Always Acting
Listen Al, we gotta talk. You think you know the real me, but you don't. We've known each other for six years. Jesus Christ, you taught me for four of them. I remember what you always used to write on my reports. They went something like, 'Dianna is accomplished in both sides of this subject, but it is my recommendation that sticking to the academic side would help her to achieve a more successful future.'. I realise now it was your way of saying, 'In my opinion, Dianna couldn't act her way out of a paper bag.'. I probably realised it then. So why didn't I quit? Because it was the one small pleasure I got out of life, it still is. My parents had a broken marriage. My sister played truant from school so often the teachers didn't even know who she was. I was the one holding the family together. I was the one who coped with everyone's problems. I didn't have a single soul in the world to tell my problems to. That's why I enjoyed your classes. I could escape by pretending to be someone else. But I couldn't escape totally. There were times when I used to cry. You didn't know that, did you? Sometimes I even cried because of you. I remember one time when I was in Junior year and we were doing something... a musical I think it was... with the Seniors. We got the chance to take it to New York for this Festival, but the problem was, there weren't enough places. You needed three to drop out. Jessie said she didn't want to go, and you asked me and Liz to drop out as we were only in the chorus. I wanted to go, desperately, but I still agreed. Then at the last minute, you found an extra place. It was me, or Liz. I'd been to every single rehearsal of that show. Lot's of times I was just sitting there doing nothing. Liz had only joined the chorus a couple of weeks before the show went on, and you chose her. I'd worked my ass off for that show, yet you still chose her. I went home that night and cried. I cried until I couldn't cry no more. But no-one knew, because the next day at school I acted as if everything was just fine. That's what my life has been. One Big Act. I don't know how, but I swear to God, somehow, I'm gonna be a success. I'll show you Al. Just you wait and see.