Facing Fear

Suki Blue

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Part One


“What was the name of this thing again?”


Spike huffed and glared at his companion in arms. “It’s a bloody Spatatula.  If you had been paying attention earlier instead of grieving over that sodding demon bint, you would have bloody well known that and I wouldn’t have to keep repeating myself.”


“Spike, you could spell that name out for me a hundred times over and I still wouldn’t remember it.  I kind of have this blind spot for stupidly long demon names.  And FYI, I wasn’t grieving…I was contemplating the past, making sense of the future, sorting out…”


“Oh bloody hell, Harris. Enough with the babble. Bloody demon is gonna hear us coming a mile off.”


Xander was silent and Spike counted back from five in his head.












“And besides…”




“It’s not like I was madly in love with her and she just left me, was it?”


Spike rolled his eyes “Nooo.”


“We had a good time, I wouldn’t commit, so she left.  So when you think about it, I technically left her.”


“Yeah, ok, Harris.  You left her. She left you. Who bloody cares? Just shut up, get with the game and I’ll take you for a beer after.  You can ponder the failing that is your love life over a game of pool.”


“Alright, alright. You’re buying though, right?  Anya pretty much cleaned me out.  Nothing new there. No sooner than I would bring home a pay check, she would be out spending it on god knows…”


“Harris,” Spike warned.


“Okaay, I’m quiet. Quietness is here.  You’ll hear no more from me…No-sireee. Quiet as a mouse.  Wouldn’t even know I was here. Quiet incarnate, that’s me.”


Spike stopped in his tracks and turned to give Xander a full on glare. “’No, patience incarnate, that’s me. Now if you don’t shut up in the next ten seconds, I’m gonna ram this stake so far up your arse I’ll be able to pick your teeth with it!”


“Um spatula?”


Spike shook his head in exasperation and puzzlement. “No. Stake.”


Xander pointed “Uh, no, Spike?  Spatula, behind you.”


Spike suddenly felt the presence of a demon and he spun in the direction of Xander’s pointed finger. “Bugger.”


He turned quickly back to Xander and re-pronounced the demons name through gritted angry teeth. “Spatatula, you bloody idiot.  Now look what you’ve done! I wanted to sneak up on it. Ambush the sodding thing.”


Xander pointed again “Err, Spike? I think it’s trying to ambush us right now.”


“Bloody hell. Pet, get back!”


Spike placed a powerful hand into the centre of Xander’s chest and pushed him backwards, sending him flying into a bush and onto the ground with a pained thud. Wincing, he sat up and rubbed at an ass cheek that was probably going to bruise. He listened to the furious fight that was going on outside the shrubbery, ready to jump up and help if Spike should need him.  Strangely, his mind kept drifting and he could only think one thing. Did Spike just call me pet?




Spike swore and brushed off blue flaky skin from his duster. “Damn Spatatula, never heard of moisturiser, clearly.”


The fight had been short. Flaky but short.  This Spatatula had been female.  Half the size of the male version.  For this, he was grateful. A male would have taken quite a bit more effort to dispose of.


Spike glanced around, suddenly remembering that he’d tossed his companion somewhere in the undergrowth. Spike caught site of him and smirked.  The boy was having some sort of disagreement with a bush.  A fight had broken out and it looked like the shrub was winning.


“You alright over there, Harris? That plant putting up a struggle is it?”


“Stupid bush. I’m all caught up. Damn it! Ow!”


“Bleedin hell. Hang on a minute. Let me do it.”


Spike dropped his weapon and steamrolled over to the worked up human.


“Just hold still…don’t…stop moving…I can’t get hold of it…”


“Spike, it’s down my pants now.  Ow! Careful.”


“I’m trying to be careful.  Just stop wiggling. I can’t get it out when you’re writhing all over the place.”


“Ahh! It’s digging in me, Spike. Get it out.”


“I’m doing my best. Here you hold it and I’ll pull.”


“Ok, but be gentle yeah, I think it’s stuck right in me.”


“Gentle ain’t in my vocabulary, mate. Just…just…hang on, turn around.”


“I can’t!”


“Right. Hold on then. Let me just position myself a little more over here. Right that’s it. Now brace yourself.”


“Why? What are you going to do?”




“OWW! Fuck, Spike. Do you have to be so rough? That really hurt!”


“Gimme a break, Harris.  You’re free aren’t you? Besides it can’t have hurt all that…”


Spike pulled Xander the rest of the way out of the bush and was shocked to see a large gash running from the boy’s navel down into his pants.




“Yes, oh. Next time you push me into a bush, could you please make sure it’s a nice safe one with no prickly leaves or thorns.”


“I’ll see what I can do, mate.  In the meantime, though, let’s head back to your gaff. Get that cleaned up before you get an infection, die, and I get the blame.”


“You’re all heart, Spike.”


“And don’t you forget it.”




Xander was suddenly so tired. He turned his key in the lock and pushed open the apartment door. He felt Spike push past him and watched slightly irritated as the vampire headed straight for the fridge.


“Oh, help yourself, Spike, please, why don’t you?”


Spike slammed the fridge door closed. “I would if you had anything decent in there.  You eat such crap.”


“I do not! That is quality pizza in that fridge, you know”


“And how old is that quality pizza?”


“Only a few days, thank you, fangless”


Only! Bleedin’ hell, Harris! You’re gonna poison yourself.  I wish you bloody would.”


As if on cue, Xander’s skin paled to a deathly white, his eyes rolled up into his head and he fell backwards, hitting the wall and sliding slowly down it.


Spike glanced around the room suspiciously “Err, if anyone’s listening.  Anya or anyone else.  I didn’t mean that.  That wasn’t an actual wish.”


Spike waited for a reply but got none.




He quickly rushed over to the fallen human and checked for a pulse.


“Jesus Christ.”


He couldn’t find one.




Part Two



Spike tore across the room, snatched up the phone and dialled


“Yeah, I need an ambulance, quick…my mate…he’s…he’s not breathing….”


Xander’s eyes flashed open and he gasped for much needed air.


Spike did a double take. “Oh, yes he is. My mistake...he was….asleep. Pardon me.”


Spike hung up the phone and ran back over to a very pale Xander.


“Fuck. Are you ok? Pet? Speak to me?”


Xander groaned and tried to sit up. “Yeah…I guess.”


“Fucking hell, Harris. You scared the bleedin’ shit out of me.” He swiped at Xander’s head.


“Hey! What was that for? Sickly person here!”


“Well, don’t die on me, then. It’s not polite.”


“Oh, so sorry.  Next time I’ll raise my hand and ask permission first….Hey! What do you mean? I’m not dead.  Am I?”  Xander suddenly heaved and clutched at his stomach. “Oh, Spike.  I think I’m gonna…”


“Bloody hell, not on me you’re not!”


Spike hauled Xander into a standing position and dragged him to the bathroom, where he was promptly sick next to the toilet.


“Well, that’s just lovely.”


Spike pulled Xander over to the bath tub and draped him over the side. “There. You can’t possibly miss now.”


Xander moaned, twisted around and threw up over Spike’s boots.


Spike threw his hands in the air. “Could things get any worse?”


Xander passed out


“When will I learn to keep my big gob shut?”






Willow stared down at her snoring friend. “How long has he been like this?”


“About half an hour. He’s been sick, too, ‘course that was after he died.”


“He died!”


“Yeah, well, no.  I thought he was dead.  He just fell over and stopped breathing. Didn’t have a pulse or nothin’.  Then, quick as he died, he was alive again! Then he was sick and then he passed out.”


“Goddess! Do you think we should try and wake him?”


“Naah. Let him rest.  I pinched him earlier, he seemed ok.” Spike rubbed at the back of his head in memory of the consequences of pinching someone that wanted to sleep.


“Ok, well, I think we should call Giles. This sounds a little weird. I mean, dying then un-dying? That’s not normal. It couldn’t get more not normal. Not unless he sprouted breasts and a pair of wings. That actually happened to a guy in my old chem class.  It was so weird, I’d never seen a pair of…”


“Willow! Focus!”




“You will be.  Look, could we not call Giles? Couldn’t you just mojo him back to his normal, irritating, healthy self.”


“No, Spike! We don’t know what we’re dealing with here.  We need to find out who or what did this to him and why.”


Spike swore under his breath.


“Spike? Why don’t you want to call Giles?”


“Obvious innit? Xander was in my charge.  I was supposed to be looking out for him.  And look what happened.” Spike pointed at the bed. “You tell Giles, Giles tells Buffy, I end up inside a vacuum cleaner.”


“That wouldn’t happen.”


“Sure about that, Red? They all hate me, you know.  You and jabber mouth here are the only ones that even talk to me properly.  And that’s no consolation. Harris would talk to a fire hydrant if it meant he could babble uninterrupted. I’m just one step up.”


“Spike, that’s not true.  We all like you, even Buffy.  We just don’t always show it.”


“Yeah, right.”


Willow sighed and took pity on him. “Look, tell me what happened tonight.  Maybe we can work it out without involving the others.”


Spike retrieved the first aid kit and relayed the evening’s events.


“…And I swear it didn’t touch him.  Then I helped him out of the bush and we came back here.  That’s when he collapsed.”


Spike lifted Xander’s shirt and examined the wound that the plant had inflicted.  He’d meant to look at it earlier but what with all the dying and vomiting it had slipped his mind.


“Spike? What’s that?”


“Oh, turns out Harris attracts plants as well as demons. Bush got ‘im good and proper”


“Oh my! A plant did that? It looks really sore…Spike? What did this bush look like?”


“Err, bushy?”




“Alright, keep yer knickers on.  It was a big round thing, Spikey leaves, thorny stems aaaand I think it had flowers. Yeah, it did. Little purple and red ones.”


“I don’t think I’ve ever seen one of those, I wonder what it is?”


