Finding Home

by
Velvet Crypt

Chapter One

Bloody hell, can I be any more of a poncy wanker? Spike thought, as he dragged himself from shadow to shadow, away from the alley behind the Bronze. Every few feet, he would stop to catch his nonexistent breath and to take a rest from the grinding of bone against bone in his chest. He hurt from head to toe; amazingly, the only place that was untouched was the knuckles of his hands, usually the first place to show damage. This time was a bit different, however. He wasn’t attacked by anything he could hit back. This time, humans attacked him.

Attacked. He snorted. What a general description for breaking nearly every bone in his body and carving pretty pictures on his flesh. He supposed he should be thrilled that none of them were poofs, and that his arse remained untouched. Remind me to be thankful when I stop seeing three alleys, he laughed wryly to himself.  So, providing I can crawl out of this maze, I don’t have any blood at my crypt, Willy’d take one look at me and throw me out on my ear. Slayer’d laugh her bony ass off at me. Don’t know where the witches live. Watcher…maybe. No guarantee, though. He was really pissed about that little pawning of his guitar thing I did. He sighed.

Well, buck up, Wil. Looks like it’s the donut boy again. Destination in mind, he blearily chose an alley and walked. After the first two alleys turned out to be walls, he nearly gave up and lay down in the alley to wait for the sun to rise, but he was damned if he’d go to his final death because of a bunch of pansy-arsed frat boys on a drunken hoo-hah. So, he grit his teeth and staggered, arms held in front of him.

Thirty minutes later, biting back bloody tears, he recognized the whelp’s yard. In his hurry to get to safety, he tripped over the curb and landed face first in the Harris’s walkway. “Bloody hell!” His body shook with hopeless laughter. “Bloody ridiculous fucking excuse for a vampire,” he bemoaned his situation. Ignoring the jets of pain racing through his chest and down his legs, he began crawling to the door, not realizing he was leaving streaks of borrowed blood behind.

Pulling himself onto the porch, he had just enough strength to prop himself against the door and bang on it twice before his demon took over and dropped his body into a coma-like state in order to heal.

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Looking at her watch through alcohol-hazed eyes, Jessica Harris wondered who the hell would be pounding on her door at two in the morning. Sighing, she carefully set her glass on the table; wouldn’t do to spill the liquor on the carpet. Her husband got very angry when he could smell alcohol from a source other than a bottle or his own soured pores. She stepped to the door with the very precise walk that only the very drunk have mastered.

Opening it, she gave a shriek as a body fell inwards to lie at her feet. “Xander!” she screamed, pressing her hand to her heart.

Downstairs, Xander flung the remote down and leapt from his bed. Racing up the stairs, he grabbed the baseball bat from behind the door, ready to combat whatever Sunnyhell evil dared invade his house.

He pulled up to an abrupt halt as he took in the picture before him. His mother, in her robe, obviously drunk, was kneeling at the head of the former Master of Sunnydale. Her hand was hovering over his blonde hair, as though she wanted to touch it, but was afraid to. On closer inspection, he could understand why. Spike was only recognizable by his blond hair and duster. Every other part of his face was swollen and bloody.

“Mom, get away from him,” he sighed, dropping the bat. Jess looked up at her son, eyes trailing to the bat. Resolutely she shook her head and gazed back down at the bleeding vamp in front of her.

“I hardly think he’s going to do anything, Alexander, except bleed on the carpet.” She shuddered. “Help me get him into the kitchen, Xander. God knows what your father will do if he finds blood on the carpet.”

Xander hesitated. “Mom, you don’t even know this guy. What if he’s a serial killer or something?”

Jess looked up at him as though he were insane. “I may be drunk all the time, pumpkin, but I’m not blind. I’ve seen him coming in and out of your room. I’ve seen him sleeping in your bed when you weren’t here. I’m guessing you’re trying to hide the fact that he’s your boyfriend. Your father would be furious to find out you’re gay. …I’m not your father.” The last was said in nearly a whisper.

Xander was too much in shock that his mother thought he was gay and not only didn’t care, but obviously had tried to help him hide it, that he didn’t even think to disagree with her about Spike being his boyfriend.

“Now, help me get your young man to the kitchen and then you can tell me all about it while we patch him up.”

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He felt the door open and his body crash through, but the pain registered as though it belonged to someone else.

“Xander!” he heard a female shriek above him. Damn it all, the whelp would never forgive him for dragging his mum into this. The last thing the whelp seemed like he wanted was for his family to have anything to do with his life. He sensed the woman’s heartbeat slow and he smelled concern…and recognition? …begin to roll off of her as he felt her sink to her knees next to him.

He heard footsteps racing up the stairs and then coming to a halt. Xander. He knew that smell anywhere. Strangely enough, just smelling the blend of soap, sweat, chocolate, and Xander-musk made him feel safe.

Stupid nancy-boy he chided himself. He’s the Slayer’s friend. He doesn’t give a rat’s ass about you unless you can help fight the big bads. Yet, he was still comforted by the boy’s smell.

“Mom, get away from him.” Right, whelp. Cause I’m so damn dangerous lying here bleeding and in a coma.

“I may be drunk all the time, pumpkin, but I’m not blind. I’ve seen him coming in and out of your room. I’ve seen him sleeping in your bed when you weren’t here. I’m guessing you’re trying to hide the fact that he’s your boyfriend. Your father would be furious to find out you’re gay. …I’m not your father.”  He could feel confusion pour off of Xander in waves.

Boyfriend? He would have liked to see Xan’s face at that particular comment, especially since it got no response. “Now, help me get your young man to the kitchen and then you can tell me all about it while we patch him up.” Spike felt himself lifted like a child. The whelp’s had gotten some muscles working at that construction job. He could almost forget that he was in enough pain to wish himself staked. Xander’s scent surrounded him. It filled him, floated over and through him. That, and amazement at being gently carried when he’d expected to be picked up like a sack of potatoes, made the tears rush back to his eyes.

Goddamn it, he cursed, as he felt the bloody tear trickle from the corner of his eye and down his face. Please let the whelp think it’s just one more streak of blood.

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Jess let a smile cross her lips as her son silently did as she asked, picking up the smaller man with a tenderness that belied the disgusted set of his mouth. She followed them into the kitchen, kicking a chair out of the way so that Xander could place his charge on the table. Narrowing her gaze, she leaned over the unconscious man. Was that— What the hell? Was that a bloody tear she saw fall from his eye?

“Xander?” she asked, panicked. “I think there may be something wrong with his eyes too. I think he’s bleeding from them.”

Xander frowned, reaching to turn Spike’s face to the light. What he found confused him more than actual bleeding would have.

Crying? Spike is crying? Jesus, he must really be fucked up. “Er, mom…I think it’s just, um…a trickle of blood from his, um, his scalp,” Xander made up quickly, gently wiping the offending thing away so his mother would have nothing else to investigate. “Um, I’ll just get the first aid kit.” He rummaged under the kitchen sink for a moment and came up with a well-stocked first aid kit. In this house, it’s as necessary as toilet paper, he thought wryly.

He and Jess carefully began undressing the vampire. Xander was extra careful with the legendary duster, folding it up and laying it reverently on a chair. Jess didn’t comment on the way he held the duster up to his nose and inhaled, his eyes drifting closed; but she smiled. She began unbuttoning Spike’s shirt as Xander went to work on his boots. Finally, Jess went for the zipper to his jeans, and Xander yelped.

“Mom, what the hell are you doing?” Jess furrowed her brow.

“Honey, we can’t see the extent of his injuries with them on. Not to mention the fact that he’ll be much more comfy without them. It’s not like you’ve never seen it before.” She smiled again and headed for the zipper.

Xander covered her hands again. “Actually, mom, I haven’t,” he said desperately. “Spike isn’t my boyfriend. He…we…well, he needed a place to stay, and so sometimes, he stayed with me. Platonically! I’ve never seen his…stuff.”

Jess looked at him in disbelief. She knew what she saw. She saw tenderness, gentleness, and kindness in him when he touched the blond. She saw everything she’d thought her bastard of a husband had beaten out of him. Maybe he couldn’t admit it. Fine. He’d had not acknowledging it slapped into him from the time he could walk. It didn’t surprise her that he couldn’t see it.

“Well, then I suppose there’s a first time for everything, pumpkin.” And she unzipped the jeans. And she got a surprise. “Oh…my….” she whispered.

“Oh, for fuck’s sake, Spike. Buy some underwear.” Xander growled. “I’m going to get him a pair of my boxers, mom. It’ll make it much easier to work on him.” Deliberately turning his head, Xander walked back downstairs.

Fuck, fuck, fuck. What the hell is wrong with me? I am a man. I like women. Not gay here! He struggled to convince little Xander of that very same thing. Little Xander was having none of that. He’d seen something he liked and— to hell with what big Xander said— he wanted to see more.

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“Xander, we need to get him to a doctor.” Jess said worriedly. “He’s so cold. And he’s not waking up. A-and I can’t see him breathing.”  She turned scared eyes to her son.

Crap, what the hell am I supposed to do now? Just tell her? Gee, mom, sorry— but all those stories you told me weren’t true, back when I was a little boy? You were wrong. Evil does exist, and he’s lying on your kitchen table. Right.

Jess laid her head on Spike’s chest and then frantically grabbed his wrist. “Oh, dear lord, Xander…we killed him.” She breathed. “We killed him!”

She reached behind her for the phone and Xander took it from her hands. “What are you doing, Mom?” he demanded, as he held the phone out of her reach.

“Xander, this man is dead.” She poked her son in the chest with a bony finger. “We have to call the police. I always knew the police’d show up here about a dead body in the house someday.” She shook her head wryly. “Always thought it would be mine…or…” She refused to finish the sentence, but Xander knew. He saw the pain in her eyes; the knowledge that her only son could have been the one on that table and she couldn’t have done anything to stop it.

“I know, Mom.” Xander said softly, and did something he hadn’t done in nearly ten years…he touched her shoulder reassuringly. “Mom, I need to tell you some…stuff, about me. About my friends. About Spike.”

                                   _______________________________

Great. She finally noticed that I’m dead. Oh, well, was bound to happen when she started poking around my personals.

“What are you doing, Mom?”

“Xander, this man is dead. We have to call the police. I always knew the police’d show up here about a dead body in the house someday. Always thought it would be mine… or…”

What the hell? Who’d kill Xander or his mum? What did I just walk into?

“I know, Mom. Mom, I need to tell you some…stuff, about me. About my friends. About Spike.

Oh whelp, are you sure about this? Don’t really want to get staked on a kitchen table. And even if she just tells you to get  out, wouldn’t we be the nummy treats walking around Sunnydale at two in the morning?

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“I really don’t even know where to start, Mom.” He sighed, running his hand through his hair. “I guess I can either build you up to it, or lay it out naked like I found out. It’s up to you.” He watched his mother’s dark brown eyes carefully. He could see that her drunkenness was quickly receding, replaced again by fear and sadness.

“As wrong as this may sound, son, give it to me naked. The sooner we get this poor man out of our house the longer we’ll have to clean up the blood before your father gets home.”

Xander scowled. “Fine. Sunnydale sits on top of a Hellmouth, an opening to Hell. All sorts of demons and assorted nasty creatures flock to it. I work with a girl called the Slayer. You know her. Buffy Summers. She kills vampires and other demons because the Powers That Be gave her super strength and other skills. Willow, my best friend— I’m sure you remember her— she’s a witch, a really powerful Wicca. Anya? The girl I used to date? Back before dad made a pass at her? She was an ex-vengeance demon. Granted wishes to spurned women. She was over eleven hundred years old. Spike, there? Spike is a vampire. He’s undead. That’s why he’s cold. That’s why he has no pulse and isn’t breathing. Any questions?”

He watched as his mother began blinking rapidly. Her mouth opened and closed a few times. She looked down at Spike and back up to Xander. He fully expected her to run screaming from the room. Then she just wiped her hand over her eyes, took a deep breath, and nodded. “Okay. So how do we go about fixing up an undead vampire?”

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Spike wanted to grin. He really wanted to see the woman’s face, but he had to make do with his hearing and sense of smell. He heard the annoyance in Xander’s voice, but it didn’t seem to be directed at his mother. He could tell the boy was terrified to share, but also resigned. The woman smelled tired. No other word for it. She smelled tired of life. As though her entire existence spun around getting the corpse off of her table, not because a corpse was on her table, but because her husband would be angry to see blood on the carpet.

When Xander began speaking, Spike smelled a change. He heard her stand up straighter. He heard her holding her breath. He heard her wipe her face. But he smelled…change. He couldn’t pinpoint it, but she suddenly didn’t seem so ready to give up. He really wasn’t surprised to hear her ask how to fix him.

                                   _______________________________

Xander gaped at her. “Y-you…how…but I thought…he…”

“Xander, sweetie. I know this young man is technically dead, but you have to admit, he’s still in need of some serious help. Help that I am wholly uninformed on how to provide for him. You know what he is. You obviously have an idea what to do. So, tell me what to do to fix him.” Xander shook his head and vowed to try to wrap his brain around the enigma that was suddenly his mother as soon as Spike wasn’t bleeding to death on the Formica.

“Err…he needs to have his wounds cleaned, so that when he starts to heal, he won’t heal with dirt or gravel, or whatever the hell is in those cuts, inside of him. And he needs to have any broken bones set. Then he needs blood. To drink. Preferably human. It helps him heal faster.” He shut his eyes at his mother’s quick catch of breath.

“O-Okay, then I’ll start cleaning this side, you take that side. We’ll work our way down his front, then turn him over. By the time we get to his backside, I might be able to talk about the blood part without wanting to get drunk again.” Determinedly, she dipped a cloth into a bowl of warmed water and started gently brushing at the various cuts and abrasions on Spike’s body. With a small smile of amazement at his suddenly strong mother, Xander did the same.

“Last one,” Jess sighed happily, as she taped the last bandage down over Spike’s wounds.  Setting the bones had been the most difficult. It was disheartening, to say the least, that Jess had been able to locate each bone and pull it back into place with a capable assurance that spoke volumes about how many times she’d had to do so before.

“Now, for that…b-blood thing.”

Xander winced. “Remember those bags I used to put in the fridge, the red ones that I said were doctored-up V8 juice to build up my muscles for the construction job?” Jess’s eyes grew wide. “Yeah, well, that was blood for Spike. Do we have any left?”

Jess shook her head. “Your dad threw the last of them out when you were late on your rent. He said you should have been giving him the money instead of trying to impress those fa- um, men, you work with.” She blushed as she edited her husband’s speech. “Have you ever…I mean, could he drink from…us?”

Xander started. “You have no idea what you’re volunteering, Mom.” She put on the resolve face he remembered from his childhood. Willow loved that face. She’d imitated it until she’d gotten down it perfectly. He hadn’t seen it on his mother in years.

“Alexander Lavelle Harris. This man is dying. Again. Are you going to begrudge him a bit of the life-sustaining fluid that could help him because it ‘wigs you out’?”

Xander blinked. “Mom, never ever say wigs again. And yes, I am going to begrudge him. He’s an evil vampire, mom. He’ll suck you dry.”

Jess pursed her lips. “Really. So, he’s an evil vampire? Well, I trust your judgment, Alexander. I know that when you offer your trust, your friendship, your heart to someone, that they are worthy. I believe that. Now, I want you to remember the first thought that crossed your mind when you saw your Spike lying on the floor, bleeding to death. Then I want you to think of the reason you picked him up and carried him in here, making sure not to jar him, so he wouldn’t be in any more pain. Then, I want you to think, really think, why you told me that he was a vampire. I could have called the police. Told them some vagrant died on my doorstep. They would have taken him away and he would have died on their hands, not ours. Think, son. Think hard. When you’re done, I’ll be in the bathroom, trying to find one of your father’s razors.” With that, she walked away.

“What the hell is happening here?” Xander whispered, in shock. He looked down at Spike, wincing at the black-and-blue marks marring the vamp’s face. I can’t remember the last time my mother asked me for anything. Begged me for dad, yes. For herself? I don’t know.

“Okay. Fine, Mom. So, here I am…thinking.” He narrowed his eyes. “The first thought I had when I saw you bleeding. Well, that’s simple. I thought…well, I thought…” He fought to spew acidic commentary to Spike’s unconscious ears, but to no avail.

“Fine,” he groused. “I was scared. Rationally, I knew that you couldn’t be dead. You weren’t a pile of ash. But I was still scared.”

Oh, I’m gonna get even with her for this. “Why did I pick you up… well, duh. But, pick you up nicely…well, what did you expect, you bleached bastard? You look like shit. See question one, and ask yourself if one more injury would have done you in?” He gritted his teeth and growled at the pale vamp. “I hate you. Why did I tell my mom you were a vamp? How the hell should I know? It seemed reasonable at the time? You were a corpse.”

He paced back and forth in front of the table. “Fine. Okay! Fine! You’d be too weak to crawl out of the morgue. No one would feed you. You’d crawl into the sun in starved desperation. You’d incinerate. And I wouldn’t have anyone left to make fun of.” He looked guiltily at the door his mother had disappeared into and kicked the cabinet. “Argh! And I didn’t want you to die. There! Happy? Geez, you are such an asshole, Spike.” He stomped off to see how his mother was doing.

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Spike was in agony. Though they were both as gentle as they could be, he could feel the dirt grinding into the wounds and the bones grinding together. He was a bit nervous about letting the chit yank on his broken bits, but figured he could always re-break them later and set them himself. He was surprised when she set them perfectly. One usually only became that adept at bone-setting if they were employed in the medical field, or got the shit kicked out of them regularly. But Xander’d never mentioned his mother was a nurse.

He breathed a figurative sigh of relief when the woman taped the final piece down. Then she shocked him once again. Offering her blood? What the hell? He had to agree with Xander on this one, regardless of how badly his mouth watered at the thought of sweet, thick, human blood sliding down his throat…but, no. She seemed very determined; enough so that she presented Xander with a guilt trip, all nicely packaged up and tied with a bow.

What a woman. Spike chuckled to himself. He waited in rapt fascination as Xander soundlessly fought with himself over his mother’s request. And then he listened in confused warmth as Xander growled his thoughts at the ‘unconscious’ vampire. Well, well, well. Spike rolled the ideas around in his brain. The whelp likes me!

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“No, honey, not like that, you’ll bleed too much.” Jess took the blade away from her son’s hand before he slit his veins open. “You cut crossways over the wrist and it bleeds, but not enough to kill you.” She demonstrated in the air over Xander’s wrist, and then handed the blade back to him. Xander gave her a long look, then gently lifted her hand and turned it over. Blushing, she looked away as Xander saw that she had firsthand knowledge…several times…of that very fact.

He placed a soft kiss on her wrist and then cut his own. He hissed a bit as he felt his skin separate, but didn’t hesitate as he pried the vamp’s lips open and forced his wrist against Spike’s cold lips. For a long moment, nothing happened, and he began to worry, then he felt the soft brush of a tongue against the cut. In another moment, Spike had latched onto the cut and was milking it, running his tongue over and around it.

Xander had a moment of vertigo as he realized he was letting a vampire— more specifically, Spike— drink from him. Another when he realized that the tugging was vaguely arousing him. It began as a slight burning in his wrist and spread up his arm in a warm wave. He could feel the tingling racing through his brain and flooding his chest. It curled its way down through his belly and made its home at the juncture of his thighs.

He heard a small moan and vaguely realized it came from his own throat. His world narrowed to the warmth filling his body and the tiny flicks of Spike’s tongue against his flesh. He nearly cried in disappointment when that tongue pushed his wrist out of the vamp’s mouth and Spike’s lips closed him out. He came back to reality with a crash. He felt the blood loss and realized that, somehow even unconscious, Spike had known when to stop.

Swaying, he grabbed the table for support, and felt the back of a chair pushed against his legs. “Thanks, Mom,” he whispered, laying his head down on the table. His head brushed Spike’s cool thigh, and unconsciously, he moved closer to that coolness, pushing his forehead into the vamp’s leg.

