Merely a Possession

by
T J Goldstein

Part 3
Road to Recovery 1

     Two months after the rescue.

     Rolling out of bed, the blond vampire quickly made his way across the hall and into Xanders room. He swore to himself as he saw what was causing the banging sounds from the dimly lit room. The brunette was huddled into one corner of his bed, smacking his head into the wall repeatedly.

     Gently, Spike inserted himself between the youth and the wall, Xander still trying to bang his head. Shushing noises filled the room as the dark head showed signs of slowing down the assault on the vampires chest. The boy was still asleep but suffering from a deep nightmare, the first of many that arose each night without fail.

     As Xander stopped his actions in total, drifting into a dreamless sleep, Spike lay the male back under the bed covers. He moved to the far end of the bed as the youth curled himself into the fetal position. The bleached blond sat with crossed legs, waiting to ride out another nightmare. It had been a hard day, a temper tantrum from Christopher that had left Cordelia upset and Xander's physical from the doctor had resulted in news that no body had wanted to hear.

     The youth was going to have to have surgery to repair the over used muscles. Being constantly used had resulted in his not having total control over his bowels, he knew when he needed to go but if he didn't get to a bathroom within a few minutes of the first sign, he had an accident. It had humiliated the boy to learn that yet another invasive procedure would be his only option, resulting in his retreating to his room for the rest of the day.

     With a sigh, Spike thought that since the moment the six males had entered the Hyperion, everyones life had taken a turn for the harder route. Everything had been fine until Clark had woken up, he had agreed to what he could to restore the boys to their original images. Four of the youths, including Xander had been restored without a problem. They were all looking the same age as the day they were taken, Clark hadn't been able to tell the four magic users why and had known nothing about what the jewellery functioned as apart from as a storage for the original images. The silver necklaces and bracelets had so far been unable to be taken off, no amount of sawing or spell casting had made a difference. The African-American lad, Jonathan or Theo as was his real name, had been stuck with slightly darker skin than what his original was. A small price to pay, he had said, for being free.

     Christopher had been a shock to everybody, he was actually not a ten year old but a 33 year old that still looked like he was 18. Unfortunately with all the constant glamour placed on his body to be made into a young boy, he had kept reverting from his teenager body into a child, no matter how many times Clark had tried to reverse the glamour. Finally, Christopher had been stuck in a child's body, his mind reverting back to fit his body. He had eventually taken a shine to Cordelia and Doyle, shadowing the couple like a puppy. As much as everyone was trying to treat him like an adult, after two months of being stuck in the child's body, the man was unable to think beyond Sesame street and the Cartoon Channel.

     Willow, Tara, Wesley and Giles had put it down to misuse of powerful magic, a reminder for all to be careful in the future when dealing in the art. The first few days had been full of the former prostitutes shrieking for Randall and an Adam to help them whenever another person entered their rooms, Xander included, eventually it had taken a couple of weeks for the boys to calm down and accept that they had been moved from Eternal and longer for them to accept that they were now free. During those weeks, they had re learnt what a female was, none of them had seen a female from the day they had woken in the brothel. It wasn't that they were afraid of them, they just weren't used to them being anywhere but in a dream.

     All the males, bar Christopher, had been sick almost constantly with colds, coughs and various sniffles since being rescued. None of them could remember being sick while in Eternal. Clark had told the group of rescuers that none of them had been allowed out and since they had rarely serviced humans, their immune system would be down for a long time. The doctor that visited almost everyday, had confirmed the theory. Each time the boys were visited by one of the Scooby gang or L.A. team, they were exposed to a multitude of infections and viruses and their weakened immune systems were grabbing at all they could.

     Angel had found all the families for the males except for Christopher and had informed them that their sons had been kidnapped by a cult. Robin (Andrew) had been picked up by his younger sister, shocked at first that she looked older than him. She was two years younger than him and had been 14 when her older brother had just disappeared from a party one night. She had accepted Angels explanation of various experimental drug use leading to the delayed age development, Robin still looked 16 years old. After being in Eternal for four and a half years, he should have been looking his age of 20 years. It had been a horrifying moment for the rescuers when they had realised that each one of the former prostitutes had been born in Sunnydale, living there for all of their lives. They were still working on the question of why, Clark had been unable to help them with that as well, even after the truth spell had been performed on him.

     Theo had been at Eternal since the day it had opened, over six years ago. He looked older than the rest, around 18, but he should actually have been 24 years. Two weeks after he had been picked up by his widowed mother, he had committed suicide. His mother had phoned them three weeks later, telling Cordelia that although her reunited time with her son had been short, the L.A. team would forever be in her prayers for finding him.

     It had taken an all day debate between the L.A. of whether they should tell Xander. Eventually, Doyle had quietly told the brunette what had happened to his former work mate. So far, the youth hadn't said much about it, shrugging when told of the news. Not unusual, his therapist had said. The brunette wasn't used to being able to show his feelings and it would take a long time for him to do so.

     Jason's (Patrick) family hadn't wanted anything to do with him, stating that it was all his own fault. Apparently he had been a terror as a teenager and the family had washed their hands of him early on, the cult story had made no difference to their feelings. Dr Sawyer had been forced to arrange alternative housing for the distressed youth, he had refused point blank to stay in L.A or go back to Sunnydale. Jason had been put in the care of a Christian Hostel, last week he had phoned to say thank you to the L.A. team and had told them that he was having daily therapy with one of the priests who was in 'the know' about certain things.

     Todd (Mathew) had been taken back to Sunnydale around the same time as Robin. They were both doing well so far, living only a ten minute drive from each other. Both boys looked around the same age and since Angel had spun the cult story to both their families, they were able to lean on each other. The Scooby gang checked on them every few days to make sure that they were alright but mainly to keep track of them. Doctor Sawyer had warned the rescuers that the boys would probably continue to consider all male demons to be potential clients until the conditioning was able to be reversed. Giles had taken to seeing them once a week each in an effort to get them afraid of demons again, especially vampires. So far, the therapy was going well but Giles' meetings with the boys was proving to be tougher.

     Xander had refused to go back to Sunnydale much to the Scooby's regret. After being told about Anya and Gunn, he had stated that there was nothing left for him. He was afraid that he would be caught again if returned to the Hellmouth. Giles had offered for him to live at his house but the offer had been turned down flat. Angel had told the brunette that he was welcome to stay as long as he wanted. Christopher looked like staying for a while longer as well, the brunette vampire was having no luck in trying to get the young lad to tell him where he used to live. He had eventually taken a room near Cordelia and Doyle, he was still having fits of crying and screaming almost every night but they were starting to get shorter much to everyones relief.

     Spike was snapped out of his thoughts by a tossing and turning youth. A hand reached out, the blond softly stroked a restless leg. Xander claimed to know nothing about his nightmares in the mornings and the vampire knew it was true. The youth would have been upset to know that he was being touched, even if it was done in comfort. The brunette would smile at whoever was doing it but his eyes would betray his feelings. He wouldn't allow Cordelia to get near him physically but they would chatter quietly together when Xander was feeling sociable. The boy had gone from being almost hyperactive to being so quiet that one almost forgot that he was in the room. He had developed a stutter that dotted itself throughout his speech. Whenever someone he didn't know came into a room he was in, he promptly left, refusing all attempts to engage in conversation.

     It had taken his therapist four visits to the hotel before Xander had stuttered out a hello. Angel's friend Kate had organised the visits in an apology for not being able to track down Eternal's owner, Randall Hargraves before he had disappeared. While she had been trying to do that, the brothel had been blown up, killing one detective and wounding two others before it had been thoroughly picked through by the police. It was being investigated as an inside job, carried out by one of the cops themselves.

     Xander saw Mrs Neal three times a week, for two hours each session. She had had to stop the home visits when it had become clear that the brunette was only too happy to become a recluse and never step foot outside the Hyperion again. The recovering youth would only visit Mrs Neal, Dr Sawyer and ventured to the library with Wesley. The friends thought that they were lucky he was doing that much, Robin was housebound by agoraphobia that had him collapsing at the front door at times. Todd was alright about venturing outside and liked to visit the other male but was prone to bed wetting and bouts of nausea.

     "Big day tomorrow pet, make you all better" whispered Spike, continuing to stroke the settled down youth. Xander was being admitted to the hospital in the morning for the operation to repair his anal muscles. The blonde was feeling a slight worry about how the brunette was going to cope with being away from everyone for a night. Surprisingly it was pretty simple surgery, they cut out some of the looser excess muscle and just shortened the remaining length. He only had to be in hospital overnight.

     Spike had no idea of why he was feeling protective towards the brunette, he had a slight feeling that it was due to the fact that Xander reminded him of Dru, used and damaged goods. Being with the youth was as close to her he was able to get these days. His Sire had told him since he usually refused to help fighting with any demons from Doyle's visions, the blond could remain behind as long as he kept an eye on both Xander and Christopher. At first he had whinged and thrown a tantrum a two year old would be proud of, after it had been expected of him for a few times, he was used to it. As long as Christopher was watching tv or colouring in his latest picture book, he never was a problem. Xander just sat quietly and either watched tv or read a book. Spike thought that he had the better deal, he got blood, fags and booze for doing basically nothing according to his Sire.

     Angel knew about how Spike dealt with Xander's nightmares but had refrained from telling the boy for fear of upsetting him more. Instead the brunette vampire had told Mrs Neal who had promised to bring the subject up in a session soon.

     Looking at the boys twitching face, he listened as the small moans started. Moving closer, Spike got ready to hold the dark head gently as Xander made a few violent jerks. Each time was the same, first twitching and moaning, violent jerking for a few minutes and then it progressed to head banging. Spike wished he could spend just one minute in a room alone with Clark and Randall, should he be found. The greasy lobby jockey was behind bars after being identified in a few of the tapes as having sex with Christopher as a child. Thankfully the tapes had been enough to incriminate the man. There had been a few other boys in the tapes but they had been untraceable. Spike suspected that Christopher wasn't the only one to have been glamoured into a child.

