Xander and Willow spent the next four nights at Giles’ apartment. After no sightings of Spike in over a week, nor attempts to contact Xander—since there was no way Xander was admitting to their secret liaison in the library—Giles agreed that it was probably safe for he and Willow to return to her parents’ house. Monday night, after research in the library, Giles dropped them off and made sure they were both safely inside the house before he drove away.
The two of them drank hot chocolate over homework, and then went to bed. Xander couldn’t sleep. He’d been carrying around a boatload of guilt for the last four days, and it continued to eat at him. He hated that he hadn’t told Giles the truth about Spike showing up at the library. Now that he knew Spike could get in at any time, it wasn’t the safe haven it had once been, and he worried how Spike might use his knowledge of the access tunnel.

Worse than that, though, was his reaction to the vampire, and the fact that he couldn’t stop thinking about him—about touching him, and being touched in return. Xander was less wigged about the fact that it was naughty-guy touching than the fact that his ‘guy’ was a vampire. A vampire Xander wanted to bite him again.

And there was the crux of the matter! He just couldn’t figure out why Spike hadn’t bitten him in the library. What game was he playing? Xander wondered, as he stood looking out the window of the guest room he was using. He used to sleep with Willow when he spent the night, but he figured they’d probably outgrown that.

A flash of movement caught his eye, and he stared intently out the window. A couple moments later he saw a flicker of light, which flared up and then died down, only to do the same thing a few moments later. Finally, Xander realized he was seeing someone smoke a cigarette. Who would be out in the dark—? A figure stepped out of the shadows, and the moonlight glinted off Spike’s blond head as he looked up at Xander’s window.

Xander’s breath caught. How did Spike know they were back? How did he know this was Xander’s room? He swayed, and felt himself leaning against the window, as if he were trying to get closer to the vampire outside. Xander took a deep breath and pushed himself away from the window, stepping back into the shadows of the room.

He continued to peek out the window and saw Spike put his cigarette out and walk away, towards the front of the house. Xander waited, but there were no noises, and no further sightings of the vampire. Needing to know what Spike was doing—whether he had left, Xander slipped a pair of sweat pants over his boxers and tiptoed down the hall and staircase. He peered out the front window in the living room, but saw nothing.

Continuing to move stealthily, Xander moved to the front door, unlocked it, and pulled it open. He looked out, and then took a hesitant step outside.

"Wondered if you were going to show up," Spike said from where he was standing at the side of the porch, leaning against the railing.

Xander jumped and clutched at his racing heart. "Don’t do that!" he hissed.

"Couldn’t sleep?" Spike asked solicitously.

Xander wasn’t sure whether answering that question would be incriminating or not, so he remained silent. Spike turned around and pressed his body against the porch, laying his arms along the railing.

"Thinking about me?" he asked enticingly, tilting his head just a little, letting his tongue peek out from between sneering lips.

"No!" Xander immediately lied, and Spike laughed at him, a sound low and deep that went straight to Xander’s groin.

"You shouldn’t lie, pup. It’s not nice," Spike said with a tantalizing move of his hips.

"What are you doing here?" Xander asked angrily, keeping his voice down so he wouldn’t wake Willow.

"The question is," Spike said, "what are you doing here?"

"I’m staying with Willow," Xander replied, confused.

"No, pup," Spike said. "What are you doing out here?" he clarified.

Xander froze. What was he doing out here? Why hadn’t he ignored Spike’s presence and gone back to bed?

"You did miss me, didn’t you, pup?" Spike asked, his voice hypnotic, seductive.

Xander shook his head ‘no’, too bewildered to make his tongue work.

"Mmm, yeah," Spike went on. "You miss my touch, like the things we do together, don’t you?" he teased. "You wanna touch me again. Come here, Xan-n-nder," he drawled, his hips moving in small motions that made it look like he was humping the side of the porch. "I know you’re hard for me, pup, I can smell it. I’m hard for you, too..."

As if in a dream, Xander walked down the porch steps and across the lawn to where Spike was still leaning into the porch. He knew it was wrong, that he should just go back into the house and forget Spike was out here, but he couldn’t. There was something calling to him, tugging at him, and he needed to go to the vampire.

He stepped up behind Spike and wrapped his arms around him. "If I had a stake," Xander whispered into Spike’s neck as his hand formed a fist over the vampire’s heart. "I could kill you right now."

Spike didn’t reply, just rubbed his ass against Xander’s groin, and Xander moaned. The vampire turned around in his arms and looked up into his eyes.

"Think so, pup?" he asked, moving his hips just enough to cause a light friction as his erection rubbed over Xander’s. "I know where there’s a stake you can have," he added suggestively.

"All my problems would be over," Xander continued, as if he hadn’t heard Spike’s comment.

"I’m not your problem, Xander," Spike said softly, leaning forward as if sharing a secret. "I’m the answer. Freedom. Release. I can make you feel so-o-o-o good," he purred, pressing his groin more firmly into Xander’s, his arms still along the porch railing while Xander’s hands moved over his chest and stomach, exploring him.