“Well, don’t look at me, I don’t bloody know! Perhaps I should go back and ask it!”


Willow frowned and brushed off the sarcasm. “You think you’ll be alright looking after him for a while? I’m going to pop home and get a couple of books.  I think Xander may have been poisoned by that plant.”


Spike’s eyes widened. “Well go on then, go! Find out what it is! Xan’ll be fine here with me, I’ll look after him….Go on, what you waiting for? Go, go!”


“Ok, I’m going!” Willow started to walk away, but turned back at the bedroom door. “Spike? Where are your shoes?”


“In the bath.”


Willow wished she hadn’t asked.




Xander cracked open an eye and felt something cool inside his pants.  He cracked open the other eye and lifted his head.


“Spike? Why have you got your hand in my pants?”


“Don’t panic, Harris. I’m just ‘aving a look.”


“Excuse me?”


“At the wound, idiot!”


“Oh…What wound?”


“From the bush.”


“Oh….What bush?”


Spike huffed. “You really do have the memory span of a bloody tea pot.  The bush.  In the woods. Pay attention.”


“I’m trying!”


Spike finished spreading antiseptic over the wound and he sat back looking glum.


“What is it?”




“You, you look all...upset”


Spike was indignant. “I don’t get upset!”


Xander wasn’t buying it.  His head may be currently spinning like a disco ball, but he hadn’t quite lost grip of his senses. “Then, what?”


“It’s just…I didn’t mean it, you know,” Spike said quietly


“Mean what?”


“Crickey, Harris! What I said, just before you...just before you died. I said that I wished you would die of food poisoning. But, I didn’t mean it. When you collapsed, I thought it was me, I thought I’d done it. Looks like I was wrong, though. I mean, if it had happened because I’d wished it, then you’d still be dead. So what I’m tying to say is…I’m glad you’re not dead...or not still dead.  Whatever way you want to look at it.”


“Wow, full on Spike babble, that’s a first. Thanks…for not wishing I was still dead…This conversation is weird.”


“That it is, mate. Change of subject? How you feeling?”


“Um, thirsty? It’s ok, though.  I can go get something…”


“No, you don’t.  Stay exactly where you are. Don’t want you passing out again.  Makes the place look untidy.  I’ll get you some water.”


Spike walked to the door and turned.  He pointed a stern finger at Xander. “And don’t even think about dying again or I’ll be right pissed off.”


“Got it. No dying.  I can do that.”


Spike walked to the sink and filled a glass with water.  He had to admit that he was worried about the whelp. Why? God only knows.  The boy was loud mouthed, irritating and sexy…no, no. That’s not right, that’s not what he meant. Xander certainly wasn’t sexy when he was throwing up all over his docs. Well, at least it wasn’t his duster.


Muttering, Spike made his way back to the bedroom.  When he reached the door he froze.  Xander was slumped over the pillows.  He was deathly white and his vacant eyes stared blankly into nothingness.


He was dead…again.


Spike dropped the glass, ran to the bed and gathered the lifeless boy in his arms. “No, no, no, not again.  You can’t do this to me again.”




Part Three



The feeling was the same as before.  Air suddenly blasting into his body and filling his lungs like a balloon.  He forced his eyes open but found that darkness still reigned. Where was he? Where was Spike?


Xander heard a faint voice.  It was deep, musky and held a strange, yet comforting, edge of evil.


“Come back to me, Xan, come back.  Come back to me, Xan, come back…”


As the words were repeated like a mantra, the fog began to lift from Xander’s tired brain and he recognised the voice as Spike’s


Oookaaay, so Spike was here, but the question still remained of where here actually was.  Why was it so dark?  As Xander drew in a slow shaky breath, he caught the scent of leather, JD and smoke. 


He realised where he was.




Spike choked out his words through sobbed pleas.


“Come back to me, Xan, come back.  Come back to me, Xan, come back…”


Xander had been dead for nearly ten minutes now and Spike was giving up hope.  The pain of losing his friend was ripping his un-dead heart in two.  Why wouldn’t the little shit wake up? This was just like Xander, the inconsiderate, stubborn bastard.  Fuck it. Whelp was probably doing it on purpose…Why won’t he wake up?


“Come back to me, Xan, come back.  Come back to me, Xan, Come back…”


A muffled voice rose up from somewhere near Spike’s chest.


“Um…I’m trying, but it’s a little difficult when you’re suffocating me in your duster.”


Spike froze.  He hardly dared to believe it.  Slowly, he pushed Xander away from his body and stared in wonder at his friend’s pale and confused face.


“You came back.”


“Uh-huh,” Xander said, wearily. “Wanna know why?”


Spike placed one hand on Xander’s cheek and smiled “Tell me, pet”


“’Cos I need to barf.”


Spike jerked his hand back quick as lightning.


“Eh? Again? You’re kidding?”


“Nope, not kidding here.  Serious barfage coming your…way.”


“Right.  Just hold it in for a...bloody hell!”





“You sure that’s it?”


Xander leant against the bathroom tiles and nodded.


“Yup, officially empty.  No more to see here.”


Xander retched.


“See?  Nothing.  Dry as a bone.  Empty as my bank account.”


Xander stared at Spike.  Something was missing.  Oh yeah.


“Sorry about your duster.”


Spike glanced backwards.  The said garment was laying defeated in the bath tub with only a pair of docs for company.


“S’okay, pet.  It’s seen worse.” Spike pondered for a second. “Why is that vomit always has carrot chunks in it? I get spaghetti hoops in mine, too.”


“Uh…Spike? Could we not talk about it? I’m pretty sure I could conjure some carrots from somewhere.  And Spaghetti hoops?  I just don’t wanna know.”


“Sorry.  Xan? Please don’t die again.”


Xander wondered if Spike really did care about him.  Did he really give a shit if he lived or died or was he only concerned with not getting staked? Xander decided to test him.


“Spike, its ok, my friends won’t blame you…”


Spike’s temper flared.  What with the dying and not dying events of the evening, his nerves were in tatters.


“The hell they wouldn’t!  Stake first and ask later, that’s what would happen.  Wouldn’t even give me the chance to explain, I’d wager. Bunch of bloody gits that they are.” 


Spike sucked in a long harsh breath and was about to let loose a string of expletives when he caught a look of hurt flashing across Xander’s face.  Spike immediately regretted his outburst.  He wasn’t really thinking about what the scoobies would do to him if Xander died and he wanted Xander to know that.  He wanted him to know that he, Spike, the evil soulless vampire, cared very much about him and didn’t want him to ever die


“Xan, I…”




Spike cursed under his breath.  Willow was back, her timing impeccable as ever.




“In the bathroom, Red.  There in a sec.”


Xander pushed himself up the wall and Spike reached out an eager hand to help him.


“I’m fine!” Xander snapped.


“You’re bloody not, Harris. C’mere. Lemme help you.”


Xander snatched his arm away from Spike’s grip. “I said I was…dizzy.”


Xander swayed and toppled sideways. He crunched up his eyes and prayed that the floor would be kind and not hurt him too much.  Spike didn’t give him the chance to find out. With vampiric speed, he grabbed at Xander’s falling body, flipped his legs up and cradled him against his chest.


Xander’s last thought before he passed out in Spike’s arms was. Mmmm, Spike shaped cushion, nice.




Spike carried Xander out of the bathroom and into the bedroom.


“Oh, Spike. Is he ok? What happened?”


“Repeat performance.  You got the books?”


Willow stood at the bedroom door and nodded.


“Well? Don’t just stand there gawping like a bleedin’ idiot, bring ‘em in.”


Willow fetched the books and handed one to Spike. “You look in that one.  It’s got more pictures…”


“What you sayin’?  I can sodding read you know!”


“I know that, Spike, I just thought that maybe you might be able to recognise the bush from one of the pictures.”


“Oh.  Yeah, alright.  Whatever.”


Willow frowned at the vampire.  Was he sulking?


“There. That one.”


Spike pointed confidently to a picture in the book and passed it over to Willow.


Willow studied the page for a moment before looking back up at Spike. “Are you sure?”


“Course I’m bloody sure.”


“But this plant is harmless.”


Spike Lifted Xander’s shirt. “Does that look like the result of something harmless?”


“Well, no.  But it says here that the sap from a….Brocclicai can cause skin irritation, maybe that’s all it is.”


“It can’t be.  It’s got to cause more than that.  There’s no other explanation. Keep reading.”


Willow looked back at the book and after about thirty seconds her eyes widened. “Oh, Goodness.”


“Wot? Wot?


“Um, Spike? You didn’t happen to see any spiders in that bush?”


Spike paled to the colour of a bottle of milk “No, I didn’t.  Should I have?”


“Well it says here that the Brocclicai is a chosen nesting site for the Tarantula Giganticus.”


Spike shuddered and ran shaking fingers through his hair. “Huh. Is that so? Giganticus eh?  Sounds…big.”


“So did you see one?”




“Are you sure?”


“Giganticus, Red.  Read between the lines. It must be massive.  I think I would know if I’d seen one.”


“But it says here that the newborns are only an inch in length…”




Spike got up and paced the room.  His mind was filling with a vision of inch long spiders scurrying around his feet.  Jesus, he could have been standing right next to one…or two…or a hundred! Spike laughed hysterically and repeated himself.


Only? Christ on a bike!”


“Spike, I think this is what we're looking for.  It gives a brief list of symptoms, sickness, dizziness, lethargy...”


Spike snatched the book and babbled like a crazy person.  “No, no, no, it can’t be. Anything but this.  Anything but spiders. I can’t bear it.  Disgusting. No, no, no…”


Willow picked up another book.  She closed it and bashed Spike over the head.


“Oi! What was that for?”


“Snap out of it, Spike.  This is serious! We have to help Xander.”


“I bloody well know that!”


“Well then. Just calm down.  There aren’t any spiders here now.”


“So what do we do?”


