Non-Sequitopia
Parts 31 to 60

by
Misanthrope7842

         
         
         








Part Thirty-Six   Flashbacks

Xander was awake and reading on the sofa when Spike came home, tense and bloodied.  He had woken shortly after Spike left and couldn't go back to sleep without him safe in the house. Especially not before dawn.  He noticed the bruises, the black eye that would take at least a couple of days to heal, and a slight limp.  But Xander remained seated, knowing Spike would resent his coddling now. He also knew that these were not self inflicted, so all was bruised, but well.

"Good evening?"  He hoped that the tale of brave demon slayage would help Spike unwind.

"No."  His voice was tight, and he had either screamed a lot or cried a lot tonight.  Xander heard the microwave beep, then start again.  After the third cycle, Spike came into the room and handed a beer to Xander, four more in his hands.  So it really had been rough, and now they were going to participate in the ageless male ritual of drown-your-sorrows.

"Kill anything?"

Spike shot him a Look, an Old Spike Look that said 'I'm going to rip your throat out right bloody now'.  "I do not want to discuss it.  I want to turn on the telly and get drunk.  You joining?"

"What the hell,"  Xander replied and downed his beer.  "Keep up, would you?"

***

"Then she..." gasp.  "Then she..."  gasp.  Xander stopped laughing long enough to imitate the look on Willow's face.  That set Spike off again, and both slightly, or possibly very, inebriated men rolled around the floor, laughing so hard tears fell and ribs ached.

"That was your first kiss?"  Spike gasped.

"Shut up."

"No, it was all very... sweet, and... innocent, and... gay, Xander. Innocently gay, but... Didn't you know?"

"Shut up.  He was my best friend, and he was hot, and shut up.  If Willow would have been there before we started, instead of after, it probably would have been her, so no, I didn't think anything of it. And I had girlfriends, you know. And sex. With women. All of them women. Wait. Yes, all of them women."

"Thought it would have been her."

"Willow?"

Spike nodded as he sipped his beer, which resulted in a wet Spike.  Spike looked down as if wondering how that happened.  He shrugged and removed his shirt, exposing another bruise and chiseled abs.

Xander was very much enjoying the show, but his brain had finally processed the preceding conversation.  "Well, we all know how that turned out."

"You and Red?" Spike asked.

"Yeah, you remember.  Oh wait, you probably don't."

"What are you going on about, Whelp?"

"Remember? Microscope... factory... love spell?" Xander felt out of place that he was the only one fully dressed, so he removed his shirt, in a much clumsier but still as effective effort. He tossed the shirt over his shoulder, but his aim was off, and it landed on the lamp.

"Sort of."

"Another Spike plan, well thought out, and carried through to perfection."

"Hey, it was a bloody brilliant plan, if I hadn't been..."

"Shitfaced?" Xander frowned at his empty beer bottle.

"Yeah." Spike handed him another.

"Yeah, well, then, me and Wills, we sort of had a... thing."

"Thought she was with the wolf."

"She was."

"Xander! You cad." Spike opened his eyes wide, and then seemed to forget how to close them for a few moments.

"Shut up.  Anyway, it didn't work out." Xander drained the bottle and stacked it with the rest of the empties.

"Yeah, with you not being a girl.  And having been gay since your first kiss."  Spike smiled, only harping on the subject because the fire in Xander's eyes when he was mad but not really mad made them turn such a beautiful, fuckable color.

"Thought she might finally end up with Giles after that." Xander mumbled.

"Again, the Watcher's not a girl."

"Don't say that like it matters, to either of them."

"Watcher's bent, too?  They put something in the water in Sunnydale?"

"Wouldn't doubt it.  Anyway the Watcher might not be, he seemed to like girls enough, but Ripper definitely is. Or was.  Or something.  I need another beer.  You want?"

Spike nodded before toppling over, so Xander rose and staggered to the fridge for more.  He crawled back in the room, pushing the case in front of him.  "Didn't want to drop them."  He explained, drunk logic making it the most rational action in the world.

"So anyway... Oh yeah, Ripper had a thing for guys.  Course, he also had a thing for Joyce, so-"

Spike spat out a mouthful of beer.  "Rupert and the Slayer's mother?"