Xander tried to think. This was wrong! It was wrong because... Because... God, Spike’s lips looked so inviting! He leaned forward and pressed his lips to Spike’s, and they parted for him, allowing him entry. He kissed Spike while his hands snaked beneath the blond’s t-shirt, moaning when his fingers came into contact with the cool flesh.

He pulled back and stared into Spike’s eyes, then slowly sank to his knees. Spike smiled.

"Good pup," he whispered.

"Why do you keep calling me that?" Xander asked as he unbuckled Spike’s belt.

"Because you have such pretty brown puppy-eyes," Spike said, brushing Xander’s hair off his forehead, touching him for the first time, unable to resist the allure of those eyes.

It seemed to take forever for Xander to get him out and hold him in his warm hands, and then take him into his warm, wet mouth. Spike couldn’t hold back the moan when Xander began to suck.

"Open your eyes and look at me," Spike commanded. Xander did as he bid, and the sight of the boy looking up at him, lips wrapped around Spike’s rod as it slid in and out of his mouth, was nearly enough to make him come right then. But it wasn’t time, yet, so he forced it back.

He placed his thumb lightly over the bite on the left side of Xander’s neck, and gently rubbed it. The result was electric—Xander groaned around him and his body shuddered at the contact. Spike did it again, and again, and each time he smelled a fresh wave of arousal from the boy. Which was good, because he didn’t think he’d be able to take much more—Xander’s sucking combined with the vibration of his groans were going to set him off soon.

Before long, Spike buried his other hand in Xander’s hair and stared into the boy’s brown eyes as he came in a rush of fluid that the boy eagerly swallowed. Spike let Xander clean him off, and then pulled out of his mouth. His eyes still locked on Xander’s, he rubbed the bite once, twice more, and watched as Xander’s mouth opened in a silent scream, his body shuddering as he came without having been touched.

"Aren’t you my precious boy?" Spike whispered longingly.

While Xander recovered, he tucked himself back in and did up his jeans, then pulled the boy to his feet and propelled him towards the porch steps. "Get inside," he said, and Xander blindly followed his orders, his legs almost too weak to carry him.

Spike watched the boy enter the house and close the door behind him—it wouldn’t do to have some other vamp get a hold of him—and then turned away with a smile. Yeah, the boy was coming along nicely.

Xander stood inside the front door, shaking like a leaf. He couldn’t believe what had just happened. Another encounter with Spike—one that Xander himself had initiated! Spike hadn’t coerced him, either with threats against Willow or physical force, yet he had not only stepped outside the safety of the house and engaged in a conversation with the vampire, he’d actually been the one to commence with the naughty touching they’d indulged in!

Unbidden, he’d dropped to his knees and freed Spike so he could take the vampire into his mouth. The only time Spike had touched him, Xander recalled, was to rub the bite mark on his neck, though that simple touch had been enough to make him come. What was happening to him? he wondered. And why had Spike refrained from biting him, yet again?

Xander suddenly became uncomfortably aware of the cooling fluid on his stomach. He locked the door and moved as silently as he could up the staircase. He stopped at Willow’s room, opened the door, and peeked in. She was lying in bed, sound asleep. Xander breathed a sigh of relief, and carefully closed the door. Before returning to his room, he stopped in the bathroom to clean himself off.

Another week went by with no contact from Spike, and Xander was getting twitchy. What was the vampire up to? he wondered. Why hadn’t he shown up again? But the big question was, why did Xander care? Tuesday evening in the library, Buffy finally called him on his odd behavior.

She frowned at him. "Xander, are you all right?"

Xander looked up from where he was nervously shredding a piece of paper. "Huh? Oh, yeah, I’m all right," he said.

"Are you sure?" she prodded. "You seem kinda...edgy."

"Yeah, Buff," he said, trying to smile. "I’m sure."

"Spike hasn’t come around, has he? He hasn’t bitten you again?" she asked worriedly, glancing at the healed bite on his neck.

"No!" Xander snarled in disgust.

Buffy gave him a weird look.

Xander laughed uneasily. "Stupid vampire," he said. "Big loser," he muttered under his breath after Buffy reluctantly turned her attention back to the book she was supposed to be reading.

The next day, Xander cut out after classes were over, telling Buffy and Willow he’d be back before sundown to help them research, and leaving before they could say anything to stop him. He snuck home and got his bicycle out, and then rode around Sunnydale, looking for an abandoned mansion. On Thursday, Xander visited the public library and looked through the old issues of The Sunnydale Times on microfiche.

Unable to find what he wanted, he sighed in defeat. One of the librarians asked if she could help, and Xander told her that he’d heard about an abandoned mansion, but wasn’t having any luck locating it. His luck changed—the librarian drove past the mansion on her way to work everyday, and happily gave Xander the address and directions. He pocketed the slip of paper, and headed back to the school for research, and the grilling he’d get for leaving without telling anyone.

On Friday, Xander rode past the mansion, but since it was daylight there was no activity to tell him whether Spike was staying there. He was too afraid to cycle up the driveway to see if his car was parked in the back. Saturday morning, Buffy and Willow went to the mall. The two girls had been loathe to leave him alone, but Xander convinced them that too much togetherness was a bad thing, and reminded them that it was daylight out, so Spike wouldn’t be coming after him.