Spike suddenly pointed an accusing finger at Willow.


“And don’t you dare sodding well tell me that we have to go and collect a bloody sample.  Cos I’d rather set light to my duster.”


“Calm down, Spike.  Don’t get excited.  I am going to go and plug my laptop in.  See what I can find out about this spider.  See if there’s an antidote.  You are going to check every inch of Xander’s body until you find a spider bite.  We need to be sure. Check everywhere


Spike swallowed hard and looked down at the sleeping human.  Check Xander’s body, everywhere. Sooo very good.  Spider bites? Sooo very bad.


Bad, bad, bad, bad, bad…




Part Four



Spike popped a cigarette into his mouth and braced himself.


Ok, stay cool.  You can do this.  Check him.  Check him everywhere You can do that, no problem. You’re a vicious blood sucking…..sucking…..sucking…ahem blood sucking vampire.  You fear nothing.  So just take off Xander’s clothes and find the spider bite.  You can dress him again afterwards.  It’ll be like it never happened.


“Have you done it yet?” Willow called out, impatiently, from the other room


“I’m just doing him now………..it I mean, I’m doing it now.”


Spike shook his head, looked back down at his sleeping friend and sighed.  One side of his befuzzled brain was hoping that he would find the bite on an easily accessible piece of skin like the neck or wrist.  The quicker he found the bite, the better.  At least then they could be sure what was causing Xander’s illness. The thought that they could lose him at any moment was terrifying and Spike could not imagine life without his chatter box friend.


The other side of Spike’s brain, the side that was right now giving him dirty thoughts and an uncomfortably large bulge in his jeans, was desperately hoping that he would be forced to completely de-clothe Xander and have a damn good rummage for the bite.  After all, the spider could have gotten anywhere. Spiders like dark places, don’t they?


Another thought hit Spike like a pie in the face and he staggered back. What if the spider was still there, nestling somewhere beneath Xander’s baggy clothes.  What if it was laying in wait for him, readying to pounce, waiting for the kill?  What if it jumped on him?  What if it looked at him?  What if…?.....What if….? What if there was more than one? What if Xander had hundreds of spiders in his pants? What if they all attacked him? 


Oh god it’s the legs, the legs, long spindly legs. If they didn’t have legs then there wouldn’t be a problem…….


Xander groaned and shifted slightly on the bed. “Ssspike?”


Spike whipped his head around and shot back over to the bed, all thoughts of hundreds of spiders with long spindly legs, temporarily forgotten.


“Xan, you alright, pet?”


Xander immediately drifted back into a deep sleep and Spike got no answer.  He stroked his fingers through Xander’s hair and had a quick think.


How likely was it that there were hundreds of spiders in Xander’s pants? Not very likely. How likely was it that if he and Willow didn’t help Xander soon, he was going to die, again, possibly even for good? Very likely.


Xander turned his head in his sleep and nuzzled it against Spike’s open palm.  His lips parted slightly and a small moan ghosted from his mouth.


Spike’s jeans took the strain. “Blinking’ ‘eck”


Ok, you need to start thinking clearly, here.  There is a young man, your friend, moaning…..no, no…lying on that bed and he desperately needs your loving touch……..…no, no, your help he desperately needs your help 


Spike mentally kicked his own ass.  You can do this, you know you can.  Just take a deep unneeded breath, take off his clothes, and fuck him……..check him, I bloody meant, check him!




Spike finished his fourth cigarette and stood suddenly. “Right. Clothes off. Quick, but thorough check.  Clothes on.”


He had already checked all visible parts of Xander’s body and it was time to do the rest.  Time was a wasting.


The shirt was first to go and Spike marvelled as he fumbled with the stiff buttons, at how Xander had managed not to get a single drop of vomit on himself yet had covered both Spike’s duster and docs in smelly carrot chunks. Selfish, just bloody selfish. Brat.


Spike pulled Xander into a boneless sitting position and tipped him forward. With gentleness and care that he didn’t even realised that he possessed, he slipped the shirt from Xander’s shoulders.


“Sweet, holy mother of……”


Spikes eyes widened and blackened with surprise and lust.  He trailed his fingers lightly over soft tanned skin, half looking for the bite and half just exploring and enjoying Xander’s tight muscled body.  Jesus, the boy was hot. No, not boy, most definitely all man. 


Spike had expected Xander’s body to be on the side of yummy, but fuck me backwards and twice on a Tuesday, Xander was gorgeous.  What a wonderful benefit of construction work.  Spike wondered if Xander also worked out, perhaps he would ask him when this was all over.  Course, that would sound like a chat up line.  Did he want it to sound like a chat up line?


Spike laid his friend back on the bed and made a mental list while he unfastened Xander’s pants.


Xander was good company.


Xander had a great sense of humour.


Xander was attractive.


Xander had a fantastic body.


Xander was Xander.  The one and only.


Yes, he did want to chat him up.  He wanted to take him for a drink.  He wanted to take him to the movies.  He wanted to cuddle with him in front of the TV. He wanted him.  But hey! Let’s not jump too far ahead, maybe Xander didn’t want to do these things with him.  Maybe he never would.


Spike eased Xander’s pants down his legs and broke out in a sweat. “Bloody, buggering, sodding hell, got bloody nice legs too.”


Spike was in serious trouble, the bulge in his jeans was way past the point of painful, his heart was near to beating again and his stomach was doing dramatic flippety flops.  If nothing else, he was in deep lust.  He leant in close and ran shaking hands over thick, taut thighs.


“Wish you weren’t so beautiful, luv.  Making this bloody ‘ard, you are.  Never gonna find this bloody bite at this rate.  Couldn’t of had ‘orrible flaky skin, could yer?”


Spike sighed and quickly removed Xander’s boxer-shorts.  This bit needed to be done as quickly as possible, otherwise he would end up just staring and drooling, desperately trying to resist the urge for just one brief touch.  He discarded the boxers on the floor and turned back to begin the inspection.


Spike’s eyes bulged in their sockets. “Bloody hell! You could take somebody’s eye out with that thing!””


He could hardly believe what he was seeing. It was……he had….and it was so………good lord!  Spike tried desperately not to look at the huge throbbing erection as he scanned Xander’s hips for any sign of the bite.  Not looking.  Not looking.  Not looking. When he was sure there was no bite to be seen he gently turned Xander onto his front.


There it was.  Swollen, sore and planted right in the middle of a firm buttock was the spider bite.  Instinctively Spike caressed it, trying to heal with just the touch of his hand and the thoughts in his head. 


Spike pulled himself together, there might not be much time left and they had wasted too much already.  Xander was too precious to lose and Spike was going to do everything he could to ensure that he could have a healthy babbling, bouncing Xander once again. He turned Xander on his side and pulled a blanket over his naked body.  Spike kissed him gently on his forehead and whispered quietly into his ear.


“Beautiful Xander.  Gonna make you better, pet.  I promise.  Ain’t gonna let you go”


He kissed Xander again and reluctantly left the room.


Xander’s eyes fluttered open and he smiled. Spike.



Part Five



“Watcha got, Red. What we dealing with, here?”


Willow looked up from her laptop with large fearful eyes “Um, you’re not gonna like it.”


Spike held up a brave hand “S’ok, Red, hit me with it.  How bad can it be? A few poxy spiders? The big bad can deal.”


Spike wasn’t quite so confident on the inside.  A few ‘poxy’ spiders were threatening to send the big bad into a state of blind panic.  But no, he wasn’t going to panic, he couldn’t afford to, not with Xander’s life on the line.


“They’re not ordinary spiders.  The book that we looked at said that they were rare, the only sightings of them confirmed in California and Cleveland.  But that book didn’t know the half of it.”


Spike looked nervous, his eyes were wide as dinner plates and his foot was tapping unconsciously at the wooden floor.


“Go on…..I can take it.”


“They’re Hellmouth spiders.”


Willow paused there, whether it was for dramatic effect or to let Spike digest the information before she hit him with the really bad news, she wasn’t sure.


Spike didn’t speak, but his one legged tap dance increased in pace.  If the news got any worse then he was going to end up doing a full Irish jig.


“Their poison is deadly, Spike. If we don’t cure him, the baby spider’s bite will kill Xander for good in less than three hours.”


Spike swallowed an imaginary cactus and tried to meet Willow’s worried gaze. “How? How do we cure him?”


“You’re not going to like it.”


“I already don’t like it.”


“Well, ok, then you’re not going to like this more.  There is an anti-venom.  If Xander drinks it, then he’ll be cured.”


“That’s great! Where do we get this anti-venom?”


Willow opened and closed her mouth like a goldfish, not quite knowing how to break the earth shattering news to the vampire.


“C’mon, Red. We ain’t got much time.”


“The mother spider carries the anti-venom in her blood……”


Mother spider.  We have to find the mother? Blinkin’ flip!”


Spike began to pace furiously.  He ran shaking fingers through his hair and tried desperately to reason with himself.


“S’ok, I’m the big bad.  I can handle a mother spider.  No problem.  She can’t be that big.  What? Three, four inches? I’ll just close my eyes and grab it.”


Spike stopped pacing and shuddered. “He has to drink her blood?”


“Yeah, and it has to be fresh.  He’ll only have a few minutes to drink it once she’s dead and if he doesn’t……..”


“We have to find another one.” Spike finished


“No. If he doesn’t drink it in time then we’re fucked”


Spike cocked an eyebrow at Willows bad language.  He was almost tempted to scold her.


Willow continued. “There is only one Mother Brocclicai living on any one Hellmouth at any one time.”


“One? While I am comforted by that, how the hell are we going to find just one spider in that bloody great wood?”


“Oh don’t worry.  She’ll be near the nest.”


“The bush?”


“U-huh.  And……she should be pretty easy to spot.”


Spike whipped his head around. “How’s that?”


“She’s, um…..quite large.”