“My turn,” Jess said, with a chirp. Just to hide the fact that you’re terrified out of your mind, Jessica. She’d not missed the strange reaction of her son.  Taking a deep breath, she split her skin. As she held her hand to the vampire’s— oh lord, a vampire— lips, she noticed her hand was shaking. Setting her chin, she pried Spike’s lips apart and thrust her wrist inside.

After a moment, she felt a gentle suction begin. It didn’t hurt. It certainly didn’t provoke the reaction in her that it had in her son. It reminded her of suckling her own son twenty years ago, and she gently smiled.

Moments later, she felt the pressure release and she pulled her arm away, pressing a cloth against the cut to stop the bleeding. With an almost tender touch, she wiped away a stray drop of blood from the corner of Spike’s mouth and then set about bandaging her wrist and Xander’s.

“Let’s put him to bed, Xander.”

Xander sighed. “Well, the safest place is downstairs. So I guess I’m out a bed for however long it takes him to wake up.”

Jess looked at her son innocently. “Why would you be out a bed? It’s big enough. You can share.” She held in a chuckle at her son’s astonished expression.

Xander sighed and finally nodded. Bending down, he gently lifted the smaller vampire into his arms again and carried him downstairs. Jess bustled ahead of him and tsked in dismay at the state of the bed. She made Xander hold Spike while she changed the sheets and pillowcases. Xander complained, but she noticed that it didn’t make him set the vamp down… nor did it in any way cause him to nuzzle the blonde’s hair, inhaling a lungful of the scent that was Spike’s own.

Eventually, she was done, and Xander reluctantly placed his burden under the covers, tucking him in. Jess sat on the bed and rested her hand on Spike’s covered leg. Motioning for Xander to sit as well, she was not surprised when her son propped himself up against the headboard and took the vamp’s head into his lap.

“This has got to be the oddest thing I can recall doing,” Jess grinned

Xander returned her grin. “Yeah, it’s kind of neat to wrap someone else up for once. I got to use both hands!”

Jess nodded. “I hate when he hurts my arms. I’d much rather he just sticks to punching me in the gut, or even the face. Once he gets the arms, it’s pretty much impossible to take care of the rest of yourself.”

Xander sighed, absently beginning to run his fingers through Spike’s platinum curls. “I don’t know. I think my least favorite place is the face. The arms, you can at least hide. Everyone knows when he gets you in the face.”

They sat in contemplative silence for long moments, each lost in their own world of remembered pain; Jess stroking Spike’s leg through the covers, and Xander strangely comforted by the feel of Spike’s hair over his fingers.

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What the hell was happening? Spike couldn’t understand why he was being treated like his health mattered to anyone. Usually, he got an ‘Oh, look…Spike is hurt. Guess we can’t fling him in front of the demons for cannon fodder tonight’. Never in his unlife had another person, save his sire, ever taken such care of him when he’d coma’d. Not even Dru, who was most likely to twirl inanely around him for hours pretending he was playing possum with her.

And look at him now…bandaged, fed the very lifeblood of his rescuers, tucked gently... by Xander? …under the covers of Xander’s own bed, with Xander’s fingers running through his hair, while the boy and his mother sat on the bed discussing the merits of where to take a hit. Bizarre. Wholly pleasant and nothing he was going to try to get out of, but… still bizarre.

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“So, tell me how you and Spike met.” Jess drew her legs up underneath her, settling in.

Xander grinned. “I was offered to him as a toy by another vampire.” Jess just stared at him.  “Sorry, Mom,” he twirled a curl around his finger. “There’s a lot of stuff you don’t know. About me, about Sunnydale.”

“So, tell me,” she answered quietly.

“Okay,” He sighed. “Demons are real. Vampires are real. Werewolves are real. Ghosts are real. Magic is real. Curses are real. Hell is real.” He stopped and raised an eyebrow questioningly. Jess nodded, though her hands were whitened by the grip she had on the bedcovers. “Sunnydale was built on an opening to hell, called the Hellmouth. Weird things are drawn here, mostly to try to take over being in charge of the city, or to try and  open the Hellmouth. My friend Buffy is what’s called a Slayer. She’s like a superhero chosen to fight the icky bad nasties and preserve the good.” Jess tried to put that label on the bright, sunny blonde child who came calling for Xander every so often.

“Willow, well, she and her girlfriend Tara are witches. Wiccans, actually.” Little Willow? A witch? “My friend Giles, he used to be the librarian at the high school, well, he is in charge of taking care of the Slayer; training her and such. He’s called a Watcher. He belongs to a big Council in England that’s out to extinguish all vampires. Like Spike. But unfortunately, the Initiative got to Spike first. The Initiative is this big military organization that hunts demons. They picked Spike up and experimented on him. They put some chip in his head so that he can’t hurt humans. It zaps him if he does.”

“ How horrible!”  

“He’s been working with us for a while so the Initiative won’t get him. That’s why he was staying down here with me. Though, the Initiative is gone now, and I really think he’s just working with us cause he needs to kill something sometimes and since we’re demon magnets, he always has his pick…that and I think he might like us.” Jess smiled at the wry look her son shot the vampire.

“So, when did you start having feelings for him?” Xander choked on his own spit. After a moment or two of gagging and gasping, he just sat and stared at his mother’s serious brown eyes.  “Don’t try to tell me you feel nothing for him.” She shook her head. “I’m watching you right now.” She looked pointedly at the hand twined in Spike’s hair.

Xander sighed. “Christ, mom, I don’t even know. One minute he was the Big Bad, trying to kill us, the next he was this incredibly brave and loyal guy trying to save his girlfriend from death at the Slayer’s hand. And that was before he got chipped. Afterwards, it was hopeless. I wanted so badly to fall for some gorgeous girl, some gorgeous human girl. But no, every time I would close my eyes I’d see his annoying blue eyes. You should see his eyes, Mom. They’re like pools of—”

He stopped as his mother smirked at him and poked her with the toe of his shoe. “Shuddup, I’m reminiscing.” He grinned. “Then, when I heard what the Initiative had done to him, I wanted to hunt them down and kill them. I don’t suppose you knew I spent a stint in the tenth grade being possessed by the spirit of a hyena, did you?” She widened her eyes and shook her head. “Yeah, well, it instilled this weird pack mentality in me that I haven’t been able to shake.”

He shrugged. “I guess, no matter what he’d done, he was pack. I wanted revenge for him. But, that wasn’t about to happen. Not from a member of the Scooby gang! That’s what our group calls itself, by the way. I pretended to hate him. I was horrible to him. Mean, angry, rude. I’m kind of ashamed of myself, looking back on it. We kept him chained up in Giles’ bathtub until we were sure that he wasn’t going to kill us.” Jess looked horrified, and Xander couldn’t blame her. He was disgusted at the things he’d done to the vamp.

“Then Giles got company, so he came to stay with me. Christ. I tied him to a chair. I guess that’s where I really started to notice him. I’d lay awake at night listening to him whimper in his sleep. He’d beg for ‘them’ to stop. For the pain to stop. I bet he uttered every word of what he was thinking as they carved his head open. I’m pretty sure that he didn’t say it to them, though. That’s probably why he’s still dreaming it. Cause he wouldn’t let himself say it to them.” Xander watched the tears welling up in his mother’s eyes.

“Did you know they carved him open without putting him to sleep? Or deadening it? They hacked their way through his skull and shoved that metal chip into his brain and he felt every single second of it. When he gets into his dreams, he’s really hard to wake up. I tried kicking him, pushing him. Hell, I even knocked his chair over once. But he wouldn’t wake up.” He shuddered and unconsciously wrapped his hands protectively around Spike’s scalp.

“Finally, I couldn’t stand it anymore. I had to do something. It was like watching a dog just run over by a car, dying slowly. So, I held him. I couldn’t believe it. All the shit I did to him, and the only thing that got through was when I barely touched him,” he stared down at the sharp planes of Spike’s face in wonder. “But, that’s when he responded. He cuddled into me, like I was his great protector. He stopped whimpering and shaking. He stopped crying. He’d fall back into a comfortable sleep. He never woke up, though.”

Both Jess and Xander jumped at the sound of a crash upstairs. They looked at each other with eyes that were dead again.

He was home.

Jess took a deep breath and stood. “I’ll take it tonight. You stay with him.” She leaned over and kissed Xander on the forehead. After a moment of hesitation, she also kissed Spike on the forehead. Quietly, she headed toward the stairs.

Summary:         Courage comes in all forms.

 

Xander tried to block out the sounds from upstairs. He heard yelling, obscenities flying, his mother pleading for reason. Xander didn’t know why she tried anymore. She knew that Tony Harris was never going to see reason, but every time, she tried anyway. Xander lay on the bed, next to the injured vampire, and tried to remember a time when he’d heard laughter in the house.

 

He couldn’t think of one. Absently stroking Spike’s hair, he realized that tonight was the first time he had sat down with his mother and talked since…junior high? He didn’t remember the date, only the reason: his father had walked in on him and Jesse playing with Willow and her Barbies.

 

Tony had thrown the other two kids out and dragged Xander by the hair to the living room, screaming ‘faggot, homo, girly boy’ all the way. Jessica had tried to interfere, to tell Tony that Xander didn’t know any better, that he was still a little boy. Tony had backhanded his wife into the staircase and thrown Xander on the couch.

 

Tony Harris proceeded to show his son how real men behaved. Xander sat through two hours of the raunchiest porno movies he would ever see, complete with his father’s commentary. Xander stopped being humiliated halfway through and began to be disgusted with the whole thing. Finally, Tony ordered Xander back to his room and yelled for Jessica.

 

Xander would never forget the look on his mother’s face as she walked past him down the stairs. Resignation, anger, embarrassment…but mostly fear. She tried to smile at him, to tell him it would be okay, but Xander knew better. Even after he locked himself in his room, he could hear them. Hear his father’s rhythmic grunts, his mother’s infrequent cries of pain. Soon though, those sounds stopped and the TV came on. Xander knew his father had settled down for another drunken night.

 

Jessica came to his room later. They sat til the wee hours of the morning, talking about what had happened… Xander’s part at least. She refused to acknowledge anything that occurred after Xander had gone to his room. Jessica explained what all the words his father called him meant. She gave him the birds and the bees lecture. She warned him about never bringing home any girlfriend…or boyfriend. She told him she didn’t care which as long as he was happy. She’d support him no matter what.

 

And she had. Xander knew that what his father had done to her that day was his fault. He knew she didn’t blame him, but still…if he hadn’t been caught, none of it would have happened. He also knew that she would endure it over and over again to protect him, to protect his right to love whomever he wanted. Just like she was doing now.

 

He heard the first sound of flesh hitting flesh and he tensed. “Fuck.” he whispered. He shifted Spike’s head out of his lap onto the pillow and got to his feet. “I’m sorry, Spike. I have to go. He’s hurting her again. This is my fault. It’s always my fault and she always pays for it.” He brushed a lock of hair off of Spike’s forehead. “Don’t worry. I won’t let him hurt you too.”

_____________________________________________________

 

Spike cursed his incapacity. He could hear more clearly than Xander what was going on upstairs. He heard Tony screaming insults at Jessica, throwing things at her. He could hear when Tony found the bloody table in the kitchen and when Jessica tried to tell him she cut herself while cooking. He could almost see her waving her bandaged arm in front of the bigger man like a white flag of surrender.

 

Tony obviously wasn’t listening. Or he just didn’t care. He accused her of ruining his day on purpose. That he busted ass all day at work and only wanted to come home to what he rightfully deserved: a perfectly clean house, dinner, a fridge loaded with beer, and a woman with her legs spread.

 

Spike could hear Jessica stammering apologies as Tony got louder and louder. Leave it alone, luv, Spike thought. It’s only making it worse. You’re only provoking him by playing the victim. But she didn’t stop. And he wasn’t surprised when the slap echoed across the upstairs room.

 

He knew Xander had heard that. The boy tensed up like a violin string. Spike felt his head being gently lifted and set on the pillow. He was disappointed for a moment at the loss of warmth, but then Xander started speaking. Spike wanted to tell him it was no one’s fault. Tony Harris was a bastard and would have found some excuse if this one hadn’t presented itself, but Xander was already moving up the stairs. He strained his ears to hear what the older Harris would do to his humans.

 

_____________________________________________________

 

“Please, Tony, just go to bed. I’ll clean it up and you won’t even know it was here by tomorrow morning.” Jessica begged, holding her face.

 

“It should never have been here in the first place, you stupid bitch!” Tony bellowed and raised a hand to hit her again. She closed her eyes and flinched away, preparing herself to roll with it. But it never came. She cracked her eyes open to see Xander between her and his father.

 

“You little faggot! What the hell do you think you’re doing?” Tony glared at his son.

 

“You aren’t going to hit her anymore.” Xander stated in a voice much more steady than he felt. Inside, he was trembling in terror. What the hell was he doing standing up to his father? You didn’t do this! You never stood up to your father. You obeyed unquestioningly and maybe nothing would get broken. But when he saw his mother flinch away; resignedly accepting the abuse, he stopped thinking rationally. He just reacted.

 

Darting across the room, he’d caught the older Harris’s arm as it whistled downward. It was surprisingly easy. All the years of trying not to get hit by the monsters of the Hellmouth seemed to have improved his chances at not being hit by the monster of the Harris home. Xander slowly and deliberately forced his father’s arm down. Tony tried to fight it, but Xander was stronger.

 

“Mom, go.” Xander said, never taking his eyes from his father’s face.

 

“Xander, I-”

 

“Go, Mom!” he barked, as she hesitated. He heard her head for the bathroom.

 

“You’ll pay for this, you little bastard,” Tony growled.

 

Xander nodded. “I’m sure I will, Dad. And I’m okay with that. Just make sure you never touch my mother again.” He increased the pressure on his father’s wrist until the older Harris winced. Xander then saw something he had never associated with his father. Certainly never because of something Xander did. He saw fear in those bleary brown eyes. Fear of Xander.

 

And though his initial reaction was satisfaction, he quickly realized that it made him feel sick. He released Tony’s arm and the older man fell onto the couch. After a moment of utter silence in which the Harris men stared at each other appraisingly, Tony stood and retrieved his coat. He didn’t look back as he slammed out of the front door.

 

Xander stood for a moment longer, hearing the roar of his father’s car and the squeal of the tires as Tony peeled out of the driveway. Then he dropped to his knees and began sobbing. Jessica was there instantly. She wrapped her arms around her son and rocked him as she had when he was little, when his father had hit him and Xander hadn’t understood why, hadn’t understood that Tony really didn’t need a reason.

 

“It’ll be all right, Xanny,” she whispered. “It’ll all be okay.” She gently maneuvered him into a standing position. “Come on, Xanny-boy,” she encouraged, hoping the return to a pet name from a safer time would bring him back to her. “Let’s go downstairs.”

 

Xander allowed himself to be manipulated, but he never let go of Jessica. She knew that Tony probably wouldn’t be home until after work the next day, so she was perfectly fine in staying with Xander as long as he needed. She sat him on the bed, next to the blonde vampire and kissed his cheek.

 

“Sweetie? I’m going to get some ice for my face. You stay here and take care of your vampire. I’ll be back in a minute.”

 

He hesitated for a moment, then rolled over and buried his face in Spike’s side. Jessica headed to the kitchen.

_____________________________________________________

 

Spike was so proud of his boy, standing up to the bastard like that. Of course, Spike also knew that Xander had just set himself up for a world of hurt later, but he had reacted. That was a start. When Jessica brought the boy back downstairs, Spike could smell the fear and the shame on him. When Xander snuggled in close to him, he could smell some of the fear fading. He chuckled inwardly at the idea that Xander would feel protected by an unconscious, chipped vampire who’d tried to kill him not too long ago. But it made him unreasonably happy as well.

 

When Jessica came back, she had a bag of ice and a cool washcloth. She gently wiped away the tears from Xander’s face. Spike could feel her gaze transfer to him. It was heavy, as though it pierced his skin and saw through him. After a moment of hesitation, she slid under the covers next to him. He felt her place an arm above his head and could tell that she had linked hands with her son. She, too, snuggled down next to Spike. Soon after, the vampire heard the change in heartbeats and breathing, and realized that mother and son had fallen asleep wrapped around him.

 

He didn’t try to wrestle meaning out of it, or out of the warm feeling growing in his chest. He simply allowed himself to follow them into slumber.

_____________________________________________________

 

When he woke, he found he was able to function. He opened his eyes and lifted his head; taking a quick glance around, he saw that Jessica had risen for the day, not too long ago either. The impression of her body was still warm. Turning his head in the other direction, he found himself gazing into the sleeping face of Xander Harris.

 

Spike’s eyes softened and he smiled. The boy looked about five when he slept. His hair was tousled and his lower lip stuck out slightly in a very adorable pout. All the worry and fear Spike smelled the night before had disappeared and Xander was nestled into the crook of Spike’s neck like a puppy.

 

“Morning.”

 

He looked up to see a small mousy woman standing at the end of the bed. Her eyes looked tired, but her smile lit up her face. “Morning, luv,” he returned softly. “You must be Xan-pet’s mum.”

 

Jessica nodded. “How are you feeling?”

 

“Like I got the shit kicked out of me,” he grinned. “But better. You’re a quick hand with the bone setting, luv. It’s nearly healed.”

 

 Jessica looked confused. “How did you know I set your arm?”

 

Spike gave her a piercing look from beneath fringed eyelids. “When a vampire gets hurt as badly as I did, their body shuts down. They may not fall unconscious, but they are unable to respond to anything. The ears and the nose still work, though. And the nerves.”

 

Jessica looked horrified. “So, you…”

 

He nodded wryly. “Yeah, I heard everything you and the whelp said last night.”

 

Jessica shook her head. “No, you were awake the whole time we were setting your arm, washing you off, stitching you up? Oh, God, the pain must have been horrible!”

 

Spike just stared at her, dumbfounded. She blinked away tears of sympathy. “What?” She asked, smiling through the tears at his bewildered expression.

 

“I think he’s just amazed that you were actually worried about him and didn’t jump him for deliberately eavesdropping on a private conversation.” Xander said, sleepily, from his position. Spike’s gaze jumped to him. He smiled lazily at the blonde. “Morning, Spike.”

 

“Errr…morning, whelp. Did I wake up in the twilight zone?” he asked, plaintively.

 

Xander laughed, then sat up and patted the bed. Jessica settled back into her spot on Spike’s other side. “Why do you ask?”

 

Spike looked from one Harris to the other. “Are you pod people?”

 

Xander ran a hand through his hair. “Not that I know of.”

 

“Then why are you being nice to me?”

 

Jessica looked offended. “Why wouldn’t I be nice to you?”

 

“Not so much you, Mom,” Xander yawned. “He means me. Why am I not being an asshole?”

 

Jessica gave him an expectant look. “Well, why aren’t you?”

 

Xander grinned at her, then turned to Spike. “I really don’t know. I just woke up and felt really happy. Which is pretty screwed up, since I pissed my father off beyond all belief last night.”

 

Jessica shuddered. “Alexander, what were you thinking?” she whispered.

 

Xander’s smile dropped away. “I’ve spent my entire life listening to him slap you around, Mom, listening because you sent me away, or shielded me when he was punching us. I’m fucking well nineteen years old, Mom. I think it’s time I stood up for you.”

 

“Watch your mouth, Xander,” she said absently, picking at her nails. Spike took her hands into his and stopped her.

 

“Mom. Last night, we saved the unlife of a one- hundred- plus year old vampire. We bandaged his wounds, fed him our own blood, and fell asleep in bed with him to protect him,” he put a finger under her chin. “If you will let me do that, why won’t you let me save you?” Jessica jerked her face away and pulled her hands from Spike’s grasp.

 

“I have to make breakfast,” she muttered and raced up the stairs. Xander watched her go, and then fell back onto his pillow with a sigh of frustration.

 

Spike turned onto his side and propped his head up. “Why?”

 

Xander closed his eyes and smiled wryly. “Why what? Why did we save you? Why are we treating you nicely? Why is my mother so stubborn?”

 

“Yeah.”

 

Xander snorted. “I can’t speak for my mom, but I saved you because…well, you’re my friend.”

 

“Bollocks.”

 

Xander opened his eyes angrily. Spike seemed perfectly calm.