     With a sigh, he stroked at the soft dark hair and wondered if Angel would let him stay at the hospital for a few hours.

Cordelia

     Xander watched as the last wisps of Cordelia's hair disappeared through the doorway. With a noisy swallow, he realised that for the first time since being rescued, he was completely separated from his friends. He could deal with this. It was only overnight and both Wesley and Angel had promised to come by that night to visit. The brunette wished that the young woman had been able to stay until he was ready to go into surgery but she had to get Christopher to his therapy session. Mrs Neal was going to try light hypnosis on the child/man in an attempt to learn where he used to live.

     Maybe she would be back soon and even bring the little blond with her? A glance around the small one bed room and Xander felt his heartbeat accelerate. It was white with trimmings of a light pumpkin that did nothing to remove the cold sterility. Pumpkin, orange, yellow, butternut, amber. He hated any colour that could be linked to orange but here he was, in a room with the fucking colour. Again.

     Orange.

     Pumpkin.

     Stomach heaving, he lurched from the bed and headed towards the open bathroom door. Without turning on the light, he tripped while trying to kneel in front of the porcelain bowl. A loud grunt echoed around the darkened room as his head connected with the cool tiles. His stomach continued to roil wildly, threatening to empty itself upon the white floor. The brunette knew there was nothing to throw up as he had not eaten since lunch the day before but obviously his stomach hadn't caught on yet.

     "C..c..cordelia?"

     He lay on the smooth tiles, curled up onto his right side. Head aching from the blow, he wanted to go back to the hotel. The frightened brunette could feel tears welling, his throat grew sore and heavy as he tried to stop them flowing.

     "Ang..g.g.gel, please c..come and get m..m.me"

     Xander knew Cordelia had to drive him to the hospital that morning because the three men were off doing the good work for the PTB and that left Spike with Christopher. He knew that but he couldn't stop himself from asking everybody he knew to come and get him. Buffy, Joyce, Giles, everyone from Sunnydale and L.A.

     The distressed youth rocked himself, not noticing the cold seeping into his limbs as the minutes passes. All he knew as that he was alone, in a dimly lit room and had a terrible headache.

     "Please, I..I don't want b..b..be here anymore. H..home, please?"

     Nobody was going to hear him. They didn't last time so why would they now? Still, the whispered pleadings started to get louder as the tears flowed full force. Throat hitching with every breathe, he tried to ignore his rebellious stomach. Dry retching, he continued to call for someone to come and get him. He wanted to go home but he was unsure of where it was anymore. Sunnydale had ceased to be his home the day he had been kidnapped. The Hyperion was just a hotel, his room belonging to Angel. An image of a soft orange room started to form in his hurting mind, the word 'home' hanging over head of it.

     The Eternal, his personal room all decorated in orange. That was home. It was the only thing he could think of. Xander started to gasp in long shuddering breathes as he realised that he couldn't even go back to that horrible little room. There was nothing left of the Eternal after the explosion. He truly had nowhere to call home. Finally his stomach managed to hurl its acrid contents onto the cool tiles, stinging his eyes. Bitter strands of bile coated the weeping boy's chin as he proceeded to curl himself up into a tight ball.

     "S..s..s.spike, home?"

     His tired mind dimly remembered hugging the blonde vampire a few months ago because he had wanted to feel 'home' for a minute. It seemed to fit though, Spike and the word home. Comfortable, he had felt that way while being clasped in the smaller mans arms. For the first time in years, he had been able to relax into an embrace without expecting to have to do something in return. Over and over, he recited his new mantra.

     "Spikehomespikehomes..spikehomespikeh..h.homespikehome"

     Xander didn't hear his door open nor did he hear the chirpy voice of his assigned nurse.

     "Hello? Hello Mr Harris, are you in the bathroom?"

     A quick glance around the small room and the white clad woman squeaked her way towards the dark room. Melanie was sure she could hear something from the bathroom. It sounded like someone chanting. She was just going to take a little peek, didn't want to distract the patient if he was giving prayer to whatever diety was being worshipped. Arms held tight to her chest, the slim asian girl poked her head around the doorway and was surprised to see her patient on the floor.

     "Mr Harris, are you alright? Did you fall or something, are you hurt?" inquired the trainee nurse. This was her second week in the ward and all she was supposed to do was make sure the patients wore the allocated paper gowns, didn't eat or drink before surgery and had filled out the correct forms. She wasn't sure what to do. Taking a step forward, she tried to make out the fast chant coming from the shivering male. Spike something? Sparkharm? She wasn't sure but she had never heard a chant like that before. Knowing her luck, she had obviously been stuck with a looney, a homo one at that as well. She had read the chart hanging off the bed and had asked one of the older nurses what the operation was before joining in the collective 'ick' at the thought of two men doing that. This one would not be going to Paradise when his time came that was for sure.

     "Mr Harris, come on. Lets get you into the gown and into bed before the doctor comes ok?"

     Another step forward and she bent down next to the chanting male. Melanie really didn't want to touch him but she needed to in order to get him up. A hand reached out and she gently shook the firm shoulder.

     "Spikehomespikeh..h.homespikehome....Spike?"

     "No Mr Harris, my name is Melanie and I need to get you into your gown, so how about we get up?"

     "D..d.d.don't touch me!"

     Xander froze upon the cool tiles, heart beating rapidly as the unfamiliar woman tried to hoist him to his feet. He tried again to ask the nurse not to touch him but it was ignored as she chattered on about getting ready for surgery. At the mere mention, the brunette felt his stomach clench and he dry retched. The dried tears threatened to flow again as he requested once more for the nurse not to touch him.

     "DON'T T..T..TOUCH M.ME!"

     Melanie sighed as the bellow richoted off the tiled walls, her mother had warned her that life would be difficult once out of the small country town but she had been so sure that nursing would be her life. Now, she was thinking that her mother had been right all along. With one hand still clasped around the upper arm, she gave an almighty tug.

     "Aaaaaahhhhhh!"

     The nurse winced as the high pitched scream almost pierced her ears. She would have to go and get help, this one was being just plain stupid. Dropping the shaking limb, she walked over to the door and flicked on the light switch. With a glance at the brunette male huddled on the floor, she was shocked to see blood on his temple. The young man looked like a scared wounded animal, all big eyed and cringing away from her.

     "Oh no! I'm so sorry Mr Harris. I'll just go and get another nurse"

     The youth stared into space, not even registering that the young girl had left. He had been touched. She had touched him.

     "Spike, p..please come a..a.and get me"

     He wanted home. Curling back up into a ball, he resumed his mantra. He didn't take any notice when two figures appeared in the doorway, only letting out a wild scream as his shoulder was touched again. The brunette patient thrashed and kicked at the hands that grabbed at him, all the time shrieking for them not to touch him.

     The blond made his way up the brightly lit emergency stair case, heading to floor four. He was anxious to find out why he had been called to the hospital. Spike knew that it was too soon for the surgery to be over and hoped that nothing had gone wrong during the procedure. The nurse who had phoned had only told him to come straightaway. The vampire had a really bad feeling that something was way off with the brunette.

     Finally reaching the fourth floor exit door, he pushed the heavy door open and entered a busy corridor. With a casual glance at the action that surrounded him, he quickly strode forward towards ward 7 and the nurses station. He banged hard on the glass partition to catch the giggling nurses attention, startling all four of them and causing them to blush. He ignored the hastily stashed magazine that was slammed into a drawer, growing impatient to know why his presence had been required. Snapping out a request to see Damien, he was told to wait for a moment.

     "Look, what's wrong with Harris. He came in here for a simple operation, now what's happened?"

     At the snarled question, the dark skinned male nurse informed the vampire that the brunette might not be able to have able to have the operation that day due to him being unstable, his allotted time having been moved to last on the list. Spike demanded to know exactly what 'unstable' meant. He had to force himself not to vamp out when the answer revealed that Xander had assaulted two nurses, injuring them both. The blond was stunned by the words, there was no way the timid youth would lash out at someone. Not now, not the way he hated anybody to touch him.

     "What the fuck do you want me to do? What the hell did you arseholes do to him?"

     Spike wanted a fag really bad, he was trying to imagine the brunette hitting someone and nothing was coming to mind. He demanded to see Xander and after arguing with the nurse, he was told that the youth had to be taken home anyway if he didn't calm down soon. Following the nurse, he walked down the corridor while dodging the random shards of sunlight that decorated the vinyl floor. Thank fuck for the muslims and burqua's he thought. He had taken off the black head to toe covering when he had reached the saftey of the emergency staircase. The two vampires only wore the black shroud like covering when it was absolutely necessary. The thick material offered them a temporary cover from the sun and when combined with the strongest sunscreen and long black gloves, the vampires only experienced an intense heat when out in the sun. They could only spend around twenty minutes in the sun before they started to smoke and the heat became too painful to bear.

     It was this simple covering that had enabled Spike to get to the hospital so quickly, arriving by the sewer system would have taken him just under an hour. As soon as he had hung up the phone, he had smothered himself with a thick layer of Ultra Plus sunscreen, making sure to cover every inch of his face, neck and hands. Once done, he had quickly thrown on a long sleeved high neck top and long black gloves. The finishing touch had been to drape the large black sheet over his head and let the hem fall to the floor, almost covering his Docs. Grabbing the petty cash tin Angel thought he had hidden away, Spike gave it a few hard smacks against the hotel foyer floor and relieved from the tin all of its contents, $138.55.

     Dashing out of the doors, he had run down the street as fast as possible, ignoring the instant burn from the sun in order to get a taxi. He had wanted to get as close to the main doors as possible, taking his car meant that he would have had to park at the far end of the carpark or have it towed away after parking closer to the entrance. The taxi ride had only taken him 10 minutes, dropping him off to one side of the hospital after getting stuck in a long line of cars that was attempting to get a car park. The vampire had started to run towards the large glass doors when he had spied the emergency exit and had taken them instead.

