Lesbians By Bernadette
"She has lost her mind. I can't believe her. I mean she was
fine with Oz. What could make her want to be a lesbian? I
mean Tara. Have you met the girl? She really freaks me out
but she seems nice. But then she is romantically involved with
Willow. Help me. You need to talk to her. She will lis-"
"Hold on. Buffy, are you sure you called the right person?"
"Yes. You know that she will listen to you. Plus, it helps that
she had a crush on you for so long. Please just speak with
her," Buffy said into the phone as she collapsed onto her
mother's couch. "You know I really can't handle this
"Buffy, what am I going to say to her? What makes you think she
will even listen to me? Why would I want to talk to her about
this?" asked the man on the other side of the line.
"Because this isn't natural... and... and you're Angel. You
can do anything," the slayer desperately said into the phone.
"That wasn't a good answer," the dark vampire answered
shaking his head.
"I know but you are going to talk to her anyway, right?"
Buffy said using her sweet voice.
"I will talk to her about her feelings and what is happening but
I won't try and change her. If this is what she wants then I am
happy for her," was Angel's heart felt reply.
"Okay, thank you. I guess I just don't have the time to find
out how she is feeling and what is happening to her. What I
don't understand is why she always picks the weird ducklings to
date. Why can't she date a normal, not freaky person?" Buffy
"Well, look at her friends. I mean she has Xander and then you.
What does that say for her normalcy factor? She lives on the
hellmouth, too. I think she is allowed to be a little strange,"
"Normalcy factor? Too much time with Cordelia. Anyway.
Thanks. Listen I have to go but please talk to her. Invite her to
L.A. for the weekend," Buffy suggested as her mother came
down the stairs.
"Okay, I'll talk to her over the weekend," Angel said.
"Great. Bye," Buffy said hanging up.
All Angel heard on the line was the click as she hung up the
phone when Cordelia knocked on his office door. "Oh, well."
Cordelia walked into the office , "Hey, Angel. Gunn and I are
going to go out. I'm still working on that guardian angel thing.
I like helping him, so we will be out. If you need us you have my
beeper." When she finally took one look at him, she knew
something was up. "Hey, what's wrong? You look like you...
well nevermind. You are dead. What's up?"
"That was Buffy on the phone," Angel said as he scrunched his
"Yeah, what did the blonde bimbo have to say?" Cordelia asked
as she sat on the arm of the chair infront of his desk.
"That Willow is dating a girl named Tara and she wants me to
see about getting her... ah, well, I guess to not date this
girl," Angel said shaking his head hoping to rationalize this.
Nothing fell into place like he hoped it would.
"So Willow is following the lesbian trend... Go her. So
what's the big deal?" Cordelia asked.
"Well, Buffy doesn't like the idea of Willow being a lesbian.
So she called figuring that I would talk to Willow and magically
change her sexual preference."
"Who cares what Buffy thinks? Anyway, I doubt it is a sexual
preference with Willow. Most likely it is an emotional preference.
Sometimes I think it would be great to be a lesbian," Cordelia
said taking a seat in the chair.
Angel was curious now. "What do you mean?"
Cordelia began to explain, "Well, you aren't a woman so you
don't know what we want and need deep down. Hell half the
time if you tell a guy exactly what you want you don't get it.
It is easier to become close with a woman then a man. You get
everything you need emotionally but I couldn't go without the
other things a guy brings to a relationship. But other then that I
wouldn't mind having a person that knows when you want a hug,
when you want to talk, and when all you need is a cup of tea and
an encouraging look. Guys don't do that. You let them into an
intamite part of you and then everything they did to get there
stops. They don't make conversation. They don't romance
you. They just expect that everything will stay the same and they
don't need to maintain it. So you see having a woman... they
know what you want and need. Women in a whole are
compasionate and caring. Willow never had that..." Cordelia
heard the cough that came from the door and knew she should
probably go. She looked at Angel and he nodded his head.
"Hey, Gunn. Take care of your guardian angel," Angel said as
he waved a hand at the handsome man waiting at the front desk.
"I will but I think she is taking care of me," Gunn said as
he helped Cordelia on with her jacket.
Angel spent most of the night thinking about what Cordelia had
said. Did men really just wait for the sex and then totally
change? Was he like that? What was he thinking? Of course he
was. How many women did he leave in the middle of the night in
a sleezy hotel when he was a human? Tons of women. He
never cared about what they needed or wanted. Would he
change if he could be with the one person he wanted? Would he
hurt her that way? In a sense he already did it once while he had
a soul. Would learning this stop it with the one he was falling in
love with? The one that was already finding comfort in the arms
of a woman? Wait! What was he thinking? Did he love the
redhead that had been filling his dreams lately? Why had Buffy
called him? He already had enough to deal with.
