As Xander gradually returned to consciousness, the drone of soft, indistinct murmurs echoed in his ears, and slowly resolved into Willow and Giles’ voices. His head ached, but he held back his groan, not wanting them to know he was awake yet, though not completely certain why that was. Xander slitted his eyes and surveyed what he could see of his surroundings. He was lying on the hard floor inside the weapons cage. His head pounded when he tried to remember why he would be there, and then everything came rushing back to him. Spike, everyone finding out about the biting, and...oh, God, Buffy! She was going to stake Spike!

It became paramount that he find out where Buffy and Angel were. Tilting his head a little, he saw that no one occupied the lower level of the library with him. That meant Willow and Giles were either in the office, or up in the stacks—probably in the office. There was no sign of Buffy or Angel, and if Angel was here, he’d already know Xander was awake. That meant they’d already left to go after Spike. He had to get out of here and warn Spike! He only hoped it wasn’t too late.

Xander climbed slowly and silently to his knees, his body still not wanting to obey his commands, and pulled on the door. It wouldn’t budge. They’d locked him in! His heart rate accelerated and he became frantic. He hoisted himself to his feet and shook the door hard in an attempt to force it open, but all that did was draw Willow and Giles’ attention, and they came running out of the office.

"Xander, stop that this instant, before you hurt yourself," Giles commanded.

"Let me out of here," Xander growled, shaking the door once more.

"I can’t do that," Giles replied sadly, but firmly.

"Will..."

Willow turned her face away from him, but her eyes darted back. "It’s for your own good, Xander," she whispered.

"They’re going to kill him!" he yelled. "How can that be for my own good? I need him! I need him! You can’t let them kill him! God damn it! Let me out of here!"

"I am sorry that you’re hurting right now, Xander. I promise you it will fade with time," Giles spoke reassuringly.

"No," he whimpered. "Please, please don’t let them..."

Willow’s face crumpled. Giles noticed and put his hand on her shoulder.

"Maybe you should go home," he suggested. "I know this isn’t easy for you."

Easy for her? Xander thought wildly. What about him? He was the one stuck in a cage while they went off to stake his lover! Besides, Willow couldn’t leave, she was obviously the weak link here. Xander stuck his hand through the cage, imploring Willow with his eyes. She looked like she would relent, but then her shoulders straightened as she stiffened her resolve.

Crap! Xander thought, and then inspiration struck. He gasped in pain, and doubled over. "Oh, God," he whimpered. "My stomach." He fell to the floor and rolled himself into a ball, rocking and moaning.

"Oh, Giles," Willow said, full of compassion. "Do you think he’s already started going through withdrawal?" she asked worriedly.

"I suppose it is possible," Giles replied dubiously, "though highly unlikely if he was just bitten this afternoon. It could be psychological..."

"Can we at least give him some aspirin for the pain, or something?" she asked.

"Yes, I guess we could," Giles said. "I’ll go get it. Don’t go near the cage," he warned, and then turned to leave.

Interfering old busy body! Xander raged. Okay, so that didn’t get him out. What else? Come on, think! Rolling away from Willow, Xander stuck his finger down his throat and gagged, but refused to stop until he had thrown up.

"Oh, God, Giles, he’s throwing up!" Willow cried. "He’s really sick. We have to help him!"

And just as he’d hoped, Willow’s compassionate side took over, and she moved to the cage and unlocked the door. Xander jumped to his feet and pulled the door open, causing Willow to lose her balance. He dragged her into the cage.

"Sorry, Will," he said, "but I have to save Spike. I love you." He quickly locked her in the cage and raced out of the library, wiping his hand and mouth off on the cleaning rag he’d grabbed off the floor of the weapon’s cage, and then dropping it as he ran. Behind him he could hear Willow yelling for Giles.

Xander briefly hesitated when he reached the sidewalk. How was he going to get to the mansion? It would take him twenty minutes to cycle out, but Spike might not have twenty minutes. He didn’t know how long he’d been out, and how much of a head start Buffy and Angel had on him. What was he going to do?

He noticed a car idling at the curb, probably a parent there to pick their child up from practice. The fog of uncertainly lifted, and Xander’s purpose became clear. He needed to get to Spike, no matter what. He strode over to the car, pulling his ripped shirt closed, and knocked on the window. The man inside the car lowered the window a couple inches.

"Yes?" he asked.

"Are you Bob’s dad?" Xander asked, his voice dripping with concern and the need for haste. "Someone saw me leaving and told me to find Bob’s dad, he’s been hurt, or something."

"You mean Billy?" the father asked worriedly.

Xander hid his surprise. "Uh, yeah! That was it, Billy..."

He stepped back as the man hurriedly turned the car off and pushed the door open. As he proceeded to rush past him, Xander grabbed the keys out of the distraught father’s hand and gave him a shove, then climbed into the car and locked the doors. He struggled to stick the key into the ignition with shaking hand, and only then remembered that he didn’t know how to drive. Oh, well, he shrugged, trying to ignore the man pounding on the window, he’d seen other people drive, that would have to be enough.

Xander started the car, shifted into ‘drive’, and then stepped on the gas, peeling away from the curb in a cloud of smoke and the smell of burning rubber. By the time he got to the mansion, missing the turn to the driveway and having to get out and hoof it back rather than attempting reverse, Xander had run three stop signs, barely missing a pedestrian at one of them, and possibly given himself whiplash jerking to a stop at the other two due to on-coming traffic.