     Damien stopped just outside room 23, making a move to push past the taller man, the blond was stopped from going in by a few words.

     "We had to restrain him, don't be alarmed by the cuffs. It's just so he won't hurt himself...wha..oh shit!"

     Spike sneered as the dark nurse ran down the hallway, game face in full view. With a hard shove, he pushed the door open and took in the sight that greeted him in the dim room.

     "Jesus!"

     Xander was crying, tears running down his face. He was laying flat on his back with both wrists and ankles strapped to the raised bed rail. His head was weakly thrashing from side to side as he softly moaned with each breathe.

     "Pet, pet I'm here now. It's alright"

     The vampire shivered and took a step backwards as the brunette opened his eyes and stared towards him, it was Dru looking straight back at him. The large wounded seal eyes were full of misery, the youths face was wearing the most horrible smile he had ever seen and there was a cut on his temple.

     "Ssspiiiike?"

     With a snarl, the blond realised that Xander had been drugged, probably in an effort to calm him down enough so that he could be strapped down onto the bed. A few steps forward took him to the bed's edge, seconds later all the straps were undone and the vampire was sitting on the bed as the brunette curled into a tight fetal position. Spike wanted to pet at the boy just like he had with Drusilla when she had gotten distressed like this but he refrained, knowing that it would only make things worse. He shoved the black bundle he had been holding onto one of the two visitors chairs, shuddering when he heard the boy start to sob louder.

     "H..hooome, pleeaaase"

     Spike was furious, how this could happen when the brunette had only come in for a single operation and an overnight stay, he had no idea but was determined to find out. He couldn't call the office bint as she was at therapy with Whelp Junior, he would have to call Angel down to deal with the staff. Hopefully the other three men were done dealing with the current demon crisis. Pulling the rooms phone over closer, he dialed the switchboard and got them to connect him through to his Sire's mobile. Once connected, the bleached blond snarled at the older vampire to get himself to the hospital straight away and to bring the others with him. Phone slammed down, the vampire had no intention of moving from the pleading boy's side. Xander was weeping and begging to go home, his stutter more slurred and slower due to the drugs he had been given.

     'Bloody fuck Sire, get here soon. What the hell else can go wrong for this brat?"

     Head shaken, Spike prepared himself for the fireworks that were sure to happen once Angel found out what had happened to the timid lad. If there was still a chance that the youth could go for surgery that day, then the vampire wasn't going to move the boy. He needed the operation and it was best to get it over and done with. Putting it off would only distress the boy when he had to go back into hospital again. The vampire was unable to enjoy the youths misery, had it been a few years earlier and in Sunnydale, he would have laughed himself stupid at how miserable the young man was. Ever since rescuing the boy and then taking the time to stop the male hurting himself while he slept, Spike had found that whenever he thought of Dru, Xander's image was lurking in the background.

     Sighing, the blond listened as the pleading got quieter. While he waited for his Sire to turn up, he wondered how badly this incident would scar the fragile mind.

     25 July, 2004

     With the tv flicked off, the grey haired man hefted himself out of the cool leather armchair. He strode over to the little bar area set up in one corner of the large guestroom. Pouring himself another bourbon, Randall was pleased with the results of the police invesigation into the Eternal. Apart from the incriminating video tapes of Clark with Christopher and the other glamoured whores, there was so far nothing that could be pinned on him.

     The annoying blonde detective had been thrown off his track by finding a badly decomposed corpse that had been shot through the head twice, making it look like a business deal gone bad. Wolfram and Hart had arranged the whole thing, right down to the corpse having the same dental records as Randall. As far as anyone knew, Randall Hargraves had been murdered by a business associate. The lawyer he dealt with most, Lindsey, had managed to somehow make documents appear that made Eternal look like it was going under due to bad investments and murky underworld dealings. Mr McDonnell had persuaded one of Randall's old staff members to turn himself in as the mystery bomber after wafting a tempter of almost two million dollars to do so. The man had pleaded guilty to the bomb and went to jail for a minimum of 6 years. Unfortunatly, Kirk had been bashed to death two weeks into the sentence.

     What a shame thought the former brothel owner, the man had been such a good worker for the human side but like he always said, in business you either sink or swim and swimming was what he always did. Bourban finished, he turned his attention to the rolled up floor plans that were lying ontop of the bar. Unfurling the largest, he anchored the edges with the empty glass and bourban bottle, making sure not to get the detailed plans sticky with alcohol. A huge grin lined the older mans face as he looked over the plans once more.

     The blue and white detailed drawings showed Randalls new project, Sanity. It was going to be a brothel/bar for demons in which they could relax after a hard day or night with the companion of their choice. It was still in the final stages of planning but hopefully in a few months, building could start. Wolfram and Hart had been so helpful with everything. The firm had indicated that they had considered Eternal to be essential in helping the lawyers deal with the more agitated clients. Apparantly nearly all the demons who had taken up on the offer of the Eternal had been easy to deal with the next day. Henceforth their interest in setting up another brothel.

     Randall was ecstatic to be nearly back in business again. He wouldn't be the sole owner this time but as long as things ran his way, he wasn't too fussed. Adam and Fletcher had been sent down to Mexico to wait until things were ready to start up again while the older man was staying with one of the top senior partners of the law firm. So far everything was going according to the plan.

     He was thankful more than ever for the silver braclets and necklaces that each boy wore, it had made tracking them down so much easier. Tomas, the firms senior Warlock had taken only minutes to locate each male, concentrating on the jewellery. It had been decided to leave the whores where they were for the moment. The older man had been disapointed when he had learnt what had happened to Jonathan, it meant that he would have to shell out more money to replace the boy. As soon as the new place was ready to open, a few people would collect the boys and make sure that they arrived safely at Sanity. After all, he had paid fair and square for the four youths, he had every right to reclaim what belonged to him. Christopher would also be rejoining the four youths. The warlock had informed Randall that although the man was stuck for the time being in a child form, with the right spell, the brothel owner would be able to change appearances again.

     There was a small problem with the ones who had gone back to Sunnydale. It turns out that they were in contact with the Slayer, someone that Randall hadn't really believed in but after seeing a video of the petite blonde staking a few vampires and killing various demons, he had to admit that the girl was impressive. The firm was working on a solution of how to get Andrew and Mathew out from under her nose without drawing attention to Sanity. The main problem was with Christopher and Scott living with the very people who had masterminded the raid on his place. Lindsey had been arctic when he had learned who was behind the rescue mission but had assured the older man that everything would be fixed before it was time to collect the five males. Randall wasn't too sure but he doubted that anyone who had been involved with the raid would be alive to see the grand opening of Sanity.

     With a sigh, he wondered how Scott's surgery had gone that morning and hoped that there hadn't been any complications. The last thing he needed was an unserviceable whore on his hands. He already had to shell out a load of money to replace Jonathon and he didn't want to make that two new boys to train. Rolling up the plan carefully, he rested it by the wall ontop of the wide bar top.

     Things would be different this time, of that he was sure.

     July 23, 2004

     Staring in to space, Angel knew that he had a tough descion to make. One that would affect two lives. Xander and his Childe Spike. Hands clasped behind his head as he sat in his office chair, the dark vampire wondered just what the hell he was going to do. After the hospital episode only three day's ago, so much had happened, it was hard to think straight.

     Eternal's owner, Randall Hargraves, had been found rotting in an abandened warehouse. With that discovery, the chance to find out more about the slave ring had been lost, none of the boys could remember how they got taken or by whom. Christopher remembered that he had lived in Sunnydale while a little child but was still blocking out almost everything else before his tenure as a prostitute at Eternal. It was still a big step for the man but not enough to get excited about.

     Kate had called him two day's ago to warn him that there were numerous porn tapes featuring the enslaved boys out on the market, they were apparantly aimed at fetish enthusiasts. Angel had felt sick when the blonde detective had confirmed his fears over Xander's involvement in them. Yesterday, she had dropped off four large boxes of videos from the survellance system from the brothel. She hadn't been able to drop them off before hand as she had had to wait until the uproar had died down a little before making them vanish from the evidence room. All tapes featuring human clients had stayed, any tapes featuring demons were now residing next to the vampires desk.

     There was one she had specifically wanted him to see in the hopes of identifing the featured youth. Kate had warned him that she had only been able to watch the first 20 minutes before she had been too sick to see the rest. The tape titled 'David' was still sitting on top of his desk waiting to be watched.

     Suprisingly enough, these were the least of his problems. Xander and Spike were the foremost problem at the moment. The brunette youth had finally come out of his drugged weepings as the doctor had agreed to re schedule the surgery. It had taken all of Wesley and Doyle's strength to hold Angel back from killing every nurse on the ward after Xander had managed to stutter out what had gone on after Cordelia had left him. After almost two hours of talking, pleading and tears from Xander, all four men had convinced him to stay for the surgery, Spike promising to stay until an hour before sunrise. Doyle had then promised to be there when Spike left.

     Throughout all the bargining with Xander, his Childe had sat on the bed as close to the youth as he was allowed. At first Angel hadn't really taken any notice of it, after all Spike was the one who soothed Xander's nightmares each night. It was when the young man had grabbed at Spike's hand to stop him from leaving for a smoke that had alerted Angel to the growing problem. He had felt both Wesley's and Doyle's shock at not hearing the blond vampire start whinging at not being able to leave for a quick puff in a stairwell.

     Spike had sat back down and let the brunette cling to his smaller hand. The older vampire had cursed silently to himself when he realised what was happening between the two males. He knew that neither one had any idea of what this simple gesture could turn into in the near future. It really was all Angels fault, only he was to blame.

     No one, apart from Darla, The Master, Spike, Drusilla and himself, knew that he had originally created four Childer, not the recorded three. He had only planned on three but Spike had been turned out of sheer desperation not out of lust or from the need to possess the beautiful male. Angel had allowed the popular theory of him lusting for the younger vampire to validate his turning of Spike to save himself some humiliation over having an unwanted Childe.