"Besides," he added morosely. "He seems to have lost interest."

"That’s great, Xander!" Willow said, smiling.

"Yeah," Xander agreed with a forced smile in return. "Swell."

After they left, Xander puttered around the house—from the kitchen, where he made something to eat, to the living room, where he tried to watch television, to the dining room, where he attempted to do homework. Nothing held his attention for long. Finally he gave up trying to not think about Spike, and sat on the front porch to ruminate on the vampire and the strange connection between them.

Eventually, he pulled the worn piece of paper out of his pocket, having carried it on his person for the last two days, and read it once more. Xander slipped the paper back into his pocket, grabbed his jacket and locked the front door, and then got his bike from where he’d hidden it behind Willow’s house. He hoped that Spike had moved into the mansion.

It took Xander twenty minutes to reach the driveway, another five to bike up it and work up the courage to approach the mansion, and another ten or so to make it to the front porch and up the rickety steps to the door, where he rang the as-luck-would-have-it functioning doorbell. It wasn’t until the door was opened by a vamp in game face that Xander realized Spike wouldn’t be alone. He swallowed hard, wondering how he was going to get past the vampire.

"I-is S-S-Spike here?" Xander asked, standing poised to bolt off the porch and into the sunlight.

Spike heard the boy’s heartbeat and smelled his fear long before he heard his voice. He smiled when Xander nervously asked for him. Rising from the chair he was sitting in, Spike stalked towards the front door.

"Let him in," he ordered.

The vamp that had answered the door snarled at Xander, but stepped back at Spike’s command. Xander looked at him anxiously, unmoving. Spike motioned with his hand, and Xander slipped into the mansion, moving quickly past the vamp. Without waiting for Xander to reach him, Spike turned and started up the staircase at a leisurely pace. Xander hurriedly followed him, getting close enough to grab hold of Spike’s t-shirt like a security blanket. Spike smiled again. The scent of fear had been joined by the unmistakable spicy aroma of Xander’s arousal.

At the top of the stairs, Spike led Xander down the hall to the same bedroom they’d used the time Spike had brought Xander to the mansion. If Xander recognized it, he didn’t say. Spike sat in a wingback chair beside the bed, and watched as Xander looked around the room, taking in his surroundings. Xander’s eyes landed on him, and then skittered away.

"Have a seat," Spike said amiably.

Xander looked at him, swallowed hard.

"Sit," Spike said again, pointing to the only other seat in the room—the bed. Xander looked at it nervously, and then moved to sit on the edge facing Spike, staring at a spot on the carpet. Spike waited for Xander to speak, and when he didn’t, said, "Why are you here, Xander?"

Xander jumped, and his heart raced. "I, uh...," he stammered.

"Perhaps you’re not ready...," Spike said as he made a move to stand.

"No!" Xander cried, standing and holding his hand out so Spike wouldn’t get out of the chair. "I, um, I...," he tried again.

Spike tilted his head. "Would it help if I told you that I know why you’re here?" he asked. Xander looked at him hopefully. "But if you want it," Spike continued softly, "you’ll have to ask for it."

Xander paled. Spike wished he could just jump up and take Xander, fuck him into the mattress and then bite him, tasting the elixir that was purely Xander. He was so bloody hard it hurt, and he hadn’t tasted the boy in almost two weeks. But he didn’t want Xander to be able to tell himself that Spike had made him do anything. He wanted Xander to remember how he begged Spike to bite him.

"I, uh..." Xander closed his eyes, and then opened them. "I want you to bite me," he whispered in a voice so low Spike could barely hear him.

"You’ll have to speak up, pet," Spike said.

"B-bi... I want you to bite me," Xander admitted, thankfully unable to bring himself to look into Spike’s eyes, so he didn’t see the grin on the vampire’s face.

"You know you’ll have to earn it," Spike said after squelching the grin.

Xander nodded, still not looking at him.

"Do you know what that means?" Spike asked.

Xander nodded again. "You want me t-to suck on you," he said, shifting nervously from foot-to-foot.

Spike waited a beat. "Wrong, pup," he said, and Xander’s head jerked up, their eyes locked. "I want to fuck you."

Xander’s eyes widened, his breath caught, and he fell over in a dead faint.

"Bloody Hell!" Spike swore as he looked at Xander’s still form lying on the floor.

When Xander woke, he was lying on a bed. He looked around, taking in the heavy drapes covering the windows, and the chair beside the bed. All at once, he remembered where he was. The mansion! A building full of vampires! And...

"Spike!" he squeaked when the blond vampire he’d just been thinking of filled the doorway as if he’d conjured him.

"Heard your heart rate change," Spike drawled, "so I knew you were awake."

Xander didn’t speak. He couldn’t make his tongue work.

"When you’ve recovered enough, you should leave," Spike said. "I really don’t think you’re ready..."

"No!" Xander was up and off the bed faster than he could remember moving. When Spike told him to leave, he suddenly recalled why he was here. The bite. He needed Spike to bite him. The vampire couldn’t send him away. "You can’t...please...don’t send me away," Xander begged.

"You’re not ready, pup," Spike said, and started to turn away.