 

“You lot hate me with a passion and we both know it.” Spike watched the boy’s face carefully. He saw a faraway look creep into his brown eyes and the scent of regret wafted from him.

 

“No, actually we all don’t hate you,” Xander focused on him again. “You piss me off, Spike. More than anyone I’ve ever known. Half the time I want to stake you on general principals.”

 

Spike nodded. That was the Xander he knew.

 

“But I’ve gotten used to you. To your sarcastic comments, your balls- before- brains approach to things. I know none of us show it, but you’re a part of us now. You’re like the black sheep of the Scooby family.”

 

Spike narrowed his eyes. “You saved my life because I’m a black sheep.”

 

Xander smacked him lightly on the arm. “No, you undead idiot. I saved you because I can’t imagine what our lives would be like now without you in them. You grow on people, you know. Granted, rather like a fungus, but hey…to each his own.”

 

“You saved my life because you couldn’t imagine living without me,” Spike deliberately baited the boy, and was pleased to see the eyes rolling and the chest heaving in a sigh.

 

“No, Spike. Did the bleach kill some much- needed brain cells? I mean-”

 

“I know what you mean, whelp,” Spike cut in, gently. Xander pushed at him with a bare foot and smiled. “So, why are you treating me nicely, though? I know I don’t grow that well on a person.”

 

Xander glared at the vamp and then stared straight at the ceiling. “Fine. Believe what you want to, Spike. You will anyway.”

 

Spike slipped a hand across Xander’s chest, noting with interest the quick intake of breath. He pulled the boy’s face toward him. “Tell me.”

 

Xander blushed. “You were really fucked up, Spike.”

 

“I know, pet.”

 

“I’ve never seen you so helpless,” Xander whispered, staring into bottomless blue eyes. “It scared the hell out of me. I didn’t know what to do. I thought we were going to lose you a dozen times last night. Mom seemed to think I had all the answers. I was afraid to tell her I didn’t know how to make you better.”

 

“You did everything just right, luv,” Spike whispered back. “I’m here. I’m hale and hearty.”

 

Xander swallowed against the lump in his throat. “Spike, I’m the fucking Zeppo. I can get doughnuts. That’s about the extent of my abilities, apart from providing painful distractions so Buffy can kill things. But, last night…last night your life hung in my hands,” he held up the appendages. “In these. Spike, nothing these touch ever works the same again. I fuck everything up. And…” he choked on his words, “I really had no idea how…how much I liked you, relied on you, needed you to be okay, until I looked at your blood coating my hands.”

 

Tears slipped unnoticed down his face and Spike gently wiped them away with a smooth thumb. “Shhhh,” he breathed, pulling Xander’s face against his own chest. “Shhhh, luv. I’m fine. You took care of me. You and your mum took good care of me,” he continued to murmur reassurances, until Xander quieted and stopped shaking.

 

When Xander pulled away, he flushed and avoided Spike’s gaze. “I should go help Mom with breakfast.”

 

“I feel just fine now, pet. Why don’t we both go?”

 

Xander sneaked a glance at Spike and was relieved to see no contempt or snarkiness. He was surprised to see, in their place, concern and tenderness. He gave a watery smile and nodded.

Chapter Three

Summary:         A bit of a breakfast chat.

 

Jessica lost herself in the routine that was morning. She pulled out bacon and eggs and began grating potatoes for hash browns. As she did, her thoughts drifted back downstairs. Why didn’t she let Alexander help her? Because she was the mom, dammit. She was supposed to protect her little boy. Not hide behind his coattails. She failed everything else in this life, but she wasn’t about to fail her son when he was so close to getting away from this nightmare.

 

So lost in her thoughts, she didn’t notice the potato being slowly grated away until she had grated her nail and part of her finger. “Dammit!” she hissed, sticking the offended digit in her mouth. She sighed and had started picking out the pieces of bloody potato shreds when the bowl was taken from under her nose.

 

She looked up in astonishment to see the blonde vampire pluck the grater from the counter and commence shredding. “Xanpet, get your mum a Band-Aid.” He smiled at her and nodded his head towards the table. “Sit down, luv. The boy and I can get brekkie ready.” She knew she looked like a total idiot, standing in the middle of her kitchen, hair uncombed, clothes rumpled, and her finger sticking out of her mouth, but the English lilt in his voice seemed to mesmerize her. She sat obediently.

 

Xander tugged her finger from her lips with a soft plop and stuck it in the peroxide bottle. He tilted it and Jessica felt the fizz start on her wound. He then set the bottle down and began drying off the unbroken skin. He gave her a look that brooked no argument and unwrapped a Band-Aid. With gentle care, he placed it over the injury and gave it a kiss before releasing her hand.

 

After putting the first aid supplies back, he trotted back into the kitchen and began frying the bacon. Jessica just stared, stunned, as the vampire and her son began bantering back and forth. If she didn’t know for a fact that he had no pulse, she would have sworn he was just another of her son’s friends, getting something to eat after having spent the night.

 

But, that really never happened around here, she thought wryly. Alexander had never had anyone stay overnight. He had his friend Jesse, but he always slept over there. A fact that sent Tony into a drunken fury whenever Jessica told him where his son was. But she never told her son that. Nor did she let him see the bruises that marred her flesh for letting him go.  But she hadn’t seen Jesse in years. Alexander just stopped talking about him. Maybe they had a fight, she thought.

 

Whatever happened, the boy began spending time with female friends; Willow and Buffy, and even a girlfriend for a while. That had made his father oh-so-happy. It also provided her with a few less bruises each week. She gazed at her son. A small smile came to her lips. He was so handsome. He’d filled out this last year. His shoulders were broader, his chest firmer. He trimmed his hair from the mop he’d sported nearly his entire life. And he was smiling. Like he was comfortable with it.

 

That was the most beautiful thing about him. That ‘he’ hadn’t broken his son. That Alexander could still find reason to smile, to laugh…to take in a dying man, undead or not, and nurse him to health…that he could still love his mother enough, after the horrible life she’d let him lead, to give her a boo-boo-better kiss. 

 

“Mom?” she came back to herself with a start, realizing Alexander had been calling her for some time now.

 

“Yes? Sorry, I was dazing a bit there.” She smiled. He nodded happily.

 

“How do you want your eggs?”

 

“Umm…scrambled is fine, sweetie.”

 

The vampire…Spike, she reminded herself…grinned, quirking an eyebrow. “Hey, sweetie, why don’t you grate some cheese into the eggs while you’re at it?” Xander glared mock ferociously at Spike.

 

“How bout I grate some vampire into it?”

 

“Well, luv,” the blonde grinned cheekily, “if you want to get a taste of me, you just have to ask, no need to grind off the good bits.” Xander blushed furiously and Jessica giggled. Xander looked kind of startled, but then smiled dopily at the sight his mother made…laughing…in this house.

______________________________________________________

 

 

“So, Spike is it?” Jessica asked between bites of breakfast. He nodded. “Xander said you got your name in an interesting way?” The vampire and Xander looked at each other, forks held motionless partway to their mouths. Jessica looked between the two of them. “And I’m guessing that I won’t like it?” She added.

 

Spike carefully placed his fork on his plate and wiped his mouth with the napkin in his lap. He smiled tightly at Jessica and pushed his chair back. “Thank you for breakfast, Mrs. Harris. It was nice to be…to feel…” He shrugged slightly. “It was nice.” He stood up, placing the napkin on his plate. Xander stared in astonishment at the stranger inhabiting the vampire’s body. Was he actually going to leave? Hurt and in pain? Because he didn’t want to offend Xander’s mother?

 

Jessica pinned Spike to the spot with her gaze. “Sit.” Spike opened his mouth to argue and Jessica stared him into his chair. If Xander were astonished by the vampire’s decency, he was astounded by his subservience to the diminutive human female that was Jessica Harris. “Thank you.” She lay her fork down as well.

 

“You are a vampire, correct?”

 

Nod.

 

“Though you have a military chip in your head, you have killed in the past, correct?”

 

Head droop. Nod.

 

“Do you still kill?”

 

Shake.

 

“Are you going to kill me or my son?”

 

Vigorous head shake.

 

“Do you think I’m stupid?”

 

Even more vigorous head shake.

 

“Do you think I haven’t figured out that vampire’s kill humans, and probably messily?”

 

Shake.

 

“Are you going to tell me how you got your name?”

 

Pause.

 

Pause.

 

Slow nod.

 

“Good.” She picked up her fork and began eating again. She glanced at the two males, one sitting with his mouth open and staring at the other as though he’d never seen him before; the other staring at his hands in his lap, a look of reticence on his face. “Well? Have at it.”

 

The vampire took a deep breath and closed his eyes. “I tortured humans with railroad spikes.” He nearly whispered.

 

Jessica raised her eyebrows. “Really. So who were you before you decided to change your name?”

 

“William,” he replied softly. Jessica thought about probing for a last name, but decided against it.

 

“So, what was William like? And eat your breakfast. Both of you.” She turned ‘the look’ on Xander who quickly picked up his fork and began shoveling food in his mouth. Spike was a bit slower, but he too resumed eating.

 

“William was a nobody.” Spike stated bluntly.

 

“You are William.” Jessica reminded him.

 

His head shot up. “No. I. Am. Not.” Jessica’s eyebrows went back up.

 

“Really. And why is that?”

 

Spike looked frustrated and kept shooting glances at Xander, who was trying to look as inconspicuous as possible. He sighed. “William was a bloody ponce. Everyone took advantage of him, walked all over him. No one liked him. He was ostracized from his class of people and practically forced into the arms of yet another group of people who only wanted to use him.”

 

“Kind of like now?” Xander interrupted quietly. Spike shot him a look that was partially hatred, partially resignation, and all pain…and nodded. Jessica went back to silently eating her eggs. “Spike, I don’t know why you insist on always being the Big Bad.” Xander sighed. “You do realize that you’re pushing away anyone who might have a chance of liking you?”

 

Spike snorted. “Who the bloody hell would like me, mate? I’m an impotent undead asshole.” Xander grinned.

 

“Well, you are undead, and you are an asshole…but I think Harmony might have something to say about that impotent part.” Spike winced, but smirked. “Not everyone hates you, Spike.” Xander continued. “If everyone did, you would still be laying out on my doorstep.”

 

Spike sighed. “So you don’t hate me. But you don’t like me either.” Xander frowned. “No, I don’t really like you. But I want to. And you want me to. So quit being a jackass and let me goddamn well try to like you already!” Spike tried to hide the chuckle. But it escaped him anyway. Jessica followed soon after. And Xander gave up and leaned back in his chair joining in the laughter.

 

Finally, Jessica wiped her eyes with her own napkin and gasped for breath. “Okay, Spike. Tell us about William.”

 

With an insincere sigh and a twitch of his lips, Spike did just that.

Chapter Four

Summary:         A conversation.

 

 

“Boys?” Jessica called downstairs.

 

“Yeah, Mom?” Xander’s voice answered.

 

“I need to go to the store for dinner. Someone want to play escort?” She could almost hear the groan she knew followed her announcement and she smiled. Silence reigned for long moments, but she waited patiently. Eventually she was rewarded.

 

“Be up in a mo’, luv.” The vampire’s voice floated up to her.

__________________________________________________

 

“Rummy,” Spike announced smugly, laying the cards on the bed between them. Xander growled and tossed his cards to the bed as well. Spike began counting points as Xander glared at him. “What?” He said innocently. “I told you there wasn’t a card game made that I couldn’t beat your pasty white ass at.”

 

“But how?” Xander demanded. “I taught you how to play it two hours ago. You lost the first game. Only the first game. You’ve kicked my ass every goddamn hand since then. No one is that lucky!” Spike smirked.

 

“Luck has nothing to do with it, pet. You are just way too excitable to be a card player.” Xander looked affronted. Spike chuckled and spread out Xander’s hand. “Look, here. Why’d you pick up that 7? You put at least 40 points worth of cards in your hand just to hang on to it.”

 

Xander shrugged, still mad. “I thought I could pull the 6 and 8 and make a run.”

 

Spike looked incredulously at him. “All that for a bloody 15 points?” Xander crossed his arms and sat back.

 

“So?”

 

“So, you can’t play the game by stockpiling every card in the deck on the remote possibility that you might draw its mates before I go out.” Xander snorted.

 

“That’s the point of the game, fangless. To hold cards til you draw their ‘mates’.” Spike rolled his eyes.

 

“You started with a 4, 5, and 6 of hearts. Why didn’t you put them down?”

 

“Cause I had a 6 of clubs, too, and I thought I could get a third 6 later.” Xander mumbled. Spike sighed. Xander glared at him again. “So how do you know I had a 4, 5, and 6 of hearts…cheater?”

 

The vampire grinned. “Evil here.”

 

Xander kicked gently at the vampire’s leg before gathering up the cards to reshuffle them. “Asshole.”

 

“Boys?” Jessica’s voice tumbled down the stairs. Xander looked up to the open door.

 

“Yeah, Mom?”

 

“I need to go to the store for dinner. Someone want to play escort?” Xander visibly winced.

 

“What’s wrong, mate?” Spike frowned.

 

“God, I hate going to the store with my mother.” Xander moaned.

 

“Why?”

 

Xander looked around conspiritally, then whispered, “She’s a bargain shopper. She prices everything against how many cents per ounce it is. She touches every piece of fruit, every vegetable. She has some weird freshness test for every one of them. She never takes the first box. She won’t pick up anything that is dented, scraped, or torn even if it’s the very last one.” He shuddered. “It’s a fricking nightmare.”

 

Spike shook in silent laughter. Xander frowned. “I’m serious. It’s horrible.”

 

“Be up in a mo’, luv.” The blonde called out, not taking his eyes off of the boy in front of him. “I’ll go with her.” He said in a normal voice. “Wouldn’t want to place my savior in mortal agony.” Xander kicked at him again, but Spike was pleased to see the grateful light in his eyes. With a final smirk, Spike clomped upstairs.

_________________________________________________

 

“So, you’re the sacrificial lamb, hmmm?” Jessica smiled as she negotiated the ancient car through the stoplight.

 

Spike shrugged. “Don’t mind. I actually like to cook. Don’t have much call to do it for myself…not to mention, no electricity in m’crypt. Part of the fun of cooking is the shopping.” Jessica took her eyes off the road for a moment to look incredulously at him.

 

“You just don’t strike me as the chef type.” She admitted.

 

Spike raised the corner of his mouth. “You don’t strike me as the kind of woman who’d take a vampire shopping either, luv.”

 

Jessica nodded grudgingly. “Touché, Spike.”

 

“So what’re we after?” He changed the subject, then wondered if it was for the good or not, as Jessica’s head dropped a bit and she slumped in her seat minutely.

 

“Not much, really.” She answered in a monotone. “I was just going to get some hamburger. Maybe a box of Hamburger Helper. We…we don’t have all that much to spend.” Spike could tell she was mortified at having to admit to lack of money, especially to someone she didn’t really know.

 

He found he didn’t like that. He didn’t like that she was upset, that she felt ashamed. She’d been good to him. She didn’t have to be. She could have let him die out there. Or dumped him back out on the porch when she found out what he was. But instead, she’d saved his life. She’d made him feel welcome. He closed his eyes briefly, wondering what the hell he was doing, and then sank his hand deep into one of his inside pockets.

 

He came up with a roll of cash and held it out. Jessica took one look at it and nearly swerved them off the road. She pulled it back into control and eased off the side of the road. She stopped the car and turned to look at him.

 

“What is that.” She demanded.

 

Spike fought the urge to fidget under her gaze. “Its money, luv.”

 

“I know its money, William.” She snapped at him. “I want to know how you got it.”

 

Spike couldn’t remember anyone calling him William in that tone of voice since his own mum passed on. He wasn’t sure yet whether the strange feeling in his chest was irritation or…something he wasn’t ready to put a name to yet. “It’s mine.” He said defensively. ~Good going, William. You sound like a bratty grade-schooler caught stealing a cinnamon stick.~

 

Jessica just looked at him.

 

“I swear, mum, it’s mine!” He repeated. ~Oh. Bloody. Buggering. Hell. Did I just call her mum?~ “I’m sort of…well off.”

 

“Really.” Her tone dripped sarcasm. “If you’re so well off then why do you beg your blood off of Xander and his friends?”

 

Spike frowned. “Well, it’s not like I can cause mayhem anymore,” he said sulkily. “Gotta get my jollies somehow, don’t I?”

 

“So you…get your jollies…by begging food from a bunch of people who hate you?”

 

“Hey, now! No need to be nasty about it!” He shot back, wondering why it bothered him that she didn’t believe him. “I just…I…well, I have to go over there to get it…and…well, it’s something to do, in’it?” He finished softly.

 

Jessica sat a moment, and then laid a hand on his thigh. ~What kind of lonely life he must lead to be willing to expose himself to humiliation and begging just to be with other people.~ “Of course it is,” she murmured, patting him briefly before starting the car up again and pulling into traffic. “So, where exactly did you get this ‘enormous wealth’?”

 

She knew. He bit the inside of his lip. She knew how desperate he was. The lengths he went to not be alone. Bloody observant chit. But she seemed willing to let it go, and he sent her a silent thank you for that.

 

“Well, my family was quite well off, actually.” He settled into his tale. “Shipping and such, you know. New money, though. Not old enough to have it respectably sunk into land or heirlooms. After I was turned…” He smiled wryly. “Well, let’s just say, my Sire had a habit of making sure there was no one for his childer to go back to.” He could see Jessica frown out of the corner of his eye, but didn’t want to get into the hierarchy of a vampire family right now, so he pressed on.

 

“Angelus, my Sire, killed them all. He and Dru and Darla, while I stayed home like a good little fledgling. I found out a few days later when I snuck away to see them again. They’d no one to release the family money to, so they buried them in these nasty little peasants plots on the outskirts of town.”

 

Jessica could hear the pain and anger that resonated through his brutally plain words.

 

“I found someone willing to forge papers for me in the name of one of my distant cousins. I showed up at dusk the next day claiming to have just heard of their deaths. Long story short, I showed them the papers, they gave me the fortune.” He leaned his head back against the headrest, wishing he could light up a cigarette right now. “First and only thing I did with that money for the next 120 years was buy proper headstones. Couldn’t very well dig them up, y’know. Disrespectful. But I made sure they were remembered.”

 

He fell silent for long moments, eyes closed, fingers twisted in his duster, until Jessica parked the car in the grocery store parking lot. Then he opened his eyes and looked right through her, sending a chill into her bones. “I knew Angelus would take it from me if he knew. He took everything from me. Possessions, dignity, freedom.” He bared his teeth in an imitation of a grin. “I didn’t even tell Dru. Knew she’d run back to Daddy with it. It was all I had left of them. I couldn’t let him take it too.”

 

Jessica nodded at the pleading in the blue eyes. “I know, William.” She whispered. “You did the right thing.” She assured him, not really sure what she was assuring him over, but willing to say nearly anything to take that pained look from his eyes.

 

“I didn’t touch it until the damned Initiative took away my ability to feed myself. I started pulling the money over here from England then. Putting it in banks, investing it.” He laughed shortly. “Who’d’ve thought Spike, the bleached menace, had brains enough to invest, hmmm? But I did. I’ve doubled it ten times over what I started with.”

 

Jessica bit her lip, and then spoke. “It’s your legacy, William. I can’t have you buying hamburger for the Harris family with your legacy.” Spike tilted his head, an honest smile gracing his face.

 

“It’s just money, mum. It’s currency bathed in the blood of my family. It makes me sick sometimes to spend it.” She caught her breath at his honesty.  “My mum would have liked you.” He continued. “She was a spitfire, that one. She’d’ve liked Xander too. Could never resist someone who likes to eat as much as Hollow-leg Harris. I think she’d be pleased to see the money spent on such as you two.”

 

Jessica worked her mouth, but nothing emerged. Finally she gave up and just smiled at the blonde. “Come on, William.” She said simply. “Let’s go shopping.”

Chapter Five

Summary:         An encounter of the vampy kind.

 

 

Jessica couldn’t remember a time she enjoyed shopping more. Spike had a story about every item in the store, most amusing, some horribly disgusting…some quite kinky. She giggled at the idea of listening to a male vampire tell her the merits of the ice cream aisle, but she found herself listening avidly anyway.

