a glass of water for him.

 

            As he slowly sat down and sipped on the water, the color in his face began to return. “I saw the car outside, nobody’s supposed to be here, so I thought maybe you were criminals…or something.” He looked away from them.

 

            Sandra smiled, “This is my uncle’s cabin, you must be Mr. Pass.”

 

            He smiled, “You’re Danny’s niece?” She nodded, then she motioned to Alex, “This is my…fiancé Alex.” Alex smiled back.

 

Mr. Pass smiled apologetically at them, “Oh, I’m sorry.” He got up from his chair and walked towards the door. Then he paused, “You two wouldn’t happen to be in any trouble with the law would you?”

 

Alex and Sandra stole a glance at each other, then smiled brightly and Sandra said, “Not really.”

 

“Oh,” Mr. Pass opened the door, then paused again, “You wouldn’t happen to have one of those ‘hit men’ after you?”

 

Alex’s eyes open wide for a moment, then he walked towards the older man, “Mr. Pass, would you like me to walk you home?”

 

The man smiled, getting the hint, “No thank you, have a good night,” and left.

 

Sandra looked over to Alex once he was gone, “I’m surprised you didn’t shoot him.”

 

Alex glared her down, “I’m surprised you didn’t tell him you were part alien.” Then, he turned and went back to bed.

 

 

Chapter 15

 

           

            Alex Krycek had, for most of his life, taken his job as his life. Then again, in his line of work, you couldn’t simply clock out at 5 and go pick up the kids from dance class. He ran his life by a set of rules dictated by his job: no relationships; no trust; no pity and that the end always justified the means.

 

            As Alex sat across from the bed, looking at Sandra, who was still asleep, he started to think about life a little differently. All the principles he had lived by for the past ten or fifteen years, were, since meeting Sandra, seeming incredibly barbaric.

 

            Did the end really justify the means? Or is the point lost if we neglect and abuse the object we are trying to preserve?

 

            Alex rubbed his hands over his face, he had been doing way too much self-analyzing, no thanks to that sleeping form over there. Alex smiled despite himself, she was the cutest thing he thought he had ever seen. She was wearing a blue tank top that she’d had on for the past four days, along with a pair of tight black pants, hidden under the sheets. She had a white blouse but it was thrown over the bedside table.

 

            She probably wasn’t used to having to wear the same clothes for days straight but as he looked down at himself, he saw he wasn’t doing all that much better.

 

            Alex got an idea and crept over to where the blouse was and checked the size and then he moved to her pants. This was a little harder. When he pulled back the blankets to look at pants, he found she wasn’t even wearing them. She was only in pale blue panties.

 

            Technically he had seen her naked but he hadn’t really been in a ‘looking’ mood, now he was. He couldn’t tear his eyes off her, even though he knew that if she caught him looking at her, she would slam his head into the wall. Or maybe not?

 

            Alex moved away, distracting himself from thinking about what could happen, and looked for the pants. They were tucked under the bed and Alex quickly got the size and got out of there.

 

 

 

A/N: Thanks for reading, please respond!