Xander grabbed his arms. "No, please. I’ll do anything. I’m ready. I am," he insisted desperately.

"You remember what I said I wanted in return?" Spike asked.

Xander swallowed hard. Spike wanted to—he could barely even think the word—fuck him. Xander wasn’t sure if he would like that, but he had such a fierce need to be bitten, he was willing to do anything. "Will it hurt?" he asked.

Spike looked at him consideringly. "Could do," he replied. "But I’ll make it as painless as possible for you." He grinned. "You might even find yourself enjoying it," he said, adding in a seductive purr, "It can be very pleasurable, pup."

Xander shivered. He looked Spike over. The vampire looked so—sexy. He wore black jeans and a black t-shirt, no red over-shirt, and no boots. Xander moaned. "And y-you’ll bite me, right?" he asked, just to be sure.

"Oh, yeah, pup," Spike said. "I’ll bite you."

"A-all right," Xander said.

Spike just looked at him for a minute, and Xander was afraid the vampire was going to turn him down. "All right," he finally agreed. Spike took a step into the room, forcing Xander to back up, and then closed the door behind him. "Get undressed."

Xander swallowed hard, but started to get undressed, his hands shaking so badly he couldn’t get the button on his pants undone. He turned to Spike who helped him with the button and then let Xander pull the zipper down. When he was naked, Xander self-consciously covered himself with his hands and looked at Spike, who was avidly taking in every inch of his naked flesh.

When their eyes met, Spike grinned. "Now me," he said.

Xander was confused, and he was sure his expression clearly conveyed that to Spike, who just said, "Undress me."

Xander stepped towards Spike, embarrassed when he realized he’d have to move his hands and uncover his manly parts to undress Spike. The vampire grinned again. "I’ve seen ‘em before, pup, now get me undressed before I change my bloody mind."

With those encouraging words in mind, Xander made short work of Spike’s clothing, quickly removing them and tossing them onto the chair. He allowed his eyes to run over Spike’s body, stopping and staring in a combination of fear and excitement when his gaze reached the vampire’s manly parts, which were standing at attention.

"Get the lube out of my pocket, and then lay down on the bed," Spike commanded.

Xander quickly got the lube out of Spike’s jeans and laid down on the bed. Spike stood beside the bed and took a pillow from the head of it. "Lay on your stomach and put this under your hips," he said.

Xander arranged himself, and waited anxiously for Spike to take him, praying that it wouldn’t hurt too much, but desperate enough for the bite to not care all that much if it did.

Spike took a minute to savor the sight of Xander lying naked on the bed, his ass raised, knees bent, legs slightly parted. He looked delicious, and just the sight of him made Spike want to climb between his legs, spread his delectable cheeks, and drive himself into what he was certain would be the hottest, tightest hole he’d ever fucked.

Instead, he forced himself to move slow. He climbed onto the bed and bent his head to Xander’s ass, sniffing to breathe in the scent of him, and darting his tongue out to taste his skin. Xander jumped, and Spike gently rubbed his hands over the boy’s hips while he continued to lave his cheeks, and then he parted them and let his tongue run along Xander’s crack and over his pucker.

Xander squealed and jumped, and Spike was overcome with desire. He lapped at the twitching hole, and then pushed his tongue inside. Waves of arousal poured off Xander as Spike stimulated his hole, serving to fuel his lust for the boy. With a growl, he halted his ministrations and reached for the tube held tightly in Xander’s hand.

Spike quickly squeezed a dollop of lube onto his fingers, rubbed it over Xander’s saliva-slicked pucker, and then pressed one slippery finger into him. Xander groaned at the intrusion, and Spike slowly, carefully pushed the finger in all the way. He pulled it back out, and then pushed back in. Xander pushed back to meet his thrust, and Spike grew harder. He quickly prepared the boy, adding another finger and scissoring them to stretch Xander’s muscles, and then reaching for his prostate.

Xander’s reaction to the feel of Spike’s tongue on his hole was nothing compared to his reaction at having his prostate stroked. His squirming and mewling stoked the fire of Spike’s need for the boy. Spike nibbled on his back while he inserted a third finger and made sure Xander was ready to receive him. With little warning, he withdrew his fingers and wiped the balance of the lube on his hard flesh, placed the head of his cock against Xander’s slick hole, and pressed.

The boy whimpered as Spike speared him on his shaft. "Relax," Spike said, barely managing to not growl and scare the boy. He felt Xander trying to obey, grabbed the boy’s hips, and pushed the rest of the way in until his balls were resting against Xander’s ass.

Spike draped himself over Xander’s back, licking and sucking at the boy’s shoulder while he slowly moved his hips, sliding in and out of Xander’s ass, which was just as hot and tight as Spike had imagined. He tilted his hips, searching for the nub that would send Xander flying. When he found it, Spike pounded into it while Xander cried out—his begging intermixed with nonsensical words of pleasure—and writhed beneath him.

He could tell Xander was getting close. Pulling out, Spike easily turned the boy over, and spitted him on his rod once more. He wanted to see Xander’s face when he came, and came again. Spike leaned over Xander and slipped a hand beneath his neck, lifting him so he could reach his throat, and laved the bite. Xander clawed at Spike’s back as the vampire brought him closer and closer to climax.