 

Several hours, and two full shopping carts later, they called it quits and headed to the checkout line. Spike told her to head out to the car, he’d bring the groceries. She knew for a fact he just didn’t want her to see the total, but she humored him anyway. She had the trunk open and was shifting it’s contents around to fit the food when she felt something bump her leg.

 

“Just a second, William. I’m almost done.” She called out, head deep in the recesses of the trunk.

 

“Is William as tasty looking as you, sugar?” A silky voice asked as a hand ran over her ass. She jerked upright and panicked. Three men stood in front of her, leering.

 

“What do you want?” She squeaked past a suddenly tight throat. The three grinned at each other, and when they turned back, their faces were…distorted, bumpy. Their eyes had turned yellow and their teeth had elongated. Jessica felt her heart speed up to a frantic pace.

 

“We’re just here, shopping around for a bit of a snack, sugar.” The first one smirked, causing the other two to grin, further showing their fangs.

 

“Store’s closed, wanker.”

 

Jessica nearly wept in relief at the appearance of her own vampire. The two grinning vampires turned to Spike; the first one grabbed her arm in a vice-like grip that had her whimpering in pain. “Aw, lookey here, boys. We have a hero.”

 

Spike snorted and sent the carts careening into the side of the beat up sedan. Between one breath and another, his face morphed and he stood with a disgusted look. “Please tell me you’re just risen. I can’t stand the humiliation that you’ve been around this long and I haven’t staked you yet.”

 

The fledges looked confused for a moment, then the face of the one holding Jessica lit up like a Christmas tree. “You’re Spike! You’re the traitor that kills your own kind!”

 

Spike sighed. “Traitor here, monster there…really beginning to think no one appreciates my true talents.” He launched himself at the nearest fledge, going from his relaxed stance to a lethal weapon instantly. The younger vamp slammed into a red Honda Celica, leaving a body sized dent before sliding down to the pavement.

 

His brother fledge charged Spike with a battle cry. Spike rolled his eyes and stiff-armed him. The vamp went down choking on air he didn’t need anymore. The third vamp tossed Jessica aside like a child, knocking her into one of her grocery carts. She watched in horror as this one proved to be a much better fighter than the other two.

 

Spike and the vamp traded blows. It was obvious Spike was still the better fighter, but the other vamp distracted him long enough for the first two to get back to their feet. Jessica stared, wide-eyed as all three converged on Spike. She began pawing through her bags, hoping to find something to help the blonde vamp. Garlic? Chopsticks? Something?!? Her hand closed on a cool metal canister and she held it up like the Holy Grail.

 

With a determined set to her lips, she stepped up to one of the vamps and punched him in the shoulder. He turned around, irritated and began to howl as Jessica let fly with the aerosol can of hair spray Spike made her splurge on. The vamp stumbled around, bumping into his brother vamp. That one, too, turned in irritation and went down howling as well.

 

Spike finally beat the first vamp down, slamming his boot into the fledge’s head. He took in the two vamps writhing on the ground and Jessica standing shell shocked over them, holding a pink canister, and his lips twitched. He stepped over the pile and palmed his lighter. With gentle hands, he took the can from her hands and depressed the nozzle. An evil grin came over his face and he flicked the lighter on, holding it into the mist.

 

The vamps turned into howling balls of flame almost instantly. Spike pocketed his lighter and tossed the can back into the grocery bag before leading Jessica to the passenger side of the car. He gently placed the woman in her seat and belted her in. He then moved to the back of the car and piled the grocery bags into the trunk. The screams abruptly cut off as the vamps dusted in the flames and Spike climbed into the drivers seat without a backwards glance.

_______________________________________________

 

Jessica sat staring out the window for most of the drive home. She was just attacked by vampires. Vampires! She hadn’t even believed in vampires two days ago! Now she was calmly pulling a MacGyver in the Safeway parking lot and blow torching them into dust? She began to smile at the absurdity. Then grin. Then giggle. Then she was laughing and crying and she didn’t really know which.

 

Spike pulled over and turned the car off. He sat quietly as she laughed and sobbed and laughed and sobbed. When she’d come down enough to be coherent, he offered her a bandana. She nodded her thanks and dried her eyes. “You alright, luv?” He asked quietly. She rasped out another laugh, but nodded. “Good. No injuries? Did they hurt you?”

 

She shook her head, playing with the bandana in her lap. “What the bloody hell did you think you were doing, then?” the vampire demanded in a harsh voice. Jessica looked over at him, stunned. “Why didn’t you run, you daft bint! Those were killers! Undead killers! You had no call to jump in the middle of that!”

 

Jessica’s emotions were fluxuating from her laughing/crying jag and her surprise turned just as quickly into anger. “No call to jump in the middle of what, William? You, getting your already injured ass kicked?” She snapped, poking him hard in the gut where he was still healing. He grunted in pain, but she ignored it. “They would have ganged up on you and taken you down. You’re not exactly in tiptop shape. Then when you went down, they would have chased me and killed me anyway, right?”

 

Spike just glared at her. She poked him in the gut again. “Right?”

 

He winced away from her. “I suppose.” He replied grudgingly.

 

“You suppose. Well isn’t that nice. You agree with me.” She turned back to face the front of the car and crossed her arms. “I would like to go home now, thank you.” She said coldly.

 

Spike stared at her for a moment longer then, growling, started the car and slammed it into drive. They drove the rest of the way home in silence.

_____________________________________________

 

Xander came up out of the basement when he heard the back door open. “What took you guys so long?” He called out. “See, Spike? I told you shopping with her was horrible.” He laughed. He stopped laughing when his mother brushed past him, her face set in anger. She took her coat off and hung it and her purse in the hall closet without saying a word.

 

Spike slammed in the door a second later, carrying bags of groceries, his expression infuriated. He glared once at Xander, once at Jessica’s back and stomped out for a second armful of bags. Xander watched his mom begin to unpack the food, fury in every jerky move, every slammed cabinet door. Spike came in two more times before kicking the door shut behind him.

 

He joined Jessica in unpacking, the same fury in his movements. Xander cleared his throat carefully. “Umm, Mom? Spike? What’s wrong?”

 

“Why don’t you ask William? He knows best after all.” Jessica snapped, flinging the cereal cabinet open.

 

“Ummm, okay. Spike? What’s going on?” He asked obediently.

 

“No, I think you should ask your mum. After all, I’m just the walking wounded.” Xander nervously turned back to his mother, seeing Spike’s blue irises ringed in gold.

 

“I don’t care who tells me, but I really think I need to know why mom is slamming the knobs off of the cupboards and Spike is about ready to vamp out.”

 

“William decided that I’m too fragile to be allowed to pull my weight.” Jessica bit out.

 

“Your mum decided that I couldn’t handle three fledges by myself.” Spike retaliated.

 

“He yelled at me for saving his undead ass.”

 

“She waded into a vamp fight armed with a bloody can of hair spray!”

 

“He was weak and hurt already and they were ganging up on him!”

 

“She put herself in danger when she should have run!”

 

Xander watched, fascinated, as they continued to scream statements to him as they faced off over the kitchen counter, almost in each other’s faces.

 

“He called me a daft bint!”

 

“She poked me in my gut! Twice!”

 

“I was making a point!”

 

“So was I!”

 

“Well your point sounded an awful like an insult.”

 

“I was angry! I was scared. What if you’d been hurt?” His voice dropped an octave and guilt and fear radiated off of him in waves.

 

“But I wasn’t hurt. I was terrified, yes. But not just for me. I couldn’t just run away and let them kill you.” Jessica took a step towards him and held out her hand absently.

 

With a growl, Spike grabbed it and tugged her into his arms. “Don’t you ever do that again, mum.” He whispered fiercely, clutching her to his chest.

 

“Yes, William,” she lied, smiling against his chest and sliding her hands around his waist.

 

They stood, reveling in the fact that neither of them were hurt until a tentative touch on both their shoulders caused them to look up. Xander stood, looking miserable. Each opened up an arm and pulled him into the embrace. Long moments later, they broke apart, shyly smiling at each other.

 

Xander joined them in putting groceries away and then sat at the table watching his mom and his vamp happily as they bantered over dinner preparation. ~Don’t know exactly what’s going on with us. But I think I like it.~

Chapter Six

Summary:         Tony comes home.

 

WARNING: This section contains scenes of verbal and emotional abuse. It also contains implied spousal rape.

 

 

Xander was finally ordered to cut vegetables instead of sitting watching Spike and Jessica. He got up with a grin and pulled the veggie peeler out of the top kitchen drawer. As he did, he heard the front door open, then slam. All three of them froze. Heavy footfalls moved around in the living room and Jessica and Xander exchanged silent looks.

 

Jessica herded Spike to the basement stairs and gently shut the door behind him, just as Tony Harris walked into the kitchen. He looked around at the scattered foodstuffs and then at his wife and son. He made eye contact with Xander. Without the adrenaline of the night before, Xander soon wilted under his father’s intense gaze and dropped his eyes. He turned back to the sink and began peeling.

 

Tony looked next at Jessica. She forced a small smile on her face and nodded. “Hello, Tony. Dinner is almost done. Why don’t you get a beer and watch TV for a while?” Tony stared at her a moment longer, then grunted and retrieved his beer from the fridge. Xander jumped a bit as his father reached around him to snatch the bottle opener from the counter. He could tell from the nasty grin, that was exactly the reaction Tony’d hoped for.

 

Finally, the elder Harris shuffled out of the kitchen and they heard the TV go on a minute later. They finished dinner in silence, Jessica cooking, Xander doing prep work and setting the table. After another 30 minutes, she called Tony to the table. He took his place at the head of the table and waited for Jessica to serve him.

 

He stared at the food on his plate with distaste when it was set in front of him. “What is this shit?” He growled. Xander tensed up and focused his eyes on his plate. Jessica smiled wanly.

 

“Well, it’s Chicken Parmesan with breadsticks and cooked baby carrots. There’s also a side salad with Italian dressing.” Tony snorted.

 

“I can see the salad, bitch,” he snarled. “I can also see the carrots and the bread. Why are we having some pansy-assed girly meat? Where’s my steak? My ribs? My roast?” Xander began to tremble. Jessica just sat down in her place at the table.

 

“There was a sale at the store today. Chicken was cheaper than steak.” She lied efficiently. “I thought you’d want me to try to save money.”

 

Tony slammed his fork down on the table causing his beer to rock slightly and both Jessica and Xander to jump visibly. “I meant save money by cutting out that crap you’re always buying. Like the boy’s kiddie cereals and your goddamn yogurt. I didn’t say to stop buying me steak for dinner.”

 

Jessica inclined her head. “Of course, how stupid of me, Tony. I’m sorry.” She murmured.

 

“Stupid bitch.” Tony muttered, shoving the food in his mouth. The rest of dinner went quietly. When Tony’d finished his meal, he sat back, belched, then snagged his beer and went back out into the living room. Jessica turned to look at her son. Xander hadn’t raised his head or spoken a word since his father got home. She sighed, pained for the loss of her son’s smile.

 

“Sweetie, why don’t you make up a plate for Spike. You can take yours down and eat with him since you’ve hardly touched your dinner.” She whispered, looking pointedly at the food he’d only pushed around on his plate. “I’ll start cleaning up while you get them together.

 

Xander nodded and stood. He filled a fourth plate to brimming, and with a pause, then filled his own up again. He knew from experience, as soon as he was away from his father’s field of vision, he’d have his appetite back. Jessica puttered around, not having much to clean as she and Spike had washed as they went.

 

“Jessica!” Tony bellowed from the other room. “Bring me another goddamn beer!” Xander winced. Jessica smiled at him and patted his cheek as she went to the fridge.

 

“Go on, honey. Go feed your vampire. I’ll finish up.” She stiffened her back and ventured into the living room. As she got close to the recliner, a hard hand reached out and snatched her arm roughly. Tony jerked her down to her knees at his side.

 

“I don’t like this, Jessie.” He growled lowly, bringing his face directly into hers. “Have you and the boy been talking about me behind my back?” Jessica shook her head frantically.

 

“No, of course not, Tony. We wouldn’t do that.”

 

“I think you have. Why else would the little faggot try to stand up to me?” His breath was hot and foul against her cheek.

 

Jessica shook her head again. “H-he was just trying to calm everyone down, Tony. That’s all.”

 

Tony ran his fingers through her hair, snagging it painfully, tilting her head at an awkward angle. “I think he decided he could be all grown up and tried to protect his whoring mother from her husband.”

 

Tears prickled at Jessica’s eyes from the needlelike pains in her scalp. “I don’t know, Tony.”

 

“Well, I do know, Jessie.” His tongue protruded from his lips, swiping a long, wet trail from her jaw to her temple. “I think he needs to learn just who his mother belongs to. I think his mother needs a refresher also.” Jessica whimpered. “I think it’s about time you remembered who you belong to, bitch. That you remembered all that I have to do to keep you in food and clothes. I don’t think I’ve been properly thanked in far too long.”

 

Jessica closed her eyes.

 

“I think tonight, you should show me just how thankful you are for everything I do for you. Unless…” He sneered, “You plan on asking your boy to stick his fucking nose in our business again. That would be a mistake. But if you’d rather he show me how thankful he is…I suppose that can be arranged.” He chuckled evilly.

 

Jessica’s eyes shot open in horror. “No!” She gasped. “No, Tony…he doesn’t need to know. I’ll just go send him to bed. We can leave him out of this.”

 

Tony looked pleased. “Good. Now go. Then get your ass upstairs. When my show is over, I expect my thank you.”

 

He went back to the game show leaving Jessica to stand on shaky legs and walk back into the kitchen. Xander hovered at the door looking anxious. As soon as she closed it behind her, he began inspecting her for signs of abuse. Finding none, he narrowed his eyes. “What’s up, mom?” He demanded.

 

Jessica forced a smile. “Nothing, pumpkin. I’m going to finish up these dishes and then go to bed. Why don’t you head downstairs for the night also?” Xander didn’t look very sure of that, so she tried to make her smile more realistic. “Give William a kiss goodnight for me. Tell him I’ll see him in the morning.”

 

Xander’s lips formed a little moue of disgust. “I am so not kissing Spike for you, mom.” Jessica felt her smile turn real for a moment.

 

“Of course not pumpkin. Now, off to bed with you.” She shooed him downstairs and desperately searched for something to occupy her in the kitchen. Something to take her mind off of what was going to happen far too soon.

__________________________________________________________

 

Xander groused as he clumped down the stairs, knowing his mom was lying to him. When he reached the bottom, he spied Spike sitting on the couch, head back, eyes closed. Still irritated, he stomped over to the table and slammed the plates down. Spike opened an eye.

 

“Good dinner, pet?”

 

Xander flopped in a chair and began pushing his food around once again. Spike sighed and got up to move to the table. He sat and tugged a plate over in front of him. They ate silently for a few moments, Xander angry, Spike patient. Finally, he was rewarded.

 

“He stared me down, Spike.” The boy burst out. “All that bullshit last night was for nothing. He comes in, gives me one look and I turn into Xander Harris, middle school geek again.” Spike sat quietly. A moment later…”And he did something to mom. He didn’t hit her, but she was upset. I know he said something.”

 

The brunette pushed his plate away and leaned back, frustration evident in every line of his body.

 

Spike pushed his own plate away and folded his hands on the table. “It wasn’t for nothing, Xander.” He began. “Facing your fear of your father is like quitting smoking. Going cold turkey always ends up with a backslide somewhere along the way.” Xander looked across the table at the blonde vampire calmly lecturing him. “I think you did remarkably well last night. It was a good beginning.”

 

Xander grinned wryly. “Look at you, Dr. Spike.”

 

The vampire twisted his lips wryly. “Well I’ve had a lot of practice dealing with the insane, y’know.” Xander sniggered. They sat companionably for a while, just enjoying the quiet.

 

“Spike, why won’t she leave him?”

 

~Bloody hell.~ “Well, Xan, there are lots of reasons, I guess.” He hedged. Xander gave him ‘a look’ and he sighed. “Yer mum doesn’t know any different, pet. All she knows is hurt and pain and abuse. She knows it’s not right. She knows there’s somewhere out there that it doesn’t happen, but that place is so far away from here she can’t comprehend it.”

 

Xander tucked his feet up and listened intently. “A person can be treated badly only so long, pet, before they start to believe they deserve it.” He continued, knowing the uncomfortable look in Xander’s eye came from the realization of how he and the scoobies treated Spike. “Once they start to believe it’s real, it becomes real for them. Any attention is at least attention. A slap or a punch means they’re still here. Still real. An insult or hurtful word just gives them reason to get up the next day to try harder to please.”

 

Xander frowned. “How long does it take to get like that?”

 

Spike shrugged. “Depends on the person, luv. Some are strong willed. Takes longer. Those are the kind abusers take the most pleasure in breaking. Your mum? I bet she took a very long time. But break she did, pet.”

 

Xander bit his lip. “But my mom is a wonderful person. She should know that. She deserves a lot better than this. Why can’t she just see that?”

 

Spike smiled sadly. “So, Pet, why do you think the gang keeps you around?”

 

Xander flinched, then sighed. “Hell if I know. I’m severely lacking in the mojo department. I can’t fight my way out of a paper sack.” He laughed self-deprecatingly. “But damn do I pick out good doughnuts and coffee.” He looked up to see Spike still watching him with a sad smile. “What?”

 

“How long did it take for you to break, luv?” He asked softly. Xander froze, eyes wide and staring into Spike’s. He opened his mouth a couple of times, but nothing came out. He felt his eyes tear up, but couldn’t look away. He frantically blinked, trying to keep them at bay, but felt a warm trail make its way down his cheek.

 

Spike stood and stepped around the table. With a gentle tug, he hauled Xander into his arms and pressed the boy’s face into his shoulder. Like the floodgates had been opened, Xander’s tears fell in a river, quickly soaking Spike’s shirt. The vamp eased the boy backwards and laid him on the bed. He was slightly surprised when grasping hands clutched at him. Willingly, he followed them down to rest at Xander’s side.

 

He rocked the boy, whispering nonsense things to him, petting his hair and rubbing his back. He could feel the tremors wracking the boy’s body lesson and eventually stop. Xander’s breathing evened out with the exception of a hitch or two as the result of crying himself to sleep.

 

He continued holding the fragile human, staring at the ceiling. Dimly, he heard sounds from upstairs and he curiously focused his ears in that direction. After a moment, his face shuttered and his eyes closed. He rolled over and placed his ear over Xander’s heart, listening to the steady thud-thud below his cheek instead of the sacrifice of the woman two floors above him.

Chapter Seven

Summary:         Tony leaves for a bit. Jessica meets the Scooby gang.

 

 

Spike woke to an amazing sensation. He was warm, cocooned in covers and wrapped in the arms of Xander Harris. He tried to recall last night. He was pretty sure that when he fell asleep, he’d been holding Xander. Now Xander had a death grip around his waist and shoulders and his legs twined through Spike’s smaller ones.

 

Spike nuzzled the patch of skin under his cheek, burrowing further into Xander’s neck. He was just getting comfy again when he heard Xander’s heart speed up, heralding his awaking. He could tell the second Xander realized where he was…and whom he was with, by the sudden cessation of breathing. He waited, sadly, for Xander to kick him out of the bed or at least shove him over on his own side.

 

What he got was a tiny sigh of pleasure and a gentle kiss to the top of his head. Then Xander adjusted minutely and pulled Spike against him again. ~What the bloody hell?~ Spike could tell the human wasn’t falling back asleep. Xander was just lying there. In bed. With Spike. Awake. Not running or making excuses. Just holding him.

 

They lay that way for nearly 15 minutes until Xander’s bladder refused to take ‘just another minute’ as an answer. Reluctantly, he shifted slightly. Spike was out of his arms and on the other side of the bed in a second. Xander tried to curb the smile forcing it’s way to his lips. He’d know the vampire was awake as well.

