I sometimes wonder if it's just my group of friends that is so screwed up. Are there other groups of friends out there that are like this? That have crazy neurotic friends who want to hurt you? That have friends who don't call? Or friends that you just can't understand sometimes and when you do understand them, you find out you don't want to? Are there people out there who can't seem to communicate well with their friends, even though they are YOU'RE FRIENDS? Shouldn't these people be the one's who are there for you and who you can talk to about ANYTHING? so why do we not talk? why do we get in stupid fights because of this? Why can't we just have that great normal friendship you had when you were little? you know why? because when we were little, we didn't have all these problems in our lives to tell people. When we had problems, we talked to our parents. But now, our parents can be the source of a lot of our problems. And the problems we have that are not related to our parents are problems that you cannot tell them. Only your friends understand. And if this is right, why can't we just talk like adults? Why is it so hard to have a conversation without all this childish attitude getting in the way? And why does a friendship take up so much of your emotional energy. Why can't it just be a simple thing?
The answer? Because these people know you better than you think. Because they know what ticks you off and they can do it when they please. Because they know that life isn't a simple thing and to make a relationship simple is just faulty. Answers never seem to come easily in this brain I'm housing.
And then in the middle of thinking how much I want to get rid of these friends, I wonder how could I ever possibly live without them?