Willow plopped down infront of her computer at her parents
house. It was the only place she could find quiet. Buffy was
always at the dorm with Reilly. She really needed to get the
research done and this seemed like the best place for it. After
hearing the noise of the monitor turing on and hearing the hard
drive rumble to life she got into something more comfortable.
She ended up in a tee shirt and sweats, not that her jumper and
sweater weren't comfortable. She just needed to relax.
First she went to check her email. She jumped through all her
daily digest and went straight to the one from Angel. It wasn't
unusual for her to get mail from him but he had just emailed her
yesterday. Normally there was a few days between letters. She
opened the mail and started to read:
I heard from Buffy. She said that everything was
getting hectic there. I thought you might like a break.
I called Giles and he said that there aren't any world-
this weekend. So, I was wondering if you wanted to
spend the weekend with me? I can come and get you if
you want. Give me a call or email me. I'll be waiting
for your answer. I miss you. Bye.
Wow. Angel wanted to spend the weekend with her. Buffy
probably said something about her and Tara. Was that why he
was inviting her to spend the weekend? She put that thought on
hold when she came to the next email. It was also from him.
"Yes, she mentioned Tara but that isn't why I am asking
you to come and visit me. I just miss you and I thought
you might like a weekend to yourself, well, and me too.
Bye. I love you.
Willow fell off her chair. She didn't know what shocked her more:
that he loved her or that he knew her so well. Yes, they talked all
the time both on the phone and through email but did he know
her that well? How did he know what she would be thinking?
Was she that transparent? Could people make her out that
easily? No, Willow thought as she sat back on the chair. She
scrolled down a little more to make sure that was all he put.
"You are far from lucid."
How could she not go and spend the weekend with him? First,
she needed to know how he knew her so well and second, she
just wanted to see him.
I'll be there Friday night. Thanks for inviting
me. This means alot. Also, be prepared for many
This could actually be a really good weekend. Really good.
"Hello. Anybody home?"
"Yes, I'm in the office," Angel called as he walked out of his
office. He saw her. She looked so beautiful. Her red hair was
just a few inches shy of shoulder lengeth. It looked wild,
something that looked wondeful on the normally shy girl... no
woman. She wore a pair of jeans and a tee shirt that was just a
little too tight in some areas.
"Hello," Willow said as she shoved her hands into her back
pockets. She couldn't hug him, could she?
"Hi," Angel said as the corners of his lips curled up in a slight
smile. "Can I give you hug?"
Did he just asked if he could hug me? Yes. Yes, he did. "Of
course," Willow said as she walked towards him with arms wide
"I just wanted to make sure I wasn't over stepping my bounds,"
Angel said as he held her tight. He gave her one last squeeze
before he let go. He was almost checking to make sure she
was the one there, that it wasn't a figment of his imagination.
"You are my friend. Hugging is never over the bounds. A French
kiss might be though," Willow said with a bright smile.
"Good, I'll be taking advantage of this though. Here, we can
bring this stuff upstairs. I think you will like it. This place used to
be a hotel as you can see," Angel said as he took her bag.
"So far it looks really nice. Where am I going to be sleeping?"
"In my room. The other rooms aren't ready yet. I will sleep on
the couch," Angel said as they came to the door. "Here we are,
mi lady. Ladies first." He held the door open and Willow walked
in looking around. The room was nice. It must have been an
important room. It was large and had a living room.
"Thank you kind sir. So you actually think I am going to let you
sleep on the couch when I am the guest?" Willow asked as her
eyes curiously took everything into veiw.
"Yes," Angel said smiling and shaking his head. She was
"If you were at my house would you let me sleep on the couch
while you were in my bed?" Willow asked in a coey voice.
"No, but you aren't dead and don't have to worry about being
uncomfortable. So either way you will be the person in the bed.
Plus, it is only appropriet for the woman in the couple to be
treated with only the most importance," Angel said as he placed
her bag on one of the chairs.
"You know, I would fight you and give you my resolve face but I
have a feeling that you wouldn't let it work," Willow said turing to
face him. "Would you?"
"Probably not," Angel said as he slightly bent so they were eye to
"Well, you can't say I didn't try." Willow took a seat on the couch
and Angel took a seat on the chair across from her. "So, why
don't we get to this
I'm-a-lesbian-and-everyone-has-a-problem-with-it thing over
"I don't have a problem with it," Angel said nonchalantly.
"Oh, yes, you do. Everyone does. I don't see the problem. I like
Tara. She is nice and cares about me. Why can't I just try this? I
mean it isn't like I am saying I am never going to date another
guy. I don't see why I can't just put them off to the side for a little
bit," Willow said as she got into a good rant. Looking up to
Angel's smiling face she stopped her ramble, "Oh, I'm sorry... I
didn't mean to take this out on you."
"No, it's okay. Tell me what you think. Maybe I can help you
handle this," Angel said looking at her with compassionas he
took a seat.