 

Last night when he’d woken up and found Spike on top of the covers while he enjoyed the warmth of having been tucked in, he felt guilty. So, he’d adjusted the vamp, amazed at Spike’s ability to sleep through his thrashing and adjusting, and touched at the trust it showed. He put his chilly vampire under the covers and cuddled him. Spike had allowed himself to be shoved and pushed around with boneless acceptance last night. This morning, he was as stiff as a board. Nearly vibrating with tension.

 

Xander went to the bathroom, yawning, and took an extra moment to brush his teeth. He then stumbled back to the bed and crawled under the blankets. With a swift tug, he snagged Spike and drug him back against him, resting his chin on the vamps shoulder. His breath gently disturbed the blonde curls and he felt Spike shudder again.

 

~And I say again, what the bloody hell? He came back? To hold me again?~ Spike’s mind was churning so fast that he felt rather ill. He lay tense for another few minutes before just giving up and thanking his lucky stars for whatever Xander’s reasons were. With a sigh of content, he relaxed into the humans embrace.

_________________________________________

 

“Xander. Your mum’s up.” Spike whispered, loathe to break the spell they were under but knowing Xander needed to check on Jessica.  Xander nodded against Spike’s neck and began the process of unwrapping himself from around Spike. On impulse, he gave a tiny kiss to the bare skin at Spike’s nape, grinning when Spike jerked at the feeling.

 

He climbed out of bed and headed upstairs, dinner plates in hand. His stomach churned when he caught a glimpse of her. It wasn’t the split lip that got his attention, nor even the obvious bruising on her arms. It was the deadened look in her eyes. He knew that look. He went to that place sometimes when his father was too far gone to stop hitting. It was a safe place, but every time you went there, you lost a little more of yourself. And Jessica had been doing it for 20 years.

 

He carefully took the jug of milk from her hands and set it on the table. She seemed confused, not really understanding her purpose if he didn’t want her to make breakfast. Xander took her gently in his arms and rocked her like Spike had rocked him last night.

 

Jessica had woken up, sickened. She’d scrambled from the bed where Tony lay snoring and headed for the shower. Nearly a half hour later, skin raw with scrubbing and her eyes swollen from crying, she headed downstairs. She was on autopilot. Tony had a…vigorous night. He’d be hungry. If she didn’t have breakfast on the table when he got up…she shuddered.

 

She saw Xander step out from the basement but didn’t want to stop working. She couldn’t understand why he was making her stop. Then his arms closed around her. Strong, but gentle. Not hurtful. He rocked her. Oh, God. The times she’d wrapped arms around herself, rocking, wishing it were someone else’s arms. Someone who’d take care of her. Take her away. She breathed in deeply, trying not to cry again.

 

He smelled good. He smelled of sweat and sunshine. He smelled of safety. She berated herself for trying to lean on her own son. She should be the one for him to lean on. But, oh…surely she could indulge just this once.

 

“I love you, mom.”

 

Jessica lost it. Her legs gave out and she allowed Xander to take her full weight. Her body jerked with each silent sob, because you didn’t cry out loud. Not in this house. She didn’t really recognize anything Xander was saying. But his voice was nice. Deep and rumbly. Her boy had grown up into such a handsome, fine young man. He’d be heading out into life soon. Making his own way in the world.

 

Leaving her alone, once and for all, with the devil. ~Jessica, you selfish bitch!~ She bit her split lip hard, the pain forcing her back to reality. ~You do not say one single word that makes him think he had to stay here with you in this hell!~ She pulled away from him and smiled up at him.

 

“Time for you to earn your keep, mister.” She joked, playfully swatting at his chest, blinking back the tears threatening to overflow. “Get over there and pull out some eggs.” Xander smiled back, wanly, knowing a distraction when he saw it. But, he did as she asked, and quickly and quietly, mother and son prepared breakfast for the man of the house.

________________________________________________

 

Tony clumped down the stairs and into the kitchen. He turned bleary eyes on his wife and son. The bitch was fluttering around the stove trying to put just the precise amount of food on his plate. He didn’t like to have to stop chewing to order her to fill up his plate. He also didn’t like when there were leftovers. It showed wastefulness of his hard-earned money.

 

The boy was tiptoeing around the table trying to put the morning paper in easy reach while avoiding getting within two feet of his father. Tony smirked and feinted towards him. The pasty-faced faggot jumped back with a squeak and scurried around to his side of the table. Jessica set the plate in front of him and filled the coffee mug next to him.

 

Breakfast was better than last night’s unidentifiable dinner. Plenty of meat, eggs and potatoes. Breakfast for a hard-working man. He shoveled the food in his mouth, reading the paper as he did so. When his plate was empty, he shoved it away and leaned back in his chair to observe the other occupants of the table.

 

The boy wasn’t even eating. Fucking waste of food. Course, the boy was a fucking waste of space, so he supposed it all worked out even. Jessica was trying not to wince as she placed tiny bits of food on her tongue, bypassing her injured lip. He grinned at the memory of how she’d gotten that.

 

He cleared his throat. They both jumped. “I’m going to Las Vegas for two weeks for a work thing.” He announced. Jessica placed her fork on her plate.

 

“What are you going to be doing?” She asked politely.

 

Tony glared at her. “Work stuff, I said. You wouldn’t understand it.” Jessica nodded.

 

“My…secretary is coming to pick me up at 9:00.” A smarmy grin oozed over his face.

 

Jessica looked confused. “I didn’t know you had a secretary, Tony.”

 

His face took on the aspect of a thundercloud. “Well I do. Are you questioning me, Jessie?”

 

She shook her head frantically. “Of course not, Tony. I-it must just have slipped my mind. Stupid me.”

 

He looked mollified. “I’m going upstairs to pack. Let me know if she gets here before 9:00.”

 

“Of course.” Jessica nodded, getting up to clear the table.

 

Tony stomped up the stairs, disappearing into the bedroom. Xander followed his path with hate filled eyes. “Secretary?” He snarled. “He thinks we’re going to buy that he has a secretary in that shit job?” Jessica shushed him absently.

 

“Does it really matter?” She asked. “If he’s doing her at least he’s leaving me alone.” She paused, horrified that she had actually said that out loud. She looked at Xander, an apology on her lips. He was choking on laughter, trying to be quiet so as not to attract the attention of the man upstairs. Jessica smiled ruefully. “Let’s just pretend I didn’t say that, okay?” Xander nodded and got up, still laughing, to help Jessica with dishes.

_________________________________________

 

The doorbell rang as Jessica handed Xander the last dish to dry. They exchanged looks and Xander rolled his eyes. “Looks like the ‘secretary’ is here. I’ll get it.” Jessica nodded, a twinkle in her eye. Xander opened the door to a Harmony look-alike. Her honey blonde hair was up in a ponytail and she wore bright red lipstick that matched her sweater.

 

“Hi!” She chirped. “I’m here to pick up Tony” She took a long appreciative look at Xander and smiled slowly.

 

Xander returned her smiled. She was what? Sixteen? Seventeen? “Sure. Dad’s upstairs getting packed. Why don’t you come on in and wait for him.” He stepped aside and she bounced into the room, snapping her gum. She eased down on the couch and patted the spot next to her.

 

“Keep me company til he gets here?” She pouted. Xander chuckled and sat down next to her. “My name’s Angie. What’s yours?”

 

“Xander.”

 

“Oh, I like that name.” She purred, shifting so that her skirt rode up her thigh. “So, Xander, how long have you known Tony?”

 

Xander stared at her incredulously. No…could she really be that stupid? “Uh, since birth? He’s my dad?”

 

Angie giggled. “I met him last week. I was delivering coffee to his building. I met him by the water fountain. He asked me for my phone number and gave me a $20 tip. I figured he had to be loaded. So when he asked me if I wanted to go to Las Vegas with him, of course I said yes.”

 

“Oh, of course.” Xander agreed, a serious look on his face. Inwardly, he was trying not to laugh in her face. “So, how long are you going for?”

 

“Tony says two weeks. He has the hotel booked until the 20^th. He said we’d be flying out that afternoon. Isn’t it exciting? Flying to Las Vegas!” Her eyes took on a dreamy cast. “I’m a dancer, you know. Maybe I can get a job there and I’ll never have to come back to Sunnydale!”

 

Xander looked properly interested. “Wouldn’t that be something?”

 

“Angie! What are you doing here early?” Tony bellowed down the stairs. Poor innocent blonde Angie just looked up and giggled. “I thought I told you to let me know when she got here, boy!” Xander tried not to flinch in front of the teenaged girl.

 

“Tony!” The girl squealed and ran across the room to leap into Tony Harris’s arms. Tony pushed her down quickly, but not before coping a feel of her thong-covered ass, Xander noticed.

 

“Go wait in the car, Angie.” Tony ordered. She bounced out happily, waving goodbye to Xander on the way.

 

Tony advanced on his son. “What did she tell you, boy?” Xander didn’t move. The prey in him recognized the predator and knew running would only entice further anger.

 

“Nothing, sir.” He mumbled. “She was just telling me how excited she is about Las Vegas.”

 

“Are you sure that’s all she said?”

 

Xander nodded. “Yes, sir. That’s it.”

 

Tony glared into his son’s eyes a moment longer then turned away. “I’ll be back on the 20^th.”

 

“Yes, sir.” Without so much as a goodbye, Tony snatched up his bags and slammed the door behind him. Xander sank back into the couch in relief.

___________________________________________

 

“And so then she’s like, ‘Oh, maybe I’ll get a job there and never have to come back’.” Xander grinned as he laid an 8 of clubs on the pile.

 

“Two weeks with him and she won’t want to come back to a town with him in it anyway.” Jessica snipped, picking the 8 up and tossing down a 3 of hearts.

 

“I’m hoping the bloody plane goes down.” Spike snatched up the 3 and dropped his cards. “I’m out.”

 

Xander threw his cards down in disgust. Jessica laid hers down more carefully, but still sighed. “Alexander’s right, William. Next time we play something that doesn’t include cards. And don’t wish the plane going down. There are a lot of people who’ve never done anything to anyone on that thing. It’s not right that they suffer just because Anthony Harris is an asshole.”

 

Xander looked at his mom in amazement. She blushed. “What? Like I’m not supposed to know those words because I’m old?” Xander grinned.

 

Spike shuffled the deck, his mouth pursed. “Fine then. No bloody plane crash. Can I hope he chokes on the expensive steak he orders for dinner while you’re here eating bean and franks from a bloody can?”

 

Jessica snickered. “Yes, William. You can hope that. And thanks to you, we’re not eating beans and franks.” She wrapped her arms around her knees as Spike dealt again. “I’m really looking forward to watching you make dinner. I’ve never even heard of some of the stuff you bought for it.”

 

Spike just smiled. “I hope you like it, mum. And thank you for letting me cook in your kitchen. I mean, putting you out and all.”

 

Xander picked up his cards. “Oh, mom hates to cook. She just spends all her time in the kitchen cause she knows he won’t come in here except for a beer and to Hoover his plate dry.” Jessica blushed, but nodded.

 

“It’s true. I hate cooking.”

 

Spike picked up a card and discarded a 7 of diamonds. “Well, I happen to be right fond of it, so don’t you worry your pretty head, mum. I’ll make you meals fit for a queen.” When Jessica smiled, Xander’s chest ached. She was so pretty when she smiled. She was pretty when she wasn’t smiling, too, but smiling illuminated her face. How strange that the one to put the happiness there was an undead British man who should be treating her like food.

 

Xander watched Spike out of the corner of his eye. The vampire seemed more relaxed than he’d ever seen him before. He was making jokes and sarcastic comments, of course, but they didn’t have the bite to them that they used to. He seemed to love provoking Jessica into saying something snarky back to him, watching her stand up to him. He’d reward her by letting her get the last word, when Xander knew damn well that there was a comeback rolling through that sinister brain of his.

 

He was going to have to get some more blood tonight. They’d put it off long enough. He still hadn’t healed fully, you could tell in the way he moved sometimes, or how he sat down gingerly. Xander decided he was going to hit Willy’s up for some human. No pigs blood for his vampire while healing from an injury. He wondered when Spike became his vampire. Two days ago, he was telling his mom not to let him in the house. Now?

 

Now he knew all of Xander’s dirty secrets. The ones that even his friends weren’t clear on. He’d watched Xander back down and let his mother get hurt. He’d watched him bawling like a baby. Hell, he’d held him when he bawled like a baby. And wasn’t that just so not the Big Bad?

 

“Xander?”

 

He was brought out of his reverie by his mother’s voice. “Yeah?”

 

“Can I meet your friends?” Xander stopped mid discard and stared at her.

 

“Why?” He asked stupidly.

 

Jessica dropped her head. “Never mind. It was a stupid idea.”

 

Spike reached out to lift her head back up, glaring at Xander. The brunette felt about 6 inches tall. “Stop it, luv. It was not a stupid idea. Nothing you think is stupid. We’re not the bloody wanker you married. You don’t have to apologize for wanting something.”

 

Xander touched her arm. “He’s right, mom. I’m sorry. I was just surprised, is all. I didn’t think you’d want to meet my friends. But, yeah. I’d actually like for you to meet them. They’re really special and I’d like to share them with you.” He said softly. He saw Spike watching him with a look of approval and for some reason, it made him feel warm and proud for saying the right thing.

 

Jessica nodded and smiled a tiny smile. “Okay.”

 

“How about tonight?” Xander asked. “Around dusk?” Jessica nodded.

 

Spike looked confused. “Why dusk? They should all be at the Magic Shop now.” Xander tried not to laugh at the confusion on Spike’s face.

 

“Well, I thought you’d like to come with us. Kinda hard to do that if you’re extra crispy, doofus.” Spike rolled that thought around in his head. ~He wants me to come with him.~ His internal face was grinning, his internal body dancing a jig around the room. On the outside though, he just grunted and went back to the game.

______________________________________

 

 

The bell on the door of the Magick Box jingled and four sets of eyes turned to the doorway. All four sets widened in astonishment. Xander led the way in, opening the door for a smaller feminine version of himself, who was in turn followed by a blonde haired vampire with a hand placed protectively on the woman’s lower back.

 

“Mrs. Harris.” Willow stood, nearly knocking her chair over in the process. “Wh-what are you doing here?” Xander shut the door and took up position on the other side of his mother.

 

“Hey fellow Scoobies,” Xander grinned. “I finally took the plunge and told Mom the truth about Sunnydale.” He shrugged. “She wanted to meet all of my friends again, knowing who you really were this time.”

 

Buffy stood as well. “Um. How much truth did you tell her exactly, Xander?” She asked nervously watching the woman for signs of panic. None forthcoming, she then stared at Spike, trying to figure out what he thought he was doing hovering so protectively over the woman.

 

“Everything that mattered.” Xander replied. “Hellmouth, demons, vampires. Witches, Watchers, Slayers…oh, my!” He chuckled. “So, Mom. These are my friends.” He gestured at each in turn. “Buffy Summers, Slayer. Willow Rosenberg, witch. Tara McClay, witch…and who is also dating Willow. And Rupert Giles, Watcher. Guys, this is my mom, Jessica.”

 

Jessica shook hands with each in turn, even Willow, whom she’d known nearly the child’s whole life. When she got to Giles, she stared at him for a long moment. Finally, she clasped his hand and reached up to give him a tiny kiss on the cheek. Flustered, Giles blushed and blinked rapidly, automatically reaching for his glasses once Jessica released his hand.

 

“Err, well…very pleasant to meet you, Mrs. Harris. Ummm…I errr-“

 

Jessica took pity on him. Smiling she said, “My son grew up in a home where his father…well, let’s just say because you have a child doesn’t make you a father. But, today, my son stands before me loving, caring, loyal, generous and kind, Mr. Giles. I know he thinks I never listen to him, but I know that four years ago, my son found a real man to idolize. I know that much of who my son is today is your doing. And I thank you for being strong for him, being there when he needed you. Loving him when his own father wouldn’t.”

 

Silence filled the room. Willow and Tara had tears in their eyes. Buffy looked at Giles, her eyes shining with pride and love. Xander hid his face, his eyes closed against the pain he heard in his mother’s voice. A strong shoulder pressed against his and he smiled. Spike quietly offered comfort in the only way he knew how.

­­­­­­­­­­­­­­­­­­­­­­­­­­­­_____________________________________________

 

“I have no idea where Xander shops to get those awful shirts,” Jessica laughed. She’d been doing a lot of that this evening. After the silence had been broken by Giles offering his seat to Jessica, she was welcomed like the long lost Scooby. They all sat around the huge study table and talked. Hours later, they still had no answer for Xander’s bizarre clothing tastes.

 

“I think the whelp should just get with the times and buy some leather.” Spike smirked. Willow grinned evilly.

 

“I thing Xander would look very nice in leather, don’t you, Buffy?” Buffy nodded vigorously.

 

“I quite agree. Why don’t you come shopping with us tomorrow, Xander?” she asked. “We could set you up to look great!”

 

Xander shuddered. “No way in hell am I going anywhere with you shopping harpies. I’ll be dreaming of shoe stores til I’m 90.”

 

Jessica gently cuffed him. “Don’t start on the subject of shoe shopping with me, young man. I’ll have you know, I have a secret shoe addiction.”

 

Xander brightened. “Why don’t you girls take Mom shopping tomorrow?” All the girls were very excited by the prospect.

 

“That would be so much fun!” Willow bounced in her chair. But Jessica grew quiet. Casting her eyes toward the table, she sighed.

 

“Sorry, girls. I’m not exactly rolling in the cash these days. Besides, who’d want to go shopping with an old fuddy duddy anyway.” She tried to make a joke, but no one was buying it. Surprisingly, the one to call her on it was Spike. He’s watched her blossom under the sun of the scoobies all evening. Opening up to Xander’s friends the way she did with him. No way was he going to let that go.

 

“Here, Mum.” He stood and pulled out his wallet, ignoring the raised eyebrows at his familiar manner. “I’ve got you covered.”

 

Jessica blushed even harder. “No. Absolutely not, William. I refuse to take any more of your money.” Spike stared at her for a long moment and then dropped to his knees at her feet. Reaching out to her, he placed a finger under her chin and raised her head.

 

“I have the money, luv. You know that. We discussed it.” He began softly. “I have no family. No expensive vices. I am free to spend it, hoard it, burn it to cook marshmallows on if I choose. Mum, you took me in when I was bleeding and unconscious. Bloody hell, you fed me from your own vein!” He heard the indrawn breaths. “You won’t let me protect you. You won’t let me take you and Xander away. I don’t know what to do.”

 

He sighed in frustration and took his hand away, but her head stayed put. “I want to show you how thankful I am. I want to show you that I would do anything to get between you and harm; between Xander and harm. But I’m a worthless vampire, luv. I have no redeeming qualities.” He gave a harsh laugh. “But I do have money. And it’s yours whenever you want it, whenever you need it. Let me do this for you. I have nothing else to offer. Please, Mum.”

 

For the second time that night, silence reigned. Mostly due to confusion, but also because no one wanted to interfere with what looked like Jessica changing her mind. “William.” She cupped his cheek. “You have so much more to offer than just money. Fine. I’ll go.” Spike just gently smiled, rose to his feet and leaned to place a gentle kiss on her forehead. Reaching inside his wallet, he pulled out several bills and handed them to her.

 

Jessica glanced at them and gasped, wide-eyed. “What in the…William, I cannot take this much!” She stared in horror at the five crisp $100 bills he pressed into her palm. The girls leaned over in interest and then pulled back to stare at Spike.

 

“Yes you can, luv. I want you to tomorrow and buy whatever strikes your fancy. I don’t even want you to look at the price tags. She gaped at him. He sighed. “Fine. Would it make you feel better if I told you to buy something for the girls also?” Slowly she nodded. “Ok, then. Make sure that everyone comes away from the bloody mall with something they are going to force the men in the room to stare helplessly at and make appreciative noises over.”

 

He winked at her and smiled when she folded the money up and placed it in her purse. “Oi, Red.” He motioned to her. “I need something from the back room. Come help me find it.” He stalked back without looking to see if she’d follow. Raising her eyebrows, she none-the-less followed him.

 

“What?” she asked, watching as he pulled out his wallet again.

