Merely a Possession

by
T J Goldstein

Part 7
Lindsay's Angels 5

      Tomas' Inner Work Room

      March 9, 2005

      7.39 pm

      He had found it.

      Found the flaw in the layers of magical wards that protected the Hyperion both on the inside and on the outside.

      Snorting to himself, he again wondered at how stupid the flaw was. So simple and yet, it had taken both himself and April well over a whole day to find it. It was something that he had overlooked dozens of times before he tried to think as the spell caster would have while casting the wards upon the Hyperion. Thank God for the sheer carelessness on the spell caster’s part. Just a reminder for himself to be ever-vigilant when tweaking a spell to the best of its ability.

      With a flourish, he threw the last ingredient into the bowl sitting on the table in front of him. Drawing a deep breath in order for him to start the chant that would ignite the transportational whirlpool, he glanced behind him for a brief moment and smiled as he saw that his apprentice was still deep in concentration. Her complexion was glowing with barely shed sweat as she pushed herself to her mental and physical limits.

      The ever so promising girl was continuing to prod and poke at the numerous layers of wards that made up the protection cloak that was draped over the outside of the Hyperion. Searching for another tiny flaw that would allow her to start ripping off the chain-mail of wards, one ward at a time. So far, apart from what they had both discovered, the network of wards was impenetrable. Turning back to the task ahead of him, he allowed himself a quick prayer to the numerous Gods, hoping that the gamble he was about to take would pay off.

      Clearing his throat, he started the chant. His voice never rising above a soft whisper that only he could hear. A minute passed, another and yet another before he was finished. His heart jumped a beat as he watched a bright yellow mist rise from the small bowl, lazily floating in front of his eyes until there was enough to solidify into a huge circle. As the circle started to whirl around and around in an ever increasingly fast cycle, he rose to his feet and stepped forward. With not even a glance behind him to see how April was faring, Tomas stepped through the portal and into the Hyperion.

      Alone.

      Unprotected.

      Defenseless,

      And hated well beyond his own estimation.

      Childrens Playroom, Third Floor, Hyperion Hotel

      March 9, 2005

      7.45pm

      "Bored...bored...bored!" grumbled Christopher, more to himself than to anyone else in the room with him. Sighing, the small boy glanced around the room and tried to will someone to be interested enough to play Monopoly with him, it just wasn't fun playing it by yourself. His sight fixating on Cordelia’s back as the young woman struggled to get one of the twins properly dressed, Christopher narrowed his eyes and concentrated.

      //Play with me...play with me...leave Ginny alone...play with me...play with me...leave Ginny alone...//

      When after a mere thirty seconds of thinking the words as hard as he could failed to turn Cordelia’s attention towards him, Christopher let out an exaggerated sigh and slumped forward in his seat. He was bored and nobody was doing anything to help him. Christopher honestly didn't care who played the board game with him, he just wanted somebody to pay some sort of attention to him. Resting his head against the already set out Monopoly board, he turned his face to look at W'nth and Robin, sitting in the far end of the playroom as they entertained Aiesha. Maybe if he asked nicely enough, one or both of them would play with him?

      "Aaaaannnndreeeew...I'm booooorrrrred!"

      "Christopher...that's not Robin's name and you know it. If you want Robin to play with you then ask properly" stated Cordelia in a steely voice. Not even bothering to turn around, she mentally added for Christopher not to use that whiney voice ever again, it was something that she hoped the twins would never learn to use. With the last of Gonturan's buttons fastened, Cordelia lifted the toddler from the change table and placed her down on the floor. Her hands firmly on her hips, she turned to face Christopher as he apologized and instead, whined for Robin to play Monopoly with him. Wincing once again at the small man/boy's tone of voice, Cordelia gave Robin a weary smile as the younger man left his lover’s side and went to sit with Christopher at the playroom’s large table.

      "It's fine Cordelia, I don't mind the name. Used to it you know...even W'nth calls me that at times" Robin admitted as he started to divide the brightly coloured money between himself and Christopher. "You look tired, maybe you should get some rest? W'nth and I can handle these terrors until Joyce comes to take over"

      "Is Grandma Joyce coming up?" piped up Christopher, the Monopoly game forgotten for the moment, happy to learn that one of his favourite people would be all his for a few hours later that day.

      "Yes she is, Little Mister Terror Number One and thanks Robin, I will. I think that Doyle and I both need some 'alone' time...you know...Seriously though, if this alarm keeps on going, I'm going to shove chopsticks down my ears"

      "Mom...what about Grandpa Graham...Mom...Mom...Mom..?" asked a hopeful voice. "Mom...Mom...Mom..."

      With a look between them, both Robin and Cordelia couldn't help but snicker at Christopher's nickname for the Joyce's much younger lover. As soon as Christopher had caught them both kissing one day, Graham had been relegated from being one of numerous Uncles to the much loftier perch of being a Grandpa. Something that was still a source of amusement for everyone in the hotel and it was something that Graham was more than happy to endure. As Christopher continued to repeat his pleas, Cordelia gritted her teeth and forced herself to take a firm but calm tone.

      "Christopher! Ok...ok...Quit it already would you? I'll ask him ok but just bear in mind he's busy and may not be able to come?"

      "Buuuuuttt Mmmmoooooommmm...wwwwwwhhhhhyyyyy?" grizzled the young boy as he realised he was guaranteed a lot more attention from Cordelia the more annoying he was. In an attempt to up the 'annoyment' stakes, he started to kick at the table leg closest to him, the repetitive thuds causing the Monopoly playing pieces to jump to the rhythm only to stop when Cordelia glared at him.

      "Don't be a prick, you know why", stated Robin in a calm voice as he handed Christopher his share of the money. At the young boy's startled look, Robin gave him a wink and gathered up the dice, ready to roll.

      "Ummmm...do you want me to rescue W'nth before I go?" asked Cordelia, sympathy welling up for the furred demon as a barely-heard yelp resounded through the room. With a small shake of her head, she was constantly astounded at how much W'nth put up with from the two toddlers. "Seriously Robin, you're going to have to tell W'nth not to let them bully him so much"

      "Oh I know but its his own fault if he lets them pull handfuls of hair off him...anyway, not as if he hasn't got lots to spare", snickered the youth as he watched one of the twins yank a small fistful of hair from W'nth’s spotted body, an action that produced another small yelp. "I don't think he really minds that much actually"

      "Oh my God! Tell me that it isn't a kink...Please...Just tell me?" demanded a slightly horrified Cordelia, poised to run over and rip the two girls from the obviously disgusting demon’s clutches, totally ignoring the fact that it was the girls who had the timid demon at their mercy and not the other way around.