     Sighing, Angel caught up with reality. Firmly shoving his memories behind their gilded cage, he once again wondered just what to do. Either he encouraged Spike's protectivness of the brunette and gave the boy someone to lean on until he was able to look after himself better or he could send the vampire away, cutting the cotton thin bonds that were beginning to form between the two before it got out of hand on Spike's part.

     If he encouraged the blond, he would be reassured that Xander would never be left on his own again, Spike would always be around to do everything for the youth. The only problem with that, was Spike would isolate the boy in his drive to protect him. The good side was that he would forever be defended from any demon who made a pass at the brunette.

     Sending the vampire away would force the youth to stand on his own two feet a little more, making him latch onto another support person who would be able to do all the normal human things with him. He would have to learn how to socialise again without someone backing him up all the time. Without the vampire being around to scare off any potential friends for the youth, Xander would eventually make one or two friends from outside the Sunnydale and L.A. groups. The downside was that he wouldn't have the smell of a Master Vampire lingering on him to discourage any unwanted demon suitors, nor would the blond be around to get him out of any sticky situations. Angel very much doubted if the brunette would ever be able to defend himself against any sort of attack in the future, even after the hospital episode. After it had been painstakingly explained about Xander's experiences over the last few years, the nurses had agreed not to press charges on the youth.

     Cordelia had been ropable when she had found out about what had happened only calming down when Doyle had told her about his promise to Xander. In the end, it had been both Doyle and Cordelia who had relived Spike at the hospital, leaving Angel and Wesley to pick Xander up just after sunset.

     With a groan, Angel realized he was going to need a second opinion to the dilemma. He didn't want to release his Childe back down to Sunnydale but if it was going to be detrimental to Xander's health in the future, it looked like he was going to have no choice. Wesley was just about to get an insight into the relationship between Angelus, his Sire and Grandsire and his Childer that was written no where in a Watchers book.

     It was all his own fault that he had a headache, he should have taken better care of Clarice.

     "Wes, can I talk with you for moment?"

     The uncertainy in Angel's voice alerted the ex-watcher that there was something bothering the older vampire. A quick nod and smile at his lover, he set down the book he was reading, leaving his room to set off after the black clad vampire. A few quick steps to catch up to Angels longer strides and Wesley was curious to see that they were heading towards the boiler room. He didn't ask why, just following the broad back down into the warm room.

     After being curtly told to sit, Wesley was amused to see Angel methodically check every corner in the room before shutting the door, locking it from the inside. Patting the box beside him, the human waited for the taller man to sit beside him.

     "What's wrong? What's got you so broody now?"

     A brief scowl from Angel at the word "broody' and Wesley was made to promise never to tell what he was about to hear. The ex-watcher could feel his heartrate increase tenfold as he nodded his agreement, the smile wiped from his face at the serious tone. He could almost see the uneasiness radiating off the older man. His boss was anxious, that much was clear.

     "Please don't interupt me during this Wes. Only Spike, Drusilla, The Master, Darla and myself know what I'm about to tell you. Of all things that have been recorded by the Watchers, this never has."

     At the younger man's encouraging nod, the vampire stunned his lover with his next words.

     "As you know, I made Penn, Drusilla and Spike. What has never been known, is that before Spike, I made a Childe named Clarice."

     Holding up his hand to stop the question forming on Wesley's lips, Angel continued.

     "Two years after I made Drusilla and a year after Penn left the clan to explore on his own, it was decided by Darla that it was time to introduce her to The Master. I don't need to explain how her mind works to you, I'm sure that you have read the Watcher Diaries."

     Wesley wriggled around on top of his box, trying to get comfortable. It looked like the brooding vampire was going to take a while.

     "The Master was pleased that a Grandchilde of his had managed to turn such an unique Childe of their own. He had thrown a party for Drusilla and all had gone well until I took my attention from her for little more than a minute. The next thing I knew, Drusilla was in the process of embarassing some of The Master's oldest Childer, older than Darla herself. It was only the saving grace of The Master himself that stopped Khan and The Knight from dusting her right there and then."

     The brunette shuddered when he remembered just how close he had been to being dusted right along with his Childe that night.

     "Needless to say the party went downhill from there on. Darla sent me away in disgrace for failing to control Drusilla. The Master had a 'talk' with me later that night, just before Dru and I were due to go back to England. He indicated that he wanted me back for his next feast, due in just over four years, but without the charming Drusilla. I was specifically told not to destroy her as her 'gift' was too precious to waste"

     With a deep breathe, he rubbed his hand absently over Wesley's warm one that had settled on his cool thigh and continued the story.

     "In fact, the only option I was given, was to train a minion to look after her during my time in The Master's Court. Four years was not enough time to train a minion properly to look after such a demanding creature as Drusilla. So, I decided to create another Childe just for the sole purpose of looking after Dru. With all the extra Sire blood a Childe got during the early months of rearing, even though Drusilla would be older, they would be in more control than a mere minion."

     "Keep going Angel, I'm understanding it all so far"

     "Thanks Wes, it's just so hard. I've tried to actually forget about Clarice. Anyway, back in England with only three years and 10 months until I was to be back in the Court, I wandered the streets of London for almost four months just looking for the perfect candidate. After being 'scolded' by Darla and then having The Master give me a personal talking to, there was no way that I would accept anything but the best. Eventually I came across a girl who was well known in an upper class neighbourhood for her charitable work with the sick. I had struck gold with Clarice. She was gentle, kind, intelligent and well bred. Best of all, she was a born nuturer, just the type of Childe that I wanted for Drusilla."

     Angel gave Wesley a crooked grin as his larger hand was squeezed gently.

     "As you know, when someone is turned, all of those attributes are thrown out by the demon that takes residence in their bodies. There is a way however of creating an almost subliminal set of instructions in a new born Childe that will stay with them until they either get dusted or the one who planted them gets dusted. I had no idea that it was even possible to do it until The Master told me that you could. All you really do is repeat a few very explicit sentences during the whole time they are slumbering until they wake for the first time as a vampire. So, with that in mind, I snatched Clarice one night and turned her. I sat the whole night next to her just telling her that Drusilla was always to come before her and that her whole purpose of being was to look after Drusilla. Clarice was to defend her to the death, bathe and dress her, do her hair if neccessary. She was to be Drusillas maid until either one got dusted."

     Taking an uneeded breathe, Angel refused to look at the man beside him as his guilt got bigger.

     "Over and over that night, I imprinted on her fledgling mind that she was to show compassion for the insane vampire. Clarice was to be her shadow from that time on. It worked too, the first word Clarice spoke when she woke was Drusilla. As her Sire, she would defer to me naturally but she would really belong to Drusilla. All was going along smoothly. Clarice was smart, she took to Drusilla like I had hoped and after the first year and a half, I really didn't need to check up on them. Nor did I have to follow them out whenever they went hunting together."

     The brunette vampire could feel the heat being thrown of Wesley as the younger man struggled to keep his mouth closed, barring all the questions that he wanted to ask.

     "One night, about six months before I was due to leave for Venice and The Master's Court, I recieved a letter from Darla to say that she had forgiven me about Drusillas debutante party. In the mood for celebrating, Drusilla, Clarice and myself, went out to see the Wicker Man Festival being held in a local town not far from the large mansion we had taken over. It was really just a bunch of drunken yokels dancing around a huge bonfire that held a massive figure of a man made out of latticed woodwork. Drusilla was enchanted by the sight, pulling both Clarice and myself closer to the fire until we were almost scorched by the heat. It was then that Drusilla decided to start whining about how Clarice was about to leave her. I had no idea what she was going on about and after seeing that the younger vampire was having problems calming her down, I had decided to take matters into my own hands, classic Angelus style with a fist. What happened next will haunt me forever. As I drew my fist back to smack at Drusilla, I bumped Clarice behind me, in turn sending her backwards into a few drunk humans. The drunken sods took insult at that and shoved her towards the bonfire. She was still so new, that the intense heat made her panick and instead of letting me grab at her so that I could pull her away from it, she tried to dodge my hand and instead ended up tripping over another drunk, ending up in the fire itself."

     Rubbing at his face, Angel chanced a look at the man sitting beside him. He was reassured by the calm look on his lover's face, pleased that he could smell no anger on him.

     "She was dusted pretty much in an instant. If she had been even a few years older, then she probably would have survived the horrendus burning. I just grabbed at Drusilla and ran to the carriage, urging the minion to take us straight to London and not to worry about the minions back at the mansion. All through the lenghty trip, Dru kept weeping and moaning about Clarice. I tried to shut her up but I was too shocked by what had just happened. I should have know better than to let Drusilla get so close to the fire. Anyway, just as we hit the outskirts of London, Dru stopped her weeping and told me that the blue eyed boy was going to look after her until she met the grey eyed one. Yet again I had no idea what she was babbling about, all I could think of was that I now had less than six months to train another Childe for Drusilla. Once we had reached Darla's London home, I made sure that Drusilla was fed and in bed before leaving a few minions to look after her. I was furious and hated the idea of making another Childe but out onto the streets I went with the sole purpose of picking someone up and turning them that very night."

     "Jesus Christ Angel, I'm sorry but shit!"

     "Yeah, I know Wes. Blue eyes. That was what my lovely phsycic had told me so blue eyes were what she was going to get, I just ignored her reference to the grey eyes. I figured that The Master would see her again as he was the only one that I knew at that time that had grey eyes. I looked everywhere for a blue eyed youth but at 3am in London in those days, the pickings were slim to say the least. For hours I looked until just as I was about to admit defeat and go back to the house, this slender brown headed man came out of a doorway opposite me. It was obvious from his dress that he was on his way to work as a baker's apprentice. With a whistle in his direction, he turned to look at me and I saw that his eyes were blue. That pretty much sealed his fate. I didn't even notice how pretty he was until I had him back at the house and on the floor of the spare bedroom. This time, I couldn't take any chances at the instructions not setting into his fledgling mind."