"No, Ripper."  Xander told him about the chocolate.

"Bit odd, that."

"The candy or that it wasn't Buffy herself?" Xander asked, still surprisingly intuitive for a drunk.

"That one."

"Yeah, but really. Can you see it?  Maybe if she was more like Kendra or Willow- which gets me back to my point. Quit distracting me." Xander took another long drink. Then he began to rip the label to shreds.

"Go on, then." Spike was very drunk, but not so much so that he didn't hear the build up behind that statement. He hoped that he was either sober enough or that Xander was drunk enough for this Conversation, capitalized with due respect. They had a couple that needed to come out, but he had hoped not to have them in this condition. Or this year, for that matter.

"That time... When you were going to turn Willow."

"Yes?"  He didn't wince at the thought of his first attempt at post-chip feeding. He didn't.

"Why her?" He said in a small voice. 

"What?"

"Why Willow.  I mean, I know she's pretty hot as a vamp, and she's really smart, and her magic would probably help you a lot, but..."

"Xander, I didn't go there to turn Red.  I went there to kill the Slayer.  But she was off shagging Soldier boy, or something. And Red was there. Besides, she's a tasty little morsel, isn't she?"

"God, Spike, aren't there any of us you didn't want to fuck?"

"No one but you, Pet." He leered at Xander.

"Shut up."  Xander said, still peeling labels and trying to destroy them.

"Xander, you don't want to be a vampire."

"No." Xander sounded unsure, even though Spike knew he didn't.

"You'd make a fan-fucking-tastic vampire, but then I'd have to kill you, what with the whole working for redemption epidemic running through my family."

"Would you still love me?" Small voice again.

"As a vamp?"

"As a anything."

"Xander, I would love you if you were turned into a cockroach.  I'll love you always, no matter what."

"But it won't be forever." The pain in Xander's eyes made Spike's chest tighten.

"Xan, yes, I."

"No, you'll get tired of me, or even if you don't you won't stay while I get old and die.  Spike, you won't want to be with me like that, and I won't let you stay out of pity or obligation."

"You're getting a little ahead of yourself, aren't you?"

"No.  I told you how I feel, and it won't change, ever.  Not for me.  This is it, Spike.  You're it." Xander looked so honest, so open that Spike knew this wasn't the alcohol talking.

"Xander, stop.  Remember when you mentioned Consorts?"

Xander nodded.

"Tell me everything you know." Xander smiled and Spike could see him begin. 

"Well, first I remember this dark tunnel, and then a bright light.  There was a doctor and he said, 'It's a boy'."

Spike arched an eyebrow.  "Done?"

"I told you the book only said that sometimes a Master Vampire will take a human lover. The Master bites the human and the human is given a lot of respect among vampires, and then the vampire turns the human or kills him, whichever they want."

"Well, that's not exactly untrue, Pet, but there's a lot left out."

"Yeah, but I know you won't turn me, and I know you won't kill me, so."

"That's just the basics.  If I made you my Consort, and I haven't even though I bit you.  If I did, you'd become a lot more like me.  Faster, stronger-"

"Better than before? Do you have the technology?" Xander was still grinning, his earlier insecurities subsiding for the moment. This was the alcohol talking.

"Xander, you're making it very difficult to remember why I want you around forever."

"So it would be forever?"

"I don't know. But if not, then you'll have ruined me for all others, and what else matters once we're gone?"

"Ego much?"  Xander scooted over into Spike's arms.  The vampire had never gotten to be the cuddler before, always he was the cuddlee.  He liked this, feeling larger than Xander, able to comfort and protect him.

"So this is a big thing, then?" Xander mumbled, already half asleep against Spike, hands splayed across his cool chest for comfort.

"Other than the Sire/childe bond, the biggest."

"And you didn't..."

"Haven't even considered it." Spike pulled Xander even closer to him, holding the boy tight, and running his hands up and down Xander's arms in soothing patterns.

"But you are now?" Xander asked, close to sleep now that the buzz had worn off and all that was left was the heavy-limbed need for sleep.