      "Ummmm...Yuck no! Anyway, he's sort of molting so most is going to fall out sooner or later", confessed a shyly grinning Robin. "No way would I actually do that...wow, that's even too perverted for us Hellmouths Boys and we've done lots"

      "Yeah Mom...we've done lots and anyway...its only Dewar's that like that sort of thing....Gee, you really are silly at times", stated Christopher, a serious look on his face as he nodded to Robin’s words.

      "Uuuuhhh...gee..thanks Robin...and *thanks* again Christopher, now I'm never gonna get some rest with that running through my mind" shot back Cordelia, a little queasy over how easily both Robin and Christopher referred to their previous lives.

      With that, Cordelia turned and left the playroom, sadness welling up inside of her as she realised just how accepting Robin was of the last few years of his life. How Christopher knew that hair pulling was a Dewar's kink, she really didn't want to know. Trudging wearily down the third floor corridor towards her room, Cordelia stopped by one of the rooms and poked her head around the door frame.

      "Hey Leo...Leo...Oh no...Leo?"

      Entering the Asian youth’s room, Cordelia searched every corner of the room for the missing boy, berating herself for leaving Leo alone. Ever since arriving at the Hyperion, Leo had proved himself to be unpredictable in his actions and prone to going missing on a regular basis only to be found in a closet somewhere in the hotel. Harmless but something that continued to grate on everyone’s nerves especially when he decided to hide in a room that someone else had already claimed as their own. Unfortunately, there wasn't much they could do apart from putting up personal barriers on their rooms, something that they had already tried but discontinued after Leo had managed to learn everyone's passwords and Riley kept locking himself out of his room, much to his annoyance and displeasure.

      "Damn, I should know better by now", she muttered to herself as she strode over to one of the two in-built cupboards in the room, annoyed that no-one had thought to keep an eye on him. Gently, she pulled open the cupboard door and peered inside. When nothing was revealed, she went to the second one and pulled open the door.

      "No way...I can't believe it! Its...its..sweet and I am so gooey...Damn these pregnancy hormones"

      Curled into a tight ball on the floor of the small cupboard was Leo, fast asleep and oblivious to everything around him, a thumb just resting on his bottom lip. Smiling to herself, Cordelia edged closer towards the youth, intent on shaking him awake and getting him up off the floor and into bed. As she crouched down and leant in towards the lightly snoring youth, she frowned as she realised that there was something not quite right with the situation. Sitting up straight again, she paused for a moment before leaning back in.

      "Oh my God?" In mild shock, she leant back and forth a few more times as she was struck with the knowledge that the continuing alarm couldn't be heard from inside the small cupboard. "Good choice Leo...and for that...you can stay there! Well, I guess I know where I'm going to be sleeping for the next few hours"

      Getting up carefully, so as to not disturb the slumbering youth, she considered throwing a blanket over Leo before she left but decided not to after envisioning an hour long argument with the youth in which she would have to agree that she was letting him freeze to death but only after he accused her of trying to suffocate him. A shake of her head and she slowly closed the door, leaving it a fraction ajar to allow some fresh air to circulate through the small space.

      With a wide jaw-wrenching yawn, Cordelia stepped from the room and continued down towards her quarters. Passing the closed elevator doors, she wondered how Spike and Xander were going on the fourth floor, making a mental note to ask before she shut herself away in one of the bedroom closets for a few hours rest.

      "God - anything to just get away from the eff'n alarm...yuck, now I sound like that idiot Spike"

      Entering the room she shared with her fiancé, Doyle, Cordelia strode straight over to the intercom fixed on the wall and pushed the 'talk' button for the Hyperion’s lobby.

      //Yeah?//

      "Is that anyway to start a conversation Mr 'I'm ever so eloquent' Finn?"

      //Uhhh...sorry...Cordy?//

      "Uuuhhhh..yeah and duh! Oh...speaking of eloquent...how is Angel going trying to get Spike to let Xander pee?" asked Cordelia, trying to stifle another yawn.

      //Not good...Spike’s still all...you know...face ridges, fangs and frothing at the mouth..//

      "Really...frothing...are you for real?"

      //Ahhh no...Figure of speech but Angel’s still the only one who can get within arms reach of him.//

      "Hello...forgetting Xander here!" Cordelia snapped, her worry about Xander's safety escalating as Riley confirmed that Spike was still in the full throes of the Twilight Instructions, something that had now gone on for more than twenty-four hours.

      //I don't think Xander counts in this case...pretty much a given that Spike will allow Xander to be close to him//

      "Hey...Xander always counts....anyway...How is he?"

      //Well, considering Spike has him holed up in the elevator, not allowing him to move more than a few inches at a time and he's more than likely bored, tired and dying to pee.....he's just fine// came the rather sarcastic reply. //Cordelia...I know...Xander...always counts...everyone does ok?//

      "Hmmph. Yeah...I'm a little touchy when it comes to Xander...ok? But what Spike is doing is fine for now but what happens when Xander really...really needs to pee? What do we do...throw him a port-a-potty and a roll of toilet paper and hope that Spike doesn't 'kill' them before Xander uses them?" enquired a genuinely worried Cordelia.

      //I don't know but at least them being in the elevator is progress...you know? He's only settled on the elevator because the alarm can't be heard in there...Spike thinks it’s the safest place for Xander at the moment. Only took Angel two hours to convince Spike to start moving down the hallway.// Riley sighed.

      "What Angel did to Spike...it's worse than before isn't it? I mean...it's not working like he thought it would...its made Spike, if possible, nastier and more protective." stated Cordelia in an unusually soft voice.

      //What he did to Spike...again was just stupid. Damn it...he just can't leave well enough alone...you know? I know he wanted to try and fix what he did to Spike the first time but...sometimes...you just can't do that and all you do is make things worse. If W'nth hadn't been so...so timid then I really think Robin would be planning a funeral right now// growled Riley, still angry that Angel had had to finally come clean as to why Spike was so much more aggressive than before towards any threats to Xander's safety. Everything and everyone was considered a threat as far as Spike was currently concerned, even his 'best friend' Joyce had been taken as a threat to Xander. What really irked him though, was how Angel hadn't seen fit to inform everyone, bar Wesley, about his plans for Spike especially as to how it had ultimately put an innocent life in danger already.