Once the car had lurched to a stop, Xander jumped out without bothering to put it into ‘park’, and as he ran up the driveway, the car slowly began to roll down the road. Xander didn’t pay it any mind, all his attention focused on the mansion and the sounds of combat he could hear clearly from the road. His heart jumped into his throat, but instead of becoming more clumsy, he put on a burst of speed and raced towards the mansion.

The front door was open and, as he got closer, Xander could see the fighting taking place inside. Racing up the porch and through the doorway, Xander found himself in the thick of the battle. Adrenaline was rushing through his body, and he roughly pushed one vamp aside as he urgently scoured the room for Spike. Angel was fighting a group of four vamps, Drusilla stood halfway up the stairs, swaying to some music only she could hear, and—Xander’s breath caught—Buffy was fighting Spike!

Xander sped through the chaos, intent on keeping Buffy from staking Spike, or Spike from killing Buffy. Before he could reach them, Buffy gained a slight advantage, and her stake arm moved in for the fatal blow.

"No! Buf-fy!" Xander screamed, trying to make himself heard over the raging battle.

Buffy’s stab went wide, striking Spike’s shoulder instead of his heart, and she glanced over at Xander in annoyance. "What are you doing here, Xander?" she yelled as she pulled the stake out and prepared once more to drive it home.

Spike took advantage of her momentary distraction and shoved her away from him. Xander rushed up to Spike, unaware that Angel had fought free of the vamps he was battling and saw Spike toss Buffy aside. Just before he reached Spike, Angel threw the stake he was holding towards the blond vampire. Xander reached Spike and pulled the vampire to him just moments before the stake arrived.

"Spike...!" he cried, happy to have gotten to the blond before he was dust, but the cry was cut off by a gasp of pain as the stake embedded itself in his back. "Ow," he said, his eyes glazing over in pain and confusion.

"Pup, what in Hell are you doing here?" Spike asked, his arms going around Xander, his hand finding the stake in his back.

"N-needed to w-warn you," Xander said. "Th-they know..." His legs gave out, and only Spike’s arms kept him upright.

Spike looked over Xander’s shoulder at the continued fighting. Suddenly it didn’t matter. Nothing mattered except the boy in his arms.

"Knock it the Hell off!" he yelled. "Everyone get out!" He turned his attention back to Xander. "Xan, don’t you bloody die on me, pup..."

"Sorry, Spike," Xander said, his fingers scrabbling for purchase in the vampire’s duster even as his eyelids fell shut.

"Oh, God, Xander," Buffy said, horrified. "What... How..."

"I saw Spike going for you," Angel explained. "I never saw Xander..."

"He needs a hospital," Spike said. No one moved. "He’s not dead, yet!" he yelled. "Get him to a bloody hospital!" He lifted Xander and held him out to Buffy.

"I’ll carry him," Angel said, taking Xander into his arms and speeding towards the front door.

Buffy turned to follow him, then looked back at Spike. "This isn’t over," she threatened, and then ran out after Angel and Xander. Outside he heard the additional voices of the redhead and the Slayer’s Watcher raised in concern when they saw Xander’s injured body, and then everything was silent.

It better not be, Spike thought as he dropped to his knees and stared at the blood on his hands. It bloody well better not be over. It wasn’t supposed to happen like this. The boy was his, was going to be his forever after he claimed him, and now he was hurt, badly. He shouldn’t have played his stupid game, making Xander come to him and beg. He should have taken the boy. Taken him and claimed him, and then gotten the Hell out of Sunnydale.

"Spike?" Dru softly called his name.

"Dru?" He reached for her.

Drusilla knelt beside him and pulled him into her arms, rocking and crooning, "It’ll be all right, my Spike. It’ll be all right."

Spike was concealed in the shadows outside the hospital when Angel and the rest of Xander’s friends left. He watched as the humans climbed into the Watcher’s car and drove away, and then waited for Angel to find him. It didn’t take long.

"What are you doing here?" the dark vampire asked.

"How is he?" Spike asked, ignoring Angel’s question.

Angel sighed. Odd, Spike thought, since he didn’t breathe. "He’s alive."

"But?"

"His chances aren’t good. He lost a lot of blood, and the stake...the stake punctured a lung and severed blood vessels close to the heart...I didn’t catch much of the lingo..."

"What are his chances?" Spike asked.

Angel hesitated.

"What are his chances, Angelus?" he repeated.

"Thirty percent," Angel replied.

Spike’s stomach heaved, his chest constricted. "You’ve seen people die," he said. "Hell, you’ve killed them. Will he make it through the night?"

Angel didn’t answer right away, but Spike didn’t rush him this time.

"No," he finally said.

Spike pressed his lips together and glanced away to hide his reaction from Angelus. He didn’t want that wanker seeing his pain.

"Get out of town, Spike. Take Dru and leave. Tonight. If you stay, Buffy won’t rest until you’re dust," Angel warned.

Spike pursed his lips, and then nodded. He turned and walked away, heading towards the mansion. When he was out of sight of Angelus, and out of sensing range, he slipped into the park where he had hidden his car. He waited for a couple minutes to make sure that Angelus had left, and then drove out of the park and down the road, parking on the street in front of the hospital.