"Yes."

"There's more?"

"Yes."

"Tell me later?"

"Yes."

"Kiss me now?"

"Yes."



Part Thirty-Seven   Claimed

Spike came out of his bedroom after semi-sleeping fitfully. Even the alcohol hadn't helped like he hoped it might, thanks to Xander's now-uncharacteristic battle with insecurities and the again stilted talk of claims and Consorts. They were going to have to finish that talk one of these days, one of these fast approaching days, but they never seemed able to get to that point. Which was probably a good thing, considering Spike had exhausted his knowledge on the subject last night.

He'd had several nightmares afterwards, some involving the Consort bond and all of which centered around killing that bloody demon with his beautiful Xander's face. Of course in the dreams it wasn't a demon, and he was killing Xander for the pure fun of it, just because that was the kind of thing he did, even when he didn't anymore. Because he was, and always would be evil. Evil dead thing.

Xander was slumped on the sofa in his usual half-sit/ half-sprawl way, and Spike envied his relaxation. He needed to do... something. Get the dream-Xander to stop screaming. Stop himself from screaming. Calm, deep breaths and Xander sat up, looked in his direction at the unnecessary action.

"Spike?" He asked with concern, sitting up but not standing.

'I will take care of you.'

Spike came to the couch and kneeled in front of Xander. "It had your face."

"What? What did?"

"Last night. There was a demon and he had your face and he threatened you and he had your face and he said things and I had to kill him and he. Had. Your. Face."

Xander sat up fully, seeing the distress, knowing that tone of voice. Knowing what he had to do and praying that he wouldn't have to do it. He wasn't ready yet, not for this step. This had come from nowhere, even though it hadn't and if he wasn't hung over he would know what to do.

"It was good that you killed it. It wasn't me, and I'm fine. You killed it because you were protecting me. That was very good." He gave the reassurance to Spike, knowing from the franticness in his voice that was what he needed. Spike had babbled, for christsakes, he needed this.

"Looked like you. Sounded like you." Spike dropped his head.

"It wasn't me. You'd never hurt me. Tell me what you need." Xander continued to hold Spike's shoulders, rubbing his thumbs over the back of his neck.

"Said you wouldn't claim me." Spike sounded so desperate, now, and Xander could see the tears threatening to fall.

"Of course I'll claim you. I'll claim you right now. You're mine and I claim you." Xander pushed him down, pulled his own rumpled sleep clothes off as Spike did the same. Spike looked at him, reached out and then pulled his hand back. Xander nodded and Spike reached for him again. He let Spike touch him, fondle at his rapidly growing erection and trace his fingers lightly over his balls. He was going to claim Spike. No one hurts his property and Spike was his.

Once he was fully hard and thrusting into Spike's fist, he lay Spike down, straddled his stomach and pulled his wrists over his head.

"Stay there."

Spike interlocked his fingers and nodded.

Xander sat back, hovering over Spike but not touching him. This was not about touching, this was claiming.

He leaned down to kiss Spike, a hard kiss, thrusting his tongue in rhythm with his hand pulling himself off. He owned his mouth, Spike reciprocating but not initiating, giving but not taking. Xander was Master and only he could take. Xander pumped himself more vigorously now, seeing Spike's eyes riveted to him, waiting and wanting and needing him. Him and only him, always.

Too soon he was ready to come, quicker than he thought possible, but Spike was watching him, and when Spike watched, it was so much more than seeing. It was being fucked with no contact, as if eyeballs were errogenous zones no one told him about before. He pulled backand aimed for Spike's chest, thick streams falling and pooling, dripping slowly off his nipples and into the shallow valley in between.

"You're mine. I claim you. Mine."

Spike's face flashed, a brief ripple from human to demon and back again as he came, too, shooting off behind Xander and onto his thighs without ever having been touched, complete in knowing that he was claimed, was owned, belonged to Xander, who would love him and take care of him and give him what he needed. Always.

Xander moved from on top of him, sitting next to Spike and stroking his hair with his clean hand as they waited for the semen to dry. Occasionally Xander would reach up to check and Spike would flinch.