      "God...I know. Some days...I feel like Angel just shouldn't be allowed near anyone...human or not. Yuck...yuck...I don't want to even think about it anymore. I'm tired, I want sleep and I want Wesley and Angel to clean that mess up in the training room properly...no way am I going to do it"

      //Actually, Angel's doing it by himself. Wes told him that Joyce needed help keeping an eye on Spike and went to take Xander some dinner and a book// admitted Riley, a slight humorous note colouring his reply as he thought back to Angel's lengthy pleading for someone to help him with the lawyers remains and the grotesque stain on the carpet. As Wes had stated, on everyone’s behalf, Angel had created the mess and therefore, only he was qualified to clean it up. Something that everyone, including a usually soft-hearted Joyce, had agreed upon before leaving Angel alone to his own devices.

      "Have they figured who is testing the wards or better yet, a way to tone down this alarm?" A rather loud yawn punctuated Cordelia’s words, prompting her to rub at her sleepy eyes.

      //No but good news...David has downloaded almost all of Lindsey's private files...and...the best bit...he's totally wiped out all the bank accounts and transferred the money into an untraceable account offshore somewhere. Damn...I tell you...that man is just...we're lucky to have him on our side, that’s all I can say.// Riley's tone brightened even more as he relayed the news to Cordelia, happy that at least something was going right for the group of friends for once. Now, thanks to David Nabbit and not in the least, Lindsay, the collected friends wouldn't have to worry about money for a little while.

      "Oh thank the PTB for David...hmmm...wonder if Doyle would share me with David....Mrs Cordelia Nabbit-Doyle...has a nice ring don't you think?"

      //Not really....Misters Francis and David Chase, husbands of one Cordelia Chase, is more your style I think and talking about your other half...we'll send him up in half hour or so...only a few more details to go over// Riley laughed, along with both Graham and Doyle as they listened in on the conversation. //Hang on...oh...ok. Doyle says he gets first dibs on David and you'll just have to wait your turn//

      "Ewwww...gross...like I really meant it...Hey, you're closer than me, just give husband number two a quick slap across the head for me...thaaaaahhhhhhhhwwwww...erk...that’s it...going to bed now"

      Taking her finger off the 'talk' button, Cordelia turned from the intercom and closed the bedroom door before starting to strip. Off came the scuffed runners and well worn but still white socks and off came the old track pants and thick sweater stained with canned baby food. With a slight grimace, she wondered just where the once fashionable Queen C has disappeared to. Her bra and panties coming off next and dropped onto the small pile of clothes on the floor next to the bed, Cordelia stood in front of the full length mirror on the back of the bedroom door, both hands gently stroking her still flat and toned stomach.

      In a moment of wonder, she forced her stomach out, wanting to know what she would look like in only a few months time. Sighing, she expelled the excess air and once again admired her toned body. If anything, she was more muscular and toned than she had been before her kidnapping to a winter wonderland. Hours, days and weeks of necessary hard work had put her into a level of prime fitness.

      The moment gone, she rubbed her tummy in a soft circle before walking over to the chest of drawers and pulling out a pair of pajamas and slipping into them. Pillow and thick comforter taken from the bed, Cordelia dragged the heavy load over to one of the cupboards and opened the door of what was her closet.

      "Too many shoes. Oh my God! I don't think I've ever said *that* before?" she exclaimed to herself in mild amazement.

      Kneeling down and leaning in to the small space, Cordelia gathered up her shoes and started to fling them out into the larger room, all the while trying to remember just when she had last worn anything that resembled a fashionable shoe. Almost too long for her to remember it seemed. No, actually the last time had been at Giles' wake and that was a memory better left untouched for now. Once the floor space was clear, she poked and shoved the comforter into the space before placing her pillow exactly where she wanted it.

      With a few wriggles, she snuggled into the warmth of the comforter, intent on ignoring the fact that the thick bed covering was doing nothing to disguise the hardness of the floor beneath her. Cordelia didn't really care, all she wanted was a few hours peace from the ongoing alarm and if this was what she had to do to get it...then she was going to do it. It was either this or try to convince Spike to let her into the elevator with Xander, something that she couldn't see anyone, let alone her, doing in the immediate future.

      Her eyes closed, she let her mind drift as she found herself on a bright sunny beach, building sandcastles with Buffy and oddly enough, a vampiric Harmony. As her breathing slowed down and deepened, Cordelia turned on her side in an effort to be more comfortable only to suddenly jerk awake with fright as something large and heavy crashed into her.

      "WHAT THE HE...?" screamed Cordelia, her fright turning into anger as she tried to push someone off her before managing to wriggle from under the dead weight. Thinking it might be Leo trying to push her out of her own rooms closet, she leapt to her feet and whirled back around to face the figure on the floor in a mere second. "FUCK YOU LEO, I'M NOT MOVI...Leo...Oh shit...oh shit!"

      Staring down at the unconscious figure on the floor, Cordelia realised that she had no idea of who it was. The intercom reached in record time, Cordelia simultaneously pushed all the buttons with a trembling hand and screeched into the system.

      "Angel...Angel...there's a man in my room...he's like, totally out of it but...how did he get in here...into the Hyperion?"

      Wolfram and Hart, Alpha Prime level

      March 9, 2002

      7.59 pm

      Hands wrung together in what he hoped was a convincing apologetic manner, Holland forced himself to keep a bright smile upon his face as he carefully stepped forward.

      "Yes...yes. I assure you, everything is still on track. No...Never. Tomas is still the best that Wolfram and Hart has ever had the good fortune to work with." Stifling the urge to just vomit and run, Holland felt his gorge rise even further as one of the Original Senior Partners brushed against him. Eyes screwed tight in a terror that he couldn't help, he forced himself to breathe slowly in an effort to calm himself down before he marked himself as a snack for one of the three monstrosities in the pitch black room with him.

      "Yes...I know. I know. It's so hard to be patient when you have waited this long but really, what are a few more weeks to...beings such as yourselves?" Slowly, he opened his eyes and concentrated his gaze directly in front of him, not being able to see even a hand span in front of him. A low rumbling growl from the left side of the room had Holland turn his head to where the sound has originated from.

      "No...no...I'm not lying to you...you know that. Why would I lie to you..? I'm just as anxious as you are to see you return to your homeworld." He found himself squawking in both fright and disgust as he sensed an impossibly large head coming towards him. How he knew, he didn't know but he could just tell and he really didn't want it coming any closer. Standing as still as he could, Holland felt a wave of relief wash over him when after a few loud and gusty sniffs at him, the 'youngest' Original Senior Partner moved its head away again. A weak shaky smile returning to his face, Holland waited for another question to be directed his way. Something that he hadn't had to wait long for.