Spike entered the hospital with a purposeful stride and followed the signs to the ICU, where he presumed a dying Xander was being held. He silently slipped into the critical care area and read the names on the wall. When he was confronted with a nurse who had just stepped out of one of the rooms, he quickly covered her mouth and pushed her back inside. He didn’t have time to drain her, so he snapped her neck and dropped her body to the floor on the other side of the occupied bed, careful to make no sound.

When he found Xander, he was shocked by the boy’s appearance—pale and fragile. He entered the room on silent feet, with the stealth and grace of a panther. The machines beeping around Xander were too loud to his sensitive ears, and the boy’s heartbeat much too sluggish. He leaned over the bed and looked at Xander’s wan face as he reached for the brunette’s cool and clammy hand.

Xander’s eyelids fluttered, and then slowly drifted open. The corners of his lips turned up in a parody of his usual goofy grin. "Spi—," he said.

"Shh, don’t talk, pup," Spike said, placing his finger gently against dry lips.

Xander, as usual, didn’t listen to him. "Sor—," he began.

Spike silenced him again. "Not your fault, pup," he said.

"Buf—follo—," he said, continuing to try and speak despite Spike’s admonition not to.

Spike couldn’t take it any longer. He kissed Xander to shut him up, and because he was already missing the taste of him.

"Love you," he whispered against paper-thin lips.

He watched them twitch. "Know—," Xander said. He tried to lift his hand to Spike’s face. Spike saw him struggling and took the hand, pressing Xander’s palm against his cheek. "Leave—," he said.

Spike swallowed hard. "You want me to leave, pup?" he asked.

Xander rolled his head in a negative gesture. "No—" he said. "Me—" He struggled to speak. "Don—wan—die—here," he finally got out.

"You-you’re not gonna die, pup," Spike lied.

Xander’s expression softened. "U-used—lie—be-better," he said, his eyes searching Spike’s face.

"You wanna leave this place?" Spike asked, his decision made.

Xander nodded hopefully. Spike placed Xander’s hand on the bed, and walked over to the window. With a few well-placed punches, he knocked it out of the frame to land softly on the grass below. He returned to Xander’s side, pulled the monitoring pads off his chest and the I.V. out of his arm, then wrapped the blankets around him and picked him up. He moved back to the window with his too-light burden, and looked down at Xander’s face.

"Wanna fly?" he asked with a grin.

Xander nodded and attempted to grin in return.

Spike tightened his hold on the boy, jumped up onto the window sill, and then leaped out. He landed lightly on his feet and carried the boy around the hospital to his car. Spike drove to the mansion to pack up his meager belongings and tell Dru they were all leaving. He carried Xander to the bedroom they had used, wanting to turn him before they left, and to do it in a spot that was familiar to them both.

Xander looked around the room and smiled. "Die...here," he said.

"Yeah, pup," Spike said, laying down beside him. "Love you," he said, kissing Xander one last time, and then morphing. Xander shivered, and offered acceptance in his facial expression in lieu of difficult words.

Spike tilted Xander’s head and lowered his face to the boy’s neck. He licked the old bite marks, marks that hadn’t been revisited since Xander started coming to him at the mansion, and then sank his fangs into them and sucked. Xander’s blood filled his mouth, and the normally sweet ambrosia tasted bitter.

Spike drank until Xander’s heartbeat was nearly silent, then slit his wrist and offered it to Xander. The boy looked at him as if he hadn’t expected this, as if he thought Spike was merely easing his way to death’s door.

"Need you, pup," Spike said, and Xander began to drink.

6 months later

Xander’s return to Sunnydale was as uneventful as his departure, but it didn’t go unheralded. He parked the car he had stolen for the drive—a little bit of irony in that, he thought—and got out. He looked around him, his eyes narrowed. It wouldn’t be long until they knew he was back. Xander strode around the car, across the sidewalk, and over the small strip of grass—his expression resolute, his long, black coat billowing behind him, and nimbly jumped the fence surrounding Sunnydale’s most popular cemetery.

He walked among the gravestones, finally finding a tomb upon which to sit and wait for Angel and Buffy’s arrival. It wasn’t a long wait, but when Angel arrived he was alone.

"Xander? What are you doing here?" Angel asked.

Xander turned his head to watch Angel’s approach. "Where’s Buffy?" he asked.

"She’s not here," Angel replied. "Just me, I’m afraid."

Xander nodded. "Thought you and the Slayer would be out...slaying," he said. "But that’s all right, you’ll do."

"Where’s Spike?" Angel asked, looking around as if he thought he might spot the other vampire.

"Still in Albuquerque, I presume," Xander said. "He’s got a nice following there, set himself up as Master. Partly in thanks to yours truly," he added facetiously.

"Are you here for a visit?" Angel asked warily, obviously becoming suspicious at Xander’s strange mood.

"Not exactly," Xander said, heaving a deep sigh as he looked around. "I came to see you. Granddad." He locked eyes with Angel. "I figured I could thank you for everything you’ve done for me, and end it, where it all began," he said with overdone dramatic flair.

"End what?" Angel asked, confused.

"My miserable existence," Xander replied, hopping off the tomb. He spread his arms, exposing his chest. "Time for you to keep that promise you made Xander."

"Xander..."

"Don’t call me that!" Xander snapped, dropping his arms.

"Aren’t you Xander?" Angel asked.