"Well, I guess I should just tell you that I don't know why I am
doing this. I mean I still have feelings and I'm still atracted to
men I just don't want one now. After being hurt with Oz I sorta
swore off men for little while. So did Tara, that is why we sorta
fell together. It seemed right," Willow said leaning back against
"Do you still feel that way?" Angel asked.
"I guess. It is just really nice having someone that cares enough
to ask how my day was. I only have one other person that does
"Yeah, I know what you mean. It is nice when you call or email
me just to see how I am doing," Angel said remembering all the
letters and calls he has gotten from the little redhead.
"Right, I feel the same way when you call me or email me. I just
like hearing it on a daily bases when I walk into a room. I get to
just hold her and talk to her. It is like the ultimate other. Although
it does have it's bad sides. I like men," Willow said with a smirk
on her face.
"So why don't you tell Buffy this? She really doesn't understand
what you get out of this."
"Well, I was going to but then I thought `would that say to them
that I don't think of this as a real relationship'? It is a real
relationship but I'm not looking for a life partner. I want children
and to be married to a man. I will tell her but I just want to wait.
Please don't tell her," Willow said with pleading eyes.
"I don't report to Buffy's every whim," Angel said looking a little
hurt for a morment.
"Yeah, is that why I was invited to spend the weekend?" Willow
asked with a laugh.
Angel stood and looked like he was going to start pacing and
thinking when he landed next to Willow. He pulled her into a hug
and whispered, "Are you impling that I don't want to spend a
wonderful weekend with my one best friend?"
"Of course not," Willow said sarcastically just before Angel
started to tickle her.
"Do you surrender, mi lady?" Angel asked as he tickled her
"Never... ne..v..er," Willow laughed as her sides started to hurt.
****Chapter 3 ****
"That was the most fun I have had in such a long time," Willow
said with a large smile as she walked into the lobby hooked on
"You guys look like you had a good time. How was it?" Cordelia
"It was great. We went to the movies. It was hilarious. Then we
went to dinner. It was delicious. Then we went dancing. That
was hilarious," Willow said as she and Angel walked into the
"I don't dance that bad," Angel said with a fake pout.
"No, you don't. You do really well with the slow dances," Willow
said just before he picked her up and threw her over his
shoulder. "Hey... put me down."
"No, not until you apologize. You hurt my feelings," Angel said
before he patted her butt.
"Oh... Cordelia, he just slapped my butt," Willow said
"I know. I saw. What have you done to him? He was such a
gentelman before you," Cordelia said as she strolled over to
Willow's head. In Willow's ear Cordelia whispered, "I think
deadboy here has a crush on you."
"Excuse me?" Willow whispered. "No, he doesn't."
"First of all, I can hear you. Second of all, yes, I do," Angel said
as he let Willow down.
"Did you get him drunk cause normally he is all
Can't-show-any-emotion guy? That is the only reason I can
come up with for him to tell his real feelings," Cordelia said
leaning towards Willow with her arms crossed.
Angel looked at Cordelia with a deathly look and then turned to
Willow. "Sorry about just saying it like that. For a while I have
had feelings of more then a friend for you but I didn't realize how
far they went until this weekend. You make me so happy, so
"Maybe, someone drugged him," Cordelia said holding her chin
in a way that implied she was thinking.
"Cordelia," both Willow and Angel sounded in unison.
"Ooh, you like him," Cordelia said with a large smile. "I'll leave
you two to figure it out."
"Thanks, Cordy," Willow said figgeting. When she was gone
both of them tried to talk at once, "Willow." "Angel." "You go
"Okay, let me go first. Willow, I do have feeling for you and I don't
want this to change our relationship. I love and charish being
your friend," Angel said.
"I love and charish our friendship too. But I am sorta dating
someone so the anything else will have to wait," Willow said with
"But there is a chance?" Angel asked.
"Yes," Willow said smiling.
"Oh, I love you," Angel said as he hugged her and started
"Augh... dizzy... me getting dizzy," Willow said as she hugged him
tight and he spun her around.
"Oh, sorry," Angel said as he let her down.
"You know what?" Willow said bitting her lip.
"No," Angel said shaking his head and pouting his lips.
"You look really cute when you do that," Willow said grabbing his
chin. "I was just thinking that I really really want to kiss you."
"Well, you said only French kissing was crossing the friend
boundry," Angel said as he pulled her to him. "Does that mean
that regular kisses are okay?"
Willow sucked in air making a whistling sound, "That is tough.
See even if those other kisses are okay on the friend boundry I
don't think I could stop myself from crossing that ever so blurry
"Just kiss him already!" Cordelia yelled from the back room.
"Well, if Cordelia says we should kiss I think we should. She is
normally right about these things," Angel said holding her just a
"Oh, yeah," Willow said as a smile broke out across her face.
"Good," Angel said just before his lips chastly came to hers.
"Ooh, I like that," Willow said before she pulled him down for a
more passionate kiss.
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