      Upon hearing the question, Holland felt all last shreds of his false bravery fall away. "Y...yes. I am afraid of you...all of you."

      At the 'middle' Partners screeched prompt, Holland continued.

      "B-because I know that you will kill me before you go...so that no-one knows how or where to reach you...th-that’s why?" he answered, a short laugh ending his words. Holland’s mind spun, never had he ever been asked if he had been afraid or not. He had just always been given orders and like his numerous predecessors over the previous years, he had always followed them to the best of his ability. His answer caused the 'oldest' Partner to speak up and when it did, Holland wished that he had never been born.

      Standing stock still, Holland could do nothing but stare straight ahead at where he assumed the 'oldest' of the Original Senior Partners was while his head immediately began to ache as an earth shattering howl of denial was unleashed in his mind. A howl that conveyed all the fear, loathing, hatred, terror and horror that he had ever experienced, all forced into one single sound.

      A sound that continued as Holland drew his next breath to air his thanks. Summoning all the courage that he could currently muster and then some, Holland drew in deep gulps of the dank air that permeated through the pitch black room. With his heart racing almost out of control, he answered without even attempting a smile.

      "I...I am most assuredly honoured. Never...never would I have imagined that my reward would be so great. Thank you...thank you all so much"

      And with that answer, Holland knew he was staring his own insanity right in the face.

      Xander


      Ssshhhhhhhh.

      Be quiet.

      Mustn’t raise your voice. Keep your emotions in check. Make sure that you all act stiff and uncomfortable in my presence.

      Careful, don't frighten me. Remember, all those months of slavery must have reduced me into being unable to think for myself so just assume you know what’s best for me and don't worry about asking me what I want or need.

      Because if you don't ask then you don't have to hide the annoyance and pity as I manage to stutter out a sentence.

      Softly...softly with the questions, just make sure you give me one of those little 'hmmm' sounds at the end of each condescendingly asked query. You know...that little sound that everyone makes when asking a five year old how they managed to get a cut on their knee. Don't worry, I don't mind. I probably won't even notice it anyway, poor little thing that I am, I'm more than likely happy that I'm not being beaten and abused.

      So, a question here and there doesn't hurt....neither does the manner in which it's asked.

      Whenever I come into a room, ensure that all conversation stops while you look everywhere but at me. Clear your throats, look awkwardly at each other and then continue on with a totally different discussion. I never notice, I'm too busy reliving each moment of my own private hell....the one in which I was stuck while each one of you went on with your lives.

      Refrain from touching me at all times. Wouldn't want to give me the wrong impression, make it look like you wanted me to drop to my knees in front of you. I probably don't like to be touched anyway...would only serve to remind me of the brothels I've worked in....being hugged...given a manly slap across the back. Don't want to freak me out...make me nervous.

      Don't want me to make a scene and make you uncomfortable because you being uneasy around me would only make me feel worse. So, plaster a smile on your face each time you are around me and remember to talk softly. Remember to present a happy façade around me at all times, never let it look as if you also have problems of your own.

      If I'm not talking, then I obviously don't want to and no-one should push me to do so. If I wanted to talk, then I'm quite capable of opening a conversation of my own. Yes, I was trained not to speak until spoken to first but there is no reason for me to follow that rule now that I'm free. It's not like its something I'm compelled to obey at all times. Not as if I get flashbacks of certain aspects of punishment if I go to open my mouth to start a conversation. Ask a question.

      Careful...always be careful when showing affection to each other when there is a chance that I will see. It wouldn't be right to constantly remind me of what I lost so many years ago. If I do catch you, pull apart immediately, place your arms stiffly at your sides and make sure that you both look flushed, embarrassed and ashamed of having a former prostitute watch you. Just make your excuses and leave my presence as soon as possible after all, I will obviously be grateful in the end for you sparing me from being confronted with a normal relationship.

      You know...once being a prostitute, I'm a bit delicate like that and being a former slave, I don't think quite right anymore.

      Above all, always look at me with a mixture of pity and revulsion. Stare at me out of the corner of your eye and give a slight shake of the head whenever you think I'm not watching. Remember to find it creepy the way I move around the hotel quieter than any vampire could. Always talk about me when I'm in hearing range and ignore the fact that I may be able to hear you.

      Cringe in barely hidden embarrassment and horror whenever it looks like I might be on the verge of opening up to you. Just nod your head in a fast motion in the hopes of stalling the confession, better for me to save it for my therapist. Never ask if I'm comfortable with the therapist that you picked out for me...just go on assuming that I am. Don't worry about that tiny flicker of hurt that flashes across my face as you do so...I'm used to being hurt so I don't have 'normal' feelings anymore.

      Keep talking amongst yourselves about just how many types of demons I must have serviced over the years....no, I can't hear you...I'm only in the corner of the room. Sorry...I'm so quiet now, you've forgotten that I'm even there. My fault, not yours.

      I know the secret pervert in you all want to know the worst, the best and the most horrible things that I had to do in Sanity and The Eternal. You would all deny it but if I wrote it out, none of you would be able to put the piece of paper down due to your fascination. And as you read it, I know you would be thanking God that it was me and not you.

      That's right, I could only be deluding myself if I confessed that some nights, I truly enjoyed the time with my clients and hated to see them go. No, of course I never felt pleasure.....how can a whore ever be expected to enjoy itself?

      Yeah, I'm ecstatic that Spike is the only one who treats me like a human being...not some pathetic piece of shit that’s been rescued and has to be constantly pitied.

      I'm fine, the cold hard floor of the lift is just fine. I don't mind sitting here while he paces up and down snarling in full gameface and isolating me.

      I know that being kept in the dark about what is happening is for my own good. It's not as if I have the same basic rights that I used to have back when I was Xander and not Scott.

      These things would upset Xander but not me.

      Not Scott.

      Shhhhhhhh....

      Be afraid to be yourselves around me.

      Softly...quietly.

      Feel ashamed that I was the one who suffered and not you.

      Gentle...be gentle with me.

      Admit that you can't relate to me anymore and that you are unsure of how to even begin.

      It's alright, I don't mind.

      I just hate you all for it.

March 10, 2005

8.41 pm

     "God, I can't believe we're actually doing this. After everything that... that's gone on... it comes down to this" sniffled Joyce, raising a shaky hand to wipe at the tears flowing down her cheeks even as she leaned into the comfort offered by Graham’s arm around her shoulders. "No. It's always... always going to be no."