"You know I’m not," Xander replied. "We all know I’m not. I’ve got his memories, but I’m just the demon that inhabits his body." He waited a beat. "Look," he said, "if you don’t have a stake on you, I’ve got one you can borrow." He pulled a stake out of his jacket pocket and tossed it to Angel. "In fact," he said, "I made it special for this occasion. Even carved your name on it. You can keep it when we’re done. Kinda like a memento," he offered sarcastically.

"I’m not really looking forward to Spike’s reaction when he finds out I killed his only childe," Angel drawled as he studied the stake.

"Trust me, that won’t be an issue," Xander said.

Angel raised his eyebrows. "Not the impression I got six months ago," he responded.

Xander’s eyes narrowed dangerously. "Impressions can be deceiving. Spike doesn’t want me around," he growled, "because he wants the boy you killed."

Angel’s expression turned to one of grief, and then he shook it away. "I’m sorry about that, Xander..."

Xander waved his concern away. "Not Xander, remember? At least, not that Xander. Not the right Xander." After a moment of uncomfortable silence, he asked, "Look, can we just get on with this?"

"Why do you think Spike doesn’t want you?" Angel asked. "You’re his childe, and the sire-childe bond is very strong..."

"Yeah, I know all about it. In theory, anyway. I read about it...well, Xander read about it. Haven’t seen it in practice so much," he added, biting his lip to keep from crying.

Damn him! This wasn’t supposed to be so difficult. All the bastard had to do was shove the damned stake through his chest! He gestured towards the stake Angel held. "You out of practice, or something? I mean, I could always visit the Slayer. Xander didn’t want her to have to do it, but I don’t care if she has to stake her best friend’s body and watch it disintegrate to..."

"That won’t be necessary," Angel said, his face tightening at the mention of Buffy’s name.

"Good," Xander said. "Trouble in paradise?" he couldn’t help asking.

"Buffy and I aren’t..."

"Seeing each other?"

"...friends, anymore," Angel finished.

"Wow," Xander said, raising his eyebrows. "What could have happened to break the two of you up?" he asked rhetorically, and then had a thought. "Don’t tell me she blamed you for this?" He pointed at himself.

"Not exactly," Angel replied.

"Then what?" Xander asked with morbid curiosity.

Angel sighed. "Buffy didn’t take it too well when I took Dru in."

Xander grinned. "Drusilla is living with you?"

"Well, technically, I’m living with her," Angel said. "The apartment would have been too small for Dru and her tea parties, so I moved into the mansion to take care of her."

"Well," Xander said with a little laugh, "isn’t that special?"

"Can we get back to you now?" Angel asked, obviously uncomfortable with this line of questioning.

"Absolutely!" Xander said, standing up straight and holding his arms back out to his sides. "Try and hit the heart on the first attempt, ‘kay?"

"You still haven’t convinced me that Spike won’t come seeking revenge," Angel said.

Xander slumped, and sighed dramatically. "Oh, for Hell’s sake! What? You want the whole tawdry story? Well, here it is, so listen close, ‘cause I won’t be repeating it. I’m not Xander. Not the Xander he wants. You know, the warm, living, breathing version, not the undead demon version."

Angel started to interrupt, but Xander held his hand up to forestall him.

"I had all Xander’s memories, but none of his...goodness," Xander said. "I knew how much Xander’s death hurt Spike, because I could remember it, even though it wasn’t me who was really there. So I tried to be like him. I acted goofy and happy and wore bright shirts and baggy pants. I looked like a freak!" He looked down at himself dressed in black, and then over at Angel. "Hell, I’m still a freak," he muttered.

"Anyway," he continued, "that didn’t work. I gave it some thought, and realized that Spike had been corrupting Xander’s goodness, so I figured, maybe he didn’t want goody-Xander, but the Xander he was turning into. I fought harder and killed more than any minion in the clan, helping Spike consolidate his position as the Master of Albuquerque, but that didn’t work either."

"Xander..."

"Do you smell him on me?" Xander yelled.

Angel studied him, and then sniffed the air. "No," he said, his brow furrowing in confusion.

"Don’t you think you should?" Xander asked. "You want to know how I know he won’t miss me? Because he hasn’t touched me since the night he turned me. Not for sex, not even a pat on the back, and most especially not to share sire’s blood." Xander angrily wiped a tear away. "Now. If you don’t mind, I’m on kind of a tight schedule here," he said. "I’d like to get this done before midnight."

"Why?" Angel asked.

"Because today is Xander’s birthday. Fitting, don’t you think?"

"Xander...," Angel tried again.

"Look," Xander said, holding his hand up. "I’ll make it easy for you." He flicked his wrist and a stake shot towards Angel, slicing his arm as the dark vampire lunged out of its path. "Kill me, or I’ll kill you," Xander said, plucking another stake out of his pocket and attacking.

Angel defended himself from Xander’s assault, but Xander could tell that he wasn’t putting all his effort into the fight.

"Kill me!" he yelled. "You promised! Hell, can’t you even do this right?" he taunted. "Damned vampires with souls," he muttered derisively, and redoubled his efforts. He flicked his wrist and sent a second stake hurtling through the air, and then reached into his boot and drew a knife that he threw at the other vampire, forcing Angel to go on the offensive. "There ya go!" Xander shouted encouragement.

Finally Angel had Xander pinned to a tree, his stake hovering over the younger vampire’s chest. "Do it!" Xander hissed.