     Another quick hand squeezed from Wes and he was set to resume the story.

     "Even as I was feeding off him, I had him turned so that his last vision would be of the large portrait of Drusilla. I mentally voiced the words 'protection' and 'Drusilla' to him over and over as I drained the last of his blood and again I repeated it to him as he fed from me. All throughout his twighlight slumber, I yelled at him that he was to put Drusilla first and to protect her to the death no matter what. He was to defer to all her wishes unless he knew that it was going to put her in danger. I shrieked at him that he didn't matter unless he was looking after a brown eyed brunette. I shouted those exact words at him a good few times. All during the time I was with Clarice in her slumber, I had only whispered at her but this time I had been yelling at the top of my voice at the smaller male. Eventually he woke up and again it had worked as he asked for Drusilla as soon as he had stopped feeding from me. It was only a few day's later that I realised just what I had Sired. A loud, rude, uncouth Fledgling. He was nasty, mean and quick tempered to everyone except Drusilla. William barely even tolerated me, his Sire coming into contact with Dru. The first few minions that came within touching distance of Drusilla were torn apart before I could stop it."

     A bitter laugh echoed throughout the room as Angel hung his head. He was ashamed that he had created such Childer as Spike and Drusilla. People who would have had such normal happy lives if he hadn't destroyed them.

     "It took weeks of beatings, torture and rapes to make him submit to me. In the end it took me constantly belittling him, deriding his whole being that made him stop growling and snarling every time I went near Drusilla. William wasn't just protecting her, he was obsessed with her. I had gone too far with the instructing while he was slumbering. Drusilla was happy and actually took to him better than Clarice, that was one of the very few things that stopped me from staking him during the first week, that and the fact that I was running out of time. I hated him, I loathed every fibre of his body. He was everything that Clarice wasn't, he was lower class, illiterate, had a shocking accent and had no respect for his Sire. I took great delight in comparing him to the dusted Clarice and pointing out how much better she would have done a task than he did when I set one for him. I broke his fingers and ribs too many times to count when he was taking too long with any task I set for him, be it learning to read or even working the intricate hairstyles that Dru so loved. I just didn't have the time to train him properly, he was a total rush job. I had to get three years worth of training into a handful of months. The way I treated both Clarice and Drusilla was soft compared to the way I bullied and beat my way with William."

     "Fuck me!"

     "Almost six months after I had turned William, I left for Venice and The Master. Darla was happy about the new Childe even after I had told her about the disaster with Clarice. She came back over with me to meet her new Grandchilde only to be shocked at how rude and arrogant he was and expressed her dislike in a very painful way. From then on, I treated him as worse than a minion, just like a savage dog that need to be kicked every time it was passed. The only one who showed him any kindness was Drusilla in her odd way. I gave him a dog's name, Spike and was amused when it stuck. If ever he snapped at me too much, I would either discipline him or humiliate him by giving him to the minions to use as they pleased until either I had decided it was enough or Drusilla wanted to go out hunting. That went on for a good few years, only stopping when I go bored with it all. He eventually settled down into the role of the youngest Childer and after a few mishaps, asserted himself over the minions."

     "Uh...um, ok?"

     "Although I never stopped disliking him, I did occasionally go out hunting with Drusilla, Spike always by her side. I was proud in a way that my youngest Childe was sticking so true to his training. This went on for more years than I care to remember until the fateful holiday with Darla in Romania and you know what happened after that. Spike was never intended to happen, he was unplanned and unwanted from day one."

     "Right. Um, why did you tell me all that?"

     "I have a problem. Spike is unknowingly following his set of instructions by starting to fixate on Xander. You have to look on it from his point of view. Xander is brunette, dark eyed and extremley needy at the moment. That hand holding incident at the hospital a few days ago wasn't the first time that Spike has comforted Xander. Spike is helping the boy through nightmares every night by holding him while he sleeps. Have you noticed that Spike is just a few notches gentler with Xander than he is with everybody else?"

     "No, I haven't, what the hell are we going to do? I mean in one way it might be good to know that Xander is being protected but an obsessed vampire in the hotel is something that I don't want to live close too"

     Wesley was shocked by what Angel had revealed. He had never heard of Clarice and had always bought into the theroy that Angelus picked Spike for his beauty. The man had no idea of what to do and knew that his lover was stuck with the very dilemma himself.

     "So, Xander. Tell me, how are you feeling today?"

     "A..a..alright I guess"

     "How did the operation go?"

     "D..Dr. Sawyer s..s.said everything was f..fine"

     "Ah. How do you feel about being back at home after the hospital?"

     "I..I don't kn..kn..know. It's a..a hotel"

     "Yes, yes it is. Home for the moment though isn't it?"

     "No!"

     The grey haired woman arched her eyebrow at the strong tone in the brunette´s voice. Barbara Neal sat in a hard armchair next to her patients bed. She hadn't wanted the quiet youth to miss out on a session due to him being confined to bed for a few day's. This was the first opportunity after the disaster at the hospital she had had to visit Xander and she was curious to find out what was the cause to him lashing out at the nurses. Mrs Neal knew that he had kicked and punched at them out of fear of being touched by them, but how he had ended up on the floor in the bathroom was another question.

     "No? Why do you say that, this is your room isn't it?"

     "I..i..i'ts Angel's room, n..n.n.not mine. C..can't go b..b.back to the ap..p.partment. That's Willow and T.Tara's. Can't g..go back to Sunnyd..d.d.dale"

     "I'm sure that Angel has told you that you can live here as long as you want, that makes this your room until you move out and your room anytime that you want to come back"

     Barbara knew that the youth was on the verge of opening up. He hadn't spoken one word during his first few sessions, just sat and listened to her prattle on about the weather and what was on tv. Bit by bit he had stuttered a few words, answering her questions in such a quiet voice, she had had to strain to hear him. As the sessions had gone by, his level of speaking had showed improvement and he was now offering more information whenever she asked questions. He was no longer concentrating his attention on the floor in front of him, although he still tended to answer to Scott rather than Xander. This wasn't going in the direction that she had hoped for but depending on where it would lead, she would entertain this train of questions.

     "Yes b..but is.isn't m.m..mine. Nothing is m..m..mine!"

     "You have your things in Sunnydale, your comics.."

     "NO!"

     Mrs Neal felt a flush of excitment flow through her as Xander raised his voice for the first time since entering into the session, almost at the breakthrough. The brunette was starting to fidget and had stopped looking at her, staring at the wall behind her.

     "Xander? Xander, look at me. I want you to tell me what is yours"

     "N..nothing"

     The short plump woman sat with legs crossed while she waited for the youth to continue. She could feel the waiting outburst straining against the brunette´s desire never to tell anyone what had happened at the brothel. Xander laid on his side, facing his therapist, eyes darting around the room. He wasn't feeling well, he wanted a glass of water but he didn't want to stagger around the room with someone watching him. After a few minutes the growing tension was too much for him to bear.

     "He..he took everything a..a..away and left m.m..me with nothing"

     "Who did that Xander?"

     Xander felt the tears well up behind his eyes, gulping back the dry heaves that started. He couldn't help it. Shaking his head, he tried to blink them away only to start getting frustrated when they trailed down his cheeks. Hand raised, he wiped furiously at his eyes. Stars bloomed into his vision as he rubbed at the tears. Chest heaving, he sobbed uncontrollably into his bedsheets, not caring that he was being watched. The therapist looked on as her patient finally broke down into the second phase of recovery. As horrible as it was, Xander had to go through a "why me?" state of mind before he could move on to some healthy anger. Being forced into service as prostitutes had made all the boys bar Christopher skip the first phase of recovery, denial that they were raped. If it had only happened that once to them, then they could have denied that it had ever occured but after the long years of service, the stark reality was all too clear.

     "Just let it out Xander, this is good for you"

     "H..he"

     "Ssshhh! Don't talk at the moment, cry all you like"

     With that, the sobbing got louder until it was bouncing off the walls. The brunette pressed the thick blanket covering him, almost the whole way into his mouth, muffling his screams as Barbara quickly got up. She knew that he needed physical comfort, just someone to hold him while he finally let out a small portion of agony from inside himself. Head popped around the doorway, she called down the stairs for someone to come up. Looking back at Xander, she saw that he had managed to curl himself into a tight ball. Barbara was sure that it didn't bode well for his stitches.

     Another glance back at the screaming brunette and the therapist ran down the stairs to find one of the youths friends. She could hear the screaming get louder, the blanket covering his mouth must have fallen away. Barbara turned abruptly on one heel and ran back up the stairs, towards the room as she heard loud thuds coming from Xander's room. She groaned inwardly as she saw her patient hysterically sobbing and thumping the back of his head into the wall beside the bed.

     "Xander? Come on Xander, stop. You'll hurt yourself. Crying is good, screaming too but hurting yourself isn't"

     The small woman knew that the youth was blocking out all sound except for his own wailing, his head thumping was an attempt to take his mind off the memories. He hadn't denied what had happened at the brothel but he had told no one about the details of his work, something he was going to have to do before much longer if he didn't want to get sick from the stress of keeping it in completely. Where the hell was everybody?

     Taking matters into her own hands, Barbara sat on the bed and grasped gently at the brunette head only to start deflecting the slaps that came her way. Xander wasn't even aiming for her, just trying to make who ever it was touching him to go away. Throughout it all, she kept up a steady stream of soft comforting words. Barbara could hear the screaming get more guttural and wilder, spittal forming at the corner of the youths mouth. This was getting bad, if he didn't start to calm down in the next few minutes, she would have to sedate him. The only good thing was, in order to slap at her, Xander had had to stop banging his head against the wall.