     "I know. I can't believe it either. I can't believe that it's so simple. Easy even." stated a grim-faced Cordelia from her perch on top of Doyle's knee. "I vote yes"

     "I'm with Joyce, I don't like this but he's got rights. He's done good you know?" Doyle added quietly as he absently rubbed Cordelia's thigh. "Before all this I woulda just said 'yeah, do it' and that would be it but now... I can't. I vote no."

     "Riley, Graham. What do you say?" asked Angel, as he turned from Cordelia and Doyle to look at them. Accepting their votes of yes, he sighed and looked towards Wesley. "Wes...?"

     "Angel, I honestly don't know. On one hand, I shudder at the very thought of this, I don't like it at all but... on the other, what other choice do we really have? This could be our only option because if there is another, I can't for the life of me, see it." replied a clearly upset and weary Wesley. Slowly rising to his feet from sitting on the couch next to Angel, he moved to the center of the library and faced the gathered friends. "This decision is going to have consequences no matter what we do. I know full well that Tomas is telling the truth, not only about how he got past the wards placed on the Hyperion and into Cordelia's room but with what he is telling us about the Original Senior Partners and the ritual he has been performing."

     Taking a moment to gather a breath as he saw that he had everyone's full attention, Wesley looked hard at each of the gathered friends, slightly dismayed by the hope he saw in their faces. Hope that he would figure another way out of the mess they now found themselves in. As he swept his gaze from Riley, Wes looked at his lover, a small sad smile settling across his face as he took in how hard Angel was trying not to let his stress get to him. Wesley certainly didn't envy his lover’s choice but in the end, it had to be Angel who drove a stake through Spike.

     "What is this going to do to Xander if Spike gets killed? This is really going to put his recovery right back to square number one... We have to think of him as well?" pleaded Joyce, her resolve to save Spike hardening as she watch Angel look at her briefly before dropping his gaze to the floor. "Remember how well he was doing be... before... ?"

     "Square number one? Joyce, I don't want to be cruel but Xander is so back to square number one it's not funny. Jeez, he's like back to square number minus one hundred! This is not going to make that big of a difference to his 'recovery'" snorted Cordelia, trying not to let the older woman's tears make her break down as well. Cordelia knew this was the right decision. It had to be. She was not going to think about the good of Xander's well-being. "And anyway, it's not like Xander even likes Spike anymore. God, have you even seen him talk to the moron since he's been back? It's like a total silent treatment. You all saw how fast he ran from Spike as soon as he was able to... as far as I'm concerned, if Xander no longer needs that bleached idiot then Spike is as good as gone."

     "I think you'll find that Xander ran to the bathroom, not from Spike" stated Graham, not quite ready to dismiss Spike as easily as Cordelia so obviously had, no matter what his vote may have been.

     "I don't care. The fact is that Xander ran in totally the opposite direction from Spike, who may I say is still in that weird coma or whatever and Xander has not said one thing about Spike going all 'grrrr' over him. And...and he hasn't even asked about how Spike is doing. There's like this whole frostiness on Xander's part going on, he's not all 'touchy-feely' like he was before."

     "Cordy... you saw Spike when he caught that sick fuck, Tomas', scent as we were bringing him up to the fourth floor. You saw him run out and try to defend Xander, going with the Twilight Instructions and keeping the danger away even when all he wanted was to run away. Shit, you saw him... and you heard him... I heard him... whimpering like an abused puppy. You know what he did. All that swearing, screaming... the pain he must of gone through just so he could zap himself out." snapped Doyle, on the verge of losing his temper. "As for Xander, when has 'Scott' been talking to anyone... huh? You know full fucking well that it was Spike and not that bloody therapist that got him as far as he was last time and if Xander doesn't wanna speak to Spike then just let it be... don't go making something outta nothing."

     "He is not Scott. Don't you call him that. He may still think of himself as... as... that... but here, with us, he is not Scott!" Cordelia replied, her voice dripping with ice. In one swift movement, she left Doyle's lap and promptly sat in the chair Wesley had recently vacated. "Don't you dare try to make me feel guilty for making the right choice and it isn't just nothing."

     "Fuck Cordelia, there is no right choice but we have to decide which is going to be the least wrong choice and I think offing Spike is the really wrong one." Doyle shot back, his anger coming to a head as he struggled to keep himself calm.

     "Doyle, Wes, Joyce... it's no longer just about Spike and Xander. What did Tomas tell us... the 'Souless One' has to be destroyed to stop the ritual. He told us that was the only way to prevent the completed ritual sending the Original Partners back to their home world." said Graham, not daring to look at his lover for fear of finding her angry with him. "And Doyle, you know what the PTB has been sending you visions of... you can't just ignore them."

     "I'm not ignoring them. Could not even if I wanted to, bloody pain demands all my attention besides, it's the clearest f'n vision I've ever had. Don't see why they can't do it every time, you know, lay it all out simple like they did this one." agreed the Irishman. "I know what they showed me, pretty hard to miss it really, heads still hurting from it. Showed the Original Partners goin' home, just about everyone who works at Wolfram and Hart dying from something, what I don't know but somehow, if that happens, the balance between good and evil is upset which is gonna lead to people being born who will plunge our world into something like the Dark Ages again but this time, only worse because everything and everyone will go 'KABOOM' and that’ll be the end of it all."

     "See? That's why Spike should just be staked now. It solves everything and it's easy. Angel, you've already killed one of your kids before so it's not like this is going to be hard for you or anything... you know, just plunge the wood in and... ?"

     "End it all?" prompted Angel, his visage twisting at the suggestion. "Mmmmm. Just like that?"

     "Well, yeah. Hell yeah, just like that. One good thrust and the world will be saved!" Cordelia replied, making plunging movements with one hand. Ignoring the scowls from the others in the room, she continued her reasons why Spike should be staked. "Angel, if you don't do it, then I will. I think you should just be a man and do it."

     "Cordelia, what about what Drusilla said? It wasn't her insane mutterings but the Oracles that spoke through her, it was predicted that Xander and Spike would be safe and, I hope, happy. Everything that she has said has come true and what if Spike's death somehow interferes with getting Willow back... I'm not saying it would but what if?" Joyce replied, looking earnestly at the younger woman, certain that if she kept pushing, Cordelia would be on her side of the camp very soon. "Do you really want to take that chance?"

     Doyle nodded along to Joyce's words, adding that was one reason he was so reluctant to kill Spike. He put it to the friends that if the Oracles had thought that the only option was Spike being killed, then they would have said so through the twice deceased Drusilla.