Spike desperately patted down his body looking for the pack of cigarettes that he knew he had left on Xander’s nightstand.


“How large?” He asked, trying to sound casual.


“About three……”




Willow shook her head.




Willow shook her head




Willow nodded.


Spike fainted.




Xander heard a bump from the other room and he hurriedly slipped his pants and shirt back on.  Wearily, he padded into the other room and spotted Spike lying stiff as a board, on the floor.


“Spike?! Are you o.k?”


Xander collapsed to his knees next the blond.




Spike sat bolt upright and brushed himself off with frantic hands.


“Get ‘em off, Get ‘em off!”


Willow squatted behind her friend and supported him.  Xander looked like he was going to become unconscious himself any second.


“Spike, there’s nothing on you.”


Spike came to his senses and tried to look casual.


“Err, yeah, I knew that…….Xander! What are you doing up? You should be in bed.”


“Wanted to see if you were alright. Don’t worry about me, I’m ok.” Xander slurred, his eyes already drifting shut and his body sagging back into Willows surprisingly strong hold.


“You’re bloody not ok. C’mon, we’re going to bed……I mean, you are going to bed.” Damn it, not this again.


Willow stopped Spike before he could haul Xander to his feet.


“No! Spike, he has to come with us.  The blood has to be fresh, remember?”


“Shit.  How’s that gonna work, eh? He can’t even sit straight, never mind trample through a bloody wood!”


“There’s a spell I can do. It’ll give him some strength, just for an hour or so.”


“Do it.”


Spike was scared as hell.  A three yard Spider from the Hellmouth? He’d rather scoop out his own eyeballs with a spoon.  But he had to face it.  He had to face his fear, or the one he loved was going to die.


Love? Yeah, probably.



Part Six





“Is it working?”


“Sssh. Give him a minute.”


“Mrpf tiddle, mrph”


“What did he just say?”


Willow just shrugged and continued to watch her magic do its work.


“Flpp, mrph”


Spike watched with concern as a sleepy Xander tried his best to regain consciousness.  They had been just about to leave the apartment and go spider hunting when Xander had taken a turn for the worse.  He’d died, again.  After half an hour of Willow sobbing and Spike pacing, smoking, swearing and hoping, Xander had finally come around.  Spike had then given Xander a good telling off. Who did the brat think he was, dying all willy nilly?! It was too much for a vampire to take!


Xander had only managed to stay conscious for about five minutes after that.  He was getting weaker by the second.  At that point, Willow had decided that it would be best to cast her spell there and then, rather than when they reached the woods.  She needed to see her friend up and moving about.  She couldn’t stand another second of seeing Xander so lifeless.


“Mrph flangan”


“Err….Red? Is ‘e alright? He sounds…like a crazy person”


Golden light swirled around Xander’s body as the spell continued to pull him from his poisoned slumber.


“He’s fine.  He’s just waking up.”


“Mrph potato.”


Xander shifted and flapped his hand at the golden glow.


“Go way. Flp.”


The glow dissipated and Spike surged forward, grabbing at Xander face, willing him to open his eyes.


“Xan? You with us, pet?”


Large watery eyes were slowly revealed and Xander grasped the tops of Spike’s arms and tried to pull himself up.  Spike got the idea and helped Xander into a sitting position.


“How you feelin? Dizzy? Sick? Tired?”


Xander rolled his eyes up to the ceiling while he tried to decide exactly how he felt.


Dizzy? A little.


Sick? Kinda.


Tired? Always.






“Um…I kinda feel sorta…um…ah, ahhh AASSPPOOO!”


Xander sneezed and Spike got caught in the blast.


“Thanks for that, pet.” Spike said as he ran a hand over one eye.


“Sorry, Spike. I think I have a cold.”


“You don’t bloody say.  How’d that ‘appen then, eh? You didn’t ‘ave a sodding cold half an hour ago.”


Xander and Spike turned their suspicious gazes on Willow.




“I’ll give you ‘Ooopsie’ in minute you daft bugger…”


“Spike, it’s ok, really.  I’m just a little bunged up. I’ll be fine.  Please don’t blame Willow.”


Jesus on a cold day.  How could he have a go at Willow, when Xander was giving him the ‘I’m a puppy, please don’t play football with my head’ look?  And besides, thanks to Willow, Xander was fully awake and talking.


“Right. Well. Let’s just go then.”


Spike pointed a warning finger at Willow.


“But if he’s still sneezing when this is all over, then you are springing for the cold meds.”


“You got it…Uh, Spike? Are you going out like that?”


Spike looked at Willow and Xander with a puzzled look on his face.


“Like what?”


Xander smiled cheekily and gestured to the state of Spike’s appearance.


“No docs? No duster? Spike, you’re practically naked.”


“Bollocks. ‘ang on.”


Spike rushed to the bathroom to retrieve the said clothing articles and came back with a wrinkled nose.


“Still smells,” he complained, shrugging on the duster anyway.


“Sorry. I didn’t mean to.  I couldn’t help it.  It just had to come up. I really couldn’t avoid it. Well, perhaps I could have avoided you.  But you were just in the wrong place.  And god knows I would never hurt the holy duster…What?”


Spike smiled fondly at the Xander-babble, it had seemed like an eternity since he had last heard it and although he sure that it would become annoying again in, oh I don’t know, five minutes, for now he just wanted to listen to it.


“What?” Xander repeated. “You’re mad aren’t you? I knew it. I really am sorry…and where are we going by the way?  Can I eat first? I feel the need for a boiled egg.  I think it must be the cold. I always crave stuff when I’m sick. You know, comfort food.”


Xander paused for breath and Spike got in quickly.


“Yeah, I know what you mean. C’mon, pet, we’ve not got much time. I’ll tell you what my comfort food is when we’re in the car.”




Spike wiped at his other eye.


“I’m so sorry!”


“S’alright, pet.  ‘Been covered in worse.”


“Oh. That’s good?...Where did you say we were going again?”




Part seven



“ASSSPPOOO! What’s going on?”


Spike sighed, wiped at the back of his neck and turned around in the driver’s seat.


“Just waiting for Willow.  Red said she’d forgotten something from your apartment.”


“Like what?”


“Dunno, mate.  She didn’t say.  She’d better hurry up, though, not got much time.”


“Time for what?”


“’til the spell wares off.”


“Oh. What spell?”


“Never mind, pet.”


Xander was too tired to push for an actual answer.  He didn’t really care.  To be truthful, he was having trouble recollecting anything from the past few hours.  He did have dim vision of Spike with his hand on his butt…naaahhh, that must have been a dream, some kind of beautiful dream…Oooh, had he really just thought that? Xander shook his head to try and clear the fuzziness.


“You alright back there”


“Mmmm, just tired.  What’s going on? Did I already ask that? Hmm, seems familiar…ah, ahhh…”


Xander paused, his eyes half closed and his mouth opening wide in readiness for a cataclysmic sneeze.  With lightening reflexes, Spike ducked behind the car seat and watched as a trail of phlegm and saliva travelled over his head like a cosmic starburst. When the coast was clear Spike poked his head up and looked at Xander warily.


“That it? Or is there more?”


“That’s it…for now.  Spike? Could you have a look in the glove box? I think I left some tissues in there.”


Spike obliged and pulled out a small pocket pack of tissues.  He pulled one out for himself and passed the pack to Xander.  Spike used his to wipe the windscreen.


“Someone really should invent internal windscreen wipers,” he said




“S’ok, mate.  Your windscreen.  Needed a good clean anyway. It’s coming up a treat.”


Xander fog horned into several tissues and Spike winced.  His vampire hearing was very sensitive and he hoped Xander’s nose blowing would not go on for long.  He’d rather just put up with having to dodge the projectile phlegm.


“Oh, Spike.  I really feel like total shit.”


“Yeah, you look it.”




“Didn’t mean it like that, idiot.”


“I’m cold.”


“Yeah? Well you look hot…erm, I mean you look like you have a fever.”


“No.  Cold.”


Xander shivered and Spike debated with himself. To go and cuddle him or not to go and cuddle him.  It was almost Shakespeare.


“Spike? Please don’t slap me or tease me for being a complete girl, but I just feel like I need a cuddle.”


Ok, to go and cuddle him it is, then.


Spike climbed over the front seats and sat next to Xander.  He extended his arm around the shivering man’s shoulder’s and tucked him into his body, closing the other arm around him in a protective cocoon.


“There you go, luv.  I know I’m not the warmest bloke in the world, but the car heater has blasted me a bit, so I should be a bit warmer than usual.”


“It’s ok, Spike.  You feel warm and cosy.”


In all his vampire years, no one had ever called him cosy! When Xander was feeling better, he was going to have to give him a damn good kiss…bloody, buggering, fuck…a slap, he was going to have to give him a damn good slap. What the fuck?

Spike sighed.  It was useless.  He could not deny his feelings anymore. He had to admit to himself that he was falling big time for this human and he had been falling for a long time.  But what about Xander?  Could it be possible that he felt the same way?


Mmmm, Spike feels nice. Xander sighed quietly from within Spike’s tight embrace.  He had no real clue about what the hell was going on, but he was fully aware of how good it felt to have Spike’s arms coiled around him.  Actually, it felt amazingly good.  It was an embrace that was brimming over with comfort, caring and love…No, he wasn’t thinking straight.  How could someone like Spike possibly love someone like him?


“Sorry, guys.  I had trouble finding what I needed.”


“Scoot over, Red. You’re driving.  And what exactly was it that you needed?”


Willow shuffled over to the driver’s seat, glanced at the snuggling men and hid a smirk.


“Um, just a…a…a tool, an accessory, if you will.”


“What kind of accessory?” Spike asked, suspiciously


“Let’s not go into it now, Spike.  You’ll find out soon enough. Is Xander ok?”


“Yeah. He’s cold, though.”


“And you’re…?”


