Niji
by : T-chan
I don't know how well I can deal with this; it did hurt. And it still does.
I never know things can be this hard. I never know feeling something can be this painful. Have I known long ago, I may have chosen a different path from that of I have chosen....maybe not to have feelings, maybe to remain a statue, maybe just to rot and decay in earth.
She's gone, they have said, not only but half an hour ago. My Sun. I know somebody has killed her, otherwise, she won't have died that easily. But who...? I stare deep in space as I drive my car in the road that seem to stretch past a hundred mile. I hear rumors. Rumors I never paid a single bit of my attention to. My hair flips wildly as the wind hits my face in rapid pace. Some say it is that is the government. Some the cops. One person says it's Akai. I don't know. I have no clue. I never cared. I guess I cared too late. Everything is happening fast. So fast.
She's gone . That voice repeats itself unto my ears, nonstop as I clench the steering wheel with one hand, while the other rests by the window. She's gone. She's gone. The sentence make almost no meaning to me anymore. I can not cry, no matter how I want to. I can not make myself do anything but drive my red Miatta, past the hospital she has been in. Past the cemetery. Past the world.
Why must she die?That voice hunts me over and over again, clear and loud enough to make me insane. So I do not listen. The voice is telling me....it is all my fault. Something from within is bugging me, trying to shake up the conscience of this hard person that I am. Though it doesn't have any proofs on its accusations, it is hurting me. The voice knows the truth. The truth that I have been hiding from. The truth the no one in the world dared to slap on my very face. And it hurts.
So many emotions come to me, all at the same time. Regret. Sadness. Shame. Relief. Anger. Dissent. I don't know how life without her can be. My Dragon. My life.
All of the sudden, I lose my direction. I don't know where I'm going. I just drove and drove my car in full speed. It is fast, but my world is otherwise all of a sudden. It is slow. In fact, from the fast speed it decreases to a mere halt in my realization. It all happen so fast, yet my world stopped spinning and mainly just froze the very moment I learn of her loss. It is so fast I can not cope up, no matter how fast I drive.
I find myself going to the bar. I didn't stay there for long, just stopped by to get a bottle of booze and with a nod to Señor Melecio, head back to my Miatta and drove off, heading for one place I least expect.
Wherefore I always expect to alone, I find a figure, standing at the edge, all in white. Female, I thought to myself, noticing her white frock swaying with the wind of the calm bay. I used to hate all forms of feminine existence, but when I met her, everything changed. But it is not her. It can't be her. My beloved Dragon. She's dead. I shook my eyes, to clear the vision. My Dragon doesn't wear frocks. Not even when she died.
But it is not vision. I decide to walk near and touch it. I can no longer trust my eyes. To see is no longer to believe.
Before I can even reach her, the figure spoke. "She's gone, Lee."
The voice is cold; calm. And ....... sad. I know that voice. Mori. She is fourteen when I first met her. A friend of my Dragon's. Now she's three years older, but still as calm and cold as she is three years ago, even towards me, as though no friendship ever existed. Nothing changes. I wonder how she can stay that way in such condition. Lying is good, to make you going. Pretending is good, that is to console yourself. But she...I do not know if she is pretending or not anymore. I guess all these years I never know that girl. That voice beneath the emotionless face... It can't be that she's pretending. It can't be that she's lying. Her friend died and she is acting as icy as ever. Can't she feel anything? Or is it that the mask she wears has become a part of her?
"I know, " I reply walking beside her, watching the pomp of the scene. Scattered all around are the ships, most of the time designed for warfare, some private yachts, colorful sails and hovercraft. Some other ships I know bear the name of business companies, but they resemble almost to that of army ships in their quest to protect themselves from pirates. The most of evident of which is an oil tanker that is blocking the setting sun with its huge ugly, rusting body, labeled 'Niji' . It belongs to Akai, the corrupt but powerful bastard. I fiddle with the bottle of booze in my hand. Before us, barely a meter away, is a grave. All I know is that is the grave of the girl my Dragon accidentally killed. She have been so sorry, and buried her victim herself. But I know the girl already forgave her. Something in me is telling me so.
It is only that time that I notice Mori holding a blaster. She clutches it in her left hand, probably trying to hide it from me as I stood to her right. But she knows I know about it, though I ignore it as I marveled at the view. It is so refreshing to see that no armed conflict is going on, not even a single one. The war is over. My Dragon is dead. Peacefully I must say, for she has killed off most of those she vowed to. Quite a number, some innocent, mostly fiend. Sadly, but not all. Her affairs aren't through yet, though. Maybe that is why I'm still alive. And Mori. It is her legacy to both of us, the two who failed to keep their promise, shame on us . She has an unfinished business and the best we can do is to live her principles for freedom, those which she died and killed for. I decide to tell Mori my thoughts, nonetheless I am aware it interests her none. "The war is over, woman. Throw the damned gun and live life Rei died for. She'd like that."
A retort comes stiffly. "Rei's dead, Lee. That is because we fail to keep our promise. Don't you feel bad? We both made pact to protect her. What is this life in exchange for hers?" She is looking far away, but as I turn, I found no trace of tears. Her eyes are not even red. "The war is not over. It just began." She raises her blaster, aiming at Niji. She claims Akai killed my Dragon. I don't know whether to believe or not, but Akai uses many people and money that even dead people can tell lies.
"Don't, woman," I advise her solemnly. The tanker will explode at the slightest crack. But that's not the bad part. The bad part is, it is Akai's property...
"Nobody tells me what to do. Not even you, Mr. ," she cut in frostily. At the moment she pulls the trigger, I threw the bottle in the way. It does not miss; the beam hits the bottle and in a second, it broke, the booze spilling over the grave. But she doesn't stop and went on pulling the trigger. The beam concentrated on Niji.
She turns to me and glares at me, hard, dropping her hand.
"Let's go, woman," I tell her, offering my hand.
She replies with a chilly eyes, but takes my hand. I put an arm around her and pulls her with me as I spin around, leading her to my car. At the corner of my eyes, I see Niji explode, its body falling into pieces creating a marvelous fireworks. A fantastic view. An non-vocal declaration of war with Akai. Now the sun is at sight. My Sun.
Author's note : I'm too tired in defining a new set of characters so I borrowed Rei and Sakura and Lee and the setting from Kagami....*sigh* why did I write this ? mainly, this reflects what is going on in my life lately. but well, i don't want to get too emotional now. Niji stands for the person I MOST DISLIKE in school, may he rest in pieces. (mayb u know him, that bastard??:)) Rei and/or the Sun stands for the precious people I lost et cetera et cetera et cetera ................ and the only way to get the sun back is to kill that o.d.b. (old dirty bastard), Niji :P
- Owari -
Niji (End)
Copyright © 990911 by T-chan
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