 

“I meant what I said,” he said in a low that didn’t carry any further than Willow’s ear. “I don’t want her looking at a single price tag. Take this.” He placed another roll of bills, all $100’s as well if she were any judge, into her hands. “Buy her anything she looks at then walks away from.” Willow looked from the money to his face, to the money, to his face.

 

“What are you doing this for, Spike?” she asked finally.

 

He sighed. “I told you already. Actually, I told her, and you were listening, but you already know.” She gave him ‘the look’. “Fine.” He sighed again. “She is an amazing woman. She’s been through hell these last 20 years, nonstop. But she has a backbone of iron and a heart of gold, that one does. I admire her. I respect her. I may be nothing to the rest of you, but she looked past that. She saw me. She accepted me. That’s a gift I can’t pay back. But I’m damn sure going to try. And if spending a bit of dosh makes her happy, even for one day, then I’ll gladly do it every day for the rest of my unlife.”

 

He finished with a scowl. Willow watched him squirm for a long moment and then leaned forward to kiss his cheek. “You aren’t nothing, Spike.” She whispered. “You aren’t nothing, you aren’t worthless, and you have enough redeeming qualities that it’s scary sometimes. For the record, I don’t hate you. I consider you a kind of big, scary friend. And I know Tara feels the same way. I’ll make sure Jessica doesn’t want for anything tomorrow. You have my word.”

 

She turned and walked back to the front of the store. After a long moment, Spike followed.

_____________________________________________

 

Happy squeals followed the group of women through the mall the next day. Willow and Buffy dragged them from store to store like shopping animals and Tara hung back with Jessica, quietly laughing at the other two girl’s enthusiasm. Jessica didn’t know what hit her. Everything she looked at, she was gently pushed into getting. She made a point after the first store, to get something for each girl before they had her spend the whole $500 on herself.

 

Buffy got a new leather skirt and top, Willow a new crystal and skirt. Tara chose a necklace and a Latin reference book. Jessica desperately tried to get them more, but none of the girls would hear of it. Midway through the mall, Jessica gleefully held up a handful of change.

 

“That’s all she wrote, ladies! My hard earned gains are gone!” Willow exchanged a smile with the other girls and held out a roll of bills easily twice the size of the one Jessica started with.

 

“Your Sugar Daddy thought you might need a bit more pocket change.” She grinned.

 

The girls hauled her into a hair and nail salon before she finally begged to make a stop at the food court. Sitting at a cozy table, munching on fast food and latte’s, listening to the girl’s chatter…Jessica couldn’t remember when she’d had a better time.

Chapter Eight

Summary:         A day of fluffy goodness. Oh, and someone gets smoochies.

 

Happy birthday, Woodlandchild!  For you:

 

 

When Jessica came down the stairs that morning she fairly bounced. She’d put her hair up in a ponytail and wore jeans and a tank top. Xander thought she looked more like his sister than his mom. He hugged her and twirled her hair. She grinned and swatted his hand.

 

Spike sidled up to her and kissed her cheek. “Hey, cutie,” he growled softly, “I hear one word about some git making eyes at you or whistling at your arse and I rip his arm off and beat him with it.” Jessica looked at him, caught between laughing and assuring him she didn’t want any limb rending done for her honor.

 

Xander broke the moment with a snicker. “I think someone’s a bit possessive, mom.” Spike glared at him.

 

“She’s our mum. You telling me you wouldn’t pound in some bloke’s head for messing with her?” Xander paused, then shrugged.

 

“Sorry, mom. Gotta go with the bleached menace there.”

 

Jessica rolled her eyes and sat at the table with a flip of her hair. “I love you, too, boys. Now. Where’s my breakfast?”

___________________________________________________

 

Xander hung in the doorway, watching his mom and the girls drive away. As they turned the corner, he smiled and shut the door. “So, Spike. What’s the plan while the shopaholics are away?”

 

Spike looked up from his seat at the table. “We’re inviting the scoobies to dinner, mate. So we need to plan a menu and you need to go buy the ingredients.” Xander looked incredulously at the vampire.

 

“Uh, Spike? I can’t cook.”

 

Spike sighed. “Idiot, you don’t have to cook. I will. You just have to go to the market and pick up what I put on the list.” Xander still looked leery.

 

“But what if I don’t know what the stuff on your list is? You’re like that, y’know.” He pointed out defensively. “You and mom were talking about some pretty weird shit when you were putting groceries away. I mean…radicchio? What the hell is that?”

 

Spike sighed again. “It’s lettuce. For salad.”

 

Xander snorted. “Why do you need some funky radish thingy for a salad? Just buy real lettuce.”

 

 “It’s radicchio. Not radish.” Spike shuddered. “Radishes are red. They may also go in salad, but they are not a lettuce. And as for that iceberg lettuce you like? Tasteless, it is. Never gonna grace the salad bowl at my table.”

 

Xander grinned. “Are you gay?”

 

Spike started at that. “What? Why do you ask that?” He asked, trying to control his nervousness. Xander just shrugged at him and plopped down in an empty seat.

 

“I hate shopping. You know that.” He continued.

 

“Why don’t you ring the Watcher and have him go with you? I’m sure he would know everything on my list, and we were going to invite him anyway. Kill two birds with one stone and all.”

 

Xander brightened, looking as though Spike were the most brilliant man on Earth, and raced for the phone.

 

Spike sighed for the third time in as many minutes and went back to jotting down dinner’s components.

 

Xander came back in a few minutes, grinning from ear to ear. “Giles says why don’t you just call him when you’re done with the list. He’ll pick it up and be over late this afternoon to help you cook it.” He nearly bounced. “He said that going to the grocery store with me was nightmare enough the last time. He’d rather I stay home.”

 

Spike laughed. “Bloody brill, pet. What’d you do? Sound hopped up on chocolate and espresso and Willow-babble at him?” Xander’s eyes widened in amazement. Spike burst out into a new round of laughter. “Bloody hell, you did!”

 

“Whoa, Spike. You’re good.” Xander said reverently. He sat back down, smiling at Spike’s attempts to stop laughing. “Spike?” He asked, serious enough that Spike sobered immediately.

 

“Yeah, mate?”

 

“I wanted to thank you for what you did for my mom. I’m glad someone else sees how special she is.” He paused, and then continued softly. “I’m glad that someone is you. And I’m glad you’re here.”

 

Spike felt a warm rush through his body that wound up snuggling against his chest, compressing his lungs. Had he breathed, he wouldn’t have been able to take a single breath. Xander’s eyes were so deep and dark, and so full of emotion. Spike forgot himself for a moment and reached out to cover Xander’s hand with his own. He realized what he’d done when he saw the boy’s eyes widen a bit, and he pulled away. He could have sworn Xander actually looked saddened at the loss of contact.

 

Naw. Bloody imagination.

 

“Where did you get the money, Spike?” The brunette changed the subject. Spike shrugged and settled in to tell him the repeat of the life story he’d shared with Jessica earlier. Xander stared openmouthed for most of it, wincing in all the right places, Spike thought. He was interested to see a slow burn building in those dark eyes each time he spoke of Angelus. He wondered if the boy really hated the older vamp so much that the mention of his name set off a wave of hate.

 

“Thank you.” The boy said quietly when Spike had finished. “I-I’m really honored that you’d share your money with us.”

 

Spike snorted. “Just money, pet. No big deal.”

 

“But it is,” Xander protested. “It is a big deal. Dru and Angel…Angelus, they’re you’re family. Your Sires. People you were supposed to love. And you wouldn’t share with them. So it is a big deal that you’d even consider sharing with mom and me. I mean, you hate us scoobies and you just met mom.”

 

“I don’t.”

 

Xander stopped, mid tirade. “Don’t what?”

 

“Don’t hate you lot.” Spike grumbled. “Haven’t hated you for a long time. And your mum is a good person. Don’t need to know her ages for that. ‘Sides. I wasn’t supposed to love ‘em. I was just sposed to do what I was told.”

 

Xander watched the blonde for a long moment, then reached out and placed his hand over the cooler, pale one fidgeting with the tablecloth. “But you did, didn’t you?”

 

Spike looked like he was considering snatching his hand from Xander’s grasp, but Xander tightened his grip. Spike slouched in his chair and glared at his hand’s captor. “Yeah, fine. So bloody what. I loved them. Doesn’t mean they loved me back. I didn’t want to love them.” His voice grew softer as he fell into remembering. It took on a Gilsean cadence, rather than a guttersnipe accent.

 

“He could make a virgin choirboy fall in love with him. He just had…something…about him that drew you to him. He could make you think you were the only one in existence. The way he looked at you. The way he spoke to you. Touched you, like only you mattered in his world. The sick part? He could make you feel that way even when he was beating you unconscious or fucking you raw in a pool of your own blood.”

 

Spike laughed a humorless laugh watching his fingers pick at the material on the table, not noticing the rage building in Xander’s eyes. “And Dru. Ah, my dark princess. She made me feel needed. I needed to be needed. To be wanted. When I was with her, I could pretend that it was me she wanted. I could pretend that her need was love. That she loved me in return. But then Daddy would waltz back in the room and I’d be slapped in the face with how she only needed someone to occupy her until he came back into her field of vision.”

 

“Bloody hell.” Spike ran the fingers of his free hand through his ungelled hair. “I guess I just fall in love to easily. I take a crumb of affection and turn it into some bloody lifelong bond.” He snorted. “Angelus and Dru always hated that. How easily I fell in love. How I treated it like the be-all, end-all of existence when I should have been keener on killing and destruction. They told me I was the only vamp in existence who was more likely to die of a broken heart as one pierced with a stake.”

 

Xander squeezed his hand. “I like it. It makes you different. It also gives you something in common with me.” He added with a wry smile. “I’d give anything to be in love with someone who loved me back. The rumor says I fall in love too quickly and for all the wrong reasons. I think I just fall in love with all the wrong people. I keep falling for people who can’t or won’t love me back.” He shook his head. “Doesn’t really surprise me, though. I mean my own father can’t bring himself to love me. How can I expect someone else to.”

 

He yelped as Spike squeezed his hand hard. “Your father is a wanker, Xan.” He growled. “If he took a bloody moment to look at the treasures he has at home, he’d never hurt them. He’d never say anything in anger. He’d love them to his dying breath. He has two people in his life who truly want to love him, God knows why, and all he does is grind that love under his boot heels.”

 

Spike leaned in closer. “If you two were mine? I’d never let a day go by when I didn’t tell you how happy you made me. How honored I was that you chose to love me.” Xander watched Spike with dazed eyes. Spike met his gaze and tried to will into the boy the knowledge that he was special, that he was…loved.

 

Xander’s lips parted and Spike’s gaze dropped to them. Soft, warm lips that begged to be nibbled. He mentally shook himself and pulled his hand away from the boy. “But we know that’s not going to happen, now don’t we? So, you think Italian, Mexican, or Chinese?”

___________________________________________________

 

The ladies piled into the kitchen like puppies, laughing and jostling each other. Xander grabbed a bag before it knocked over the flower vase. Spike righted Tara as she tripped over Buffy and lurched towards the sink. Then he and Xander backed up against the fridge carefully out of the way of the flying bags and waving arms.

 

Finally Jessica saw them and snickered. “You two look like you’re up for a firing squad.”

 

Xander smiled and shrugged. “Just keeping out of the way of the insane persons in our kitchen, mom.” Jessica pshawed him and he stepped out to give her a quick kiss. “Go. Upstairs. Put clothes away.” He looked at the others. “Spike is making dinner for everyone tonight, so you can just stay here if you want, or go home and come back. Whatever. Just be here at 7.”

 

Blink.

 

Blink. Blink.

 

Shrug.

 

“Okay,” Buffy chirped. “We’ll be upstairs helping Jessica put her stuff away and getting ready.” They clomped off up the stairs in a herd, leaving Xander and Spike alone in the kitchen.

 

“Um, Spike?”

 

“Yeah, pet?”

 

“Why do they have to get ready just to eat?”

 

“Dunno, mate. I think it’s a female thing.”

 

“Oh.”

 

“I’ll be in the living room calling Giles. Why don’t you find some candles and nice music for dinner? Oh, and put a different tablecloth on the table. And the extra leaves.”

 

“Uh…okay. But why are we eating with leaves on the table? Oh, geesh! You’re not putting them into the salad too, are you?”

 

Sigh.

______________________________________________

 

Giles arrived around 4 p.m., bags in hand and kicking at the door. Xander opened it to see two large brown bags attached to legs just before said brown bags were thrust into his arms. Struggling to catch them, he heard, “Take those in to Spike. I’ve more in the car.” He was thankful he’d lived in this house his whole life. Otherwise, he’d never have found the kitchen since the only thing he could see was the ‘recycle me’ logo.

 

He dropped them on the table and went back outside to help Giles finish up. That was apparently the last thing the two ‘chefs’ felt him capable of because he was sent into the living room to watch TV. Well, maybe it had something to do with sneaking bites of food while the two Englishmen were working their arses off. And then sneaking some again after he was glared at. And after they told him to knock it off. And after Spike rapped him on the knuckles with a spoon. And after…~Oh, fine. Shut up brain.~

 

He was finally called back in to pour sparkling cider and light candles while the finishing touches were put on the food. As he was doing so, the ladies came back down the stairs from their continued bonding session. Xander noticed that this time, no one clomped. He saw why when they entered the room.

 

All three men froze and stared, mouths open, eyes wide. The ladies had dressed to the nines. Each woman wore a dress and heels, sported makeup and a fancy hairdo. They posed for a moment before the giggles overcame them. Giles stepped up and offered an arm to Jessica and Buffy. Xander blinked for another moment then offered his arms to Willow and Tara. 

 

He kept a close eye on Giles and attempted to imitate his actions. The older man pulled out a chair for Jessica and gently pushed her in. He then turned to Buffy and did the same. Xander pulled out a chair for Willow but pushed to quickly and nearly took her out at the knees. Tara giggled at the startled expression on her girlfriends face.

 

Willow grinned up at Xander. “See, this is why I decided to go with girls.” Xander blushed, but dropped a kiss on her forehead before turning to Tara. She was better prepared and made it up to the table without mishap. Giles took a place next to Jessica and smiled at her.

 

“You look enchanting, Mrs. Harris.”

 

Jessica blushed. “Thank you, Mr. Giles. Please, call me Jessica.”

 

Giles nodded. “And you may call me Rupert. Or Giles, if you will.”

 

She smiled a tiny, shy smile. “I think Rupert suits you.”

 

“Thank you.” He pulled his glasses off and began to polish them with the dinner napkin. “That’s a lovely dress, Jessica. It sets off your complexion.”

 

“Ehem?”

 

Giles looked up, startled. Buffy was glaring at him across the table. As Giles became more flustered she sighed. “Hello, Giles? Jessica isn’t the only one wearing new clothes!”

 

Giles laughed self-consciously and placed his glasses back on. “Oh, of course, Buffy. Er…you look quite lovely yourself. A-as do you Willow. A-and Tara.” Xander snickered. ~This was gonna be good.~

___________________________________________________

 

Xander looked around the table as everyone finished up eating. He smiled and felt comfortable warmth take up residence inside him. Never in his recollection had there been so much laughter in this house. Or so many people…people who wanted to be there. Never had he been so at ease at the dinner table. Of course, now that he thought about it, he’d never really sat down with his ‘family.’

 

Jessica laughed again and touched Giles on the arm. Xander caught Spike’s gaze and they traded raised eyebrows and grins. Xander took a moment to contemplate the questions that touch brought up. He liked Giles. A helluva lot more than his dad. Giles would be good to Jessica. Good for Jessica. ~Good for me.~ He decided that, whatever his mom chose to do, he would support her.

 

Then he took a moment to contemplate the questions the look he shared with Spike brought up. Was he really having…feelings for the blonde vampire? Feelings beyond, ‘hey you’re not so bad’ and ‘thanks for comforting me’? Did that quirky smile really tug at his heart? Did he really think there was no one he’d rather spend an afternoon with than Spike? Did he want so desperately to see if Spike’s lower lip was as tasty as it looked? ~Okay, Xander! Bring it down a notch!~

 

Jessica pushed her plate away and leaned back. “Spike, Rupert, Xander, that was the best meal I think I’ve ever had. Thank you boys for preparing it. And thank you for the lovely dinner party.” She smiled fondly at Xander and Spike. “You two are going to spoil me rotten.”

 

“You deserve it, mum.” Spike mumbled, looking at his plate.

 

“Rupert? I feel like a walk. Would you like to accompany me?” She turned shyly to Giles. His face lit up in a smile and he nodded.

 

“Certainly, Jessica. It would be my pleasure.” He stood and pulled Jessica’s chair out and helped her stand. His head shot up at the warning whistle Spike made and he caught the two stakes the vampire tossed his way. Giles looked between the stakes and Spike. “I truly do not want to know where you had those.”

 

He led Jessica out the front door and it closed softly behind them. Silence reigned at the table, but the eye contact was extensive. Eventually, Buffy broke. “They are so cute together!” she squealed.

 

Willow bounced in her chair. “Have you ever seen Giles so attentive?”

 

Tara smiled gently. “I think it’s the sweetest thing I’ve ever seen.”

 

“I’ve never seen my mom flirt before,” Xander grinned. “She’s pretty good at it. And it’s really nice to see her so happy to have a male notice her.” His expression faltered as he thought of how often Jessica played invisible.

 

“Well, I hope they shag soon. It’ll give me one more piece of leverage to get you and your mum outa this shithole.”

 

Buffy looked at Spike, shocked. Willow just nodded. “I agree. Anything to get Jessica and Xander out of here. I grew up watching Tony hurt them. I hated feeling so useless. I hated that they acted like they deserved it.” She looked pointedly at Xander, who vacillated between trying to become invisible himself and looking amazed.

 

“I didn’t think anyone noticed.” He whispered.

 

Willow smiled gently at him. “Of course we noticed, honey. Why do you think Jesse and I begged you to stay over so much?  I just wish we could have done something to help your mom.” Xander climbed out from under the table and wrapped Willow in a tight embrace.

 

“I love you, Wills.” He whispered into her hair.

 

“I love you too, Xan. Now, lets help Spike with the clean up here.” Xander pulled away, sniffing loudly and smiling.

 

“Yeah, sounds good.”

_________________________________________________

 

The dishes were done and everyone was piled on couches in the living room watching TV when Giles and Jessica came back through the door laughing. Jessica had her hand through the crook of Giles’ arm and was wearing his jacket. Giles shut the door and Jessica pulled his jacket from her shoulders.

 

“Thank you,” She said as she handed it to him.

 

“Of course, Jessica. Wouldn’t do to have you cold, would it?” He smiled at her. She blushed prettily.

 

“I think it’s time I took my leave.” He sighed. “I must open the shop early tomorrow. By the way, Jessica, you know you’re certainly welcome at the Magick Box any time you like. You needn’t wait for Xander or Spike to bring you. It’d be nice to have someone to talk to during the day between sales.” He looked nearly mortified by his boldness.

 

“Thank you, Rupert.” Jessica replied softly. I’ll do that. Until tomorrow?” Giles lifted her hand and gently kissed the back of it before returning it to her side.

 

“Until tomorrow, Jessica.” He smiled. The girls uncurled from the couch, yawning.

 

“Yeah, we need to get going too.” Buffy added. “See you guys later.” Xander echoed goodbyes at everyone; Spike just raised a hand, still watching TV. When everyone had left, Jessica sighed, unconsciously holding her hand to her chest.

 

“I’m going to take a shower and go to bed, boys. Have a good night.” She nearly floated up the stairs. Xander and Spike grinned at each other and went back to watching TV.

 

Xander started squirming halfway thought the show. He toed off his shoes and tucked his socks in them before turning sideways and laying lengthwise on the couch, his feet in Spike’s lap. He waited with bated breath for Spike to shove them off and tell him to get the hell on his side of the couch. But it never came.

 

Instead, Spike began rubbing his arches. He couldn’t stop the moan that escaped his lips. He froze and shot a glance at the vampire. Spike smiled, but never took his eyes off of the screen. He continued rubbing, massaging muscles Xander never even knew he had. When he’d finished one foot, he moved onto the other. Then up to Xander’s calves. Xander was a warm mushy pile of goo. Then he realized he had to pee.