"No! Angelus, don’t!" Spike yelled as he raced across the cemetery towards them.

"Kill me!" Xander yelled, attempting to free himself from Angel’s hold so he could impale himself on the stake.

"Xander, please...," Spike began.

"Don’t call me that!" Xander ground out, turning flashing eyes on Spike.

"Why not?" Spike asked.

"Because that’s not who you see when you look at me," Xander replied. "You see the demon that replaced your precious human boy." He turned to Angel. "Finish it!"

"No!" Spike countermanded.

Xander turned on him. "Why not?" he asked angrily. "Then you won’t have to look at me and wish I was him, and I won’t have to see the disappointment in your eyes...every..." He swallowed hard. "...single time—when it’s not."

"That’s...Xander that’s not..."

Xander turned his face away, ignoring Spike’s entreaty. Spike angrily shoved Angel away from him, and Xander took the opportunity to leap towards the stake Angel still held. Spike growled and batted the stake away, and then slammed Xander back into the tree.

"I don’t hate you," Spike snarled. "I hate...I hate that I do want you, even though you’re not... It feels like I’m betraying him," he explained haltingly.

Xander snorted. "I don’t believe you," he said.

Spike backhanded him. "Don’t disrespect me, Childe," he said.

Xander licked the blood off his split lip, and grinned bitterly. "That word is meaningless for us," he said. "I’m nothing more than a meal you decided to pick up one night, then turned into a minion and discarded."

Spike slammed him into the tree again. "He wasn’t just a meal!"

Xander looked at him knowingly. "And he’s not me. Why don’t you just let Angel finish what you’ve always wanted to do, but didn’t have the guts for?" he asked.

Spike looked at him incredulously. "You think I wanted to dust you?" he asked.

"You couldn’t even bring yourself to look at me half the time, much less touch me. You didn’t even want to...bite me," Xander responded angrily to cover the hurt he felt. "What was I supposed to think?"

Spike pushed Xander into the tree with his body, grabbed his face with both hands, and forced his head to the side. He pressed his mouth against Xander’s ear and hissed, "You thought wrong, Xander."

The blond vampire lowered his lips to Xander’s neck. He licked and sucked at the old bite mark that hadn’t been touched by him since the night he’d turned the boy, and Xander shivered at the contact. He morphed, and rubbed his ridges over the bite. Xander groaned. Spike lifted his head and looked into Xander’s brown eyes-turned-amber.

"Never should’ve waited," he whispered, and then lowered his mouth to Xander’s neck. "My Childe," he stated, just before sinking his fangs into his childe’s flesh and drinking. As he drew on Xander’s blood, the boy whimpered. He sucked until Xander was too weak to stand without his help, and then pulled back and offered his own neck. Xander morphed and stared at him hungrily, but didn’t make a move towards him.

"Drink from me, Childe," Spike said. "Taste my blood. Take me into yourself as I have taken you into me..."

At those words, Xander dove for Spike’s neck with a strangled, "Sire!" Spike moaned, and ground his groin into Xander’s as his childe drank from him.

When he felt that Xander had taken enough, he commanded, "Enough." Xander pulled back and looked at him, eyes glassy, high off the taste of sire’s blood. Spike couldn’t resist leaning in and licking a drop of blood off Xander’s lip, and then kissing him. Xander groaned into his mouth and kissed Spike back as his arms went around the older vampire. Both were moaning and grunting as they thrust their hips together.

"Maybe you should finish this somewhere else," Angel suggested, breaking the mood.

"Sod off!" Spike pulled back long enough to say, and then latched his lips back on to Xander’s.

"There’s plenty of room back at the mansion for this," Angel continued. "Besides, it’ll really be a mood-killer if Buffy comes along and finds you. She’s still a little pissed about you stealing Xander from the hospital."

Spike reluctantly pulled back. "We’ll head back to Albuquerque," he told Xander. "Find a nice spot along the way to finish this," he added in a promising tone. Xander just nodded compliantly.

"No way!" Angel said. "There is no way I’m letting you leave Sunnydale without seeing Dru!"

"Dru’s still here?" Spike asked mockingly. "Thought she’d have left town when she couldn’t find her ‘Daddy’."

Xander snickered. "Angel’s living in the mansion with Dru," he informed Spike.

"‘S that right?" Spike asked, amused, and turned to look at Angel. "You taking good care of Dru, Angelus?" he asked mockingly. "Or should I ask if Dru’s taking good care of you?"

"Shut up, Spike," Angel said, "and let’s go." He turned to begin the walk back to the mansion.

"I’ll drive," Spike said.

"Oh, God," Angel groaned, and then gave in ungraciously. "Fine."

The three vampires walked out of the cemetery and over to Spike’s car, which was parked haphazardly in the road. Spike opened the driver’s side door and Xander slid in. Spike got in after him, and Angel climbed in the passenger side so that the three of them were squeezed into the front seat.

"What about Xander’s car?" Angel asked.

"Xander doesn’t have a car," Spike replied absently.

Angel waited a beat. "Then how did he get here?" he asked.

Xander glanced at Spike guiltily. "I stole a car," he replied.

Spike grinned. "Good boy! What about the owner?"

Xander paused again. "I was hungry," he admitted.

"Oh, shit," Angel swore. "I hope you at least dropped the body wherever you killed him and weren’t stupid enough to stick him in the trunk and bring him to Sunnydale."

