2003-03-11 08:23:31 I think this book excerpt says it all. By trying to get something back you lost you become even more of a victim. While your planning how you can make things right again they may simply be taking advantage of the time to keep stringing you along. In case, you bring them dinner or you bring them them their favorite treat. Things will seem wonderful for the moment but before you know it your leaving and things only feel worse again. The one you care so much about may even be encouraging you to stick around. Why not? Why should they say to you it's over. When you so willing to do for them. So willing to hang around and take leftovers. Why am I so willing to take leftovers." 2003-03-11 08:22:51 I didn't get much sleep last night. I think it was nerves. I decided when I woke up at 5:15 that I would put off thing that I had planned to do. I got dressed and remembered I had not weighed. I had eaten so little yesterday I was anxious to see if I had lost any. I got on thinking my body was probably on a plateau and I hadn't lost anything. I almost passed out when I saw I had lost two pounds. I'm angry at myself now for not going ahead with the thing. I used the excuse that I hadn't slept and I should wait until tomorrow but really I was just nervous and saw not sleeping as an easy excuse out. That's part of my problem, I may too many excuses and I have no one around to kick me in the but. Well, I have J. He dosen't let me get away with anything. I try, though. I do my best to make my case and he won't hear it. I'm making excuses and I need to stop."