     Barbara sensed a presence next to her and whirling her head around, she saw Christopher staring at the scene before him. She took her attention off the frothing brunette for a moment and curtly told the young man to get her bag from the kitchen and to find someone else to come into Xanders room. With a quick nod, the little blond ran down the stairs as fast as he could. He had only come up to see what the noise was, Scott didn't like anyone in his room and Christpher was hoping that he wasn't going to get into trouble.

     "CORDELIA? DOYLE?"

     Racing into the large kitchen, the child/man grabbed at the large black bag sitting on the kitchen bench. He couldn't see anyone else around, maybe Spike would be somewhere. Christopher hefted the heavy bag into his arms, gripping it to his small chest tightly. Yelling for Angel or Wesley to help him, he dithered for a moment before shouting for Spike.

     He didn't like the blond man, he was creepy, so was Angel but Wesley liked Angel so Christopher figured that he must be alright. The small child liked Doyle and Cordelia the best, they looked after him. Doyle had funny stories and Cordelia took him shopping and to see Mrs Neal. With that, Christopher remembered that he still had to get the bag up to Scott´s room. Another shout for someone to help Scott, and the blond made his way back through the kitchen. Halfway up the stairs, he readjusted his grip on the shiny bag and continued towards Scott's room. Christopher was scared, he didn't know why the other man was crying so much and so loudly.

     Barbara took the offered bag, letting go of the flailing hands so she could prepare a mild sedative. With a curse, she dropped the bag as the brunette, his hands free, took the opportunity to start clawing at his face. The therapist grasped at the large hands again in a effort to stop the youth hurting himself. A few words for Christopher and she waited for someone to come up and help her.

     The little blond took off down the stairs again, crying as the screaming continued to echo through the upper floors of the hotel. With shaky quick breathes, he looked around the lobby for one of the adults. Not seeing anyone, he made his way back into the kitchen to see if Spike was back from going to get the red cordial that Christopher wasn't allowed to drink. Cordelia and Doyle were still nowhere to be seen, neither was Angel and Wesley. Just as he was leaving the cool room, he heard the back door to the kitchen open. Christopher yelled for the scowling bleached blond to help him upstairs, grabbing at Spikes black duster sleeve in effort to drag him up to the fourth floor.

     "Let go of me, you little shit. What's your problem now?"

     The vampire dumped the plastic bags onto the kitchen bench as Christopher tugged at his duster. Turning his attention to the crying child, he sighed at just what the latest drama could be. He was not going to be wiping arses if that was what was needed. Maybe he should rethink his objections to doing "the good work" and helping Angel with fighting demons, all he seemed to be doing these days was looking after brats and whelps. Turning to look at the snivelling child behind him, Spike tried not to snarl at the sight of the small chin wobbling. The others may have started to treat Christopher like a child but he sure as hell wasn't going to play along.

     "For fuck's sake mate, your bloody thirty! Start acting like it. Well come on, what's the problem?"

     Rolling his eyes as the former prostitute hiccuped a reply, Spike started putting away the blood bags, freezing when the child/man told him about the therapist needing help upstairs with Scott. The vampire shot out of the kitchen as fast as he could, not hearing anything until he reached the bottom of the stairs. With a flurry of cursing, he made his way towards the animal like moaning. Two more steps into the room and he stopped and stared as the therapist struggled with trying to hold onto the brunettes hands.

     "What the fuck is going on now?"

     Barbara thanked the higher beings that someone was now here to help her, even if it was the constantly unpleasant male standing in the doorway. Telling the man to open her doctors bag, she told him to get out one syringe and a vial of clear liquid. The short woman told the other man that she was going to have to sedate him in order to calm him down.

     "No you´re not, piss off and let me in. You're just scaring him, you know he doesn't like being touched by women. Stupid bitch"

     With that, Spike stomped over to the bed and the moaning male, trying to nudge the woman out of the way as hard as possible without setting off the chip. Telling her to get out of the room, the human and the vampire glared at each other until the therapist finally nodded and released the brunettes wrists. The vampire snarled and growled at the woman until she was off the bed and sitting back in the chair. He wedged himself between the distressed youth and the wall, with one hand firmly around the boy's wrists, Spike started to wipe at the spittle covering the brunette´s chin with the bedsheet.

     "What the hell set him off this time?"

     Spike listened to the woman tell him that she couldn't release any information due to the client privlige, snorting when told that this was the second step to recovery. He mocked the woman´s knowledge only to start listening when she described the various steps of rape recovery. The demon was amazed that there were so many mental truamas that a victim could suffer from. As a vampire, he had just raped whenever he had wanted and had never thought of the consequences. He really didn't want to know about them but the grey haired bint was warning him of some of the steps that the youth was likely to follow now that the floodgates holding back his emotions had been opened.

     He felt a pride that he had caused his victims such trauma but when he looked down at the shaking male in his arms, he smelt the very air around them was tinged with terror, sweat and blood. Normally these things would get his fangs dropping and he would have a hard on the size of Texas but for the unlife of him, he couldn't figure out why the scent was making him feel uneasy. Spike glared at the plump woman as she prepared a syringe, filling it with clear fluid from a little vial taken from her bag.

     "If you jab him with that, I'm going to stick my fist ri..OW, FUCK IT!"

     Barbara watched as the blond male clutched at his head with his free hand, wondering if he suffered from multiple personality disorder. Was it even possible for vampires to have the disorder? One of the many signs was intense pain on one particular side of the head, this was the third time she had seen the blond do it. She would have to talk with Angel later about the possibility. Giving the full syringe a flick, she watched as the air bubbles floated to the top. Plunger pressed, she released some of the fluid into the air.

     "What did I just fucking tell you?"

     "Look here, are you willing to sit with him until he calms down? All night if it's needed?"

     The therapist looked at her patient as he continued to tug and pull at the strong hold on his wrists, eyes darting around the room. On each breathe, he let out a load gutteral moan while continuing to let his spittle dribble down his chin. Tears made their way down his cheeks in fast flowing rivers. Barbara thought it was going to be a long night for the blond if he agreed to sit with the brunette. She calmly explained to the snarling demon that the Ms Contin was really a muscle relaxant and that it would only relax him enough to stop struggling, it wouldn't knock him out completely. Barbara sighed as the vampire growled at her again. Trying to reassure the bleached blond, she told him that what Xander was currently going through, was him just being overwhelmed by being allowed to express his emotions and that if he continued to go on like this, he would probably become very dehydrated and ill. It was best that he was at least partially sedated.

     "He will still be in control, just feeling a little lightheaded and fuzzy"

     "Fine. Just don't fucking hurt him, alright"

     The vampire defered to the matronly woman who was waving a syringe around. He may hate the stupid bitch but he knew that she was actually helping the youth recover. He shifted Xander's head with his free hand so the brunette couldn't see the syringe coming towards him. Spike doubted that even if he could recognise the needle, Xander would be able to object to it. The youth wasn't even really trying to get his hands free now, just tugging from the feel of something around his wrists. Hell, the blond didn't even know why he was holding the brunettes wrists. He waited until the therapist was finished injecting the moaning boy before asking. Spike was disgusted when she described how the youth had started clawing at himself. Asking why, the vampire was told that it was in an unconcious effort to punish himself for crying, something that had obviously been discouraged in the brothel.

     "Fucking cunts!"

     Growling at the woman as the drugs relaxed the brunette´s body, he told Barbara about the nightmares and how he was helping by holding the youth each night. He could see the wheels turning behind the old womans eyes and Spike didn't like that one bit. The vampire started laughing when he was told that he had just become the one person Xander could come to for reassurance and comfort. The therapist ticked off on her fingers all the instances of the blond comforting the brunette.

     "I was actually hoping that he would pick either Wesley or Francis but it looks like there is no choice now. Robin has his sister, Jason has Father Scheider, Todd has his mother and Christopher is still to be decided although it looks like it's going to be both Cordelia and Francis"

     "Piss off! You can't be serious, I'm a fucking demon. I don't do the 'comfort thing'"

     Spike completly ignored his years with Drusilla, prefering to give the smiling woman a piece of his mind, telling her just what she could do with that comfort and getting another inner brain slap in the process. As usual, the Mincing Poof would get off scott free, no emotional dramas for him. He was unsettled at the way Fat Barb was looking at him.

     "What? What are you looking at me like that for?"

     "Under all that moaning Xander is doing, it's very likely he can still hear a portion of what is being said. I would consider your answer to my next question very carefully if I were you"

     With that, Barbara reached back into her doctor's bag and got out a note pad and pen, quickly writing numerous lines. She leaned over Xander and handed the demon the torn off piece of paper. The therapist waited for the flood of swearing to begin and judging from the look on the vampires face, it was going to be vile.

     The blond was stunned at what the fat cow was suggesting. The woman wanted him to help Xander adjust back into society by getting him to do normal things like going to the movies, go grocery shopping, visit a mall here and there and eventually get the youth to make a visit to Sunnydale. Just because he had helped the whelp out a few times didn't mean that he wanted to become the brunette´s best friend. He scanned the words, scowling until he reached the last few sentences, there he got a suprise. Fat Barb was going to talk to Angel about him getting paid and if that didn't happen, she was going to try and wangle a carer's pension for him out of Social Security. He already got blood, booze and fags for looking after Xander and the other brat but the only money he ever got his hands on, was whatever he could steal from Wanker Mans team of do-gooders. Would be good to get his hands on some money of his own again. Actually working for it though was a horrible thought. Looking back over the words, he glared at the smiling woman.

     "Think about it"

     Barbara gave the vampire a quick nod, pleased that there was so far no arguments. As soon as the blond had climbed ontop of the bed to sit with Xander, she had seen how used to doing it he was. Angel had already told her about how the vampire was holding the brunette through the nightmares and when asked, Xander denied all knowledge of having them. Not wanting to push too hard so soon into the therapy sessions, she had let the subject fall by the wayside for the moment. Just looking at Xander, she was thankful that he wasn't as bad as Jason. That poor boy was severly depressed and on strong medication. With that thought, the therapist decided to prescribe some St. Johns Wort, a natural herb that helped nervous tension. She hoped that it would help Xander through the next few months.