Spike lifted his head from Xander’s neck, and morphed to the demon. Xander’s lust-glazed eyes locked on Spike’s yellow orbs, and he whimpered. He grabbed the back of the vampire’s head and pulled them together, kissing Spike hard, unmindful of the fangs that cut his tongue. When Spike pulled Xander’s tongue into his mouth and sucked on it, getting a small taste of everything that was Xander, the boy came, shooting load after load of warm fluid between them, coating their chests and stomachs.

Spike continued pumping into Xander, increasing his speed, the power of his thrusts. He pulled away from the boy’s mouth and lowered his lips to his neck. Xander moaned and tried to push at him. Spike growled and slapped his hands away.

"N-not there," Xander finally managed to get out. "They’ll see..."

"Don’t want ‘em to know?" Spike asked, amused.

"D-don’t want ‘em t-to try an’ s-stop me," Xander gasped.

Spike nearly came at the thought of how far the boy had fallen into his craving for the bite. He growled, and because he didn’t want his access to the boy denied, moved his lips lower, down Xander’s body to his chest, laving the skin above his left nipple. The boy stiffened when Spike’s fangs grazed his skin, panting in a combination of fear, anticipation, and desire from the scents wafting off him.

Spike sank his fangs into Xander’s flesh, and the boy whimpered at the momentary pain as his skin was pierced. He sucked, drawing on blood spiced with the tang of desire, and as he drank the boy began to moan and wriggle beneath him once more. Before long, Xander was screaming out as he came a second time, his release pulled from him in a mixture of pain and pleasure. With the taste of Xander’s blood exploding over his tongue, and the feel of him clenching around his cock, Spike slammed into Xander one last time, and came.

After allowing them both some time to recover, Spike had Xander clean them up. They dressed, and he escorted the boy to the front door. On the porch Xander hesitated, and then turned back to look at Spike. He could smell fear and uncertainty coming off the boy in waves.

Xander opened his mouth, hesitated, and then asked in a small voice, "Can I come back?"

Spike found it difficult to keep his face blank when inside he was crowing with delight at the way his plans had borne fruit. He stared into Xander’s needful eyes, and then nodded.

Xander made it home, showered carefully to make sure all evidence of his time with Spike was washed away, and was sitting gingerly on the front porch swing pretending to do homework when Joyce dropped Buffy and Willow off.

"Hey, Xan!" Willow greeted him. "Doing homework?" she asked in surprise.

"I do homework!" Xander defended himself, then smiled. "Well, all right, not really. I’m just sorta holding the book and hoping that the knowledge of math will seep into my brain by ozymandamus, or whatever."

"Oscillation," Buffy corrected.

Willow just shook her head. "Osmosis," she said.

They both looked at her. "Huh?"

"Os— Never mind."

Both girls joined him on the porch swing, and while they chatted, his thoughts drifted back to Spike. At the same time he knew he shouldn’t go back to see the vampire, he was contemplating whether Monday after school would be too soon. Now he not only wanted Spike to bite him, he couldn’t wait to have the blond inside him again. He’d never realized how good it could feel to have another man touch you the way Spike had touched him.

He wondered how he’d explain his absences to the girls? He really needed to move back home, he thought. There was no one there to care where he was, or that an evil vampire was fucking and biting him. He decided to broach the subject with Giles on Monday. He could argue that Spike, who was too impatient to stick with a plan, had obviously grown tired of waiting, and just lost interest in Xander. With that decision made, he tuned in to the girls’ conversation.

When Sunday morning dawned, Xander was once more filled with revulsion and self-loathing. He couldn’t believe he’d gone to Spike and begged the vampire to bite him, and then allowed him to... He shifted in the bed, nope, not a dream, he thought as his ass twinged in pain. During the day, he practically clung to Willow, making sure she was always in the room with him. Though she didn’t understand his sudden attack of nerves, Willow didn’t say anything, just allowed Xander to use her as his security blanket.

At research on Monday evening, Xander took the opportunity while Buffy and Willow were chatting to ask Giles if vampires had the ability to thrall their victims, like Dracula. Giles took his glasses off and polished them, then put them back on and peered at Xander through the lenses.

"Why do you ask?" he inquired.

Xander shrugged, blushing. "I just..."

"You’ve been worrying over your reaction to Spike?" Giles guessed.

Xander shuddered—the other man had no idea how right he was—and just nodded.

"To the best of my knowledge, Xander, they don’t," he said, which disappointed Xander, as it would explain his response without having to admit that he had actually wanted it.

"Don’t what?" Angel asked, and Xander squealed like a girl.

"Don’t...do that," he said, pointing at Angel, who just raised an eyebrow in amusement.

"Xander and I were just discussing the matter of whether vampires actually had the ability to thrall their victims," Giles replied, leaving out the bit that Xander had asked him about it, which he appreciated.

"Why?" Angel asked.

"Because it’s a fascinating concept," Giles said, and then prepared to launch into a long and boring discussion.

"Well, as interesting as I’m sure this is going to be," Buffy interrupted, "we really should go patrol." She looked to Angel for support.