"Sh. Not going to take it off, just checking." He didn't want to believe someone would be so cruel as to claim Spike but not finish it, not let it become real. But Xander knew who had trained him, and the depths of behavior to which he would sink to deprive his sub of the satisfaction of being owned. Xander forced himself away from those thoughts, back to now when he was the claimant and Spike was his. Xander tested and once it flaked off, Spike sat up.

Spike stared at his chest, not able to move yet until it sank in that it was true, that this was real. "You claimed me."

"I love you."

"You do." And this time it wasn't a question, because Spike had the proof, dried on his chest and down his belly.

"Go get cleaned up. I'll get us some dinner." Xander smiled and pulled Spike into a soft kiss before letting him go. *Mine* he thought, suddenly feeling very possessive. "Mine."

And Spike smiled a small, sincere smile, then continued to the shower.



Part Thirty-Eight   So I Was Thinking

Xander and Spike were seated at the table, Xander enjoying garlicless spaghetti and Spike enjoying blood soaked noodles.  It looked the same, pretty much, and Xander had to threaten Spike with the duster if he switched the plates when his back was turned.  Just in case though, he hadn't turned around.

"So, I was thinking."

"Don't hurt yourself." Spike mumbled around a mouthful of noodles.

"Spike, really." Xander was exasperated, but at least Spike was eating in front of him.

"Right, you were thinking."

"You'd been better lately."

Spike nodded, not sure where this was going. He had been better, but only because Xander promised to take care of him. "Most of the time."

"It's not going to go away, though." It wasn't a question, but Spike shook his head anyway.
"Hey, look at me. It's good, it's okay. I just want to talk about ground rules."

"You want to do this now?" Spike's voice was small.  He had been comfortable, relaxed, not even thinking about hurting now that he had been claimed, now that he had proof that Xander meant what he said. He didn't need this now.

"No, but I want to talk about it, set things up before it gets bad again and neither of us know what's coming next." Xander didn't like not being able to provide what his lover needed, and that morning had come too close for comfort to being just that.

"Oh."

"I was thinking we could move your bed into my room, and then use your room for... that."

"Why?" Spike didn't look up, but Xander saw his confusion. His former master had probably taken privileges whenever and wherever he wanted.

"Separation. When we're out here, you can tell me whatever and we can do whatever, you know, and in there... it doesn't work that way. It's clearer that way. For me."

"Don't have to move the bed." Spike spoke softly, not sure if he was allowed to contradict Xander's plans.

"You'll stay with me? You want that?"

"'S what I said, innit?" Fortified, Spike lifted his head. Apparently, the rules were going to be constant, and they were 'out here' now.

Xander grinned dopily. "Good, that way I won't have to get a new bed for there. I kinda like that iron headboard you've got. It has definite possibilities. One more thing."

"Do you have to talk so bloody much?" Spike wasn't really upset, just irritated that he had to discuss this. Vampires knew, humans had to talk. Waste of good shagging time, in his opinion.

"Spike, I want this cleared up. I'm guessing there's really no use for safewords?  Seems we've gone beyond Dominant and Submissive, but straight to Master and Slave, right?"

"Yeah. 'S not like you could hurt me, anyway."

"You think?" Xander's body stayed the same, but his voice became harder, deeper. He knew how much Spike wanted this. He was not going to allow him to hide behind attitude, asking questions or being a smart-ass, that was one thing, but no matter where they were, Xander was not going to allow Spike to question him. If he wanted this, he wanted it totally.

"Maybe."

"I think I could."

Nod.

"Say it." Xander ordered.

"You could hurt me." Spike remained looking directly at Xander, knowing the words were true.

"But I won't.  You know why?"

Nod.

"Tell me."

Spike took a deep breath. "I don't deserve it."

"No. I'll make you feel pain, I'll make you bleed, if that's what you need. But you don't deserve to hurt. No one will ever make you hurt again." Xander told him, hoping the words were getting through. Not just Master says it, so it's true, but Xander says it, so it's true.

"No?"

"Never." Promise, Spike, please believe me.

"Can we go to bed now?"