     She decided to leave the two males together now that Xander had stopped shaking and struggling. He was still moaning quietly, tears dried up and leaving his face and eyes puffy and red. She talked to both Mr Giles and Father Scheider each week, in an effort to guage just how to help Xander the best. He wasn't the first victim she had seen that had been assaulted by a demon and unfortuneatly, he wouldn't be the last. Xander and the rest of the boys were however, the first ones she had ever known that had been tenured in a demon brothel. Barbara had talked to a few males and females that were the discarded companions of demons, ones that had been used until their beauty faded and then tossed out onto the sidewalk without even a few dollars. With the heavy demands of being a demon companion, their looks had faded rather quickly. Most however, ended hooking back up with other demons, too emotionally scarred to relate to normal life again. Barbara didn't want that to happen with the five men.

     With that, Barbara got up, asking if the vampire wanted anything from the kitchen. She recieved a snarled request for a beer before the blond turned his attention back to the man cradled in his arms. Puzzling over the vampires protectiveness, she made her way down the stairs. Spike was a vampire and by nature, they were not prone to showing sympathy or affection for anything especially not humans unless they were consorts. This one, however, was showing all signs of having done this type of thing before. If it helped Xander to have the vampire as his support person, then Barbara would just have to deal with her feelings of dislike for the rude male. Xander was a strong man, if he hadn't been, he would have been off in his own little land of reality before now. With the right type of care and persevarance on his part, he would one day be able to hold down a steady job, have his own place to live and even make a relationship work.

     Those sort of things were still a long time in the future but Barbara was hopeful that all the men would someday be able to do it. One of the main problems with Robin, Jason and Todd, were that they still looked so young. Barbara was considering getting Mr Giles to age them to their true ages, she was sure that it was the cause of some of their problems. To be a 21 year old and still look 16 must be hard. At least Xander looked a little older than the rest. Yes, that was what she was going to do, get them aged to their true ages. She knew that with the type of 'don't ask, don't tell' mentality of the Sunnydale populace, whatever explanation was given for Robin and Todd's sudden advanced years would be accepted. Father Scheider was already fairly experienced with dealing with the demon world, having accepted a few of her more traumatised patients for the odd weekend here and there.

     Coming back to reality, she realised that she was standing in the kitchen and Christopher tugging at her sleeve. Firming herself mentally, she deliberately overrode all of the man´s child like questions about what was wrong with Scott. With a frown, she reminded Christopher that it was now Xander, not Scott. A question of where the others were got her a shrug and a request for a glass of water. With a nod, Barbara sat heavily in one of the kitchen chairs and decided to wait for someone to show up so that she could appraise them of the situation. She was sure that Angel would agree to paying the smaller vampire something for looking after Xander, if he didn't, she would have to see what Kate would be able to arrange through her contact at the Social Security head office.

     Barbara sat quietly at the kitchen table, hoping that one of the others would be back soon.

     Feeling refreshed.

     Cool arms.

     A weight lifted.

     Something solid pressed against his back.

     He had cried.

     Someone in bed with him.

     It had felt good, the crying.

     Slowly he traced a finger over the small hand that rested on his chest, touching at the milky white skin. Xander marveled how smooth it was. The hand was too small to be Angel's, so it must be Spike in bed with him. Why? Does he want....'that'?

     The brunette turned slightly so that he was resting more on his back, forcing the vampire to shift closer to the wall. A quick glance and Xander saw that the vampire was awake and looking straight back at him. The two males lay and looked at each other for what seemed like hours, each one taking in the planes of the others face, until the silence was broken by the sound of Xander kissing the blond. A warm tongue teased its way into a cool cavern, eliciting a swear from the vampire.

     "Pet, don't do that"

     Spike pulled away gently, his lips tingling from the fire raging across them. He was startled that the whelp had kissed him. So soft and feathery, delicious. The vampire put his hand out to stop the youth leaning in for another attempt. He took in the confusion that trekked its way across the young face, kicking himself for not getting out of the bed when the brunette had finally fallen asleep. The moaning had gone on for hours, Spike hadn't realised that the human had had so much stamina. Throughout the whole time, his Sire had kept coming to check on them, the last four times bringing a few beers to keep him occupied. The warm room and the act of just sitting had made him tired, he had fallen asleep himself only minutes after Xander had.

     "W..what did I d.d..do wrong?"

     "Just because I'm here with you, doesn't mean that I want to shag you, alright?"

     The brunette was confused. What other reason could Spike have for being in bed with him? Wasn't he attractive anymore? What was wrong with him?

     "Why?"

     Flabbergasted, Spike had no idea of how to reply to that simple question. What the hell did he say? The whelp was obviously just used to shagging whatever he ended up in bed with. He didn't want to embarass or upset the youth, but he didn't want to lead the boy on or give him the wrong idea. Xander still hadn't gotten the idea that he could say no, he was just doing what he had been trained to do for the last three and a half years.

     "Do you remember talking with Fat Barb yesterday?"

     "S..sort of, i.i..it's a bit fuzzy. I..I can remember crying b.but it f..fades out a..a..a..after that"

     If Spike didn't want to kiss him, then he would try a different tack. With one hand, he slowly moved his fingers down his chest and rested them on his thigh, as close to the other man he could get without actually touching him.

     A sigh and Spike told the brunette about how the therapist had had to give him a mild sedative. He watched the youth´s face closely to see if the knowledge would set him off again. When it didn't happen, he withdrew his arm from across the warm chest. The vampire informed him of how he got to be holding the youth, again checking for any signs of distress.

     "Breakfast?"

     "Yeah, I.I feel l..l.like I could e.eat a horse!"

     Making his move before the vampire got up, Xander quickly gave the black jeans a few strokes, right along the telltale bulge that was squeezed into the tight pants. He gasped as he found his wrist caught in a firm grip, not firm enough to hurt him but certainly enough to keep his hand away from the vampire's crotch. Confused chocolate eyes looked into icy blue orbs.

     "Xander, don't go there. I won't tell you again."

     "B..but, you l..l.liked it before, d.don't you w.w.want me?"

     Again, what the hell should he say? The blond was weighing up his options. This was a tread carefully situation, tread extremley carefully. With Dru, sex usually stopped any stupid question and solved virtually any arguments and problems that cropped up. Sex, however, would not be the answer to this little gem. Yes, he had loved it before, all those years working in the brothel had given the whelp the ability to provide a handjob that only Drusilla, his Sire and Darla could surpass. Hell yeah, he definately wanted another one but the whole situation was screaming that it was wrong. Normally he wouldn't have given a stuff about it being wrong, what vamp would, but there was a nagging feeling of Dru at the back of his mind. A Dru that was gently shaking a finger at him, telling him he was a wicked boy for even thinking along those lines.

     What if the whelp really was a poof, he didn't want the boy to get the idea in his head that sex with another male was wrong. To do that would just cause a hell of a lot more problems down the track, ones that he really didn't want to deal with. Ok, here it goes.

     "Look, that time was different. It was a totally different situation. The Broody Beast and me were playing for the cameras, no cameras here now so no need to do anything"

     "It´s b..b.because I'm dirty i.isn't it? U.used goods?"

     Spike could smell the rising panic on the youth, could see the small beads of sweat forming on his brow. He still had hold of his wrist, pretty sure that the moment he let go, Xander would be trying to cop another feel. The problem with that, was the vampire was already half hard and just about ready to jerk himself off.

     "No, not that. It's that you don't know what you want yet."

     "Oh, I.I see. The w.w..whore can't t.think for h.h.himself."

     With a snarl, Spike hastily let go of the tanned wrist only to be shocked into silence when Xander gently took the vampire´s hand and placed it on the outline of his own flaccid penis, rubbing the cool palm into the soft heat. Two seconds later, Spike was scrambling out of the bed as fast as he could, his hard-on raging almost beyond control. Stopping to stand just infront of the open door way, the blond looked back at the quietly crying brunette and silently swore to himself.

     "Your'e not a whore Xander, you're out of that fucking place and you're bloody well free now so cut the shit"

     At the boy's violent head shaking, the vampire crossed back over to the bed, this time choosing the armchair to sit in. He leant forward to hear the soft words being spoken underneath the sobs. With one hand, he hesitantly reached out and touched the sweaty dark hair, pushing damp strands off the shiney forehead. Sniffing, Spike smelt that the boy was confused more than panicked, the stale aroma of misery starting to combine with the confusion. Hearing tuned into the soft words, the blond felt himself go into game face as he made out what was being said. The whelp was whispering to himself that he was a whore and always would be, that he hadn't done anything wrong, was he so dirty that even a vampire didn't want him?

     "I'm j.j.just a h.hole, no. N.Not even t..t.that anymore, t.too useless. O..only know h.h.h.how to d.do one thing r.r.r.really well, b.but no one w.w.wants m.m.me. Too d..d.dirty..."

     Head shaken at the words, Spike wondered how long it was going to take for the brunette to start believing that it wasn't true. At least the vampire didn't have to worry about jerking off anymore, the self hating words had pretty much deflated him. He kept stroking the longish hair, slightly amused that the thick mass had a light curl to it's ends. Dru had curled her hair for years before going with the straight look just before she had left him for good. Spike used to love running his fingers through the tangled mess, Dru breaking her combs and brushes so that the only way her hair looked half decent was after a Spike finger brushing.

     "DON'T F.F.FUCKING TOUCH M..ME!"

     A deflected slap and the vampire was suprised at how quickly the boy's emotions turned into pure anger. He fought off at least a dozen more slaps and punches that drove him further into the confines of the chair, oddly pleased at the strength behind them.

     "If you want to soddin well punch something, I'll take you to the fucking gym, you don't hit me or anyone else in this place. No one except the Brooding Wanker downstairs, got it?"

