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John showers her with cards and gifts and little love poems. He whispers sweet nothings because they are all he knows. He is bipolar...but not enough to demand medical attention. She plays along with him because it's easy and it makes her feel good to have someone call her lovingly and treat her like a princess after all this time.

When John's not looking into her eyes he is looking just behind her to see whose eyes she's looking into. He is too busy looking into her to truly see her. John examines everything she says and does. He is looking for answers. He is looking for her ulterior-motive--he is looking for an excuse.

John says he loves her but he doesn't even know her. She only says it back because it's, even now, too easy and it still feels good to let someone call for her lovingly and treat her like a princess, even after all this time. She says it back because it's too hard not to and he is too busy making everything look perfect to notice anyway.

He asks the same questions over and over again even though the answers are clear and his arms are forever concerned with pushing people just out of her reach. He is so busy not letting anyone hurt her that he does. He is so busy making sure nothing affects her that he stops affecting her too and when he says he loves her she thinks it sounds more like a threat than anything else.

When they sever their ties he goes on and on about how scary loves is to everyone he knows and she feels it too but has no one to tell. She feels cold her he hugs her and even colder when he doesn't. Deep down she knows one cold is better for both of them. She just wishes she knew which one.

She tells herself that this is not a test, this is a real, live fairy tale. She smiles her golden smiles and kisses her frog. She is certain he is just waiting for the perfect moment to surprise her by becoming a prince. The longer she has to wait the less and less she wants him at all. When they say good-bye the crown tips off his head and he cries again. She wants to turn to him and comfort him but she's certain all he really misses is the crown. John is trying to play hero but no one here needs saved.

He says, Love sucks, but she's pretty sure he doesn't know, not the whole truth anyway. She kisses more frogs because being sixteen is bad and being a romantic is even worse.

John laughs when he hates women and cries when they hate him. She misses him when he is right there and tells him to go away when he is already gone. He says he used to love her and she still thinks it isn't funny...he still doesn't know her.

John might have very well been her very own fairy tale ending only the slipper never fit. The wound itches sometimes but it doesn't ache so she knows her happily-ever-after isn't too far off. John is a good guy and she loves him still because he has taught her the difference between a frog in a crown and a prince that eats flies.

John was too busy knocking other frogs away from her lily pad to make room for her on his and was too busy whispering sweet nothings in her ear to say anything of substance. Sometimes she thinks that Johns love for her was just an extension of his love for himself and sh'es okay with that now because there are bigger, better frogs in her pond; when she looks into their eyes they are staring back at her.