     "No, of course not but all that means is that we have to get Willow back before we off Spike. He's still dead as far as I'm concerned, well, deader that is. I think that we should make the deal with that weirdo Tomas and get his brother back. After all, thanks to the PTB and Doyle, we know where he is or at least where his body is. I mean, the vision showing the 'rain man' being buried pretty much says he's dead right?" admitted the brunette woman, annoyed that Joyce was starting to make her think twice about her decision.

     "Yes. I think that despite everything, Cordelia is right. Willow is our first priority and we could probably use her magic skills. I've had a thought, if we get rid of Spike, there is no guarantee that another 'Souless One' will be born sometime in the future. Better to have what you know close than risk this all happening again. Leaving the world’s future in less capable hands" stated Wesley. Letting the idea settle upon everyone for a few minutes, he turned slightly to one side so that he could guage Angel's reaction to his theory.

     "Angel, you haven't said much about this. Tell us?" asked Wesley gently.

     For a long moment, Angel sat quietly, his gaze on the floor before he rose slowly to his feet. Giving the crowded room a twisted half grimace, the vampire awkwardly cleared his throat and started to speak hesitantly.

     "I think its best if Spike is... dealt... with."

     "No! How can you do this... after all he's been through? Angel, you can't... you just can't do this him." pleaded Joyce, her tears flowing freely once again. "All that time you spent with him when he was so sick? You... you gave him your blood..."

     "Joyce, please unders-"

     Cutting Angel off, Joyce stunned the gathered friends with her next barely whispered words. "You lay one hand on him and you'll have me to deal with."

     Graham shivered as he heard his lover’s voice take on a tone that he had never heard before, the sheer iciness of Joyce's words lending weight to what she had just said. There was no doubt in his mind that Joyce would follow through on any threat that she made towards Angel, something that he knew would signify the end of any continuing friendship between those gathered in the library. "Joyce, I don't want to see Spike go either but you have to look at the big picture here. It's either the world or him?"

     "And what if there is an easier way out of all this? Hmmm, what then? What if we find it and it's too late for Spike?" Joyce questioned, all the while holding her gaze with Angel’s, determined not to give in. "We help Tomas get his brother back on the condition that he gets Willow and finds some other way of dismantling the spell. He's desperate for Ethan, you saw him, you know he'll do anything for his brother. Just by his coming to us proves that."

     Coughing a few times to clear his throat, Doyle turned his face towards Joyce's voice, regret etched clearly across his expression. His face flushing with both shame and embarrassment, Doyle spoke quietly "I... uh, I think I gotta go with Angel and the others on this. I'm so sorry Joyce, I really don't like this whole idea. Shit, I mean, I don't mind the bloke and he's a bit of all right at times and I know I said he's got rights and all that but I got three kids and another one coming to think of... you know? I'm sorry"

     "Sorry? Don't say sorry to me. Say it to Spike. Wait until he wakes up and say it to his face... don't wait until his funeral to say sorry. Oh, he's only Spike, a vampire. He's not a person so he doesn't get a funeral, he doesn't get a say in his own life." Her voice hitching, the older woman shoulders shook as she went on. "Why won't you all help me on this? Why? I know Spike has done some terrible things in the past but that's what it is... the past. Please... God, please help me? I can't..."

     "Joyce?" asked Angel, taking a few steps forward to be closer to his friend. Reaching her side, he awkwardly wrapped his arms around the stiff woman, one hand running up and down her back in a soothing manner until he felt her relax into his arms. "Joyce?"

     "I can't... he's a piece of her. You all are and I won't lose another piece of Buffy." sobbed Joyce, her words slightly muffled as she pressed her face into Angel's shoulder. "I know he hated Buffy, h..he used to tell me that all the time but th..that was ok because it was Spike saying it. He's meant to hate her and if he isn't here to remind me how much he hates her, th..th..then who will? Who's going to tell me?"

     "He tells you that?" demanded Riley, the grief from losing Buffy once again dredged to the surface. His jaw clenched from the effort not to give in to his own desire to shed tears, the ex-Initiative soldier stared at the carpet beneath his feet. "That bastard actually *says* that to you? How can you keep on defending him when he says shit like that? No respect, absolutely no respect for the dead has he?"

     "Whose going to tell me the truth about her battles? None of you can tell me what it was like to go up against her... only Spike and Angel can... and Angel doesn't want to tell me. Every time I've asked one of you to just tell me a little about what it was like for her to be a Slayer, you brush me off. You tell me that she did a great job, she was the best Slayer who ever lived. You've put her on such a high pedestal, I feel that I can no longer see her for what she was... my daughter. All I can see is a legend." admitted Joyce, her breath hitching even as Angel continued to rub a hand over her back. "Spike tells me everything not what you think I should hear. Usually it.. it's 'stupid bint this and bloody twat that' and I can barely stand to hear what he says about Buffy at times but he leaves nothing out and I've never asked him to either."

     "So? You should have asked us properly. Didn't it ever occur to you that he might just be feeding you a line of lies?" asked Riley, his gaze rising slowly from the floor to meet Joyce's as she barely managed to look over Angel’s shoulder. "You just said he has no respect for her. I can't believe you sit and talk about Buffy with him..."

     "I don't want to listen to someone pin a pair of wings on my daughter. I want the truth. With *nothing* left out and as for respect, Riley, I didn't say Spike had no respect for her because it's not true, he does."

     "Really and how do you know that?"      "Because every so often, admittedly rare, one of his stories end with Spike telling me how glad he was that the demon of that particular story wasn't the one to take Buffy down. That she deserved someone who would match her capabilities." Joyce sniffled wetly into the black knit pullover Angel was wearing, allowing a small smile to grace her face as she continued. "Even rarer still is when Spike admits that she is the best he has ever fought and it had only come down to sheer luck that he had gotten away. That he couldn't best her if it had come down it."

     Silence descended on the room, broken only by the sound of Cordelia's footsteps as she went to settled herself on Doyle's lap once again. No-one knew what to say about Joyce's admission, the gathering of friends feeling a little shocked and unsettled by her words. There was another hitch in Joyce's sobs as she gathered a breath to speak again.

     "Wh.. when Spike first came back, I..I had to tell him what had happened to everyone at the Magic Box. Had to fill in the blanks as he was a bit fuzzy. Spike told me the chip shorted out most of his memories of that night." taking a shaky breath, Joyce gently untangled herself from Angel's embrace and crossed over to the couch where Riley sat, still glaring at the carpet. With a little nod at Graham, she indicated for her lover to move across and make room for her by Riley's side. Squeezing between the two men, Joyce leant in close to Riley, putting an arm around his shoulder, refusing to let the tall blond shrug it off.