     Xander slowed down his assult towards the blond until his hands rested on his chest, arms clenced firmly to his sides. Chest heaving with the sudden effort and anger, he stared up at the ceiling not daring to look at the other man. Suddenly what the vampire had said about Angel clicked. Softly he started to laugh, a tiny smile crossing his face. The brunette turned to look at the vampire still sitting in the chair beside the bed. Laughing dying down, he gave the other male a slightly bigger smile. With a quiet voice, he apologised for hitting Spike who gave him a sneer and rolled eyes.

     "You going to get your arse out of bed? Starved, I am, so I'll see you downstairs"

     "Ok, S..Spike?"

     "What?"

     "W.why are you b.b..b.being nice to m.me?"

     "Because I fucking well can."

     With that Spike left the room before the brunette could make another pass at him. Fat Barb sure as hell knew what she was talking about last night. He had been unwillingly fascinated by all the things a victim of abuse could go through afterwards. Mood swings being the most obvious, sexual aggression, self harm, nightmares, paranoia, denial that it had ever occured. Lots of other things had been mentioned by the therapist. She had told the group during the first meeting, that Xander and the other boy's would most likely become aggressive in trying to re-afirm their sexuality and manhood and for the L.A. men to resist all attempts on Xander´s part to have sex with them. Yet again, Spike had copped a beating from his Sire for laughing at the therapist but now, he could say for sure that the old woman was right. It wasn't that he would actually be looking for sex, it would be an effort to prove that he could be in control.

     The boy wasn't aggresive yet, he had naturally assumed that Spike had wanted sex with him by being in the same bed. Hopefully he wouldn't even try it again but Spike wasn't going to take any chances of leaving the boy alone again, who knew when he might try it again. God only knew what would happen if he found a willing recipient for his advances.

     Spike found that he didn't have to think about if he was going to look after the brunette anymore, there was no way anyone was going to seperate them. Best thing of all was, if he could wangle it just right, he could get paid by Angel and claim the carers pension both at once.

Wesley

     Water turned on and shower curtain pulled fully out of the warming water, Xander carefully stepped into the bath. A wince at the dull ache in his anus and he wondered just when the constant discomfort would start to go away. The operation had been successful, Dr Sawyer had been pleased with the results. He was now offically tight again. He shuddered as the word 'virgin' bounced around his head, a little sad that the surgeon hadn't been able to restore that. Oh well, the pain wasn't really that bad. After all, he had had a lot worse. Still, at least he could stop shitting himself if he didn't hibernate near a bathroom constantly.

     The liquid soap started to foam as it mixed with the almost scalding water, little suds making their way down his arm and tangling with the silver bracelet. He often wondered why the metal didn't rust or at least tarnish. Spike had told him that he was now free from the brothel, it migh be true but until he got the silver chains off his neck and wrists, he and the other boys would always be slaves. It wasn't as if Angel, Wesley and Giles hadn't tried their best to get them off, it was that nothing had worked so far. Spells, incantations, sawing with a hacksaw, Angel trying to snap them in half, Spike and Angel pulling in opposite directions.....nothing had worked.

     With a small smile, Xander realised that the facewasher was now totally free from any soap. He reached into the shower caddy and re-applied the vitamin E liquid to the wet cloth again, making sure to rub it over his body before it all disappeared down the drain. Once lathered with the soft smelling suds, he immersed himself fully into the pounding water, relaxing into the heat. His smile grew as the taut muscles in his body gave into the heat, unknotting themselves from yesterday's stress. Hair thoroughly wet, was shampooed and conditioned then rinsed.

     Xander stood under the stream for a few minutes, wondering why Spike had really pushed him away before. It wasn´t as if the demon didn't want him. With the few strokes he had given the other male, he had definately felt hardening. Couldn't have been the crying, vampires loved to see him cry, most paying specifically for that. He knew that he kissed well, so it wasn't that either. Maybe it was just Spike being weird, both he and Angel weren't the normal vampire types.

     The fact that Spike was holding him during his supposed nightmares didn't really bother him, it just confirmed the fact that the vampire did want him. Xander thought that the demon was clever to think of such an excuse as nightmares to justify his holding of Xander at night. He was flattered that the other man was interested in him, after all, he was used goods and pretty filthy. It just wasn't possible for him to go back to women now, all they would have to do was look at him and they would know that he was a whore. No woman wanted a man who had been used in such a way, no matter what Mrs Neal said. If Spike wanted him, then the vampire was going to get him.

     Might have been what he said during his little teary episode? Xander chewed at his bottom lip, wondering if that was what had sent the blond away. He hadn't meant to scare the vampire away. A sudden wave of lightheadedness swept over him as he remembered that he had actually lashed out at the other man. But, he had apologised, surely that wasn't going to discourage the vampire? Xander felt himself starting to shake, was it possible that he had just turned off the only person interested in him? A sob broke through the steam as a tanned brunette sat himself on the bottom of the bathtub, knees drawn up to his chest. Rocking slightly, Xander wept into his hands, horrified that he had displeased the smaller man.

     "Oh m..my God! I.I..I raised my v..voice. I'm s.s.sorry, so s.sorry. Pleeeassse..p.p.please, I'm sorry!"

     Stomach gurgling, the brunette felt his abdominal muscles clench up. Dry retching, he continued to sob and apologise to the non present blond. He promised that it wouldn't happen again and that he would be more careful next time. More importantly, he vowed to make it up to the vampire. Somehow, Xander was going to make an apology of more than just words.

     "I..I promise, I'll b..b.b.be good."

     The water was starting to cool down as the hiccuping man wiped at his eyes. He wrenched the water off fast, hauling himself up carefully so as not to slip on the slick bath bottom. Xander slowly stepped on the cool tiles of the bathroom floor. Towel grabbed, he thoroughly dried himself, applying body lotion from head to toe. The brunette knew that Cordelia was astounded at how much sorbelene and glycerin he went through but he didn't feel clean if he went with out the lotion after a shower. He had tried to go without a few times but he had only lasted not even ten minutes before running back into the bathroom to complete his grooming routine. Xander hated that he felt so compelled to do it but it was just one of the things that made him feel nervous if he didn't do it right.

     While the lotion was drying, he wiped at the steamed over mirror. Xander took in his reflection, studying his ever hairless face. From the day he had arrived at Eternal, he had never had to shave or get his hair cut again. Wesley had told him it was probably due to the jewellery, the magical properties were somehow warping his body and its natural functions. The brunette focused on the still pink scratches on his face. He didn't remember clawing at himself but if Spike said that he had done it, then it must be true. Spike would never lie to him, after all, the vampire had come back as he had promised. With those words, Xander felt a wave of guilt flow over him. He was ashamed that he had raised his voice.

     He turned his head from side to side, relieved that there were only a few scratches and even those weren't too bad. Hair brushed, Xander turned fast, gasping at a flare of pain in his rectum. Berating himself, he walked slowly back into the bedroom and started to dress. Loose fitting navy pants went over white boxers, a grey marble long sleeved T-shirt clothing his upper body, his feet remaining bare. After not wearing any shoes for so long, he found that even runners tended to make his feet ache after a few hours. Christopher also hated wearing shoes, only doing so when Cordelia promised a treat.

     Xander turned his lamp off on the way out, taking the stairs one by one instead of bounding down them like he usually did. He was feeling calmer now that he had had a cry in the shower. Down to the last few steps, the brunette wondered again as to why Angel wouldn't get the lift fixed. It had broken down again, something that it did about every second month apparantly. Too expensive probably he thought. Cordelia had been unable to stop laughing when describing the vampire´s face after the last bill, Wesley and Doyle just nodding along with big grins of their own. It was nice to be back downstairs, with no lift and order of no stairs for a few days, he had been basically confined to his room. Didn't really worry him anyway, he had just read or listened to the punk rock that shook his bedroom walls coming from the blond's room from across the hallway.

     It was almost a novelty to listen to music again, the first time he had heard Spike´s radio, he had started to wail for Randall to come and get him. He hadn't been alone in that, the other boys had joined in as the music had drifted down the hallway. The only thing that had calmed them down had been Angel yelling at Spike to turn it down. Xander was still embarrassed at that memory, now though, he didn't care what the blond played as long as he could listen to it. Most of the music wasn't to his taste but it was so nice to have sound rolling around the upper floor.

     He padded through the quiet lobby and into the large kitchen, suprised to see only Spike and Christopher sitting at the table. The vampire was obviously waiting Christopher to finish his breakfast, the blond was huffing and puffing as the young boy's spoon chased the last of the coco puffs around the bowl. A small smile at them both and Xander got out his latest batch of antibiotics, two boxes and a small brown bottle. So far, there wasn't a week that had gone by without him on some sort of medication. Amoxil swallowed, he put two weetabix in a bowl, smothering the cereal with warm milk. While he waited for it to turn into easily passed mush, he popped out the second lot of pills and gulped the Flopen down with a glass of water. The Tetracyclin had to be taken after food, something he would do after his cereal and a few pieces of fruit.

     "About fucking time, now sod off and watch tv. Muppets or some bloody thing, I don't give a shit, just go."

     Xander's face lit up in a genuine smile as Spike grumbled around the kitchen now that Christopher had dashed off after finishing his breakfast. It meant that the vampire could now have his own breakfast, if he hadn't already had it before the boy had come down into the kitchen. Both vampires were careful not to show their demon faces around the man/boy, they just didn't know how he would react and Angel was wary of causing any further trauma for Christopher. The blond whinged as he heated his blood, Xander just listening as he quietly ate his own breakfast. The brunette leant against the cool sink, watching as the vampire went into game face to drink the blood. Xander could barely remember when it had used to bother him. He tuned out to Spike´s continual complaining about how he was stuck looking after Christopher, or the brat as he was affectionatly known according to the blond vampire. Xander was more interested in how he was going to make it up to Spike.

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