Do you know the episode?
Buffy: See, this is a school, and we have students, and they check out books, and then they learn things.
Giles: I was beginning to suspect that was a myth.
Giles: Alright, I-I'll just jump in my time machine, go back to the twelfth century and ask the vampires to postpone their ancient prophecy for a few days while you take in dinner and a show.
Buffy: Okay, at this point you're abusing sarcasm.
Giles: If your identity as the Slayer is revealed it could put you and all those around you in grave danger.
Buffy: Well, in that case I won't wear my button that says, 'I'm the Slayer, ask me how!'
Buffy: If the apocalypse comes, beep me.
Angel: You're here on a date?
Buffy: Yes! Why is it such a shock to everyone?
Giles: Uh, two more of the brethren came in here. They came after me. But I was more than a match for them.
Buffy: Meaning?
Giles: I hid.
Giles: Buffy, when I said you could slay vampires and have a social life, I didn't mean at the same time.
Willow: She was already smoking in fifth grade. Once I was lookout for her.
Xander: You're bad to the bone.
Willow: I'm a rebel.
Spike: If every vampire who said he was at the crucifixion was actually there, it would have been like Woodstock.
Spike: I was actually at Woodstock. That was a weird gig. I fed off a flowerperson, and I spent the next six hours watchin' my hand move.
Xander: And while I'm whittling, I plan to whistle a jaunty tune.
Buffy: We were at the Bronze before. Thought you said you might show.
Angel: You said you weren't sure if you were going.
Buffy: I was being cool. C'mon, you've been dating for, what, like, two hundred years? You don't know what a girl means when she says maybe she'll show?
Xander: Okay, that's it. I'm puttin' a collar with a little bell on that guy.
Angel: I taught you to always guard your perimeter. Tsk, tsk, tsk. You should have someone out there.
Spike: I did. I'm surrounded by idiots. What's new with you?
Angel: Everything.
Spike: Yeah. Come up against this Slayer yet?
Angel: She's cute. Not too bright, though. Gave the puppy dog 'I'm all tortured' act. Keeps her off my back when I feed.
Spike: People still fall for that Anne Rice routine. What a world!
Xander: I knew you were lying. Undead liar guy.
Spike: You think you can fool me?! You were my sire, man! You were my... Yoda!
Angel: Things change.
Spike: Not us! Not demons! Man, I can't believe this. You Uncle Tom!
Xander: So, when you gave him my neck to chew on, why didn't you clock him before he had a chance to clock you?
Angel: I told you. I couldn't make the first move. I had to see if he was buying it or not.
Xander: A-and if he bit me, what then?
Angel: We would've known he bought it.
Spike: A Slayer with family and friends. That sure as hell wasn't in the brochure.
Xander: And they burst in, rescuing us, without even knocking? I mean, this is really all their fault.
Buffy: Your logic does not resemble our Earth logic.
Xander: Mine is much more advanced.
Angel: The Master rose. He let me live...to punish me. I kept hoping maybe you'd come. My destiny.
Buffy: Is this a get-in-my-pants thing? You guys in Sunnydale talk like I'm the Second Coming.
Willow: Isn't he gonna poof?
Buffy: I guess these guys don't. We'll have to bury him or something. Ohh, makes you appreciate vamps, though. No fuss, no muss.
Xander: Excuse me, I need to be both giving and receiving of mirth. Is it too much to ask for a little back-up?
Buffy: I'm here for you, Xand. I'm support-o-gal.
Willow: It's true - Cordelia belongs to the justified camp. She should make us pay. And pay, and pay, and pay... In fact, there's just not enough pay for what...
Xander: Look, you want to do guilt-a-palooza, fine.
Xander: Behold the beauty that is now. Who's with me?
Buffy: Actually, he's making sense. We're young and free in America. How dare we be spun by love, or the lack of same?
Willow: Absolutely. It's self-indulgent. I'm in. I'm on the joy train.
Buffy: That didn't work. Who wants chocolate?
Cordelia: What's up with you two and the leather?
Willow: Hmm, Buffy. Ooh, scary.
Xander: Someone has to talk to her people. That name is striking fear in nobody's hearts.
Buffy: World is what it is. We fight, we die. Wishing doesn't change that.
Giles: I have to believe in a better world.
Buffy: Go ahead. I have to live in this one.
Buffy: I don't play well with others. Now, I'm gonna ask you this once, and then I'm gonna get testy.
Quotes courtesy of Laugh Lines, Love Lines.
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