     "He didn't remember about B..Buffy, Tara or any of them so I had to tell him. You should have seen his face, Riley, he was so shocked. Spike told me that she didn't deserve to die that way... that she should have gone out in an even match, not by a coward’s hand..."

     Shifting slightly in his seat, Riley couldn't help but frown furiously as he felt the burning of his eyes get stronger. His gaze still concentrated on the floor between his feet, swallowed awkwardly as a thick lump rose in his throat. "He.. he said that?"

     "Yes he did."

"Really.. Spike said all that about Buffy?"

     "Yes. Not even an 'f'n slag' in hearing range either" Joyce replied softly, between hiccups. With a quick glance around the room, she couldn't help but give a short bark of laughter as she saw that everyone was purposefully not looking at Riley and herself.

     "He would never admit to saying that would he?" gulped Riley as he ground the heels of his palms into his eyes in the hopes of stemming a flow of tears.

     "Not a chance. Ever, and if you ask him, he'll just tell you to get stuffed anyway."

     "God! Way to make a girl feel guilty about wanting to save the world and stake a vampire!" protested Cordelia loudly, breaking the uncomfortable atmosphere that had descended on the room since Joyce's initial outburst.

     "You're not the only one!" mumbled Angel as he felt his ever present guilt get a rather hefty top-up. Running a hand over his face, Angel sank himself heavily into the vacated armchair once again, his earlier euphoria at having Tomas finally in his grasp was all but gone as he came to the reluctant conclusion that no matter what was decided between the group of friends regarding Spike’s future, there was the very real possibility of some friendships being lost for good. Catching Riley's eye for a moment, Angel couldn't help but give the other man a fleeting golden-eyed glower.

     It really was Riley's fault that the discussion was happening at all... and Angel's own idiot mouth. An angry Riley had confronted Angel about Lindsay's death, telling the vampire that he had had no right to go to such extremes without consulting the others beforehand, Angel striking back with a question of who was running the show. An argument had raged between them for almost an hour before Riley had shouted that he should have had the opportunity to be present for Lindsay's death, if not even been given leave to spend time alone with the deceased lawyer. Opportunities that Angel had taken as his natural right.

     Not wanting to admit that Riley had had a good point, and feeling just a little more guilty than usual, Angel had been unable to stop himself from snarkily suggesting that they take votes on the next up and coming death. A suggestion that had been immediately agreed on by an equally snarky Riley and a previously silently watching Graham and Joyce. Upon finding himself cornered, Angel had stomped over to the Lobby's main intercom switchboard and proceeded to inform everyone who hadn't heard the argument about the agreed upon results.

     And now, where had all this discussion got them today? Pretty much nowhere, tears and anger staining the atmosphere of the library. Just like any other meeting they usually had. Damn Riley, if he had just shut the hell up and let Angel do what was best, then Spike would have been a pile of dust and the world saved hours ago.

     With a low growl that he just managed to disguise with a heavy sigh, Angel was somewhat startled to see that the friends were silently looking towards him. "Uhhhh, what?"

     "Angel, I've just run through what everyone has agreed on but obviously I haven't done my job properly because you weren't listening... were you?" Wesley arched an eyebrow at his lover, a slightly sour expression on his face as he waited for Angel to reply.

     "Yes. Yes I was... ahhhh... but how about you run through it once more just to make sure we have got it all and there's no mistakes?" Angel smiled brilliantly at Wesley, studiously ignoring the snickering of his gathered friends as Wesley huffed in annoyance.

     "Fine. Now, just to make sure that we all understand what the plan is, I'll start again." stated Wes, glaring at Angel for a brief moment before turning his attention back to the group. "Number one, although we do have a confirmed solution to the PTB's predicament, it is... and I can't stress this enough really, Spike's death is a final solution. No Cordelia, you cannot just go right ahead and do it so don't even bother getting up, sit back down please and don't look at me like that."

     Secondly, we will accept Tomas' offer of help to get Willow back from the dimension in which she is currently situated in return for getting Tomas' brother back and his help in searching for another solution to ending this 'Soul of Blood' ritual. Thanks to the PTB, we can facilitate Doyle's vision of Ethan Rayne and some of Tomas' own blood to use as a beacon for locating Ethan while both Joyce and myself cast the spell in the wading pool. Angel, and I'm assuming that you are listening, Graham and Riley will go through the water wall to retrieve Ethan's body along with Doyle... "

     Interrupting Wesley, Doyle added that because that mornings vision had provided such a detailed account of all the various levels and rooms to the desert facility, if a starting point was described to him, then he was sure that he could get around by touch alone.

     "I know you say you're pretty confident about this but are you sure? I mean... ?"

     "Yeah Angel, I am. The whole thing is pretty much burned into my mind, its like the Powers That Be went all out on this one, I can tell you where every nook and cranny of the place is because its just there in my head... all in 3D living colour. And I wanna do this." Doyle turned his face towards where he thought each of his friends were sitting individually, hoping that his hearing had got it right even as a cold hard expression settled on his face. "I'm part of the team, I don't have a choice but to do this."

     "Well thank God you're going to give them all directions, seriously, remember how long Graham and Riley were lost in Walmart for a couple of weeks ago?" added Cordelia, laughing along with Joyce as the two women recalled having to get Walmart's customer service to call the two ex-soldiers to the Service Desk to locate them.

     "Mmmm. Thanks a lot for that one you two, nothing says ‘you're a mature adult’ like an over the air announcement that says your mother is waiting at the desk for you and if anyone recognizes the so called 'lost child', could they please escort them to the service desk." grumbled Graham good-naturedly, pleased that the practical joke played upon both him and Riley was now being proven useful at breaking up the remaining tension in the Hyperion’s library.

     "Yup, ditto to that." replied Riley, a broad grin gracing his face as he joined in the laughter. Risking a look at Angel, his laughter rose another notch as he took in the vampire’s slightly embarrassed look and realized that Wesley had more than likely been forced to pull the same stunt, and Angel hoped that Wesley didn't decide to bring that particular gem up at anytime soon. He caught Angel’s eye and with a tiny nod towards Wesley, he snorted loudly when Angel looked away sheepishly.

     "Yes... yes, hilarious." grinned Wesley, his former tense stance falling away into a more relaxed posture now that the last of the tension had been chased away. Purposefully not looking towards a vampire who was doing his best to become invisible, Wesley went on.