Angel glanced at her, and then back at Giles and Xander, who both tried to look innocent. "Yes, we should," he said absently.

Buffy got up and eagerly grabbed her bag of slaying goodies.

"Do you?" Giles asked Angel.

"Do I what?" he asked.

"Have the ability to thrall your victims," Giles replied.

"No," Angel said, and then headed for the door where Buffy was waiting impatiently. "And neither does Spike," he said softly as he passed them, continuing on to Buffy without looking back.

Giles and Xander looked at each other guiltily, and then got back to their research. Well, Giles got back to research, Xander got back to thinking about Spike, and his reaction to the vampire. It was unthinkable that he would be subconsciously attracted to the blond, much less during his waking hours.

This particular bout of self-reflection was due to yet another wet dream involving the vampire. As much as Xander had tried to not think about Spike during the day, as soon as he fell asleep, his subconscious mind took over, and Xander woke that morning covered in his own release. Despite that, he was still determined to ignore the dreams, and stay away from Spike.

By Thursday morning, after three more nights filled with wet dreams about Spike, Xander once more felt like an addict going through withdrawal. All he could think about was Spike biting him, which had been the basis of more than one of his wet dreams, and not a few waking ones, in which he’d begged the vampire to bite him, stroking himself to completion as Spike sucked his blood, sometimes combined with the fucking of his ass, which was almost wiggier than the biting.

Xander cornered Giles in his office at lunchtime and laid out the ‘Spike theory’ he’d developed the preceding Saturday, and then added that, though he loved Willow and Buffy, he really needed some space. Giles, who loved and trusted him, agreed, and suggested that they pick up Xander’s stuff from Willow’s after research and Giles would drive him home. Xander thanked him and left, trying to refrain from looking and sounding too eager.

During research, Giles announced that Xander would be moving back home. Buffy and Willow both immediately looked worried, and Xander felt a stab of guilt.

"Do you think that’s safe?" Buffy asked.

Giles pushed his glasses up his nose. "Spike has neither been seen nor heard from in about four weeks now," he stated. "We’ve learned from past experience that he isn’t one to stick to a plan for very long, and I believe the very fact of his nonappearance may indicate a loss of interest in pursuing the matter on his part."

"I think I speak for all of us when I say ‘huh?’," Buffy said.

Giles sighed. "It’s possible that Spike lost interest in this game he was playing with us when it became obvious that he could no longer reach Xander."

Xander felt another surge of guilt, but resolutely pushed it down. He picked up a book to read, and occupied himself with that for an hour while Willow researched on the computer and Buffy trained with Giles. When Buffy left to meet Angel for patrol, Giles gathered Willow and Xander up and they drove to Willow’s house.

Xander quickly packed his bags, hugged Willow goodbye, and Giles drove him home. Once settled back into his room, Xander sat staring out the window at the dark, wondering if Spike would know he was home—as he had known of their return to Willow’s house—and come to him that night.

Spike didn’t come to him that night, nor the next. By Saturday morning, Xander was frantic with need. He snuck out of the house, got his bicycle, and rode to the mansion. This visit he wasted no time in contemplation, but hurried up to the door. He rang the doorbell and fidgeted nervously while he waited. A couple minutes later the door swung open, and Spike stood there.
Xander gaped at the vampire. He was wearing a pair of black jeans and nothing else, and his hair was sleep-tousled. "I, uh, is this a bad time?" Xander squeaked.

Spike looked Xander over. He’d had to wait a full week for the boy, which put him in a foul disposition, but now that Xander was here, he could feel his nasty mood drifting away like smoke. Without speaking, he stepped back and inclined his head. Xander entered, and glanced nervously up at him. Spike remained silent. He closed the door and then walked to the staircase, wondering if Xander would follow him.

When Spike began to walk away from him, Xander thought he was going to have a coronary at the thought of being left alone in a house full of vampires. He quickly caught up with the blond and closely followed him up the stairs and into the bedroom they’d used before. To his surprise, Spike ignored him, stripped off his jeans, and climbed under the blanket on the bed.

"Close the door," he said sleepily, and then was quiet.

Xander closed the door and then looked around while he waited to see if Spike said anything else. When he didn’t, Xander grew bored. He walked around the room, running his finger over the mantle of the fireplace, rubbing his hand over the cushion of Spike’s chair, then picking up the vampire’s t-shirt and sniffing it. Not knowing what else to do, he laid down on the bed beside Spike.

"Take your clothes off," Spike mumbled.

Xander swallowed nervously, but sat up and did as Spike bid. When he was naked, Spike pulled the blanket back and Xander slid beneath it. He laid on his back, stiff with anxiety. Spike reached out for him and Xander’s breath caught. The vampire pulled him against him so they could spoon, Xander’s back to his front, and then fell asleep. Xander slowly relaxed into his embrace when he realized Spike wasn’t going to do anything else. Sleepless nights took their toll, and Xander soon fell into a deep slumber.

When he woke, it was to the sensation of Spike’s tongue and lips on his neck, and his hand wrapped around Xander’s hard-on. Xander moaned as Spike sucked and stroked him, readily parting his legs when the vampire’s fingers moved to his hole. He relaxed as Spike massaged the pucker, his embarrassment as it twitched at Spike’s touch overridden by his desire for more. Soon Spike was sliding a slicked finger into him, and then two, and Xander was eagerly pushing back onto them.