Spike instinctively rubbed his hand over Xander back and Xander unconsciously gave out a little moan in response.


“What does it look like? I’m warming him up!”


Willow turned back around and started the engine.


“I bet you are,” she muttered with a cheeky grin.




“I said I bet you wish you were in a bar.”


Spiked blinked.


“I mean instead of here…with us…and the whole spider thing.”


Spike huffed.


“Can we not talk about the spider thing?  I’ll deal with it when we get there.  Just bloody drive, woman.”


Xander popped his head up.






“Is that where we’re going?”




“Did I…get bitten?”


Spike stroked his hand through Xander’s shaggy locks.


“Yeah, you did, pet.”


“Is that why I feel weird?”


“Yeah, that and Red’s clumsy mojo.”


“I quite like spiders.”


Spike quickly felt Xander’s forehead.


“Put your foot down, Red.  He’s becoming hysterical.”


“Hey! I’m not hysterical! I like spiders…as long you’re not talking about one of those great big tarantula things, cos, euuuwww.  I had a bad experience with one at a zoo once.  It attacked me! Jumped right at my face!  ‘Course it was in a cage and the glass stopped it, but still, if the glass hadn’t been there, it could have attached itself to me like one of those face-hugger things.”


Xander made a clawed hand and shoved it over his face to show exactly what he meant.


“They can jump real far you know.  It’s a good job you can’t get tarantulas that are big as cows, ‘cos think how far they could go! Whoa! I bet it would be able to jump to the top of a tree, or a house, or, or, or an apartment block…”


Spike thought quickly.  He just couldn’t listen to anymore of this spider talk. There was only one way he could think of that would stop the Xander-babble in its tracks. And it was a good way, a way that would distract the both of them.


“Wow, imagine if you could get spiders that were as big as a bus, or a house, or…”






“Shut up.”


Spike tilted Xander’s face upwards and kissed him.




Part Eight












Spike finally released Xander’s lips and shot an irritated expression at Willow.




“Um, we’re here.”


“How can we be here?  We just left.”


“No.  Ten minutes ago we left.  Now, we are here.”




Spike turned back to Xander and flashed him a wicked grin.


“Time flies, eh, pet?”


Xander stared in an almost trance at Spike’s glistening lips.




“You guys!! For goodness sake, it’s time to snap out of it.  We need to find the nest, preferably before the spell wears off.”


Willow flapped her hand at the two men.


“You’ll have plenty of time for…man on man touching later.”


“Yeah, course.  Right then. C’mon, pet.  Time to go. Need a hand?”


“Oh yeah…I mean, ahem, I could use a little help.  My legs have gone to sleep.”


Spike climbed out of the car and carefully pulled Xander with him.  Spike propped him against the car and used his body to keep Xander upright.


All Xander could think about was that kiss, that epic, mind-blowing, leg shaking, tornado causing, sock rocking, flamingo shooting, fire breathing…shit, he just had to feel those lips again.


“Ok, luv? Think you can walk to thmwph…”


Xander tangled his arms inside Spike’s duster, tugged him impossibly closer and kissed him urgently.


Willow rolled her eyes





“Hey!  C’mon, guys. Quit it.”



“Look, let’s just find the spider and get this over with.  You can grope all the way home if you like.  I’ll even turn the radio up so you can make squishy, lip smacky, moany noises.”



“Oh for the love of Selena!  If you two don’t pack that in, right now I’ll magic your bits and bobs together…for all eternity…that would be very uncomfortable…come on!”


Willow tried not to look at where Xander’s hands were roaming as she tried a different tactic.  She put on her sweetest voice.


“We can get pizza and beer on the way home.”


The two men separated and spoke at the same time.


“Did someone say pizza?”


“Did someone say beer?”


“I did.  Now, get with the program boys or they’ll be no after spider treats for anyone.”


“Yeah, alright.  Let’s do this thing.  C’mon, pet.  We’ll have you well again in a jiffy.”


Spike reached out and took Xander’s hand, leading him away from the car and into the woods.


“ASSSPPPOOOO! Where exactly are we going? Sorry to keep asking.  My memory is a bit wonky.”


“We are going back to the spider nest, the bush I pushed you into, remember?”


“Kinda. What sort of spider is it? Is it big?”


“I forget the name, luv. And err, yeah, it’s sort of, err kind of…sizable”


“It’s not a tarantula is it?  ‘Cos, I had a bad experience with one at a zoo once, it just jumped…”


Spike interrupted.


“Yeah, you said earlier.”


“I did? Hm.  My memory is a bit wonky.”


“Yeah, you said that too.”


Spike suddenly had a horrible thought.  What if Xander forgot about what had just happened?  What he forgot about their wonderful kisses?  Suddenly, the thought of a three yard spider wasn’t nearly as terrifying as the thought that Xander would forget about their kissage. 


“There it is!”


Xander pointed and Spike jumped half a mile into the air.  Spider terror? All present and correct.
















Willow held up a hand to Xander before he could continue to repeat himself.


“I think Xander means the bush.”


Spike glanced around suspiciously and brushed all the invisible, non-existent spiders from his body.


“You sure?”


“Positive.  Use your eyes, Spike.  There is the bush, and do you see a giant three yard demon spider?”


Xander stood to attention.


“Huh? What was that?”


Willow helpfully repeated herself more clearly.


“Giant three yard demon spider”


“Oh.  Thought that was what you said. Three yards, huh?”


Willow nodded.


“Demon spider, huh?”


Willow nodded.


“And why exactly are we here?”


“To get you the antidote.”


“How exactly?”


“We have to kill the spider and you have to drink her blood.”


Xander laughed loudly and promptly keeled over sideways.


Spike looked down at his unconscious friend and sighed.


“I know the feeling, mate.”




Part Nine



Xander leant back against a tree and tried to make sense of the situation.  Not an easy task when you felt like shit, your nose was bunged up and you couldn’t stop staring at a certain vampire’s tight, firm ass.


“Are you ok?” Willow asked, pity apparent in her concerned voice.


“Dandy.  You?”


“I’m fine.  I think Spike might be quite close to a freak out, though.”


Xander looked over at Spike and focused on his behaviour rather than his backside.


Spike was creeping though the undergrowth, searching for any signs of a spider.  Every so often he shrieked and jumped back as if he’d been hit with a massive electric shock.  After realising that he’d only been startled by a bush or a pile of leaves he would straighten his duster, go back to searching and start the electric shock ritual all over again.


“I guess we should help him, huh?”


“That’s my little soldier.”


Xander glared


“Erm, can I take that back and replace it with something more appropriately manly?”


“Yes please.”


“Um, ok…go, Xan, go?....Shall we just go help Spike?”






Spike whistled and sung a sweet little calling to the demon spider


“Here spider, spider, spider.  Come and get an axe in your gut.”






Spike stumbled back and clutched at his heart.


“Bleedin’ hell, pet.  Give a guy some warning!”


“Sorry.  I just wondered if you needed a hand.”


“Yeah, a hand is just what I need.”


A cheeky grin formed over both faces and Xander closed the distance between them, placing a hand onto Spike’s chest and trailing it down towards a suspicious bulge.


“And where exactly do you need it?”


“A little lower would be just fine…”


Willow stepped out, seemingly from nowhere, and slapped both men on the back of their heads.






“Pack. It. In.  Now I’m going over here to do a locator spell and you two are going to keep your eyes peeled, search the immediate area, and make sure the Brocclicai doesn’t creep up on us”


Both men agreed, but when Willow turned her back, Spike grabbed Xander by his jacket and pulled him behind a tree, steeling a deep kiss while he was at it.


“Mmmm, shouldn’t…we…be…helping?” Xander asked between kisses that made his knees turn wobbly.


Spike lifted Xander’s shirt and slid his hands inside.


“Nope….we’ll…help when Willow…has done…the locator spell…mmmm, bloody hell, pet, you have been working out.”


Xander felt a shiver pass through him as Spike skimmed an appreciative hand across his chest.


“Mm-huh. Twice a day.”


Spike released Xander’s lips and left a trail of kisses down him jaw, settling and sucking on an exposed throat.


“Very nice, pet.”


Xander gasped as an enquiring hand tweaked at an attentive nipple.


“Th-thank you. Mmmm, don’t stop that.”


“I won’t”


“Stop that.”




Spike looked up and Xander grasped his jaw and turned his head to the side.


“What the fuck is that?”


“Wot? I don’t see nothin’”


“There.  Sticking out from behind that tree. What the fuck is it?”


Spike spotted what Xander was referring to and shrugged.


“Looks like some kind of leg.  Now, where were we?”


“A leg?!!??!! What sort of leg?”


“Spider leg, of course.  Big one too…hang on…”


That night was to become known as the night that scared away all the birds. The ear-splitting shriek was heard for miles around.  Children buried themselves deeper under their covers, the religious prayed and the old took solace in an extra hot chocolate before bed.


Willow poked her head around the tree


“Guys? What’s going on?”


Spike hopped around like he was on hot coals and finally bounced behind Xander.


“What do you think is going on?! Bloody demon spider!!”


Xander backed up, pushing himself and Spike away from the arachnid appendage.


“It’s there, Willow, behind that tree.”


“It can’t be! I’ve just done the locator spell.  The mother Brocclicai is about half a mile from here.”


“I bloody can’t be.  It’s over there!”


Spike stayed firmly behind Xander and pointed frantically.


Willow squinted and walked closer.


“Where? I don’t see it”


Xander joined in with the distanced pointing game.


“Right there, by that tree. You can just see its leg poking out.”


Willow cautiously moved closer before turning back towards the cowering men with an exasperated expression.


“That’s not a spider leg.”


Spike hesitated, debating whether he should at least start pretending that he was brave.


“What is it then?”


“It’s a fallen branch.”




“It is!”


Xander braved it and crept a little closer.


