Immigrant Blues

One-a day I'm-a go to Chicago to a bigga hotel. I'ma hongry, so I go-a downa to da ristorante to getta som'tin ta eat. I sidda down adda table, an I look. I see I gotta spoon ana knife, butta no fok. Ana da wetress, she come-a up to me an aska waddo I wan. I tella her, "I wanna fok." She tellsa me everybody wanna fok. I tella her, "No, you no unnerstan. I wanna fok on-a da table." She tellsa me "You bedder no fok on-a table, you sominabeach!"

So I get mad an-a go back ta my room. I geddup dere an I'ma look atta bed. I see dere's a blanket, a pillow, butta no sheet. So, I callsa da desk. Dey say, "Canna helpa you?" I tells em, "I wanna sheet." Dey say, "So, go to da toilet." I tells em, "No, you no unnerstan. I don' wanna go to da toilet. I wanna sheet.. on-a da bed." Dey tella me, "You bedder no sheet on-a da bed, you sominabeach!"

So, now I'm-a really mad. I go to checkout. Afta I checkout, dis guy say "Peace to you." I say, "Peece on-a you to, you sominabeach, 'cause I'm-a go back to Italy!"

CountryPhil's Fun House