 

Groaning, he got up, pointing to the bathroom. Spike nodded and Xander walked away on totally relaxed legs. He finished his business and washed his hands, eager to get back to his vampire. As he walked past Spike’s legs to get back to his seat, arms went around his waist and tugged him down. He went, assured that Spike wouldn’t let him fall.

 

Spike arranged him so that Xander’s head was in Spike’s lap. Xander settled in, enjoying the weight of Spike’s arm across his chest. A moment later, Xander felt fingers carding through his hair. His scalp tingled and he smiled, closing his eyes to focus on the feeling. He felt a vibration begin and opened his eyes in confusion. Then the sound came. Purring. Spike was purring. Xander’s smile grew and he closed his eyes again, succumbing to the relaxing sound; letting it lull him to sleep.

 

Spike continued playing with Xander’s hair, content for the first time in longer than he could remember. When he heard the boy’s heartbeat slow and his breathing even out he switched off the TV. Gently, he stood, pulling Xander into his arms as he did so. He carried him downstairs and set him in his bed. Spike tugged off the human’s shirt and maneuvered his jeans off as well. Once Xander was undressed, he tucked him under the covers and went to move away.

 

A hand on his wrist halted him. He looked down to see sleeping brown eyes peering at him under a great shag of hair. “Stay? Please?” he mumbled. Spike paused a moment then nodded. He shucked down to his own shorts and climbed in too. Xander curled up against his chest and burrowed his face into the crook of Spike’s neck. Spike wrapped arms around his boy and let his heartbeat send him into slumber.

_____________________________________________________

 

Xander slowly came back to consciousness. He smiled sleepily when he realized that Spike’s arms were still wrapped around him. He extricated himself and looked at the clock: 10:00. He stumbled to the bathroom wiping the sleep from his eyes and turned on the shower. As the water warmed up, he brushed his teeth.

 

Ten minutes later, his hair was washed and he was as clean as he was going to get. He dried off and stared at his reflection in the mirror. He wondered why showers never woke him up like other people. Even as he watched himself, his eyelids wanted to close again. ~Screw this.~ He decided to go back to bed. After all, it wasn’t everyday he had a nice comfy vampire to snuggle up to. As he moved to the bed, Spike’s eyes opened.

 

Xander pondered what drugs had been in his toothpaste for about 5 seconds and then crawled up onto the bed from the foot of it. He didn’t move up on his side. He started at Spike’s toes and crawled up the vampire’s body until he sat straddling the vamp on all fours.

 

Spike stared up at him, endless blue eyes curious. Xander slowly lowered his head, pausing a mere inch from Spike’s lips. He waited for argument much like last night. And much like last night, Spike seemed willing to let him do whatever he wanted. So he did. He closed the rest of the distance between them. Spike’s lips were cool, soft, and pliant. They allowed him to claim them, to mark them as he ran his tongue across the lower one on his way back up.

 

Spike’s eyes opened back up when the pressure of Xander’s lips was gone. “What was that for, luv?” He whispered. Xander smiled from his perched position above Spike.

 

“Don’t really know, Spike. It could be because you’ve been so wonderful the last few days with my mom and me. Or cause you let me cry myself asleep in your arms. Or cause you filled our house with laughter. But I’m thinking I’m going to be selfish and say it was for me. Cause I wanted to.”

 

Spike smiled up at him. “Oh.”

 

“You mad?”

 

“Not at all.”

 

“Good. I’m glad.”

 

Spike brought his hand up from between them and cupped Xander’s face. Slowly, he pulled Xander’s face down to him and lifted his own head. This time, Spike explored Xander’s lips. He tasted mint and sunshine. His tongue carefully probed at the part between the boy’s lips and was thrilled to be given admittance. He cautiously tasted Xander’s tongue, ran his own tongue over the surface of Xander’s teeth and then pulled back out again to nibble on his bottom lip.

 

He let his head fall back onto the pillow and looked up at Xander’s flushed face. The brunette slowly opened glazed brown eyes, his tongue darting out to capture every last taste of the blonde vampire. He smiled. “What was that for?”

 

“Well, it could be cause you saved my life. Or you shared your mum with me. Or you gave me someone to take care of again, making me feel needed. Or because you’ve made me feel wanted here. It could be cause you trusted me enough to fall asleep in my arms. But I’m going to be selfish too and say it was for me. Cause I’ve wanted to forever.”

 

“Well, what kind of host would I be if I didn’t cater to the every whim of my guest?” Xander smiled and lowered his head again, capturing the vampire’s lips. ~What the hell am I doing?~ He wrapped his tongue around Spike’s and sucked. The vampire moaned deep in his throat. ~Oh, yeah, I’m giving in to my latent homosexual desires and kissing the fuck out of the man I have a crush on.~

 

~Where the hell did he learn to kiss like that?~ Spike opened his mouth further, sealing it against the sweet cavern that begged to be tasted. ~He tastes as good as he feels. He feels as good as he looks. And he wants me.~ Xander broke the kiss and licked a trail from Spike’s chin to his ear. The vampire shuddered against him.

 

~Oh, yeah…Xander the sex god has entered the building!~ He hummed slightly against the dip behind Spike’s ear and felt him shudder again. ~I made Spike quiver!~

 

~Oh, bloody Christ, Xander…do that again! Why do I have to decide where he puts his mouth? Why can’t he be kissing me and licking my ear at the same time?~ he mentally whined.

 

~Okay…must stop now. Before I start dry humping his leg.~ Xander pulled away and looked into Spike’s flushed face. He smiled. “Cool, I didn’t know vampires could be flushed.”

 

Spike cracked an eye open and grinned. “Sure pet. We can get our blood to go…lots of places.” He thrust his hips up, rubbing his erection against Xander’s leg. Xander was the one shuddering now.

 

“God, Spike. We have to quit while I still can.” He moaned. The vampire took pity on him and dropped his hips back to the bed. Xander sighed and rolled off. “Okay. Let’s get dressed and see if mom is up yet.”

 

Spike nodded. “Sure, pet. If that’s what you really want to do.” He said innocently, snickering when the bulge in Xander’s boxers twitched.

___________________________________________________

 

They came out of the basement to find Jessica sitting at the table with a cup of coffee and the paper. She looked up and smiled. “Morning, boys.” As one, they walked to her sides and kissed her on the cheek. She lifted her face to give them access and caught the tail end of the look that passed between them. She smirked.

 

“Well, well, well.” She took a sip of her coffee. “I was wondering when you two would figure it out. Congratulations.” Xander blushed and busied himself at the coffee pot. Spike just dropped into a chair and smirked back. “Alexander, honey, I’m happy for you.” She reassured him. “I love you. I love William. I think you two are wonderful for each other. I couldn’t be happier.”

 

Xander smiled shyly as he set a cup of steaming black liquid in front of Spike and took his own seat. “Thanks mom. But I’m wondering how much of that happiness is due to us, and how much is due to a certain English gentleman who owns a magic shop.” He laughed at Jessica’s sly smile.

 

“He asked me to dinner last night on our walk.” She said smugly. “I said yes.” Suddenly, her smile fell and she looked seriously at the two males. “Can I ask you something and have you answer honestly?” Xander nodded. Spike snorted, then nodded.

 

“Do you think I’m acting…whorelike…by going to dinner and flirting with Rupert?” She asked in a small voice. Spike leaned over the table and took her hand into his.

 

“Mum, if I had my chip out, I’d widow you so you could get on with your life. I don’t consider your relationship with that smarmy bastard a marriage. It’s more of a case of slavery. If the Watcher treats you good, more power to both of you.”

 

Xander took her other hand. “I can’t guarantee I’d kill him, mom. I’m not really the evil-dead-kill-them-if-they-look-at-you-funny kind, but Giles is a good man. It’s nice to see someone treating you the way you deserve to be treated. It’s nice to see you smile. I love you.”

 

Jessica sniffed and smiled through a sheen of tears. “Thank you, boys. I love you both too. Now, where do you think Rupert will take me to dinner?”

Chapter Nine

Summary:         Dates, fluff, love.

 

“Whatcha wanna do while mom and Giles are on their ‘not-a-date-just-getting-to-know-each-other’ date?” Xander grinned at Spike after Jessica went upstairs.

 

Spike smirked and shrugged. “Hear there might be a good movie up at the theater.”

 

That evening, Xander and Spike made themselves scarce before Giles came to call; not before they paid Jessica so many compliments that she blushed and hid in the bathroom, yelling at them to go to the movie already. They followed her directions, holding hands in the car on the way to the theater.

 

Once inside, Spike bought a large tub of popcorn and a large drink. “Hey, Spike,” Xander grinned, “What are you planning on eating?” Spike looked shyly up at Xander through his lashes.

 

“I thought we might share.” Xander caught his breath. Sharing popcorn and a drink at the movies. Such a simple, first date thing. And the look on Spike’s face as he suggested it…who would have thought that the Big Bad was a romantic? Xander nodded and led the way into the theater. He plopped into a chair and held the popcorn while Spike seated himself.

 

Xander stared at the advertisements on the screen and wondered if Spike would want to hold hands in public. He had almost gotten up the courage to ask when he felt a cool hand pluck his own out of his lap. Spike linked their fingers and then rested their twined hands back onto Xander’s thigh. Xander just smiled and got comfortable, leaning against the leather-clad vamp.

_______________________________________________________

 

“Do you think we’ll really have technology like that?” Xander continued the conversation begun in the car. “I mean, the kind that can hook into a person’s head and record their thoughts?” He tossed his coat over a chair and headed for the kitchen. Spike removed his duster as well, but hung it carefully up in the hall closet. He sighed and picked Xander’s coat up, hanging it as well, then followed the excited boy into the kitchen.

 

He found Xander with his head stuck in the refrigerator, his ass sticking succulently in the air. Spike felt his cock twitch and forced his gaze up as Xander turned around. “Uh…well, pet,” Spike tried to focus on what the question had been before he had been treated to the view of Xander filling out those pants so nicely. “I guess you will. Bloody government already knows how to put chips in people’s heads. ‘S only one more step to eavesdropping on yer thoughts.”

 

He didn’t realize how bitter he sounded until Xander set his snack down on the table and moved in front of him. “I’m sorry, Spike.” He said softly, sneaking his arms around the vampire’s waist. “I didn’t mean to dredge that up.”

 

Spike forced a smile and shrugged. “No matter, luv. It happened. I deal.” Xander didn’t appear to be buying it. Spike closed his eyes against the knowing look in those dark brown eyes. He felt Xander tug him closer and he allowed the boy to wrap him in a hug. He discovered his face fit perfectly buried in the human’s neck.

 

“It does matter, Spike.” Xander whispered against his ear. “It happened and I hate it. I hate what it does to you, and I can’t help but feel guilty because without it, we wouldn’t be here now.”

 

Spike pulled his face from its hiding place and blue eyes met brown. He smiled. A real smile. “Silver lining and all, luv.” Xander smiled back and gently pressed his lips to Spike’s forehead. Spike mock growled at him and pushed him back.

 

“None of that nancy boy kissing, mate. Get yer grub and let’s see what’s on the telly.” Xander rolled his eyes and picked the munchies back up. Spike held the door open for him. On his way through, the vampire’s head darted forward and he dropped a brief kiss in return on Xander’s cheek.

________________________________________________

 

When Jessica crept through the door, shutting it quietly and wincing at the creak, the first thing she heard was the low sound of the TV. She flinched and mouthed ‘dammit, dammit, dammit’, and looked at her watch again. Another wince as the hands pointed out that it was 4 a.m.

 

She took a deep breath and bolstered her courage before venturing into the living room. She was prepared for a lecture, for knowing grins, for nearly anything but the vision in front of her. Her boys were snuggled up on the couch, Xander held tenderly in Spike’s arms. He’d burrowed his arms under the vamp and lay on Spike’s chest, peacefully asleep in the embrace of a 126-year-old killer. That thought would have frightened Jessica more had said killer not been nuzzling Xander’s dark curls and purring softly.

 

He looked up as she entered the room. “Hey, mum.” He whispered. “Have a good time?” Jessica was relieved to see no censure in the steady gaze. She nodded silently. Spike smiled. “Good.”

 

“Do you want me to help you get Xander to bed?” She asked quietly. Spike smiled down at the boy in his arms and shook his head. He breathed in his boy’s scent and looked up again.

 

“No, he’s comfy.” Jessica nodded again and waved generally in the direction of the stairs, an inquiry in her eyes.

 

“Go on, luv. Go get some sleep. We can grill you tomorrow.” He chuckled. Jessica grinned and skipped up the stairs to go over the amazing night she’d just had; leaving her son in care of the undead killer cuddling him on the couch. The killer who tightened his arms around the boy and kissed silky tanned skin before closing blue eyes and heading to sleep, secure in the knowledge that all of his family was home and safe.

_____________________________________________________

 

Jessica came downstairs the next morning feeling happier than she had in years. She had a bounce in her step and a smile on her face that only increased as she walked into a cooking lesson. She grinned at Xander’s frustrated face as he picked eggshells out of a bowl.

 

“I can’t do this, Spike.” He whined. “Please? Make it for me?” Spike leaned up against the sink and shook his head.

 

“You’re doing fine, pet.” He encouraged the pouting human. “Everyone has to pick the shells out once or twice.” Jessica pulled a chair out from the table and sat. A cup of coffee materialized in front of her and she shot Spike a grateful smile.

 

Xander peered over his shoulder. “Hi, mom!”

 

“Morning, pumpkin. Making French toast are you?” Xander frowned, glaring at Spike.

 

“He convinced me it wasn’t hard to do. Obviously, he never paid attention to the fact that my breakfast making skills lie in the exchange of cash for doughnuts.” The vampire only grinned and handed Xander a whisk. Xander stuck his tongue out at Spike and went back to the task grumbling.

 

“So, tell us all.” Spike prodded, flipping a chair around to straddle it. Jessica’s face lit up again and she blushed.

 

“It was wonderful.” She breathed. “He brought me flowers; roses. Then he took me to this amazing Italian restaurant. It had candles and a strolling violinist. He ordered wine and we talked about the menu. I didn’t know what anything was,” she said embarrassedly. “I mean, there wasn’t exactly stroganoff Hamburger Helper on the menu. But he was so sweet, explaining it all to me and making suggestions.”

 

“We started talking and just couldn’t quit. He is the smartest man I think I ever met.” She sighed. “I must have looked like an imbecile to him.” Spike growled and Jessica placed her hand over his. “I know, you hate when I call myself stupid. But that’s the thing. Maybe I looked like an idiot, but he never made me feel that way. He managed to look interested in everything I said. He even asked questions, so I know he was listening to me.”

 

“Then we started talking about history.” Her eyes lit up. “I had so much fun. He knows so many things. I told him that I had planned on majoring in History in college…but then I married Tony.” Her voice dropped. “Tony preferred I stay home and be a proper wife and mother. So, I never went.”

 

Spike was back to growling and this time Xander stepped forward and laid a comforting hand on the vampire’s shoulder. “Giles said I should go back to school.” She laughed, a little sad.

 

“So? Why don’t you then?” Spike demanded.

 

Jessica shrugged. “Tony would never allow it.” Now even Xander’s hand wasn’t enough. Spike’s eyes flashed yellow, startling Jessica at the first deliberate sign of Spike’s true nature.

 

“I swear by all that is both Holy and Unholy, mum, I will take you away from that miserable bastard.” He bit out. “I’ll take care of you and Xander. You will never want for anything again. You’ll never have to be surprised when someone pays you a compliment. You’ll never have to beat yourself down before he can do it for you.” He slammed his fist down onto the table. “If I didn’t have this bloody chip, I’d strangle him with his own entrails, turn him and leave him out on the front lawn to disintegrate in the morning sun.”

 

Jessica was sure that she was a sick, sick woman because Spike’s threats of violence and protectiveness made her feel warm and protected in a way she hadn’t felt since she was a child. “Shush, William.” She soothed. “I know, I know. Now, tell me about your evening with Xander.”

 

Spike shot her a glare, knowing she was once again changing the subject because she had no real reason to argue with him. Xander, however, latched onto the request with a vengeance, worried by Spike’s little trip down Fangy Lane. He related everything, to Spike’s embarrassment. Up to and including the handholding and being lulled to sleep by the vampire’s purring.

 

Jessica noticed that, while Spike complained about Xander telling everyone about his pouffyness, he listened carefully to the parts that Xander liked most last night. She was sure the vampire was taking mental notes to add to the list of Xander’s Favorite Things.

 

When Xander finally wound down, Jessica propped her head up on her hand. “So? When can I expect to have some grandkids to spoil?” She nearly spoiled it by laughing at them. Both men choked and grabbed for their juice glasses. Jessica tried to look innocent. “What? I think it would be lovely for you two to adopt. Oh! Maybe you could get Willow or Tara to carry a baby for you!”

 

Spike looked horrified. Xander caught the twinkle in her eye and began playing along. “Oh, no, mom. I couldn’t do that. I would die of embarrassment. Spike will have to ask them.” He calmly forked a bite of breakfast into his mouth, watching Spike out of the corner of his eye as the vamp gaped like a fish. “But you know, it’s a little too early to plan on kids quite yet.” He looked at Spike full on and smiled.

 

“But I really like the idea of sharing something like that with someone special.” A spark caught flame in Spike’s gaze.

 

“Am I special, then?” The vampire asked, his world narrowing down to two emotion-filled espresso colored eyes.

 

“Oh, yeah.” Xander whispered, and Jessica realized that they both had forgotten she was in the room. “You’re special. So special that it sometimes scares me. I feel like I don’t even know what I’m doing. That I’ve lost control of my own thoughts.”

 

Spike shook his head. “I only want what you’re willing to give me, luv. I don’t want to scare you, or smother you. I want you to take your time and be sure…be sure of what you want…of us.”

 

Xander smiled sweetly, bringing a pang to Jessica’s heart. “I know. That’s why you’re special.” Spike ducked his head, a tiny smile appearing on his face. Jessica placed a hand on either boy’s arm and squeezed.

 

“How about we spend today digging through some of those old photo albums we have in the attic?” Spike looked like a kid in a candy store. Xander looked as though he were being led to the gallows, but gave in once he saw the excitement on Spike’s face.

 

“Fine.” He sighed. “But even one snicker, Bleach boy, and you’re in big trouble.”

_____________________________________________________

 

They pored through the albums and scrapbooks until the sun went down. To his credit, Spike only snickered once or twice. Most of the time was spent ‘awwing’ over little boy Xander. Jessica enjoyed looking through her son’s life again, but was saddened to recognize the signs of abuse in nearly every picture.

 

Xander in turtlenecks. Xander in long sleeves. Xander with scrapes. Xander with bruises. Xander in a cast. Xander in a sling. But, in spite of each mark on his tender flesh, there was always Xander with a smile. She bit her lip as it began to quiver.

 

She wasn’t in many pictures. She was the one holding the camera. Tony had thought taking pictures was a waste of money so he refused to take pictures. Thus, there were very few of Jessica and Xander together. The only record of mother and son was when Jessica’s mother came to visit. Xander’s Grandma was enamored of her tiny brunette replica and went through rolls of film photographing her daughter and grandson.

 

The woman would mail the pictures to Jessica after she’d developed them and Jessica would reverently place them in photo albums that she would then hide away from Tony’s eyes. Unfortunately, her mother passed away before Xander reached 10. Pictures were few and far between after that. Jessica still managed to sneak a roll or two once in a while, but Xander had learned the hard way that the best way to avoid Tony’s anger was to just be gone. Hence, photo ops were scarce.

 

Jessica knew that Xander spent nearly all his time with Willow and Jesse, and she knew he was safe. She couldn’t begrudge him that small freedom. And so, in pictures, the life of Jessica and Alexander Harris, mother and son, ended when Jessica’s mother passed away.

 

She was thrilled to share what there was with someone who cared for Xander as much as she did; so she monopolized Spike the entire afternoon. Not that the vampire minded. He was gradually fitting the pieces of the Harris puzzle together and the pictures helped a great deal. Spike’s attention caught on a picture tucked partially behind a happy Xander playing in the sandbox. He plucked it out and stared.

