To be Alone...into My Darkness...when I don't have to hunt in order to satisfy my fetish loving nature. Although my Fetishes are regarded as 'sick' that's me! Follow me or hide!
I don't know whether it is ethical or not but I really indulge in watching people suffer like dirty pigs! That's my nature. Once, I seem like a Pain Machine and the Other like a lovely pet; ready to satisfy the needs of His Mistress.
I am in love with death although I am afraid to die...
and as I always say:
'I will always mourn for You. Can You hear me? Always for You...Alone in Heaven'
I love the poems: 'Ithaki' (Kavafis), 'Monogramma' (Elyths), most of Seferis poems,the book 'Askitiki' from Kazantzakis,RezsŰ Seress's 'Gloomy Sunday' and the 'Moonlight Sonata' of Beethoven.
I really get deadly 'high' with the aboves...
Shouldn't also forget to say that i like clubs such as Darksun, Underworld and Rebound in Greece, Corporation in Sheffield and Slimelight in London...places that absolutely suit with my way of living...Actually I love dancing :)
DislikesI just hate ungrateful people. I can understand if someone is fake...I know that compromising might be a solution but being ungrateful is disgusting.
I also hate people who are able to identify my weaknesses and are able to understand my true feelings and my real intentions. This is a painful time for me just because I can't hide from them and I must be just myself which is very difficult for me. I prefer acting all the time...I am ashamed to be myself...
If you are seeking just for a singe drop in order to flood of happiness,I would definitely offer my blood to you...but do not forget;don't fuck with me...you will die...
MusicI adore groups such as Current 93, Coph Nia, Sopor Aeternus, Diamanda Galas, Death in June, Diorama, Diafana Krina, Ordo Equilibrio, Boyd Rice,Assemblange 23, VnV Nation,Covenant, De Vision, Depeche Mode, Blutengel, Cinema Strange, Bauhaus, Deine Lakaien etc... And favorite genres: apocalyptic folk, dark ambient, etherial, electro, industrial and noise.
That's the piece of music I love and I hate. I love it cause it is a source of inspiration for me and I hate it cause I can't live without it. It's the drug that revives me and at the same time reminds me the defects of my human nature...
The Sorrowful Clown
I touch the meaning of life by scattering my feelings.
I misuse my human substance and I am wasted on temporary pleasures.
I might be seeking for 'the sublime',for something that never existed before,
for something that human mind can not capture...
I am not a God
I do not create by using mud
I am not a magician
I do not create anything fake, an illusion...
I count on everything that originates from my soul.
Like the ouroboros, I bite rabidly my fleshes and I revive.
I gain a new form.
You might not be able to realize it but I am definitely sure that you can see the light that blinds you.
As time passes not only I gain nothing,but also I forget...
I forget the links with the past; my friends, my family, the small flowerpot on the window, your letters, your smile, your touch...
I am desperate...
I am captivated in a world full of untruth,darkness and delusion.
I live in shadows, I hear people crying and fear is spreaded above me.
I am alone...
I do not fit in your 'perfectly made' world. I don't have the abilities to do so...
You don't fit in mine...
If you wish to enter the gate of my soul you have to be prepared to become a victim.
You hide and I chase you
I dominate your mind
And what will you gain?
A true romance from a sorrowful clown...
The Path Of Salvation
I always wanted to follow you. Without even realizing it, you had acquired a second shadow, a few meters away from you, which was able to sense your breath, touch your traces and feel your presence on every thought and move. I was watching the way you lived the life, you sensed, the way you laugh, cry and react. Through this eternal chase I matured, I regained my lost confidence, my lost innocence.
I was swimming in your river of sensuousness and without realizing it I became a chump that was drifted away the waterfall of your delights. I perceive my soul... I was wearing a brand new disguise that covered my dull and 'old scull and crossbones' reality, the unfitting to myself delight. I found out the strength to carry through the new life that you introduced. I adored you while I was following you to your liquid pathways, having always with me the life jacket in case I cage to your whirlpool because...to be honest they were several the times that I sparked out when you glimpsed on me even accidentally. When you will be tired and sick of the decay of our world and you desperately look for a crutch to pillar your dreams and your soul, do not hesitate to call me...I will be waiting for you ... I am hopeful but please, please don't let me die without even a single kiss...
I Will Always Mourn For You
I stand between shadows among dead black rosesÖItís a full moon night. Everything has changed since you left. The stars have disappeared from the sky. The light of the moon lightens your gravestone. Itís wet and full of mud.
Were you crying again my love? I started screaming again and again until my voice echoed to the hills.
Iím sure you can hear my crying. Iím sure you can feel my hand when I gentle your golden hair. I am struggling desperately all these cold nights to get a sign from you. I get nothing. Even my dreams are ugly and deathwatches enter the gates of my mind. A bright glowing star shines almost invisible and wipes out the darkness of my soul.
A teardrop falls on the soil and a beautiful red rose appears among the black ones. Is that you my sweet?
I feel you breathingÖ You look so sexy in those stockings and corset. Please, letís keep this moment forever my princess. I pass you my chalice and fill it with blood and seeds of your love. I will keep it sealed inside my heart. All my yearnings are redeemed and seek for a single kissÖ.All of a sudden I hear the sound of a key unlocking a iron door. I open my eayes and the image of an ugly nurse interupts my dreaming...It's time to get back to my nonesense reality. Dreams don't even last long even if you are dreaming.