Xander looked guiltier. "It’s not like I planned on staying long," he softly reminded Angel.

"Did you at least remember to clean out his wallet?" Spike asked.

"Spike!" Angel groaned, and then grabbed for purchase as Spike pulled away.

A couple minutes later, Xander whispered to Spike, "I’m hungry."

"I thought you ate?" Spike asked, and then took in the hopeful look on Xander’s face. "In the back," he said. "Angel, reach back there and grab Xander something to eat."

Angel twisted around and looked into the backseat. "Where?" he asked, taking in the debris filling the back seat.

"Paper bag on the seat," Spike replied.

"Just tell me it’s not body parts," Angel muttered as he stretched to reach the bag. He turned back around and set the bag on his lap, then opened it and peered in. "You have got to be kidding me!" he said.

"What?" Xander asked as he reached into the bag and pulled out a Twinkie™. "Good stuff," he said, waving the sponge cake at Angel, and then opening the package and taking a big bite. "Mmm, thanks, Spike," he said with his mouth full.

"Welcome, pup," Spike said, placing his hand on Xander’s knee and rubbing it. "Don’t talk with your mouth full," he added automatically.

"Don’t call me ‘pup’," Xander retorted.

What a fool he’d been all these months, Spike thought. He had turned Xander so he wouldn’t lose him, and had nearly lost him anyway, due to his own stupidity. What had he been thinking? Making Xander strong enough to be a childe, and then not claiming him had been beyond lunacy. He had seen how hard Xander was trying to be what he thought Spike wanted. How could the boy have known he already was exactly what Spike had always wanted, a childe of his own?

He couldn’t have, and Spike hadn’t told him, showed him, because he feared that it would be a betrayal of the relationship he was forming with the human boy whom he had intended to claim as his own. Well, that ended tonight. This Xander was his, in every way, and he would make sure the boy knew it. Spike tuned back into the conversation to hear Xander telling Angel, "They’re good, you should try one," as he opened another Twinkie™ and shoved it into his mouth.

When Spike parked the car in the driveway outside the mansion, Xander was licking the cream off his lips. Spike grabbed his head and pulled him close, then licked the remaining cream off for him. "Mmm, you’re right," he said. "That was good." Xander just stared back at him with a dazed expression. Spike laughed happily and got out of the car. "Come on, pup. Let’s go see Dru."

Spike and Xander followed Angel into the mansion, where Drusilla was waiting for them.

"Spike!" she cried, and flew into his arms. Spike swung her around and she giggled. When he put her down, she turned to Xander. "Hello, puppy," she said, placing a formal kiss on his cheek. "The stars told me you were coming. I told you everything would work out for the best." Dru stepped back and clapped her hands. "Your room is ready," she said. "And I’ve got tea..."

"We’d love to, Dru," Spike interrupted, "but I’ve got a boy needs more instruction on the sire-childe relationship." He smirked as Xander’s eyes widened. "Maybe we can do tea tomorrow, yeah?"

"All right, Spike. Daddy and I will have tea," she said agreeably, and Angel groaned.

"Come on, pup," Spike said as he turned away and headed towards the staircase.

Xander looked like he was going to argue Spike’s use of the nickname, then changed his mind and raced after him.

The next evening, before they began the long drive back to Albuquerque, Xander convinced Spike to stroll through Sunnydale with him so he could take one last look at the town his human counterpart had been born and grown up in. Spike argued that it was dangerous because of the chances of running into the Slayer, who was not pleased that Spike had stolen Xander from her.

"Don’t worry about Buffy," Angel said.

Spike looked at him suspiciously. "Pup told me..."

"Spi-i-i-ke," Xander whined in protest of the nickname. Spike just smirked at him before continuing.

"...that you and the Slayer weren’t friends anymore."

"We’re not," Angel admitted. "But we’ve got a ...truce."

"A truce?" Spike sneered.


Angel ignored the gibe.

"What kind of truce?" Spike asked, unable to resist the temptation to bait Angel.

"We don’t kill humans, and she leaves us alone," Angel said. "And if a murderer or rapist happens to be found dead with puncture wounds in his neck, she lets it slide."

"Big of her," Spike drawled sarcastically. "So, how do you live?"

"Animal blood," Drusilla hissed.

"I know why Soulboy does it," Xander said to Dru, grinning at Angel’s look of irritation, "but why do you?"

Drusilla looked coyly at Angel from beneath her lashes. "Daddy says I must," she purred.

"Ahh, like that, is it?" Spike teased with a suggestive lift of his eyebrow.

"Shut up, Spike," Angel replied.

"Can we go, too, Daddy?" Drusilla asked, slipping her arm through Angel’s.

"Go where, princess?" Angel asked.

"For a walk with Spike and his puppy," she replied dreamily.

"Would you people stop calling me a puppy!" Xander said, annoyed.

"Let’s go," Spike said, grabbing Xander’s arm and dragging him towards the door. "The sooner we get this over with, the sooner we can get back home. Pup."

"Spike!"

They walked through the town, taking notice of the spots Xander remembered—the high school, The Bronze, the park, the cemeteries, Willow’s house. On their way back to the mansion, they ran into Buffy. Before they spotted her, Xander sensed her.

"What’s that?" he asked uneasily.

Spike was also scenting the air. "Slayer," he growled.