 

Jessica, dressed in ratty hole-ridden jeans and a tight tank top; Xander, probably 9 or 10, wearing shorts and a tee shirt. Mother and son were soaking wet, their hair plastered to their heads as they fought over a spraying garden hose. They were laughing, their eyes sparkling, even though it looked as though neither were winning the contest.

 

Spike looked up from the picture, meeting Jessica’s dark eyes. “Can I have this one, mum?” Jessica glanced at the picture and smiled, eyes lost in thought. Finally, she nodded, and then turned the page. Spike continued to peruse through the pages with her, but his mind kept drifting back to that picture, now tucked safely away in his wallet. He vowed that he would see that look on their faces again.

___________________________________________________

 

They waited till the sun went down to venture out to the Magic Box. Xander grinned every time Jessica looked at the clock. And she looked at it no less than every 30 minutes. They found the other scoobies already there.

 

Jessica hovered in the entryway, suddenly unsure of herself. Giles, however, made a beeline for her and helped her out of her coat. He led her to a table in the back, overflowing with books, and quickly engaged her in helping to research a prophecy. Xander grinned at the excitement on her face and the Willow-y way she buckled down and went straight into research mode.

 

He turned to Spike to see where the vampire planned to pitch in, but whereas he and Jessica had shed their coats, Spike was still wearing his and was slowly inching towards the door. Xander frowned. “Spike? What are you doing?”

 

~Bugger it all. Caught.~ Spike just shrugged. “I have some business to take care of, mate. I’ll only be gone a few hours.” Xander’s face fell.

 

“But…but, it’s not safe out there!” Xander found he was nearly whining, but he couldn’t help himself. “What if those guys that hurt you find you again?” Xander’s pleading had garnered the attention of the scoobies and Spike silently growled in his throat.

 

“I’ll be fine, Xan.” He said calmly. “I’m not going anywhere near those daft buggers. But I have to take care of this. It’s important.” Xander didn’t look convinced. Spike sighed and waved Xander forward. Xander was at his side like a shot and Spike led them just outside the door.

 

Once it was shut, he swung the boy into his arms and lowered his lips to Xander’s. A small moan escaped Xander’s throat at Spike’s soft nibbling. “I’ll be okay, luv.” Spike whispered. “I promise you that. I’m not going to hare-ass off to pick a fight. I honestly have real business to take care of.”

 

Xander nodded unhappily. “Please be careful, Spike.” He murmured, giving in gracefully. Spike smiled at the pouty lip Xander probably didn’t even know he was displaying. The vampire allowed temptation to step in and leaned forward again to gently suck that delectable lip into his mouth. He felt Xander’s arms slip around him and his warmth press up against Spike’s cool flesh. He pulled away reluctantly and kissed the brunette on the nose, walking backwards and smiling until he hit the sidewalk.

 

Xander watched his vampire walk away and sighed before heading back into the shop. As he expected, all eyes were on him. He tried to brush it off with a goofy smile, but Buffy stood and crossed her arms. “Okay, spill it mister.” Another sigh and Xander made himself comfortable on the couch.

 

“Well, I was in the basement when mom heard this knock on the door…”

_______________________________________________________

 

The wee hours of the morning rolled around and still no sign of Spike. Xander was worried but tried to immerse himself in the research. Unfortunately, his fidgeting and pacing between pages gave him away. Finally Jessica gave up. “Come on, pumpkin. Let’s go home. We can wait for William there.” Xander shot a guilty look over his shoulder from his place at the window.

 

“Sorry, mom.” He winced. “I’m just…” Jessica nodded and gathered her coat up.

 

“I know, honey. I’m worried about him, too.”

 

Goodbyes were said and minutes later, they were on their way home. Jessica smiled over at Xander, navigating the roads with a sure hand. “I was proud of you tonight.” She said. Xander glanced at her and smiled.

 

“Why?”

 

“You made a really big step in your life today, telling your friends that you have feelings for a male vampire.”

 

Xander snorted. “I think that’s an understatement. I’m pretty sure I shocked Giles and traumatized Buffy for years to come.” They shared a laugh. “But I’m glad I did it.” He continued. “It makes it seem more real. Not like some dream that might slip away when I’m not looking.”

 

“I’m happy for you, sweetie.” Jessica rested her hand on Xander’s thigh. “Have you told Spike that you love him yet?”

 

Xander shook his head vigorously. “How can I possibly know if I’m in love with him?” He asked plaintively. “It’s only been a few days. Besides, he’s okay with where we are now.”

 

“Are you okay with it?”

 

Xander drove in silence for long moments. “I don’t know.” Jessica nodded and turned to look out the passenger window, mostly to hide the smug smile that snuck it’s way onto her lips.

________________________________________________

 

The Harris’s found something in the next two weeks that they hadn’t even realized they’d been missing.

 

Jessica spent nearly every free moment at the Magic Box, Giles thrilled to teach her anything her heart desired. They had dinner together at his apartment, in town, at her house. Each time, Giles made it seem like an honor to be seated at the table with her, just chatting about whatever came to mind.

 

She realized one evening that Giles knew more about her childhood and teen years in one week than Tony Harris had bothered to ask about in 20 years. He knew her dreams, her secret wish list of things to do before she died. He knew the story of her first kiss, her first job, even her first pet.

 

He made her feel smart, special, interesting. No…he really didn’t make her feel anything. He empowered her to feel those things about herself. And that was so much better. It was a bizarre but amazing feeling to be proud of something she’d said or done.

 

Xander was slowly coming to realize that he had something to offer as well. He was allowed to be himself for the first time since he realized that being himself only caused pain for him and his mother. He could be happy, or sad, angry or depressed…and it was all okay. Not that he had much reason to be angry, sad or depressed with the amount of attention Spike paid to him. But the fact that the vampire didn’t think any less of him for his ‘nancy boy’ tendencies, that he even encouraged Xander to express whatever emotion he felt…it was exhilarating.

 

Spike would laugh with him when he laughed, let him vent his anger when he was upset, and hold him when he cried. And every action would result in the same soft touches, gentle kisses and cuddling. Xander began to think about what Jessica said that night, nearly two weeks ago, when he’d told the scoobies about his feelings.

 

He realized he loved spending time with Spike. He loved how the Big Bad was so gentle, so caring towards Xander and his mom. He loved how concerned Spike was about their well-being and how frustrated he must feel at being unable to convince them to leave the Harris household. He thought about how Spike made him feel safe, warm, cosseted…loved.

 

Spike made him feel loved. He hoped he made Spike feel the same way. A light clicked on in his head. Spike made him feel loved. ~How can he do that unless he loves me? And I want him to feel the same way he makes me feel.~ Xander snorted at himself in disgust. ~Dumbass. You’ve been in love with him for weeks now and are just realizing it?~

 

He went in active search of the vampire and located him fussing around downstairs, separating laundry. He cleared his throat to let Spike know he was there and the smile Spike bestowed on him in turn nearly melted him. “Hey,” Xander said huskily. “You have a minute? I’d like to talk to you.”

 

Spike looked a bit nervous, but came to sit next to Xander on the side of the bed. “S everything alright, pet?” Xander nodded and took a hold of Spike’s hand.

 

“Spike,” he began, looking up from his perusal of the slender digits in his grasp. “I want you to know that the last two weeks have been the most amazing I’ve ever spent. I’ve never…been in a relationship…with someone who was okay with just getting to know each other. Someone who wanted to get to know me and not just tell me about themselves.”

 

Spike smiled cautiously. “Well, happy to oblige, luv. But I’ve enjoyed getting to know you. Twasn’t a hardship or anything.”

 

Xander squeezed his hand and smiled.

 

“I’ve really liked getting to know you, too. To know William. I’m glad that you aren’t afraid to show both sides of yourself, at least to me and mom.”

 

Spike frowned. “Why are you telling me this, Xander?”

 

“I just wanted to let you know how special I think the time we’ve spent together has been.” Xander explained.

 

Spike stiffened and pulled his hand free. “Are you leaving me? Asking me to go? Because, that’s fine. I can do that.”

 

Xander looked surprised and shook his head. “What the hell are you going on about, Spike? No, I’m not asking you to go.” Then it hit him. And he grinned. “Stupid vampire. I’m not trying to get rid of you. Actually, I’m asking you to stay. For good. With me.”

 

Spike just gaped. He didn’t fight when Xander took his hand back. “Why?” He whispered.

 

“Because I love you, dumbass.” Xander laughed. Spike slowly began to smile. His grip tightened in response to Xander’s hands. His eyes began to light up, mirroring Xander’s.

 

“Y-you love me?”

 

Xander nodded, reaching out with one hand to brush a curl away from Spike’s eyes. “I love you.”

 

“I love you, too, Xander-mine.” He breathed. “And I can’t imagine anything that would make me happier than to stay with you. For good.”

Chapter Ten

Summary:         It ends.

 

A scooby meeting was in progress. Giles prowled through the bookcases. Willow searched the net. Tara pored through books. Buffy stared blindly at he book in front of her, turning pages every so often. Xander and Spike sat next to each other, unobtrusively playing footsie while Spike read phrases out of a Latin book and Xander wrote them down in English.

 

The door crashed open, causing everyone to jump. After their initial start, they leapt from their chairs. Jessica staggered in, drenched with the rain pouring outside, limping and clad in shredded clothes. She sported a freshly created black eye and split lip. Xander and Spike raced to her side, each taking an arm, and led her to the couch. They tenderly set her down and took up positions on either side.

 

Moments later, a bowl of warm water and a fresh towel were placed on the coffee table and Giles knelt in front of her. Carefully dipping the towel in the water, he clenched his jaw against Ripper coming out to killing the bastard she married.

 

“I-I’m sorry to barge in on you like this, Rupert.” She whispered. “I had no other place to go, and this time I thought he might actually kill me.” Giles placed a finger against her swollen lip and shook his head.

 

“You are welcome here, my dear. You are always welcome here.” He returned, replacing his finger with the warm cloth.

 

“Mom, what happened?” Xander choked out, clutching her hand.

 

“He finally noticed.” She shook her head wryly. “It’s been nearly two days since he got back. I guess Angie accustomed him to something else these last two weeks. It took him this long to realize I was different. He got a phone call tonight I can’t be sure, but I think Angie told him to eff off. He had to get his jollies somehow, right?” She smiled painfully against her lip. “When he came looking for me, he found a closet of new clothes, a drawer of new makeup, and a woman who acted nothing like the wife he slapped around two weeks ago.” She sucked in a breath.

 

“I was so stupid. I thought that the clothes, makeup, and hair could change me. Could make me something besides his punching bag.” Her voice broke. “He told me to get rid of everything. I told him no. So he hit me. A lot. Actually, I suppose that was for the best. I was unconscious most of the time he was shredding my clothes and crushing the makeup.” She winced and looked at Spike.

 

“I’m so sorry, William. You spent so much money on me and now you don’t have anything to show for it.”

 

Spike growled. “I have you, luv.” He took her other hand. “The clothes made you feel better about yourself. They made you see a part of yourself that you’ve been hiding for far too long. That part of you was what brought you here tonight. Not too long ago, you would have let him beat the hell out of you, apologized for pissing him off, and followed him into the bedroom for a shag.” Jessica blushed and glanced up at Giles. Spike ignored it.

 

“Not this time. Whatever else that money was good for, it gave you enough of yourself back to leave. To come to us. I’d say that money was well spent.” He grasped her chin. “Jessica, mum…you have to leave him.” He held up a warning hand as her mouth opened. “No. No more excuses. They’re all bullshit. Why are you staying with him? Because divorce is wrong? Because you’ve done something so horrible you deserve to be punished? Because you have to protect your son?”

 

He snorted. “Bollocks. Half of all marriages end in divorce nowadays. Hell, it’s fashionable, even! You’ve done nothing wrong. You are a good and beautiful person. You deserve to be loved and protected. To live in joy and happiness. Not shame and misery. And Xander is leaving with me, so you have no reason to stay to protect him.” Xander’s head shot up.

 

“Um, Spike, I-“

 

“And as for you, whelp,” Spike transferred his gaze to the younger man, pinning him with his eyes. “Why are you staying? Because he’s your father and you owe him loyalty? Because if you and your entire existence weren’t such a ‘horrible mistake’, he wouldn’t have a reason to hurt you? Because you need to protect your mum?”

 

He leaned forward. “Well, let me tell you something, Alexander Harris. You owe him nothing. Nothing! And how could you be a mistake when your mum loves you as much as she does? Or your friends?” ~Or me?~  “You are bright and pure. You have done nothing to deserve the pain you’re in. And your mum is coming with me, so you don’t need to stay to protect her anymore.”

 

Jessica met Spike’s eyes. “Very sneaky, mister.” Spike’s eyes twinkled for a moment.

 

Then he sighed, all traces of humor gone. “Luv, you and Xander…you’ve become my world. Not an hour of the day goes by when I’m not thinking of you in some capacity. Wondering how you are, what you’re doing, if you took your bloody vitamins.” He rolled his eyes.

 

“I’ve watched you change these last couple of weeks. Both of you. I’ve watched a light come into your eyes. I’ve watched you realize that you have something to share. That you are worthy of love. You may be pissed that I’ve spent money on you. But if that’s what it takes to bring a smile to your face, I’ll spend the rest of my bloody unlife with my hand in my wallet. I’ll stuff you mattress with money. I’ll line the ground with it as you walk. Just please…come with me.”

 

He sat back, embarrassed at the passion in his voice. “Jessica.” Buffy’s voice broke the silence. “This may be the first time I’ve said this, but I agree with Spike.” Spike shot her a glare, which she ignored. “You and Xander are amazing people. You deserve so much more than you’re getting right now. Please. Listen to Spike. Do it for you. Do it for Xander.”

 

Jessica looked at her hands. “William. Xander and I have no money and I refuse to spend the rest of my life living off of you. I care about you. You fell at my feet, bleeding and broken, and somehow wormed your way into my life, into my heart. I can’t do that to you. I can’t treat you like you’re just a pocketbook. You’re like my son, for God’s sake!”

 

Spike clenched his jaw, causing a tiny muscle to jump. “Bloody hell, Mum. Money means nothing to me. Haven’t we covered this enough? I lived in a crypt. I steal things from the dump. Money is just little pieces of paper. But how I feel about you…about both of you…that’s precious to me.” He rubbed the bridge of his nose, willing himself not to humiliate himself in front of the damn Slayer by crying.

 

“I…need you, Mum. I need Xander. You have become something I haven’t had in a very long time. You’ve become my family. I’m not like other vampires, Mum. I’m not a loner. I need family. I need you.” He took his hand away from his face, surreptitiously wiping a stray tear away as he did so.

 

“Please, Mum. If you can’t leave for you your sake, won’t leave for Xander’s sake, then please…leave for mine. I can’t lose another family. I can’t.” His voice rasped away into nothing, leaving him almost imperceptibly rocking back and forth. Jessica wiped her eyes, uncaring that she was openly crying. The girls weren’t making any attempt to hide their tears either. Even Giles sniffed once or twice. Xander just watched Spike, love shining from his eyes like the midday sun.

 

“All right.” Jessica whispered. “You win, William. We’ll come.” Spike threw his arms around her. Xander did the same, and no one said anything when they noticed the males’ hands creep past Jessica’s waist and touch each other.

 

“I suppose we need to begin looking for a place for you to stay, then.” Giles cleared his throat. They pulled away from the hug, but each man kept an arm around Jessica.

 

“Not necessary, Watcher.” Spike grinned. “I think you all need to come outside with me.”

 

___________________________________________

 

“Oh, my God, it’s gorgeous!” Buffy exclaimed, running her hand down the fender of the new Explorer parked two streets over. “Who’s is it?”

 

Spike held up a key ring and jingled it to get Xander’s attention before tossing them at him. The brunette caught them with a gasp and looked from the smiling vamp to the SUV and back to the keys. “No way.” He breathed. The vamp merely nodded.

 

“Well, come on, Xander!” Buffy whooped. “Let’s take it for a test drive!” Spike stepped to the passenger door and held it open for Jessica. He then moved the backseat door and held it open for the Watcher and the witches. With a grin at Buffy, he nodded toward the rear of the vehicle and they climbed in, leaning over the back seat to see everyone.

 

“William, what is this?” Jessica demanded.

Spike shrugged. “I told you I’d find a way to take you away from him, mum. Told you I’d take care of you. Told you that more than a week ago. Went out. Made some arrangements. Needed to get a place ready for you. Needed to get you something to get you from one place to th’other.

 

“Well, this is very nice, Spike…” Giles began.

 

 “Head over to Acacia Drive, Xan.” Spike interrupted with a grin.

___________________________________________

 

“Pull into that driveway on the right,” Spike instructed. When the vehicle stopped, everyone poured out and swarmed on the lawn.

 

“What is this?” Jessica asked, falling in love instantly, hoping it was for rent.

 

“This, Mum, is our new home.” Spike bent to kiss her cheek softly and pressed a piece of paper into her hands. With a look of confusion, she glanced at it. As she read, her hand came up to cover her mouth and she swayed. Xander stepped up and put a concerned arm around her waist.

 

“What is it, Mom?” He took the paper from her and read it himself. His eyes widened and he raised his head, staring in awe at Spike’s smiling visage. “Y-you bought a house for us?” he whispered.

 

Spike threw an arm around each Harris. “That’s just the beginning, mate.” With an insistent tug, he pulled them to the front door. Releasing them for a moment, he dug in a duster pocket and pulled out an envelope. From within it, he withdrew two key chains, one with a ‘J’, one with an ‘X’, each complete with several keys. Handing them to Jessica and Xander, he motioned toward the door and Jessica hesitantly stepped forward.

 

“Here, Watcher. Thought you and the girls might like one too.” He tossed the envelope to Giles, who emptied it into his hand. Four more keys fell out and Giles dispersed them among the other scoobies. “Now, let’s go on a tour.”

 

___________________________________________

 

“I didn’t know what exactly you’d be wantin’ in your room, so I outfitted the other two in manly colors.” He grinned. “You pick which one you want and I’ll take the other one. Don’t really care which.” Xander looked at the vampire closely. He could see the telltale signs of strain around those beautiful eyes. He could tell that Spike wanted to stalk across the room and declare that Xander belonged to him and would be sleeping wherever Spike slept. And he also saw the pain that told him Spike would never do that. Because it would hurt Xander. With a gentle smile, he made his decision.

 

“Pick the one I want, huh?”

 

Spike fidgeted. “Yeah, mate. Whichever one.”

 

“Which one is yours?” He asked quietly. Spike gave him an ‘are you daft?’ look.

 

“I just told you, Xan. I haven’t picked one. I wanted you to choose where you want to be.” Xander’s smile got bigger and he stepped forward towards the smaller man. Reaching out, he tugged him into the circle of his arms. Spike immediately stiffened and looked frantically from the scooby gang to Xander’s amused expression. “What-“

 

“I’m choosing.” He smiled down at Spike, loving that he was holding the man he loved in front of his friends and family. “And I ask again…which one is yours?”

 

Spike stopped moving. He froze in his love’s arms and just stared into the warm depths of dark eyes. “Xan? Pet, what are you doing?” He whispered dazedly.

 

Xander chuckled. “You know, I picked up some annoying habits from my years of emersion in estrogen. I like to talk. I like to share. I like to gossip. I also like to have my friends know when I’m in love.” He kissed Spike on the forehead. “Wil, they know.”

 

“H-how long?” Spike managed to force out.

 

“As much as it pains me to remember the gory details,” Giles pulled off his glasses and wiped them thoroughly, “Since your first kiss.”

 

“Very adorable.” Tara smiled.

 

“And the first time you told him you loved him…dumbass.” Buffy grinned.

 

“Oh, oh, oh!” Willow bounced. “And the first time he heard you purr!” she wiggled a bit as she bounced. Spike buried his head in Xander’s chest.

 

“Bloody hell, this is the Hellmouth. Why won’t the floor open up and swallow you when you need it?” His voice was muffled against Xander’s shirt, but he clutched his love closer to him and smiled along with the laughter from the scoobies.

 

He’d found home.

The End

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