     "As I was saying, Doyle will be guiding you through the complex and I don't think I need to stress that time will be of the essence do I? Now, honestly, we just don't know how long the water wall actually lasts even if Joyce and I maintain physical contact. So, in and out as quickly as possible. Now, while that is happening, Tomas will be waiting in the training room with the rest of us for you all to get back.

     Now, thirdly, once everything is done and providing we all get through this fairly unscathed... Angel, listen... we have decided that you must do something about Spike and these Twilight Instructions. I know that it is essentially a Sire/Childe issue but what happened with W'nth, and to a lesser degree the rest of us, can't be allowed to happen again."

     Angel sat silently, taking in the words. As much as he hated to admit it, he wasn't sure that he could do anything about the Twilight Instructions but he knew that even though Spike had a chip that was supposed to stop him hurting humans, everyone was worried for their physical safety. And Angel knew that they had valid point especially as while in the full throes of the Instructions, Spike had managed to not only attack one of the black clad mercenaries at the Magic Box but had also injured Wesley by pushing him down the stairs of the Hyperion. Something that could have had fatal consequences if luck hadn't been on Wesley's side that day.

     A little puzzled by the fact that he didn't think they had gone through this particular topic during the meeting, Angel thought that even with his minor zone out before he would have picked up on the words 'Twilight Instructions', if not the name Spike. Clearing his throat, he raised his suspicions. "You're right, this is a Sire/Childe issue and I don't remember having this discussion before."

     "We talked about it before you came up... you know, the whole what to do with the bleached and might I add *still* unconscious creep upstairs routine. I vote we just stake him and be done with it as soon as Willow is back, whose with me?" declared Cordelia, repeatedly elbowing Doyle in the ribs in an effort to get him to agree. "You agree with me, don't you Honey?"

     "Ooof. No. Ouch. Stop it."

     "Oh yeah, kinda forgot that you'll say yes now and in five minutes time it'll be no and then yes again.. should I go on?"

     "Ow.. shit Cordy, stop will you? I know what I said before but I mean it this time... so no" said Doyle, grabbing and holding onto Cordelia's arm mid sentence. "But Angel, Wes is right. You have to do something about Spike. It's dangerous... he's dangerous even with the chip, especially with Xander being around. Can't you just go back into his head and fiddle around a bit more?"

     "ARE YOU NUTS?" shrieked Cordelia, wrenching her arm away from Doyle's grip and slapping him across the upper arm. "Like, Oh my God! You know that Angel is just gonna stuff up and make it worse... the proof that he messed it all up the second time is on the floor upstairs."

     "He's on the bed and thanks Cordelia, I really appreciate the vote of confidence." replied a surly Angel, his good mood quickly disappearing into the beginnings of a major brood. A sudden tiredness came across him as he went on. "You're right. I admit it, you are. It worked to a degree last time only in the fact that he is now more responsive of the Sire/Childe bond but as for the rest... you're right."

     Silence drifted down on the library, everyone feeling tension start to build up once again as they digested Angel's confession.

     Looking around at the worried faces of his friends, Angel's gaze came to rest on Wesley, the vampire silently pleading for his lover to help him. He shifted to the side as much as he could as Wesley limped across the room and perched himself on the chair’s arm. Angel took a small comfort in Wesley's close presence and the instant Wesley laid a warm hand on his lower arm, Angel felt more relaxed. Holding Wesley's gaze, Angel spoke with a whisper, "I thought... you know... I did?"

     "Thought you were doing the right thing? Making things a little safer for Xander?" prompted Wes in an equally soft voice.

     With a small nod, Angel unconsciously rubbed his larger hand over Wesley’s. "I didn't know that this would happen, that he would be so aggressive."

     "Neither of us did. We didn't know and it's as simple as that. All that matters is that you had the best intentions at heart." smiled Wesley, realizing that through Joyce's talents, everyone else in the room had heard his part of the exchange. "It's something that we can deal with later. Joyce and I have done a great job on the seals to his room. Double bonded so that he can't get out and that you are the only one who can get in."

     "That's right, he can't get out until they are lifted and yes, we've also done both the closets and bathroom. Treated them as separate rooms so they have a complete set of seals on them as well." added Joyce once Wesley was silent. "I don't want there to be any chance of Tomas getting his hands on Spike again."

     Everyone immediately agreed with Joyce's words, heads nodding and more than one person shuddering at the memories of seeing Spike immediately after being rescued from Tomas' workroom.

     "Speaking of Tomas, how's Spike gonna be now that they're both under the same roof?" questioned Doyle, prompting a heavy sigh from Angel.

     "I'll have to talk to him as soon as he's awa... "

     A crackle of static from the rooms intercom cut off the vampires words, the anxiety and fear staining the words that followed worrying Angel to his very core.

     //Angel? Angel... Sire?//

     Jerking himself out of the seat fast enough to displace Wesley, Angel was startled to realize that no one else had heard Spike, everyone asking who it had been on the intercom and shrugging their shoulders as it was put down to either Christopher or Leo playing around.

     "Angel, are you all right?" queried Wesley, looking oddly at him.

     "Oh yeah, fine Wes. Uh, just going upstairs to check on Spike, see if he's awake and hungry." answered Angel, noting somewhat distractedly that everyone else was following his lead, getting up and stretching stiff limbs in a clear indication that the meeting was over. "He should be awake by now."

     "And knowing Spike, more than a little annoyed at being locked in his room?"

     "You know it."

     "Angel?"

     "What Wes?"

     "Tomas... tread delicately. Not that Spike would ever tell us, especially me, but he has been terribly affected by this and I suspect that he will be for very long time after this is over." stated Wesley gently, glancing at Joyce for a brief moment as she recited his words to the rest of the friends as they passed through the library doorway. "The herbs."

     "Tip of the iceberg." nodded Angel. "It won't be a civilized talk, with Spike it never is but I'll do my best."

     Angel leaned in close to Wesley, breathing in the calming scent of his lover. Pressing his lips gently to Wesley's, he allowed the kiss to deepen, Wesley teasing him by flicking his tongue gently between the cooler lips while Angel wished he could shut the rest of the world out and envelope himself in such comfort forever. All too soon, Wesley drew away, muttering something about checking the wards on the rest of the Hyperion's rooms.

     He watched Wesley pass through the library doors and stood silently as he wondered how he was going to get Spike to accept the deal that had been made with Tomas when his Childe had every right to demand that Angel fulfill his Sire duties, for Angel to destroy what had hurt Spike when he so obviously couldn't himself. Shaking his head, Angel strode through the doorway, into the corridor and started up the steps.

     //Poof... Angel? Sire?//

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