“Um, upon closer inspection, I think Willow might be right.  It does look kind of…branch like.”


Spike still debated at whether or not it was time for bravery. He settled for indignation instead.


“A branch.  Soddin’ hell.  What bloody idiot put a branch in the middle of a…Oh, yeah.  Right then.”


Willow cleared her throat and spoke firmly.  It was time to pull this platoon into shape.


“Forget the branch.  Anyone…well, only two men more intent on groping than observing, could have made that mistake.  Now, we are going in this direction, the spider is coming towards us, so we should meet up with her real soon.  Get your weapons ready…”


Spike and Xander smirked


“…and please get your minds out of the gutter.  Xander, you will walk this side of me.  Spike, you will walk on that side.  There will be no touching, dirty talk or sniggering.  If you don’t behave then I will be forced to punish you...in a bad way.  Now let’s go.”


They managed to walk without a word for approximately three minutes before Spike broke the silence.


“Hmm.  Nice night for a…”





Part Ten



“My feet ache.”


“Mine too, pet.  Got back ache an’ all. Must be this bloody axe.  ‘eavy, it is.”


“Mine’s really heavy.  You’d think they would make them lighter.  It’s so stupid to make them this heavy. How are people supposed to carry them?  It would be fine if we were all built like the hulk…I wonder what it would be like to be the hulk?....Kind of green, I suppose…and hulky.  My feet ache.”


“Aww, pet.  I’ll rub ‘em better when we get back.”






Xander smiled.  It was a happy contented smile.


“Bet the hulk never got foot rubs.”


Spike shuddered.


“Not surprising really. Who’d wanna touch his cheesy old feet?”


“I’ll rub your back later.  If it’s still achy…and you know, if you want me too.”


Spike suddenly became a little shy.


“Yeah, I want…if you want to, that is.”


“Course I want to, but only if you do.”


“Course I do…as long as you’re ok with it.”


“Oh, I’m ok with it, really ok with it…Are you ok with it?”


“Yeah, course I am...As long as you’re…”


“Oh Goddess! I think we have established that you both want to touch each other.  Geez!”


Silence descended.  But not for long


“Give a great all over massage, I do.  Give you a demonstration if you’d like…If you want to…”


“Give me strength,” Willow muttered as she gave up and let the new lovers whitter on.


They walked for about another five minutes before Willow heard a noise coming from one of the bushes




Willow flapped at the two men to quiet down and stay put while she crept forward to investigate a strange rustling noise.  Xander and Spike gladly obeyed and stayed way back.  They clung to each other like two naked Eskimos and watched as Willow peered around a particularly large tree.


“A-anything?” Spike asked


“Something.  Something is here.  I can hear it.  Get ready guys…I think…AHHHHHH!!”


Willow fainted.  Spike ran in a little circle.  Xander wished he’d never gotten out of bed.


“What is it?! Is it the spider? Spike, stop that!”


Spike stopped running and stared into the thick undergrowth.


“Can’t see anything.  Stay there, luv.”


Spike rushed forward and grabbed the fallen witch, quickly lifting and pulling her away from the large tree.


“Oi, Red. Wake up, ducks.  C’mon, babe, could do without you being out for the count.”


Willow sat bolt upright and screamed again.




Spike and Xander flinched and looked at each other with fear and confusion.


“Willow? It me, Xander.  Are you ok? What did you see? Was it the spider?”


Willow stood quickly and brushed herself down.


“Erm. No.  No Spider.  Shall we keep going?”


“Hang on just a bloody minute.  We wanna know what you saw?”


“I-I-I can’t…say it…it’s too…horrible.”


Xander had a feeling that he knew what his friend had seen. He held the tops of her arms and stared deeply and sympathetically into her eyes.


“Wills? Was it a Kermit?”


Willow swallowed hard and nodded.


“Y-yes and I just want to forget about it.  I can’t think about it now.  Can we just go?”


“Sure thing, Wills.”


Willow cautiously went on ahead and Spike approached Xander with a look of confused bewilderment on his face.


“A Kermit?”


“Frog.  Willow is terrified of them.  She can’t even say Frog.”


“Blimey. And here I was, thinking I was the only fruit and nut case.”


Xander grinned


“She’s the nut.  You’re the fruit.”


“Watch it, pet.  You’re not too old to go over my knee, you know.”


“That’s good to hear.  But I think we’d better save the spanking for later.  Willow’s freaked.  We should go make sure she’s ok.”


Spike agreed and they had to jog to catch up with Willow.  The witch suddenly stopped and Spike and Xander applied their emergency brakes before they ploughed straight into her.


“Wot? Is there sommit here?  It’s not another bloody fro…”


Xander elbowed Spike in the ribs before he could say the forbidden word.


“Ow! Err…It’s not another Kermit is it?” Spike said as he rolled his eyes.


“No!  But…Do you guys get the feeling that we’re being watched?”


“No, I didn’t.  I bloody do now. Thanks very much!”


Xander looked up and pointed.


“I think it might be up there somewhere? I’m sure I can see….something.”


“Bugger me, I hope not.”


“Wills? Can you do another locator spell?” Xander asked, uneasily.


“Can do.  But you two keep an eye out.  And I mean it this time.  The spider must be close, so no touchy feely? Got it?”


“Check. No gropage.  Got it.”




“Yeah alright, alright.  I’ll keep my hands to myself…for now.”




A bush rustled in the distance and Spike quickly took up a fighting stance, swinging his axe in the air and vamping out.  The bush rustled again and a family of oversized frogs hopped happily out from under it.  Spike lowered his weapon and glanced over his shoulder at Willow.  She hadn’t noticed.  That was good.  Just let the hoppy little critters jump away and there will be no need for panic.


Xander stood on the other side of the small clearing.  It was getting difficult to hold on to his axe, his hands were sweating and he was starting to feel weak again.  He let the weapon slip down to his side and prayed that he wouldn’t have to heave it back up in the next few minutes. 


After further consideration, Xander decided it would be good to be the hulk right now.  He could definitely sacrifice a foot rub for a little strength.  He glanced over at Willow.  She was still in the middle of her locator spell.  He glanced instead at Spike and tried ignore the urge to fling himself on top of the vampire and find some delicious way to assault him. 


In front of Spike, a clan of very large frogs hopped passed and one side of Xander’s brain wondered if Willow even knew that you could get frogs that big and the other side of his brain just hoped that Willow wouldn’t notice them.  It surely couldn’t be good for a witch to freak out right in the middle of a spell. Someone could get their private bits levitated off.


The frogs hopped out of sight and both men breathed a sigh of relief.


“You alright over there, pet?”


“Uh-huh.  Just getting a bit tired. Funny how it just creeps up on you...the tiredness, I mean, not the spider.”


Spike walked over to Xander and wrapped a strong arm around him.


“Sit down for a minute, yeah? I’ll keep watch”


“Don’t wanna sit.  Want you to kiss me.”


Spike leaned in and kissed a trail up Xander’s neck.


“Not a problem. You keep watch then. Don’t want nothin’ nasty creeping up on us.”


Xander exposed his neck further and looked up towards the tree tops, trying to look out for anything that looked leggy.


“Mmm…tasty, pet.” Spike purred as he licked at an earlobe and slid his hands back inside Xander’s shirt.


“Can’t wait to see you, luv.  Naked and laid out.  Just for me.”


Xander lowered his hands and squeezed at a denim clad ass cheek.


“God, Spike. I just want you to take me and fu…”


Willow stood and interrupted.


“No time for that.  She’s here.  Xander was right.  She’s somewhere above us.”



Part Eleven



“Bleeding, sodding, buggering fuck!”


“Um, I’ll second that,” Xander said as he desperately walked around the clearing, craning his head up towards the sky.


“And I’ll see you a bleeding, sodding, buggering fuck and I’ll raise you a bollocking, fucking hell.”


If it wasn’t for all the panicking, Spike and Xander would have been shocked at Willow’s outburst.


“Where the bloody hell is she? I can’t sodding see her.  Wait, what’s that?”


Xander gripped tightly to Spike’s duster.


“What? Where?!”




Willow squinted up at the tree top.


“That’s a…that’s a…that’s part of the tree.”


“You sure?”


“I’m positive.  Look, we all need to calm down.  Has everyone got their weapons ready?”




“Xander? Xander, what about you? Are you ready?”


“Um, uh-huh.  I guess.”


Xander’s voice sounded weak and Willow turned sharply to face him.


“Xander? Are you ok?”


Spike whirled around.


“Pet? You alright?”




“Oh god, Spike.  I think the spell is wearing off.”


As Willow spoke, Xander’s legs failed him and he fell into Spike’s Arms.


“Fucking shit. Xan, baby, can you still hear me?”


Xander’s eyes slipped shut and his body became limp.  Spike lowered him to the ground and hugged him tightly.


“Oh god, Spike.  Is he ok?”


“He’s still breathing, Red, if that’s what you mean.”


Spike looked up and fixed Willow with a desperate, tear filled expression.


“We gotta be quick, Red.  I can’t lose him.  I just bloody found him for Christ sakes.”


As Willow tried to comfort the emotional vampire, she failed to notice the great big, black, three yard demon spider as it crawled down the tree behind them.


“You won’t lose him.  We won’t lose him.  C’mon, Spike.  Get that axe at the ready.  Xander really needs you to be strong now.  You have to be brave.  You have to face your fear.”


Spike nodded and buried his face in Xander’s hair.


“Yeah, I can do this.  For you, Xan.  Only for you.”


Xander managed to pry his eyes open and smile.


“Spike,” he said, weakly. “I believe in you, Spike.  You can do this. Just look inside your…spider…”


“Yeah, pet…eh?”


Xander’s eyes widened and he started to shake.


“S-sp-sp-spider! B-behind you.”