Xander tried to pitch his voice back to normal, but the look in Spike's eyes, darkened to a blue so deep Xander doubted it even had a name, made it come out much huskier than he remembered. "Yes, please."



Part Thirty-Nine   First Time

Xander knew that it was time, that this was the time. He also knew that no matter what his words had been in the other room, and he had meant them; he wanted Spike to tell him anything and everything, so that they could share and laugh and just be together, but once someone accepted the roles of Dominant and Submissive, those roles were always in play. The rules slackened at times, dependant upon the circumstances, but they were always there. Always to be obeyed.

Which was going to make Dominating during his first time with another man both necessary and difficult.

Spike pulled him to the bed, lust darkening his eyes, need filling his movements. He slowly moved his hands over Xander's body, feeling again the muscles, the warmth, the presence that was his Xander. He moved his hands to the hem of Xander's shirt, pushing it up and out of the way enough for him to touch his stomach, his sides, around to his back and up over his shoulders, always asking Xander with his eyes and receiving permission before moving any further.

Xander caught his mouth in a kiss, tongue tracing his lips and darting between until Spike opened enough for him to taste. Xander brushed his tongue over Spike's teeth, up to lick along the top of his mouth, and back down to circle around Spike's. He could kiss him for hours, never doing anything else.  But Spike's desperate moans had him moving again, stepping back and stopping the kiss.

Xander helped him pull off his shirt, then removed Spike's own. He pulled him close, wrapping his arms around him and leaning in to kiss again, gently and then more insistently as Spike's hands played over his back, moving in little circles lower and lower until they were at his waistband and then under, just barely. He tightened his hold on Spike, thinking that he could never get close enough to that body, cool but hot all at the same time. Feeling like silk but infinitely harder, stronger. Nothing felt better than being pressed against this body, unfamiliarly not soft where he was used to but so much more perfect than anything before.

Spike felt the shift of Xander's body, his knee parting his legs gently so that the pressure, the friction could be increased.  Little moans that he wasn't sure which one of them were making lost in the kisses Xander was placing over his face, neck, mouth. It was as if he couldn't focus on just one spot, wanting to taste all of him at the same time.

"Need you. So much, so beautiful."

Xander pushed him away gently, then pulled him back for another grind and kiss before pushing him away again. He nudged Spike to sit on the bed, pulling at his pants as he sat back. He quickly removed his own and crawled up the bed, hovering over Spike's body, looking and breathing harder now, not touching, just looking.  Spike shivered. Then he touched, one hand coming up to his thigh, grazing lightly down and back up, over his hip and onto his belly. He moved his hand farther up, teasing one pink nipple and then the other, replacing his fingers with his tongue, lips, teeth.  Spike began panting and tried to reciprocate, but Xander moved his hand away.

"For you. Want to learn you and know you and taste you."

He took him in hand and pumped once, twice before leaning down and licking the head with broad strokes.  Spike buried his hands in Xander's hair, not pushing or pulling, but just holding, needing to touch him.

"Need to taste you, Xan. Need to have you. Let me?"

He pulled Xander up to kiss him and rolled them so that he was on top. Spike moved down slowly, kissing his throat, his collarbone, his nipples. Teasing them just as Xander had done to him. And then he was there, breathing deep at the musky scent of arousal coming from Xander and pressing his cheek against the hot flesh before closing his lips around the head. Then he was taking it in all that he could, and Xander thought he would come right then.

He brought his hand up to feel the weight of Xander's balls in his hand before moving up to the shaft and sliding his mouth down, sucking each one into his mouth and rolling their taste around his tongue. Then he took him in his mouth and began sucking, taking him all the way in and hollowing his cheeks with the suction. Then back up to concentrate on the sensitive glans, tonguing the slit and feeling Xander's gasps and moans reverberate throughout his body. Spike swallowed him down, nose tickled by the dark hairs at the root, and he moaned. Xander arched into the sound and Spike pulled back just in time for his thick come to hit his tongue. He swallowed all of it, still sucking to get more of the taste that was almost as good as his blood, so close, needing Xander inside him.