By the time Spike was fucking him with three fingers, Xander was mewling and gasping, clawing at the sheet with one hand, the other reaching behind him to grip Spike’s hip. Spike withdrew, and then nudged against him with something larger than his fingers, and Xander shuddered in anticipation. He pushed down as Spike pressed in, and then the vampire was fully seated within him.

"Oh, God, Spike," Xander keened.

Spike nuzzled his neck and wrapped his arms around his chest, holding him tight while he slid in and out of him. "Not quite," he whispered.

Xander was nothing but nerve endings. Everywhere Spike touched him sent little jolts of desire coursing through his body on a straight line to his groin. Spike licked and worried the bite mark on his neck and plucked at his nipples, then moved his hand down to teasingly stroke Xander’s aching cock while he continued to leisurely thrust into Xander’s ass.

Suddenly he pulled out and rolled onto his back. "Come here, pup," he said, and helped Xander to straddle his hips. "Ride me," he whispered, and with a groan, Xander sank down onto the hard shaft pressing against his hole, taking Spike in farther than before.

"Feel good?" Spike teased, but Xander was beyond thought. "You feel so good, pup, so hot...and tight...like a velvet glove squeezin’ me. Move a little, pup..."

Xander moved, and cried out as he stimulated his prostate. Placing his hands on Spike’s chest, he began to lift himself up and then lower himself, moving faster, taking Spike deeper with each brush of a finger against the bite marks on his neck and above his nipple.

"That’s it, pup," Spike encouraged him, rubbing a little harder on the bite marks, then pinching them.

"Ahhh, God," Xander managed to get out as his body stiffened, and his release shot out to land on Spike’s chest and stomach.

Spike switched positions again, rolling them so Xander was on his back and Spike was between his legs. "Still want me to bite you, pup?" he asked.

Xander, who could barely think, nodded.

"Need to hear you say it, pup," Spike said softly.

"Please, Spike," Xander said. "Please bite me."

Spike did, and Xander came so hard he passed out, managing to whisper, "Thank you," before darkness enveloped him.

For the next four weeks, Xander slipped off to visit Spike whenever he could get away. At first it was every couple of days, but soon the need grew so great he had to see Spike every day. Some days, if he was in a bad mood, Spike would make Xander suck him off, and then refuse to bite him until Xander had nearly begged himself hoarse. Other days they had sex and Spike would bite him, and sometimes the vampire would allow him to stay afterwards and cuddle. He liked those visits best.

So far he'd managed to fly under Angel's radar, avoiding the dark vampire when possible, and keeping plenty of space between them when forced to be in the same room. It wasn't difficult, since Angel mainly met Buffy on patrol unless he was needed at the library for research. When his friends asked him where he went after school, Xander made up a lie about a note from school and his parents making him go home to study.

This last visit to the mansion had been kind of creepy because, though he’d caught glimpses of the dark-haired female vampire Spike called Drusilla, they’d never met or spoken. Today she glided up to them as Spike walked him to the door. She reached out and touched his face, running her fingers into his hair. Xander was freaked, but he didn’t pull away, afraid of angering Spike.

"Don’t worry, puppy," Drusilla whispered in a sing-song voice. "The stars tell me everything will work out for the best."

Xander just stared at her, and then looked at Spike who shrugged. He turned his gaze back to Drusilla. "Um, okay," he said with a weak smile.

Drusilla smiled in return, and then drifted away, talking to herself.

"Wh-what did she mean?" Xander asked.

"No bloody idea, pup," Spike replied.

Xander nodded, and then turned to leave. He had to hurry or he’d be late meeting the gang for research. He turned back to Spike as a sudden sensation of doom swept over him with the memory of Drusilla’s words. "I-I’ll see you tomorrow?" he asked.

Spike stared at him for a long moment without answering, and then said, "Yeah, pup, tomorrow." He grabbed Xander behind the neck and pulled him in for a kiss.

"Oh, God," Xander panted when Spike let him go, rearranging his erection in his pants. He hoped it went down before he reached the school.

Spike just grinned at him. "Think of me, yeah?"

Xander groaned, and then left. By the time he got to the library, everyone was already there, including Angel, which was odd, especially since the sun hadn't set yet. Everyone looked up and stared at him when he pushed the doors open and entered the library.

"Hey!" he greeted them with his usual goofy grin.

No one smiled back at him.

"Uh, what’s wrong?" he asked.

"Xander, why don’t you come have a seat?" Giles suggested, pushing out the chair from the end of the table.

"O—kay," Xander said, and walked over to sit down. He glanced around the table. Buffy was staring at him as if she couldn’t believe what she saw; Willow was avoiding looking at his face; Angel was worriedly regarding Buffy. He turned to Giles, who was gazing right at him. "What’s up?" he asked nervously.

"Xander," Giles began softly, "where have you been going after school?"

Xander’s heart pounded in his chest. They couldn’t know. There was no way they could know, he thought. "Home," he replied aloud—the same lie he’d been telling them for the past several weeks.