Spike and Willow Slowly turned around.  The spider had crawled all the way down the tree and was standing still as a statue on the ground.  Its big beady eyes were fixed on them with an expression of evil and malevolence.  Eight furry legs stood tall in an upturned v, the peaks of them towering a good yard above its giant bulbous black and red body.  Razor sharp fangs hung from its jaws like two scimitars, gleaming under the moonlight and holding a promise of painful death.  And the worst part?  It was breathing. Harsh, deep pants of air gusting loudly from its deadly jaws.


Spike vomited.


Xander didn’t quite manage to duck out the way as Spike’s spilled his guts.  He weakly shuffled back, only stopping when a tree blocked his way.


“Spike! I can’t move…I can’t fight…help me.”


“Shit and fuck. Red, do sommit! Mojo the bloody thing!”


“She’s impervious, Spike”


“Well that’s very nice to know.  I’m very happy for it.  Now get with the sodding mojo!”


Willow huffed.  As much as she loved her boys, she’d had quite enough of the both of them for one night.


“I can’t.  My magic won’t touch her.  She’s resistant to it.”




“Just because.”


“But why?”


“I don’t know!  Why don’t you call her over and ask!”


If the situation hadn’t been quite so dire, Spike would have been tempted to sulk.  Xander groaned from the ground and struggled to keep sitting up.




Time for bravery?


“Hang on, pet…Is it staring? Why is it just staring? Oi! Stop bloody staring!!”


Not quite.


“Willow? I know you said three yards.  In fact, you said it several times.  But I don’t think I fully understood quite how big three yards was.”


“Neither did I.”


“Right then.  It ain’t moving, so I suggest that we go on the attack.  Get the upper hand.  Go for the kill.  Charge it.  Get right in there.  Get In the thick of it.  On the offensive.”


Willow nodded nervously and swung her sword up ready.


“Ok. Ok. Ok. Ok. Ok. Ok. Ok. Ok. Ok. Ok.”




“Sorry.  How do we do this?”


“Err…Easy!  We run straight at it.  Surprise it with a frontal attack.”


“Erm, Spike? I hate to burst your bubble, but I don’t think she's expecting us to attack from behind.”


“Right.  Good point.  What do you suggest, then?”


“Um. Um. Um. Um. Um. Um. Um. Um. Um. Um.”




“Sorry! I can’t think of anything.  You think.  You’re the violent one!”


“Me?! What about you?  I saw you lose your temper with that packet of biscuits yesterday.  Bloody scary it was.”


Willow was affronted.


“Those biscuits weren’t playing fair!  I tried to open them nicely for a good twenty minutes.  I had to get rough!”




“Hang on, pet…”


“You said that last time.  Look, I’d help if I could, but I can’t even stand up.”


Xander was getting quite upset now.  He felt like crap, he was covered in vamp vomit and his ass was getting cold. 


Spike heard Xander’s distress and he realised that it was time to act.  His newfound lover was getting weaker by the second.  He had to do something now.  He had to kill the spider and feed its blood to Xander before it was too late.


Spike raised his axe.


“Right then. Right then. Right then. Right then. Right then. Right then. Right then. Right then. Right then…”



Part Twelve



“After three, Willow.”




“Three, two…”


“Hang on, hang on.  Shouldn’t it be, one, two three.  Not three, two, one.”


Spike paused to genuinely think about it.  After a moment he shook his head.


“Does it bloody matter?”




“Bloody hell, woman. Alright then. After three.  One, two…”


“Wait! Are going on the three?”


“Eh? No.  We are going to count to three and then go on the count of fifty.  ‘Course we’re bloody going on the three!”


“I meant, is it one, two, three, go, or one, two, then go on the count of three?”


“Erm…err…I don’t bloody know! You start us off, then.”


“Ok, Ok, Ok. Ready…steady…”


“For fucks sake, Willow.  This ain’t a soddin’ race!”


Xander stumbled to his feet and tried in vain to lift his axe.


“If you two aren’t going to kill that thing any time soon, then I’m going to have to…Eeep.”


Xander got the axe a few feet off the ground before he fell back onto his ass.


Spike rushed over and squatted next to him.


 “Luv, no.  Stay back and stay still.”


“I can’t.  What if the spider comes over here?  What if she attacks me?”


“She won’t get anywhere near you, pet.  I’ll see to it.”


Spike dragged Xander behind a tree and left him with kiss.  He walked back Willow and fixed her with firm fearless look.


“Let’s do this.  Can’t let her get near Xan.”


Willow nodded.  Resolve face stapled, taped, tacked and glued firmly on.


“To the death!...of her, that is.”


Spike rolled his eyes.


“Right then.  You run round to the left and distract her.  When she turns around I’m gonna jump on her back and hack her fucking brains out.”


“Got it. Distract. Jump. Hack brains out.”


Spike turned towards the spider and took a deep breath.




Willow didn’t hesitate.  It was now or never, they both knew that.  She ran to the left of the spider and screamed like a wild banshee.


“Ahhhhhhh!!! Over here! Over here! Come and get it you, you, you…oversized…hairy…lump of...creepy spider!”


The spider ignored her and stared at Spike.  Willow continued to shout.


“Hey! I said I’m over here!  C’mon! What are you? Chicken?!”


Willow flapped her elbows and made sounds like a crazy chicken.


“Bock, bock, bockerrrr.  C’mon, chicken features! Bockerrrr, bockerrrr, bock, bock.”


The spider seemed to frown and it turned its weighty body towards the bouncing witch.


This was it.  This was his chance.  Spike risked one brief look over his shoulder to make sure that Xander was still out of sight, then he charged.  His lungs and chest filled up and he expelled a scream of fury that would make even the most confident demon quake in its boots.  When he was close enough, Spike launched himself off the ground and landed squarely on the spider’s back. 


The Brocclicai stopped in its tracks, confused by the sudden weight on its back. 


Willow, being a bright girl, ran away.  She needed to keep the spider on its eight toes.  It was best that the Brocclicai didn’t know where she was, and therefore where the next attack was coming from.  She headed around to the right side of the spider.


Spike, meanwhile, was getting well and truly stuck in.  There was to be no playing.  No toying.  No smart remarks or puns.  He was going to finish this and finish this fast.  He raised the axe and smashed it down as hard as he could.  He lifted the weapon again and did the same. The spider bucked and thrashed, but Spike managed to stay firmly on top.  He hammered repeatedly at the bulbous body, each blow becoming more brutal and more furious with every strike.  The creature’s blood began to flow as the axe finally broke through the surface of the hairy, leathery skin. 


The creature shrieked in pain, braced its legs and shook like a dog fresh out of water.  Spike tried to keep his balance, but after only a couple of seconds, the spider shook him free. 


Spike landed on the floor with a hefty thump and it took him a moment to register that he had just been thrown and was now lying on the floor, vulnerable and exposed.  He shook his head to clear the murky fog from his dazed brain and looked up to see a mammoth pair of fangs soaring down towards his chest.  He possibly would have screamed, but he really didn’t have time.  He closed his eyes, waited for the searing pain that he knew was coming, and prayed that he would live long enough to help Xander.



Part Thirteen



Xander watched in horror as Spike flew from the top of the spider and crashed heavily to the ground.  He saw the creature pivot around and he screamed Spike’s name as the spider closed in on his vampire and raised its fangs ready for attack.  Xander tried to move.  He willed his arms and legs to lift him from the ground and save Spike from the agony that was coming.  Or death? Was Spike going to survive this? Xander screamed out Spike’s name again and his cry morphed into a defeated sob of frustration as his limbs refused to obey the desperate signals from his brain.  Xander did the only thing he could.  He closed his eyes and blocked the world out.  He couldn’t bear to watch his lover die so painfully.




Willow ran a full circle around the demon spider.  Her panicking had reached an interesting level and her chicken impression had turned decidedly headless.  She heard Xander scream Spike’s name and her skin shivered with goose bumps at the blood curdling sound.  She looked desperately around and spotted Spike lying on his back on the ground.  The spider raised its fangs and plunged them towards the vampire’s chest.




Time seamed to slow down and Willow felt herself build with anger and power.  Her hair blackened, as did her eyes, her lips and her fingernails.  She raised her axe and charged, screaming a cry of war and intended death.  Time continued to tick past at an ultra slow pace and Willow’s feet left the ground as her magic lifted her inside an orange swirl of ancient power.  When she was close enough she swung the axe and sliced it through one of the spider’s legs.




The air was filled with a deafening roar and Spike instinctively opened his eyes.  The Brocclicai was screaming.  It twisted in pain and its fangs missed Spike by a fraction of an inch.  Spike shuffled back and tried to get to his feet, but the creature turned sharply back towards him.  The Brocclicai’s fangs descended again and Spike was unable to get away.  As the fangs soared closer, the creature screamed and twisted again.  Spike tried to duck backwards as the Brocclicai was distracted but the tip of one fang scraped painfully across his chest.


Spike desperately tried to shuffle away towards his axe that lay just a few feet away.


The enraged spider roared and tried to attack again.  As it crawled towards Spike it screamed and twisted again. 


Spike was beginning to sense a pattern.  He stayed still this time and watched with confusion as the spider roared, screamed and twisted yet again. And again.  And again.  This happened a total of eight times and by the eighth occurrence the creature was a limbless blob rocking and screeching on the ground.


Spike stood and watched Willow float into his sight.


“Oi! Red! Thought you said this bloody thing couldn’t be affected by magic?” He shouted


Willow smiled with blackened lips.


“It can’t.  But I can.”


Spike nodded, suitably impressed by Willow’s demonic leg hacking.


“Spike.  Get Xander over here.  It’s time.”


“But it ain’t dead!”


“It will be.”


Willows voice was cracked and heavy, and Spike truly believed that the creature only had seconds to live.  Best get out the way then.


Spike ran to Xander and pulled the groggy boy into his arms.


“Xan? Luv? You still with me, pet?”