And Xander came up again, still hovering over Spike, and gently lowering himself full length, pressing their bodies together, starting with the ankles, then knees, thighs and groin. Spike shuddered and thrust up, rubbing them together. Xander was determined to give him everything; anything he could think of that would bring pleasure to Spike he would give. Spike was his, and he would take care of him.

He couldn't help the possessiveness the thought stirred in him and he growled out loud.

"Mine."

"Yours. Al- always yours." Spike responded, still thrusting, still scrabbling at Xander's back, bringing him closer.

Then Xander was back up, kissing Spike and pushing at his knees until he brought them up a bit and Xander could kneel down between them. He rubbed and squeezed moving ever so slowly closer to his goal.

"Please, Xander, Please. I need. Need you,"

Xander reached across to the nightstand and fumbled in the drawer a bit before returning with the tube he'd placed there a few weeks before. He quickly squeezed out a bit and coated his fingers, then dropped back to where he had been, massaging and rubbing and just barely in.

Spike's panting quickened, and Xander's breathing became harsher. Just these sounds alone and he was nearly ready, needed to be there, where his finger was slowly making its way inside. He pulled back and then returned, two fingers now, pumping more and leaning down to kiss Spike. When he was thrusting back against his fingers, lowering and pushing, Xander added another, stretching and feeling and right there. Spike let out a muffled scream and arched up, driving Xander's fingers deeper. Xander couldn't wait any longer, Spike's litany of 'more, please, again, more' forcing him to be in there, making him incoherent with pleasure. He hoped the preparations were enough and removed his finger. Moving quickly due to Spike's groan at the emptiness, Xander slicked himself and positioned himself at the opening.

"Please, please now."

He pushed his way in, met by unbelievable tightness.

"Oh, oh, God, Spike."

Spike arched and clenched and Xander froze, held in place as much by the feeling of finally, finally being inside, deep where he had wanted to be for so long as by the tight muscles holding him. Then Spike relaxed and Xander moaned as he pulled out, slowly, and then back in. He set a rhythm, quickly building to hard and fast, wanting to go slow but not now, not now. Slow would come later, now was for claiming. Xander felt his climax approaching, unable to hold back, prolong this feeling. He reached for Spike's throbbing erection and closed around it, trying to match the rhythm he set but unable to focus on anything other than the velvet feeling surrounding him.

"Now, please, come with me." Xander leaned over, kissing and nipping his way across Spike's throat to the place he'd bit before. And then he bit, drawing Spike's rich blood into his mouth, feeling his orgasm take over with the blood now inside him.

And Spike came, covering both of them in his cool seed as Xander thrust hard, deep into Spike. He cried out his vampire's name over and over until he finally felt empty. When he realized his eyes were closed, he opened them to look down into Spike's demonic visage. He saw Spike panting and trying to regain his concentration long enough to will it away, the struggle, tensing him and making him lose the euphoric afterglow that carried Xander along.

"Don't. Let me see you." Xander spoke softly, not wanting to force Spike but wanting him to be who he was.

Spike heard his words but couldn't accept them, knowing Xander would come to his senses soon and run from the demon in his bed.  It wasn't until he felt Xander's hot fingers tracing his brow, hovering over his lips that he stopped trying to fight it, letting his true face stay.

"So fucking beautiful. Always."

Spike just stared at Xander. Xander began moving again, already half hard and not wanting to stop, ever. Spike's eyes widened, and Xander got more of a view of the glowing yellow eyes he found just as amazing as Spike's blue ones. He lowered himself again, arms straining with the effort but not caring, and when Spike met him, pressed his neck against Spike's mouth.

"Love you. Drink."

Spike nuzzled tentatively, letting his fangs graze over the spot he wanted, over Xander's mark. Then he bit, and Xander screamed his pleasure. Spike pulled and brought another mouthful of Xander's rich blood into his mouth, feeling the heat rush straight to his groin, and pulsing out in time with Xander's third orgasm of the night.

Xander pulled himself off of Spike and flopped down beside him, boneless and breathless and utterly content. Spike turned to face him and looked pretty much the same.

"Mmm." He managed.

"Uh-huh." Spike had a little more control over his vocabulary, but not much.

"Sleep now."

"Good?"

"Better."

"Sleep."