"And what about this afternoon?" Giles asked.

"Home," he said again.

"I stopped by...," Buffy began.

"And then the grocery store," he interrupted. "We were out of...stuff. Grocery-type stuff."

"Oh, Xander," Giles said sadly, and Xander felt like crying as his world slowly crumbled around him. He’d been worried that they would find out, hadn’t wanted them to, and now that they had, he didn’t know what he was going to do. Didn’t know what they were going to do.

"Giles, I..."

"Angel asked me the other day if I’d noticed anything weird about the way you’ve been acting lately, and I told him ‘no’," Buffy said with a voice that had no inflection, staring at the table as she spoke, absently scratching it with her nail. "And then I thought about it, and I realized we really didn’t see you as much as we used to. I talked to Willow and we decided that maybe you felt—I don’t know—embarrassed to be around us because we knew about Spike. I wanted to talk to you about it, but you left this afternoon before I could catch you. So I walked to your house."

Xander’s heart dropped, and tears gathered in his eyes. He swallowed hard. Oh, God, they really did know!

"When I got there, you were just leaving. I was curious, so I followed you." She looked up at him. "You didn’t go to the grocery store," she said. Strangely enough, there was no blame in her eyes, just disappointment, which made him feel even worse.

"Buffy–"

"Why, Xander?" Willow asked.

He looked at her, but had to turn away from the betrayal in her eyes. "I...I needed it," he moaned. "I’m sorry, I...I never meant to hurt you. I didn’t want you to know."

"Did you think we would never find out, Xander?" Giles asked incredulously.

"I hoped," Xander admitted weakly.

"Would you rather we found out when he turned or killed you?" Giles asked acerbically.

"No!" Xander shook his head. "H-he wouldn’t do that. Not now."

"He’s a vampire, Xander. He’s quite capable of doing that."

"No, you don’t..."

"Do you think he cares for you?" Angel asked.

Xander turned his attention to the dark vampire. There had been no censure in his voice, only curiosity.

"He does...," Xander said.

"Oh, dear Lord," Giles muttered unhappily.

"He’s a soulless demon, Xander," Angel said, keeping his voice even.

"Have you been letting him bite you?" Giles asked.

Xander refused to answer. They wouldn’t understand. Heck, sometimes he didn’t understand, he just knew that he needed it.

"Oh, God," Buffy said, and then stood and marched around the table. Before Xander realized what she was going to do, she leaned down and ripped his shirt open, sending buttons flying and exposing the bites on his left breast. He didn’t even attempt to cover them.

Willow gasped, and placed her hand over her mouth. "You’ve been hiding this from us?" she asked, sounding pitifully lost.

"This has to stop, Xander," Giles stated.

"I need him...," Xander tried to explain.

"You don’t need him!" Buffy insisted.

"Yes, I do!" Xander yelled. "I do! I need him!"

"What is wrong with you?" she asked sadly.

"It’s the bite," Angel said. "Vampire bites can be...addicting."

"Addicting?" Giles asked. "You never said..."

"I didn’t think I had to," Angel replied, seemingly unperturbed at Giles tone. "First of all, anything that makes you feel good can be addicting—it’s like a drug. Secondly..." He turned to look at Xander. "...I didn’t now it was an issue, because I didn’t know that Spike was still biting him."

Xander had the grace to look ashamed.

"So, you’re saying Xander will need help breaking this addiction?" Giles asked. "We’ll need to wean him from relying on the bite..."

"How about cold turkey?" Buffy suggested angrily. "Now that I know where Spike’s lair is, staking him will be a piece of cake. No Spike, no biting," she said.

"No, Buffy, you can’t!" Xander cried. Oh, God, this was getting so out of hand! How had this happened? One minute he was... He recalled his uneasy feeling when he’d left Spike earlier.

"I can, Xander. I’m the Slayer. I’m also your friend, and I’m not going to let Spike continue using you, or let you do this to yourself. If you can’t stay away from him, I’ll make sure he stays away from you—permanently."

Xander saw red at her casual dismissal of Spike. "No!" he yelled as he stood, pushing his chair back to fall and slam loudly against the floor, punctuating his statement. "No!" He turned to run from the library.

He hadn’t gotten far when strong arms wrapped around him from behind, halting him. Xander fought, but was no match for Angel’s strength.

"Xander, stop," Willow pleaded. "You’re going to hurt yourself."

Xander didn’t care. He had to get to Spike, to warn him. He twisted futilely in Angel’s arms.


"We have to end this now, while we still can," Angel said, not sounding at all as if he was holding a struggling teen.

"What do you mean?" Giles asked worriedly.

Xander wondered if he’d fallen into some kind of weird world where he didn’t really exist as everyone talked around him, ignoring his feeble attempts to get away from Angel’s grasp.

"The bites on Xander’s chest? Some of them are new, but some have scarred. Spike’s probably been biting him all along. We’re just lucky that he hasn’t claimed Xander, yet," Angel explained. "If he had, it would already be too late to save him."

"Let’s get the weapons," Buffy said, her voice a mix of pain and resolve.

All Xander could think about was Spike. "Noooooo!" he wailed, and then darkness blanketed him.

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