Buffy stepped onto the sidewalk a dozen yards ahead of them, and Drusilla hissed like a cat sprayed with water. "Angel," Buffy greeted the dark vampire, her tone conveying her obvious hurt, anger, and disgust that Angel had chosen Drusilla over her.

"Buffy," Angel returned the greeting evenly.

"Know anything about a body found locked in the trunk of a car?" she asked. "New Mexico license plates." When they got close enough for Buffy to recognize Spike, she stiffened. "Spike," she snarled, adjusting her grip on the stake she held in her hand. "What are you doing back in Sunnydale? I don’t suppose you know anything about the body?"

"Got my own car," he replied, not answering the question. "And I’m here because pup wanted to visit the place where he grew up one last time," he replied casually.

Buffy turned her attention to his boy, and Spike could see the wheels turning in her head. "X-Xander?" she asked hopefully.

"In the undead flesh," Xander quipped, and Buffy’s features hardened.

"He turned you," she spat.

"He saved me," Xander replied, straightening his shoulders and moving closer to Spike.

"No," Buffy denied, shaking her head.

"Yeah, after you and Soulboy here killed me." Xander turned to Angel. "No hard feelings, by the way," he said.

"Gee, thanks," Angel responded sarcastically.

"You’d have been safe if you’d just stayed in the library!" Buffy yelled.

"Yeah, that was gonna happen," Xander retorted. "You went off to kill my lover! What? You thought maybe I’d just sit there and let you?" he asked.

"We were your friends, Xander. We were doing what was best for you..."

"According to you."

"He’s a vampire. He didn’t love you," Buffy insisted. "He didn’t deserve..."

"Even if you’re right, it wouldn’t matter, because I loved him. But you’re wrong. He loved your human friend," Xander replied, making the differentiation between himself and the human boy clear. "And I know that better than anyone. You have any idea what it’s like being jealous of yourself?" he asked emotionally.

"Pup," Spike whispered.

"It’s okay," Xander said, turning to Spike, and running his hand over the older vampire’s chest soothingly. "I know you love me, too."

Spike pulled Xander to him and embraced him. "Do love you, pup," he whispered.

"I know," Xander said with a smile. "Really, I do. Love you, too...Sire," he said, and then leaned in to kiss him.

Buffy screamed, and it was filled with anger, fear, and loss. Over Xander’s shoulder, Spike saw Buffy move, and then Xander was looking at him with surprise in his eyes.

"Ow," he whimpered. "Spike?" he called out fearfully, and then dissolved to dust in Spike’s arms.

"Nooooooo!" Spike screamed as he watched Xander’s remains drift away on the night air.

Spike sat up with a jerk, coming instantly and painfully awake with the nightmare still fresh in his mind, the agony of Xander’s loss too fresh in his heart. He reached out frantically and found Xander’s back. The boy, his childe, was lying in the bed beside him on his stomach.

"Wassa matter?" Xander slurred sleepily, coming partially awake at Spike’s actions.

"Nothin’, pup," Spike said, laying back down beside Xander on his side so he could continue to look at the boy. "Go back to sleep."

"‘Kay," Xander mumbled.

Spike softly rubbed Xander’s back as he watched the boy sleep, reassuring himself that he was still there with him, still alive—undead. He ran his fingers through dark brown hair that was getting long, and he debated cutting it, or making Xander grow it longer, then pictured the boy with long hair he could use like reins, holding tight to handfuls of hair as he fucked Xander’s face. Spike grew hard.

He skimmed his hand down Xander’s back and over his ass, squeezing and kneading the tempting mounds of flesh, and then slipping between them to trail fingers along the crack and over the tantalizing pucker he knew awaited him there. Spike massaged the area around Xander’s hole, and slid the tip of his finger inside it. The boy was still slick with Spike’s juices. Spike grew harder.

Xander moaned and pushed back against his finger. "Thought I was s’posed ta go back ta sleep?" he muttered.

"Changed my mind," Spike said as he rolled onto Xander’s back, his erection pressing against the soft globes of the boy’s ass. Xander spread his legs, and Spike maneuvered his hips until his cock head was lined up at the boy’s entrance.

Spike pressed forward as Xander pushed back, and was almost immediately fully seated within the boy. He moaned, and placed kisses along Xander’s shoulders. Spike laid his hands over Xander’s and entwined their fingers.

"You know I love you, yeah, pup?" he asked as he moved his hips, slowly thrusting into Xander.

Xander curled his fingers around Spike’s, and turned his head to look back over his shoulder at the older vampire. He smiled saucily. "You went pretty far towards convincing me of that last night," he said, then wiggled his ass. "But I’m always willing to gather more evidence."

Spike pulled out of Xander, and then slammed back in. Xander grunted, and his eyes lost focus when Spike rammed his prostate. "That a fact?" Spike asked with faked nonchalance.

"S-Spike," Xander whimpered, letting his head fall back down onto the bed, pressing his forehead into the mattress as he clenched Spike’s fingers. "Please..."

"Love you, Xander," Spike said. "My Childe..."

He pistoned into and out of Xander’s ass, fucking him with wild abandon as he sought to convince himself that Xander wasn’t dust. When Xander was keening and writhing beneath him, Spike morphed and sank his fangs into the boy’s shoulder, then drank of him.

Xander screamed as he came, and then Spike roared as his childe’s ambrosial blood and clenching muscles dragged him into oblivion.