"Mmm."



Part Forty   Bigger

Xander and Spike lay in bed, side by side.  Xander's breathing had finally returned to normal, and Spike was listening to his heart beat steadily.  Everything about Xander was so steady, so stable, and Spike felt amazed to be here. His first time with Xander had been nothing short of incredible, and Spike wasn't quite grounded enough to think what it would be like once they'd learned each other's bodies.

"That was. Three times," Xander whispered, awed.

"Vampire blood is like that."

Xander's hand moved slowly then, almost shyly, even though there was nothing he should possibly be shy about now. From his comfortable position on top of Spike's hand, pads of fingers gently stroking backs of knuckles, strangely more erotic than many acts the vampire had had performed on other, more likely parts of his body, he moved to gently rest his hand on the shallow just behind his hipbone, always prominent, so unlike Xander's own, more full and hidden.  Xander's thumb then grazed over the bone there, as Spike felt the other hand begin a slow, steady just-like-him rhythm on himself. 

"Didn't wear you out enough, Pet?"  Spike was able to ask, beginning again to breathe.

"Sh.  I just want to touch." Xander whispered, speaking reverently and making Spike harden at the thought that someone could love him so much that worship would be a poor choice in words.

"Want to touch back."

"No. Be still."  Whispering still, but more forcefully, and Spike relished giving control over to Xander, basking in more sensations than he had felt at once, some he couldn't even name.

Spike remained still, as still as he could, while Xander caressed him, breaking the silence only to breathe unnecessarily but needed so, so much. His thighs, hips, belly rippling each time Xander touched him.  Sometimes lightly, stroking just with fingers, sometimes harder, using his blunt workman's nails.  Sometimes using the heel of his hand, feeling muscles tighten involuntarily under him. Spike was hard again and leaking by the time Xander reached for his cock, as aroused as he was. Xander began slow strokes on Spike, matching the pace he had set on himself. Using just his thumb and forefinger now, he slid up to the heads, catching just under the rim and then back down. Xander's elbow lay on Spike's chest, bent at a strange angle but ignored anyway. Then he flattened his hand and weighed their heavy sacs, one in each hand.

Much as Spike was enjoying the post-play foreplay, and he was, both the physical and emotional turmoil Xander was creating proved to be too much for him.

"Xander." His voice came out thickly and wavering at the same time.

"Concentrating." Xander's voice had a similar quality.

"Please."

Xander sped then, still timing both hands together.  When he felt the familiar tingle and tightening in both of them, he eased back, letting them both come down a bit before speeding again.

"Please, Xander, don't stop.  Please. Don't stop."

This time he didn't stop, pulling them both to completion, left hand coated in warmth at the same time as his right was covered in cool moisture, thick and more than he would have imagined after all that happened before.

"Didn't know... you were so..." The sexiest sound ever had to be his vampire struggling to breathe.  He didn't have to, but Xander did that to him, made him forget for a moment that he was beyond these things.  He breathed for Xander.

"I didn't either."

"Did you find what you were looking for?"

"No. Kinda got distracted."

Spike had recovered now, physically if not emotionally. To keep himself in check, prevent him from focusing on the too much of the feelings, he joked, but not really. "Don't worry. Yours is bigger."

"What?" Xander snapped out of the orgasmic haze that seemed to be a permanent part of his brain now.

"Don't tell me you weren't wondering."

"Not really. Yeah, but... I am?"

"Bit."

"But it's not too... you know..."

"Bloody hell, Xander.  You are the only man on earth who could be insecure about being too large." Spike pulled him to his chest, wanting to comfort his Xander, tell him how perfect he was, wonderful and made just to fit him and no one, no one had ever made him feel half of a whole. Not like this.

"No, you make me sound...I'm not. It's just that. God, Spike, you're so tight, so amazing and it felt so good. I want it to be good for you too. I don't want to hurt you. I want you to feel like I did."

"Never hurt me, Xan. So good, so good to feel you. Love you." He was above Xander now, punctuating each phrase with a kiss, knowing no matter what vampire recovery time was, Xander was done tonight, and that was good, because there would be no urgency. Just love.







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