“Mrph, hmm. S-Spike?”


“Yeah, s’me.”


Xander’s eyes widened as much as they could considering he was nearly unconscious.


“You’re not dead?”


“No. Well…technically yes, was already dead.  But I’m not a pile of dust, if that’s what you mean?”


“Saw…you.  Was…scared…thought…”


“Shhh, pet.  I’m fine, see? Big bad here, remember?”


“Mmmm…Hey, you’re bleeding.”


“S’nothing.  Just a scratch.”


A lie.  It wasn’t anything to worry about admittedly, but he was going to need some blood to help him heal.




“Red’s fine.  She’s just…err…finishing up.”


Both men cocked their heads and listened to the sound of a witch finishing up




Willow’s voice turned back to its normal sweet tone and she called out to her friends.


“I’m all done now!”


Spike turned around to look at Willow and he didn’t know whether he should laugh or run away.


Willow was smiling and was covered head to toe in thick black spider’s blood.  She looked like a little girl that had fallen into a vat of…erm…well, blood, obviously


“C’mon! Quick guys.  Xander has to drink. Quickly!”


“Right. C’mon, you. Got some tasty spider’s blood to get down you.”


“No…Euuww…don’t wanna!”


The next few moments went something like this…


Spike reasoned.  Xander refused.  Spike lifted.  Xander squirmed.  Spike tightened his grip.  Xander whined.  Spike insisted.  Xander bit him.  Spike cursed. Xander apologised.  Spike accepted.  Xander complained. Spike begged. Xander argued. Spike dragged him.


“Right then.  Drink up, pet and we can all go home.”


Xander wrinkled his nose.


“Xander, please! You have to. It will only take a second.  Just a couple of mouthfuls and it’s done, then you and Spike can go make kissy noises.”


Xander looked at Spike, his expression as pitiful as a baby seal.


“C’mon, pet. Please.”


That was it.  That was the last time that Spike was prepared to ask.  If Xander refused again, Spike was prepared to take drastic action.  He was going to pin Xander to the ground and force the damn blood down his throat.  He was not going to waste more time.  Not after they had been through so much and not now that they had found each other.  Spike was very much looking forward getting to know Xander in a different way.  He was looking forward to going out as a couple.  He was looking forward to snuggling on the couch, and he was looking forward to touching, feeling and learning every inch of Xander’s body.


The bloody brat was going to drink that buggering blood, even if he had to pull teeth to do it.  Spike readied himself.


“Ok,” Xander said.


“Right! That’s it! You will bloody drink…hang on…repeat that.”


“I said Ok.  I don’t wanna die, and besides, how bad can it taste?”


Willow pulled a face and shuddered.


“Euuww.  Pretty bad, I would think.  Ick.”


“Willow!” Spike hissed




Xander sighed and swayed in Spike’s arms.


“It’s ok…just…can we…flmph”


Xander sagged and Spike gently lowered him to the ground.


“Lets do this then…err…how do we do this?”


Willow held up a confident finger


“Ahh!” She cried, pulling an object triumphantly out of her blood covered pocket.


“What’s that?”


“It’s a straw.”


“A straw?  You often keep straws in your pocket?”


“No.  It’s what I went back to Xander’s apartment for earlier, while you two were snuggling in the car.”


“Good thinking, Batwoman.”


Spike half dragged a nearly asleep Xander closer the spider and snatched the straw from Willow.  With satisfaction he plunged the straw into the spiders bloody carcass.


“There you are, pet.  Suck on that.”


Xander giggled.


“Thought…you’d never ask.”


Willow snorted.


Spike huffed.


“It’s like hanging out with a couple of kids, sometimes.”


The kids giggled.


“Oi! C’mon.  Get serious.  Xander.  Drink.  Now.”


Xander complied and leant forward.  He screwed his eyes shut tight, took the straw in his mouth and sucked.


Spike and Willow stood either side with icky faces, supporting Xander as he drank.  They looked at each other and exchanged ‘rather him than me’ looks.


Willow rubbed at Xander’s back and tried to ease him back.


“That’s it, Xander.  That should be enough. Xander, you can stop now…you can stop now…hello? Xanderrrr? Have you gone deaf or just a little crazy?”


Willow looked at Spike with a bemused expression.


“Bloody hell.  Xander, stop!”


Spike reached out and yanked Xander back.




“What you bloody doin’?”


“It tasted good.”




Willow stood and walked away.


“Pet? What did it taste like?”


Xander licked his lips and thought about it.


“Ummmm, it’s kinda fruity.  A bit like blackberry.”


Spike hesitated for no more than a second before he dived on the straw.


“Blackberry!  Gotta get me some of this!”


He sucked up three wonderful mouthfuls before he realised that he’d forgotten something.


“Luv? How do you feel?”



Part Fourteen



Xander woke with a yawn and tried to work out where he was.  He opened his eyes and squinted around the room, his room, his apartment.  His eyes finally settled on a pale body sitting under the covers with him.




“Eh, you’re awake! Feeling good, luv?”


Xander paused and thought about it.  He did feel good.  He felt better than good.  He felt fantastic.  His limbs weren’t achy anymore.  He didn’t feel tired and most of all, he didn’t feel like he was about to die.


“I feel really great, Spike.  But what about you?  You got hurt.”


“Don’t worry about me, pet.  I’m just fine.”


“But the spider, it got you.”


Xander indicated the long, angry, red wound that stretched across Spike’s bare chest.


“S’nothing. Paper cut.”


“But what about the poison…?”


“Shhh, pet.  Red says only the babies are poisonous.”


“Are you sure?”


“When Is Willow ever wrong?”


“Well, there was that time at the toy store with the stuffed pig and that time with the rubber glove and that horse.  Then there was the time when we were all at that fair and that bloke with the big nose said that…”


“Ok, ok, I get your point.  But she’s not wrong about this.”


Xander sat up and sighed out his relief.


“I thought…God, Spike, I thought that I was gonna lose you.”


“Thought the same thing about you, pet.  But I guess we still got each other, yeah?”




Xander smiled and his lips suddenly looked like they needed kissing.


Spike leaned forward and brushed his hand down Xander’s cheek.  Holding gently to his jaw, Spike slowly and gently pressed his lips to Xander’s and kissed him.


Xander moaned quietly into the kiss and it encouraged Spike to deepen it.


Words just weren’t going to do it.  Spike had to show Xander exactly how he felt and he wanted to do it with one phenomenal kiss.  His tongue entwined with Xander’s and it communicated everything that he felt. Passion, love, relief and so many others emotions that it made him dizzy.


Spike tried to pull away.  He didn’t want to push Xander into anything that he wasn’t ready for.  Spike was well aware that they were both naked and he didn’t want to ruin things by being his normal pushy self.


Xander kept a tight hold of his vampire, pulling him closer when he felt resistance.  He muttered into Spike’s mouth as he continued the kiss.


“Don’t want you to go.”


“Don’t wanna go.  Ain’t going.”


Xander slipped his hand beneath the sheets and found Spike’s hardening length.  He curled his fingers around the shaft and slowly stroked him to full hardness.


Spike jumped slightly in surprise at Xander’s confident stroking.


“Fuck, Xan. Mmm.”


Spike took Xander’s mouth in a crushing kiss and he slipped his hand under the covers and grasped Xander’s leaking cock.


“Mmm, Spike.”


“Mmm, Xan”


“Ow! Elbow!  Oh Spike”






“Xan, Ow! Mind your knee”


“Sorry. Mmmm, Spike”




“Mmm, Spike, faster…Ow! Elbow!”


“God…want…Mmm, Xan…Mmmm, knee!”


“Spike…gods, Spike…Yesss…squashing me!”


“Sorry….Mmmm, Oh Jesus! Sooo good. Ah! Other knee…right in my….oh! Mmmm”


“Sorry! Faster, Spike! Please! Eeep! Balls…caught.”


“Fuck, sorry! Mmmm, Yesss, baby, yesss!


“Fuck, Spike…Ow! Mmmm, gods…gonna…Elbow! Elbow! Spike!...I’m gonna…”


“Yesss, fuck…yes…gonna…too…Ah! Me bollocks!.…fuck, yesss!”








Xander lay panting in Spike’s arms.


“That was…


“Yeah, it was.”


“Mmm, afterglow good.”


“Yup, real good”






“Why were we naked?”


Spike smirked.


“Red was all worried about us both. You know, cos you did all that dying earlier and me with my horrific chest wound.  So she insisted that we both go to bed.  I undressed us, though.  Thought we’d be more comfortable.”


Xander pushed himself up, suddenly alarmed.


“But I thought you said you were ok.  You are ok? You didn’t lie to make me feel better, did you? Oh gods, Spike, we really shouldn’t have done what we just did if you weren’t feeling up to it…Oh god! Did I force you?!”


“Don’t be a twat! Course you didn’t force me! Bloody wanted it!  I told you, I’m fine.  However, I may have told Red that I was hurt a little more than I actually was.”


“Um, why?”


“Wanted tea and sympathy.  Red’s a bloody good cook, too.  She’s in the kitchen now, making us those boiled eggs you were going on about earlier.”


Xander hastily pulled up the covers to his neck


“Willow’s still here?! Spike! You could have told me.  We were so…so…so…loud!”


“I’m sorry, pet”


“No, you’re not.”


Xander sulked.


“Yeah, alright, you got me, I’m not sorry at all.  It was bloody good. Nothing to be sorry about.  Besides, Red’s a woman of the world.  I’m sure she’s heard worse.  Probably didn’t even bat an eyelid.”


Xander let a smile play at his lips


“It was good.  And you’re right, Willow’s cool. I’m sure she was fine with it…Wanna go again?”


“Did you need to ask?”


Xander all but jumped on Spike and events repeated themselves. 




Willow stood at the kitchen counter with a finger in each ear.


“La, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la.”


Now this was scary.



The End

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