Spike sat at the table and watched Angel drink his blood out of a mug. He frowned, grimaced. "That smells disgustin'," he opined.

Angel didn’t deign to reply.

"If you think it smells bad, you should taste it," Dru muttered, stirring the blood she’d added what had to be unhealthy doses of cinnamon and nutmeg to.

Spike opened his mouth to ask why she drank it, then remembered his dream and snapped his jaw shut. Just then Xander came bounding into the kitchen.

"Hey," he said in greeting. "Spike, I was thinking, how about a walk through Sunnydale before we leave? You know, for old time’s sake."

If Spike’s heart beat, it would have stopped then.

"I don’t think that’s a good idea," Angel spoke up. "It’s too soon after your...disappearance. I don’t think Buffy would handle seeing your vampire self at this stage."

Xander looked hopefully at Spike.

"The wanker’s right, pup," he said with finality, ignoring Xander’s pout. "Besides, I want to get on the road so we can get home. Hard telling what those miserable excuses for minions are doing while we’re away."

"Want something to eat before you leave?" Angel asked.

"Sure," Xander said. "Got anything in a pretty, young blonde?"

Drusilla bounced with glee. "Those are my favorites, too!" she announced.

Angel just glared at Xander.

"Nah," Spike said. "We’ll pick up someone on the way out of town."

Angel turned the glare on him. Spike grinned unrepentantly.

"Does he make you happy, luv?" Spike asked as he hugged Drusilla goodbye. "He’s treating you right? I have to tell you, pet, I thought you were bollocksed to stay here waiting for him instead of leaving with us."

Drusilla glanced over at Angel, and then back at Spike. "Oh, yes," she whispered with a giggle.

Remembering the dream once more, Spike said, "Enough said, luv."

While Drusilla and Spike were saying goodbye, Xander stood next to Angel, his arms crossed over his chest. Spike thought the two dark vampires looked good standing there like that, then mentally slapped himself and resolved to get Xander out of there as soon as possible.

"So," Xander said, "now that I know what a sire is, I’m wondering why you didn’t tell us you were Spike’s sire? I mean, Spike mentioned it the one time, but you never explained..."

"Would you want people to know you’d sired Spike?" Angel asked.

"Hey!" Spike said as he released Drusilla. "I heard that."

Angel cracked a smile.

"Come here, puppy," Drusilla cooed. "I want to give you a proper goodbye this time." Xander rolled his eyes, but didn’t say anything about the nickname as he moved into Drusilla’s embrace. She hugged him and placed a kiss on his cheek. "I’ve got a present for you," she said, and drew Xander across the room.

Spike stood beside Angel and watched Drusilla and Xander, wondering why all the vampires in his life had dark hair.

"You’ll bring Drusilla to visit, now that we’re settled in?" he asked without looking at Angel, though he could feel the other vampire’s dark eyes appraising him.

"That might be arranged," Angel replied.

Spike nodded. "Next November, maybe," he suggested. "I know it’s a while, and you can bring her sooner, if she wants, but mark your calendar for November."

"What’s in November?" Angel asked.

"We’ll have a birthday of sorts to celebrate," Spike said, his eyes never leaving Xander. "And I’m thinking of taking a consort on the anniversary date," he added quietly. He saw Angel start out of the corner of his eye.

"Xander?" his sire asked.

Spike couldn’t hold back the smile. "Yeah," he said, "Xander."

Angel hesitated as he thought about that. "All right," he finally said, and Spike sagged with relief that his sire had given his implicit approval of the union. "Just let us know when and where."

"I’ll give you a call," Spike said.

"I don’t have a phone," Angel replied.

"Dru’s got a cell," Spike informed him.

"She does?"

"‘Course. How do you think she knew that Xander was coming?" Spike asked. At Angel’s embarrassed expression Spike laughed. "You didn’t really think the stars told her, did you?" he mocked. "I called her on the cell and told her to get your ass out there to make sure he didn’t do anything foolish, like take on the Slayer. Didn’t know you were gonna try an’ stake ‘im," he added resentfully.

"I wasn’t..." Angel’s brow furrowed. "I thought you didn’t know Dru was still in Sunnydale?"

Spike smirked at him.

"Ready?" Xander interrupted them.

"What’s wrong?" Spike asked when he saw the look on Xander’s face.

"I just think we really need to get going," Xander said.

"Don’t forget your pressie," Drusilla said, handing Xander a shoe box.

Xander forced a fake smile. "Thanks," he said, gingerly taking the box, and then leading the way to the front door.

"What is it?" Spike asked.

"See ya!" Xander said, giving a little wave to Angel and Drusilla before stepping out of the mansion.

"Xander?" Spike asked as he followed Xander to the car.

"Yeah?"

"What’s in the box?" he asked.

"Nothing."

"Xander..."

Xander stopped walking and resignedly held the box out. Spike took it from him and opened it, then nearly choked on his laughter.

"Yeah, you laugh," Xander snarled.

"You should be honored, pup," Spike said. "Miss Edith has always been her favorite."

"Yeah, yeah," Xander said, grabbing the box away from Spike. "Let’s get home, I’m suddenly in the mood for a tea party."

Spike groaned. Xander smirked at him.

"Or you can just fuck me again," he offered.

"Now that," Spike said, taking Xander’s hand and leading him to the car, "is an offer I can’t refuse."